Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm going into the wild, I am. It's been a wild, freedom child since I left my roots back home. Into the wild I'm good. Into the wild I am. It's been a wild freedom child since I left my roots back home.
Speaker 1
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya. It's
Speaker 0
been a wild freedom check since I've left my rules back home.
Speaker 2
Alright. Britney, welcome.
Speaker 3
Hi.
Speaker 2
I didn't ask you. Where do you live?
Speaker 3
California. Oh. Right on the beach.
Speaker 2
Oh, okay. Cool. Cool. Okay. Big story today. So I'm gonna just kick back and let you decide where to start and and where to yeah. Where where do you wanna get into this whole big wild tale?
Speaker 3
Yeah. Well, I've had, a really long journey, fertility journey. I guess I'll start with the fact that I have three brain tumors, and I was diagnosed when I was twenty. But my journey with the been very ingrained in the medical system. And my journey really started when I was in high school, and I was having these debilitating headaches. And, my doctor kept saying that there's nothing wrong with me and tried to convince my parents that, I was crying out for attention because I was an only child. And that was the first time that Woah. I was kind of told not to listen to my intuition. And so and my parents, you know, they tried really hard to support me, but they also come from that generation that doctors are authority figures and they know best. You know? So in, in college, they found the tumors, and I went on to have a couple surgeries, brain surgeries, and, then I had chemotherapy off and on for about nine years. But I have very close relationship with my oncologist, and I took what he said as, you know, basically, that's what I had to do. And not listening at all to my intuition and how I don't know. It's like my story was written for me. You know?
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
When I found out I had the tumors, the doctor told me that I would be deaf, blind, paralyzed, facial paralysis, and then possibly dead, in the third in my thirties. And I remember going, no. That's not me. And this guy didn't know much about my condition, but that's what he read in textbooks, so that's what he regurgitated to me. And and it didn't happen. I lost most of my hearing, but all this other stuff is just never happened. So, anyway, my oncologist, when we were gonna get pre we wanted to get pregnant. My oncologist said, there's no way that your body can handle carrying a child. Okay. So we started IVF, and we did IVF Woah. To do a surrogate. We are gonna have a surrogate because I couldn't couldn't carry. Right? That's what they told
Speaker 2
me. They just knew. They were just confident. There was no way Yes. Because of brain tumors.
Speaker 3
Because of brain tumors. Yeah. And and and so I believed them. I believed that, okay, I wouldn't be able to do this on my own. So I my only way to have children would be to have a surrogate. So my husband and I did IVF for seven years, and we lost a lot of embryos. We did a lot of rounds. We finally my sister-in-law was our surrogate. God bless her. She lost the baby at ten weeks. And after that, I just had this epiphany that we're doing this all wrong. This is very transactional. This is this is not how it's supposed to be. This doesn't feel right. So I started working out, and that kind of gave me more of confidence in my body. I changed my diet, and that gave me disciplined mind my mind discipline. And I did some soul searching and then came to my husband and said, I I think we need to do this naturally. Like, are you on board? And he thought, well, the only, like, real risk is that you'll lose your hearing. So you're already losing it. We're just gonna probably accelerate it, but I'm with you if that's just something you wanna do.
Speaker 2
Forgive my ignorance, but why would a pregnancy negatively impact your hearing?
Speaker 3
Because my tumors are on the hearing nerve, and if they grow from the hormones
Speaker 2
Okay.
Speaker 3
Then they would squeeze the nerve, and then that would cause hearing loss. Alright. Okay. Yeah. So so we decided we're gonna consciously try to get pregnant, and, we got pregnant right away. And my doctors were so scared. My parents were so scared. My parents were trying to talk me out of it because they were worried. I understand the perspective. The only child, are you risking your life doing this? But I just knew that this was this was the way to go. And it just happened so natural and so fast, you know, getting naturally pregnant. And, so, then the next thing is doctor said, okay. You have to have a c section because the pushing is gonna create problems with the brain tumors. And what if, you know, we have to have a neurologist or a neurosurgeon on call. And that was considered high risk, so I had to have all these ultrasounds. So I didn't know anything about birth. I was fine with the c section. And, so I went along with it for a while. And then they did a scan of my spine, and they found a tumor where they would have to put the epidural. So they said, oh, okay. Now you could either have to go natural or you'd have to go under anesthesia to deliver your baby.
