Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm going into the wild, I am. It's been a wild freedom child since I left my roots back home. Into the wild I'm good. Into the wild I am.
Speaker 1
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya.
Speaker 0
It's been a wild freedom check since I've left my rules back home.
Speaker 2
Are you ready to become the powerful matriarch and wise woman you are here on this earth to be? Wherever you are on your path, Free Birth Society has a program perfectly curated for you. Learn everything you need to know to be prepared for a powerful birth experience with our flagship course, The Complete Guide to Free Birth. Join our groundbreaking Radical Birthkeeper School, an immersive, authentic midwifery intensive, and reclaim birth work as it's meant to be.
Speaker 3
Take charge of your family's health
Speaker 2
and wellness and become the herbal healer of your home with our new course, wild mother medicine chest. Prepare your mind, body, spirit for conscious conception through welcoming your spirit baby home, and call your next baby in. Awaken your innate womb wisdom, and remove any fear or doubt about your upcoming birth with our sovereign birth meditation series. And finally, gain the simple tools you need to peacefully resolve pregnancy aches and exhaustion, pain with body full of grace, and be able to truly enjoy your pregnancy. Head over to Freebird Society courses now to join the global sisterhood and elevate your life.
Speaker 4
After being backed into a corner, fearmongered and without options, in her first birth, Dominique was bullied into a c section. When she became pregnant again, she was determined to write a news story. She thought she could make it work with her medical midwives by speaking up, saying no, and taking the reins. But it turned out, as it so often does, that that resulted in her medical midwives abandoning her care at thirty seven weeks pregnant. Facing the paths ahead of her, Dominique knew it was either a repeat c section or a free birth. So with the support of her friend on the phone, intentional breath work, and finding her warrior strength within, Dominique free birthed her eleven pound baby boy. She speaks of the transformation and inner strength she cultivated and the real discovery of her voice to speak up towards injustice, claiming her autonomy and moving towards a life of peace even if it is by herself.
Speaker 3
Welcome, Dominique.
Speaker 5
Hi.
Speaker 3
Happy to have you here. I feel like this is a long time coming.
Speaker 5
Oh, yeah. Very long.
Speaker 3
So tell me about who you were in your first pregnancy because I know you're here to tell two stories today. So go back to I guess that child would be six or so years now.
Speaker 5
Yeah. Two thousand sixteen.
Speaker 3
Okay. Yeah. So tell us about who you are at that point in your life. You know, what does your pregnancy look like and and tell us about that birth.
Speaker 5
I was, late twenties and first pregnancy. I I I worked like, I had a job and worked in an office, and I had, like, an idea of what I wanted as my for my birth. I was working with midwives, and my pregnancy actually went pretty well. Like, everything was good. I was working out. I didn't feel sick, stuff like that. But I had, like, a full plan. Like, I'm gonna give birth at the birth center. I'm gonna have a water birth, no medication, and, like, that was my plan when with my first pregnancy.
Speaker 3
So you have registered midwives in Canada, so they have correct me if I'm off here. So that means that they have a birth center near a hospital, right, that you are meant to go into. And so what happens? Do you how does how does it feel to have medicalized midwifery care in your pregnancy? It sounds like your pregnancy was pretty simple. How does it how does it go? Because, obviously, we know that at some point it starts to to turn for you.
Speaker 5
Yeah. It it was going really well. They had a team of midwives. I think I had four of them or three or four of them. There was one that I really liked, I really connected with, and, like, think the visits were really, really good, and I was very hopeful for for the plan. Yeah. And then and then things kinda went different when the day happened.
Speaker 3
So you were able to go into spontaneous labor?
Speaker 5
Yeah. I just I remember I woke up with a lot of back pain, and then tried to go for a walk in, like it was December, so it was, like, really cold outside. Got all dressed up at, like, six AM and tried to just walk around the block. And then I realized it was contractions because I had to stop every few minutes, like and I couldn't walk. And, yeah, I think we called the midwives. And the one that I really liked was the one on staff, but she was finishing her shift. Like, it was about to change to someone else. And then she just said, yeah. Like, it does it doesn't like, it sounds like you're right at the beginning. So probably, like, by tonight or by tomorrow morning, you'd be, like, you know, ready. But it just kept going. And then I think around ten ish, it was just a lot to the point where I want to go to the, to the birth center. So, yeah, we went, and it was a girl that I had only met once. So, like, I just didn't feel, like, as connected with her. And then the first thing she did was check my, cervix. And then as soon as she did that, the my water burst. So
Speaker 3
Oh, no.
Speaker 5
Yeah. And then she's like, oh, you have meconium, so you're gonna have to go to the hospital. Yeah. So it was like we were at the birth center, and then right away, we already have to go to the hospital. So right right away, my plan is ruined.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And, you know, so many medical midwives intentionally break waters to see if there's meck. It's really dirty. It's really dangerous. It's really a dirty practice. And, you know, they're not comfortable slash in lots of places. They're not allowed by their license to support, you know, meconium stained waters at home. And so they will actually intentionally but seemingly accidentally break waters. It's so dirty.
Speaker 5
Yeah. Yeah. Because it happened right away. And, like, me and my partner were like we were like, no. We don't want the hospital kind of thing. So we said, like, what can we do? Like, can we stay or can we, like, what can we do? And she said, like, well, you really need to get the heart rate thing, at the hospital, but if you choose to stay home, like, she kinda was just fear like, she's saying it in a fear fearful way. Yeah. Like, if you choose to stay home, I'll do my best to support you. But, yeah, it was, like, very fear fearful, so it didn't feel like a choice. Mhmm. And we had nothing at home, like, no preparation, like, no, you know, mats or whatever. So, yeah, we headed to the hospital, I think, around eleven. And, of course, like, I'm stressed already, so things aren't going too well for me. And the meconium just keeps kinda I had a pad, and it just keeps, you know, coming out. And, I don't know if it was, like, maybe around eleven thirty or twelve that I I got put into, like, a bed and, like, in a tiny, I guess, triage room or whatever. And I was going on all fours to be comfortable. And within, like, a few minutes, they're starting to tell me, no. You need to turn around because I guess the, you know, the Velcro, heart thing. They're like