Speaker 2
My goodness. Okay.
Speaker 3
And I said, well, I'm not going under anesthesia. I'm not missing the whole thing. Mm-mm. And that scared me a lot, you know, the medicine going into the baby and transferring. So I, I said, okay. Well, I'm gonna go natural. And you're really worried about the brain tumors and pushing. Now this is a guy telling me. Right? So he knows nothing about birth. And, so I did, hypnosis, and that really helped me calm my body. The, the the OB also told me when I told him I was going to do this naturally and I don't want any medication, he said, oh, no. You're gonna need medication. I'm gonna have laughing gas for you. Said, no. Don't even bring up any medication to me, please. And I got really upset because it was again it was another guy telling me that I couldn't handle something. And I knew from just working out how much I could handle, pushing my limits. You know? So, my so I've had three kids, and my first birth was in the hospital, but it was natural. And, there were so many things about it that I liked, but so many things I didn't like and how I was treated. So my second birth, I decided I'm gonna do a home birth. By the way, everything was okay.
Speaker 2
Do you wanna give a quick review of that birth? Do if you wanna take a couple minutes to share about it.
Speaker 3
Sure. It was fast. It was six hours. I was I was doing hypnosis the whole time, so my body was pretty calm. And, when I my intuition was saying, hey. This is this is moving. So we went to the hospital, and the doctors again said, you go get a hotel room. You're not going to, birth this baby until, like, late tomorrow. Said, I I don't think so. I think it's coming. And within two hours, I had I had jumped, you know, so many centimeters. And I was getting into transition, and they had to call the doctor. But the doctor was not available, so they told me not to start pushing, but I felt like I needed to push. So I said, screw it. I'm pushing, because I felt like it. And he came in right at the last minute. But there was some, so they all freaked out and, cut the cord really fast. Literally threw the baby to the NICU team who cleaned her off, but and then they stuck me with Pitocin after because they said I was losing a lot of blood. I really wasn't. The doctor just wanted to get home. I mean, he was it was it was his wife's birthday, and he just wanted to get home, really, when you think about it.
Speaker 2
I mean, even if he didn't want to get home, that is the standard. All women get pitocin postpartum if they're not already on it in their birth.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. I and I told him I didn't want any medication, so that was one thing that really upset me
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 3
Because he stuck me with it, and I I told him I didn't want it. But I was in such a high from giving birth that I didn't even know what was going on. I was in my I don't know. I was in the portal, I guess. You know? So I felt really violated with that. I just look back, I think, how did you not know that I was gonna have this baby? And what would have happened if I would have left? Well, I would have free birthed, I guess, which would have been great, but I just knew that I was having this baby. So that was my first kind of glimpse into birth and intuition. And my husband was so supported and he was in awe of what the body could do that when it came to my second birth and saying, hey. I wanna do this at home, he was totally on board because it wasn't scary to him at all. He was scared during the pregnancy. He would bring up the fears, to me, and we talked through them, because of what the medical team was telling us all the time because they were scared.
Speaker 2
Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. And did your hearing decrease from the pregnancies? Yeah. They did. Very good.
Speaker 3
Yeah. It did. But we were comfortable with it. Mhmm. It's just been, something we've had to navigate. It's like our new normal. Mhmm. But it's also been a gift in many ways as well. So, I feel like I probably would have just gone to the hospital and gotten an epidural and done all those things if I haven't even had these tur tumors. Totally. You know? Mhmm. It's it's such a blessing, and the universe has definitely guided me through this whole experience. And birth has been my biggest catalyst for growth for sure.
Speaker 2
I guess we didn't we didn't say this at the beginning. People might be wondering how we're even having this conversation, but you have a hearing aid in and you're seeing you're reading my captions.
Speaker 3
Or I'm reading your yeah. And your lips.
Speaker 2
And my lips. Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay. So hospital birth, you have your baby. You are you know, you go through a totally average hospital birth. You realize that sucks. It can be better. So how soon after do you get pregnant with your second? How far apart are they?
Speaker 3
Twenty three months.
Speaker 2
Okay. And so you hire a medical home birth midwife?
Speaker 3
So I I, interviewed a bunch of midwives, and I liked all of them. But I was looking for a sign, a feeling that who, you know, who would be the best person to deliver? I'm still thinking I'm high risk. Right? Just because I don't know. Yes. That was a textbook birth, and it was easy, and it was perfect. But, you know, can I have can it happen again? That birth definitely, made me question everything. I I questioned a lot when it came to medical, advice, statistics, just the fear that they put onto you. They're projecting their own fears. And so I I had a call with this midwife, and, and by the way, the other mid midwives were kind of, like, little, I don't know if I don't know. I might I won't want an OB to sign off on it or something. You know? Like, they were worried about the liability, I think, because it's a little weird having somebody who has brain tumors want a home birth in a way. It's just medically scary, I guess. And she was, she said that's not a problem for me. I I feel intuitively like we can do this, and I just got this feeling over my body, and I just knew that it was her. She, she was wonderful. She's more on the spiritual side, more on the, she wasn't she wasn't too medical. You know? But during the birth, her attendant, was a little bit more nervous. And, Emmy, she came out, not breathing. And the birth attendant, made it kind of a big deal about it.
Speaker 2
And Wait. When you say birth attendant
Speaker 3
And then You know how it meant by an fuck her assistant.
Speaker 0
Her
Speaker 3
assistant. Okay. I'm with you. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's what I meant. Mhmm. So she made us get out of the birth pool and, you know, she kinda gave a little mouth to mouth and use the empty bag. And I and they were just talking too. I mean, the whole time telling her to, you know, transition into her body and everything. And I had I had, the midwife that I had, she had the same thing happen to her when she gave her first birth. And, so I was I knew her story. And so I wasn't worried. I wasn't nervous, but I did kind of let this birth assistant kinda take over, which bothered me. Yeah. Because, again, I gave I gave her authority. You know?
Speaker 2
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Speaker 3
But it was a great birth. I actually had, my whole family there. Like, my in laws, my parents.
Speaker 0
Woah.
Speaker 3
I almost yeah. I almost wanted to, to show them what an actual birth can be like because they never experienced something like that, and they were so fearful. And I almost wanted to prove to them that there's no fear. But it did so funny because it did take longer. It took thirteen hours at first because I was in my own head because I was on display. Mhmm. It wasn't the natural way that you give birth. Right? Because you would normally give it and and be intimate, and you'd be alone. And so I think the stress kinda slowed down the birth a bit.
Speaker 2
But you're overall happy with that birth experience?
Speaker 3
I was happy with it except for the fact that I feel like Emmy was they've kind of forced breath into her, and I can kinda see that, in her toddler years. If you try to push on, push her to do something, she's a lot more aggressive back. So her temperament is definitely different than my first, and I think that was her first experience Sure. Or side, so that makes sense to me.
Speaker 2
So tell me about when you hear about free birth, and when do you start to be attracted to that and interested in that?
Speaker 3
So my midwife for my second birth, I was also seeing my OB for a while during that pregnancy, and she kept planting these seeds of questioning why. Well, why would you do that? Why do you think you need to do that? And so I started really it it opened my eyes. And then after that birth, she moved away. And I texted her and said, well, if I have another baby, what am I gonna do? You moved away. And she said, you're just gonna free birth. And I go, what the heck is that? And so she went into it. I said and she's like, I'll I'll root for you on the sidelines out here, but you're gonna free birth it. Okay. So then, like, a year later, my husband and I decide, okay. We're we're ready probably for a third. We get pregnant. And I I started interviewing midwives, and none of them were available. And I was early too, but I I meditated on it, and this spirit said, no. We are gonna go your own way. And I realized that, oh, we are really doing this together, just me and you. I just can't believe that none of them advice were available, and I'm so glad that they weren't. But, so my previous midwife had free birth to her second child, and she we had numerous conversations about Emmy's birth, and Hajj, she's like, this is how I would have done it differently.
Speaker 2
That sounds like a pretty unique midwife to be rep you know, to be suggesting free birth.
Speaker 3
Yep. And she and she analyzed Emmy's birth, and she said, oh, this is what I would have done differently. And this is when I think we overstepped, and this is when we should have trusted your intuition. And it was really cool to hear her say that, and she has just been a big advocate of that, of rebirth and quest and making me question things, but in a very gentle way.
Speaker 2
I also respect, in this case, hers. Very specifically, I really respect, and it's a rare time I hear of a medical midwife openly changing and exploring how she could have done things differently, it's very, very rare that a woman as a client of a midwife would ever tell me that her midwife admitted that she could have done things better, that's really uncommon. So Yeah. I appreciate that.
Speaker 3
I think we've all grown so much from our pre birth experience and, like, looking back on things, how we did it. So that's how I kind of learned about free birth. And then she told me to check out free birth society, and I dove into the course. And then I got an email from you showing your last birth and how you waited when the baby wasn't breathing and you trusted. And then, you know, the spirit came into the body and transitioned. And I looked back at Emmy's birth, and I just I couldn't believe that I let somebody use an ampou bag and didn't just trust, but it opened my eyes Yeah. Again. So I feel like it's just been a series of nudges throughout age four. And I came, I came home told my husband. I I just watched this video, and you get a free birth. He goes, What? Here he is. What? What does that mean exactly? Wait, it's just me? So there was a lot we had to discuss. Well, how are we gonna cut the placenta? Wait, who's gonna catch the placenta? So he had a lot of questions, but once we talked through everything, then it was telling my parents, which is a really hard thing. Mhmm. Because I still I still value their opinion. I still, you know, went to them for advice on things. But this is something that I knew that this baby wanted, this baby chose as well. So it took a lot to get them on board as well. I sent them a lot of the the, information from the from your course as well, and that really helped ease their minds. Like, the cord around the neck. That was my dad's biggest thing. Like, oh, my first two births didn't have a cord around the neck. Why is this coming up? It's like, I don't know. I saw it in a movie once, and it scared me. Okay. Okay. So, I didn't have it was it was a wild pregnancy. I mean, I didn't I didn't go get ultrasounds. I knew really nothing. I didn't know the conception date. I remember that. I'm
Speaker 2
I'm curious at this point. What is the status of your tumors? Are they benign? Is that the right word? Are you know, are you still engaged in the medical system for that?
Speaker 3
Yes. Yes.
Speaker 2
What's give me a little update there.
Speaker 3
Okay. So, yeah, they're, they are considered benign by most oncologists. Some oncologists say still label them as cancer, but I would call them benign. They just grow. And then you for me, I go on a low dose chemotherapy, and they bring them down. Now I've tried a lot of alternative medicine. Nothing has quite stuck yet, but I also believe that they're gonna stick around until they've done the work that you've I don't know. I just feel like if I didn't have them during those those births, I probably wouldn't have moved into free birth. Like, it I I needed them to awaken me in a way. So, yes, they have they they would grow with each pregnancy, then I would have to go on chemotherapy for a while to bring them down. But my yeah. So, unfortunately, I have to stop breastfeeding at, like, two months and go back on chemotherapy. Yeah. That's hard. With any, actually, I had just gotten back on chemotherapy. I had just had my first infusion and found out I was pregnant. So then I was really freaked out because my oncologist said, well, I don't think that the embryo is gonna survive, and we don't know if it's gonna have a bunch of birth defects and and and anything. I said, well, I'm just gonna trust that this spirit came in for a reason. And even knowing what was you know, that I had one treatment and see how it goes. And I'm just so glad that I trusted that because she's perfect. They just didn't know.
Speaker 2
Why is the reason to start chemo so early in postpartum? Just to manage them so that something what what's the thought there?
Speaker 3
Well, because you've been off of chemotherapy for a year. And so they had gotten so big that, you know, my, brain stem was was really, I don't know, squeezed. So they were just worried about what could happen. They're slower growing, though, and I wasn't really presenting many symptoms other than the hair loss, which I was okay with. That being something that was gonna go with each pregnancy has it's gotten worse.
Speaker 2
So is the thought that they would just grow exponentially?
Speaker 3
Yeah. They will continue to grow unless I go on chemotherapy and bring them down or unless I find some alternative medicine that doesn't Okay. That I'm still on the hunt for. Okay. Yeah. So I would be, like, four months on chemo, four months off. Four months on, four months off, after the pregnancies. And then I go through a detox to try to get everything out and then get pregnant again. Wow. So okay. So, my husband really wanted me to have a birth attendant at my at my at this last pregnancy, my third pregnancy, because he thought he needed support in filling up the birth pool. And so I found a sovereign birth worker. She is the same one that Sparrow used, and she was wonderful. I mainly just had her prepare for postpartum, the herbs, and help with the birth pool. And I'm glad that I had her there for Mark, But this rebirth was awesome because I did it all my on my own. And it was, it was an I was a little worried because I have two, two little girls, and they were four and two. And I didn't know how this was all gonna go down because they're wild. And, it happened in the morning, around four o'clock in the morning. I started I I woke up, and I was like, oh, okay. I think this is gonna happen. I meditated, and then I told Mark, hey. We've gotta this is gonna happen. I gotta get the birth pool ready. I just felt really good in the birth pool. It just really eased my muscles, and I don't it just felt right with my last birth, so I wanted to do that again. But he was having trouble with it, so he called the birth attendant. But during that time, I got in the jacuzzi outside, and so it was dawn, and it was beautiful because I was out in nature. And that's where I really preferred to birth. Kids were still sleeping. I was just I was just out there by myself, in it. And I remember talking to to my baby about, the birthing waves. It really felt like like a like a like an actual wave. Like, he was surfing through the wave, and he was, like, at the top, and then he would, you know, come out of the barrel, and then it would go down. And and then at one point, I actually had the thought and the feeling of, oh my gosh. Can I really do this? It's the point of no return? And, I don't I don't know. I don't know if I have any support. And having this all this fear came up. And then I saw my mom in my vision. I was like, oh, this is what she felt. I, like, embodied her. She's really scary. Like, she thought she was getting an epidural. She didn't get an epidural, so she had a lot of fear when she had me and wasn't prepared mentally for it. And so I almost felt like I was, healing some generational trauma. Because I was able to talk myself down, talk myself out of it, and get back into with, with my baby. So that was cool. And then, and then I just felt like pushing. And so I came back inside, got in the birth pool. They finally had it set up. The girls were up. They started eating breakfast. And then they would come over and give me some electrolyte water. And then I said, okay. It's happening. And then push the baby out. It's a total of five hours. It was fast. It was beautiful.
Speaker 2
And then baby breathed in their own time?
Speaker 3
Yes. Yes. Baby was absolutely fine. I didn't have any of that. But I also think I had to go through that experience in a way to to move me into the free birth. Like, it all like, I could connect the dots when I look back. And then it got me to trust more.
Speaker 2
Mhmm. Totally. Okay. To be annoying, you didn't have a free birth. You had a sovereign birth.
Speaker 3
I had a sovereign birth. Yes.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Which is amazing and epic, and it's not a hierarchy. And I really wish people would understand that. But you had a beautifully, perfectly supported sovereign birth in the presence of a sovereign midwife. And the reason I care about making that distinction is that is what midwifery should be.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 2
You know? And it's not. And so it's it's important to me that we are naming things correctly so that
Speaker 3
we
Speaker 2
can so that we can bring back or or move forward into the right true midwifery, which doesn't take anything away. And the role you and your husband wanted her to play was primarily for Mark.
Speaker 3
Yeah. It was a ball for him.
Speaker 2
Right. And she did that. Mhmm. And a medical licensed midwife doesn't do that, can't do that. And so I just appreciate the the capacity and the spectrum and the flexibility that a sovereign midwife can have. You know? Because exactly. She didn't take anything away from you. Of course, you did it on your own. Of course.
Speaker 3
Well, even that morning, I woke up completely deaf. Like, I couldn't hear I'm pretty much deaf as it is, but, like, I couldn't hear anything, and not from my hearing aid. Wow. I certainly couldn't hear the the birth the, hypnosis tracks. So my so this baby really, really wanted me to trust my intuition and just go within. Yeah. And it was great because that was also another crutch. Mhmm. You know, that that that I got rid of. Because that kind of brought you into like, can I can I keep myself calm during this whole thing? Because I really believe that when my muscles are calm, then it's an easier experience. It seems to be faster too. But when I'm stressed out, it it's it takes longer. So that was kind of interesting that I couldn't but I wasn't I wasn't afraid. Like, usually, that would I I think that would make me really afraid is I wouldn't be able to ask for anything. I wouldn't get anything back. You know? Mhmm.
Speaker 2
So how would you say birthing in this way has shaped you, matured you, changed you? Well,
Speaker 3
I haven't gone back on chemotherapy, and it's been six months. And I just don't wanna engage in the medical system anymore. I should've, like, been taking my time because I I just couldn't I can do it on myself. Like, I I I I don't know. I just feel like I can heal my body myself. I don't need I I mean, yes. There's there's some need for medical intervention support at times, but I just have this new sense of empowerment that, I don't wanna just rely on what they see from an MRI. I've done, and I I just feel like I'm be divinely led, and I I just need to keep trusting that. And it also has has impacted the way that I parent too as I'm a very I parent very differently than, my parents did or any of the other generations. It just awakened me to more intuitive parenting. Yeah. Taking things slower. I don't
Speaker 2
know. So if you're not back on chemo, are you still nursing six months postpartum? Okay. That's a really big deal. You didn't do that with your daughters.
Speaker 3
Right? Right. Right. It's a huge deal. I'm cosleeping. That's very different for me, and it's so much easier to just turn over. It latches on, and then I get so much more sleep. Yeah. And, like, we just got over COVID, and just being able to nurse him the whole time and, also being part of your community and hearing all of the stories of people who've been okay with a high temperature, and that gave me more confidence to let this go. And I mean, there's they got over it so quickly because it didn't intervene. It was just my milk. And I'm just so grateful that my body can create this miracle milk for my babies, you know, and regulate temperature.
Speaker 2
Seriously. I just heard, Zach Busch talking about how a new cutting edge treatment in cancer patients is to heat the patient's body up into a feverish state and then give them very, very, very small amounts of chemo in a feverish state. And that from that state, they're producing more energy to heal faster.
Speaker 3
Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 2
I know. I thought it was interesting.
Speaker 3
Something to look into.
Speaker 2
Yeah. I mean, that's that's the extent of what I what I remember. But it was interesting. It was like, oh, that makes sense to me that you have more energy to heal in a heated state. Right? And we know not to suppress fevers for obvious reason reasons. Right. Yeah. Well, wow. How old is this new baby?
Speaker 3
Six months.
Speaker 2
Okay. So it wasn't that long ago?
Speaker 3
No.
Speaker 2
Well, is there anything else you wanna share before we close?
Speaker 3
I don't know. I I just I just want people to know that they need to just trust their body and not just what peep what the medical team is telling me all the time. Like, most of their statistics are off anyway. And when I when I was first diagnosed and I rejected all of the things that they told me that were gonna happen to me, except for some reason I held on to that hearing thing, but, then maybe that's part of it. Maybe that's part of, finding more of the intuition is cutting out all the noise. And maybe that's what my body was doing. Like, you gotta cut out all of this distraction because you're not doing it yourself to get into your intuition. I gotta take your hearing. Oh, no. It's been quite the journey. But,
Speaker 2
yeah. So when in the past, historically, when you've done the chemo after a birth, your hearing, gets better?
Speaker 3
A little bit.
Speaker 2
A little.
Speaker 3
But not much. Not enough to where, you know, it it it it's never gone back to where it was. It comes back, like, just a little bit, and then it'll it'll go down a little bit when the tumors grow. But if each with each pregnancy, I definitely go down another level and another level. Mhmm. But that was something that we were okay with. And so now it's just like navigating this new normal and Mhmm. I think and it's actually been really good for our family. It's brought in my husband and I a lot closer because we've just had to problem solve and try and do things differently. And, actually, communicating more with body language Mhmm. And, yeah, so many we use so many words, but for what? Like, we don't really need that many words
Speaker 2
Totally.
Speaker 3
To connect.
Speaker 2
Well, I really appreciate your willingness to play with how this has also shown up for you and for your family and how it has held gifts because it would be very easy. And I'm sure you've had touch points of this, but it would be very easy to feel victimized and and, like, it's unfair and, complain and and feel, you know, super uniquely targeted or, you know, the stuff that people go through. And and there's really nothing right or wrong with that choice, but it is inspiring when we hear women who walk with, you know, what's even the right word? Challenges? I mean, who doesn't walk with challenges? You have your own unique flavor as everyone does. But your choice to seek the gifts and really work with it and see how it's here for you is yeah. I just really respect it.
Speaker 3
I don't think I was always that way. I think in the in the very beginning, I think I definitely checked on more of the the victim persona, and I think it's just been it's like birth has been so powerful for me because it gives me it's the empowerment that I see, and it's claiming claiming that power back, because it was just taken from me for so many years.
Speaker 0
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And it was really important for me with the home birth and then the birth my last birth. What would you call it? Sovereign birth, I guess. Mhmm. That my that my two girls were there and that they watched. You know? And that they weren't scared of it. Yeah. They were really excited. They watched the whole time. They went, baby, when the baby came out.
Speaker 2
Well, you changed a huge narrative in your family because if you had stayed on the trajectory you were on, the IVF, the you're too it's too dangerous for you to have a pregnancy, you could have so easily stuck with that. And then, if you had been able to produce children through somebody else, that would have been the story told to them, and that would have been the family story. I mean, you did a huge pivot through the last seven years.
Speaker 3
Yeah. She was like, when I was doing IVF, you we lost so many.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
And they said that my my my eggs were just abnormal. You know? And and I just and and I was older, and, so being able to to get pregnant so quickly naturally, just by and it's a lot of mindset. I mean, it's it's it's a mind game, I think, too. So, yeah, I think that it really changed it changed some generational stuff for sure.
Speaker 2
There was just so many layers of fear projected onto your life story that you have alchemized, you know, rejected or just, like, dealt with and alchemized and and done a different way. It's really cool.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I mean, you definitely have to reject a lot of what people tell you that's gonna happen to you.
Speaker 2
I couldn't agree more.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Your story is different. Right? And I guess that's the same thing in birth. Like, when people tell you their birth story, or they just wanna tell you and and it'll look as all negative or something, and you just have to kind of reject and you have to find all the positive ones because your story is different, and it doesn't have to be the same as somebody else and what they went through. And everyone's on a different journey, so their birth, you know, changes them in some in in different ways. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Thank you. We really appreciate your community because if I didn't have that, to go to, if I didn't have all those stores, all the podcasts, all the support, I don't know I don't know if I would have been as confident going in and if I would have had the same experience. And it definitely helped also with, like, all the the people, the the support system I had around me that was really worried and really nervous.
Speaker 0
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
Because when you tell somebody that you're just really not gonna have anybody but just you and your husband, they freak
Speaker 4
out. Yeah.
Speaker 2
So what you're saying is go buy the complete guide. Consider Absolutely. Consider joining the Lighthouse. It'll change your life. We're here for you. Sincerely.
Speaker 3
Certainly to deprogram from the medical system, which I was heavily heavily into. I was even in medical sales for a long time, and I can't even I can't even believe I was that person.
Speaker 2
Awesome. I love the growth. Well, thank you. Thank you for your time.
Speaker 3
Thank you.
Speaker 2
I hope you enjoyed the show today. You can support this podcast by donating to it through the link in the show notes below, and of course, leaving an awesome review on whatever platform you listen on. The more reviews, the more visibility the show gets, so let's spread the good word of Sovereign Birth. Don't forget, you can watch our podcast interviews on YouTube and see the women as they tell their birth and power stories, and you'll also find our viral free birth collection of epic, raw birth videos on our YouTube. Make sure you're subscribed to our channel. We've always got a lot going on at Free Birth Society, and you can find out all about it at free birth society dot com, at free birth society on Instagram, and opt in to my newsletter below. We offer courses on free birth, authentic midwifery, the blood mysteries, as well as one on one coaching, in person retreats, and, of course, our annual women's gathering, the Matriarch Rising Festival. Our exclusive private vetted membership, The Lighthouse, is definitely something to check out if you're looking for a community of wise sisters sisters to get guidance from and to meet in real life. Together, we rise sisters. We must speak our stories, fully claim our lives, and support one another. This is the living revolution, and I am so grateful to be in it with all of you. I'll leave you with our gorgeous free birth society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 4
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored, eons upon the in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging our babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons all your poison. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention, death, ascension.
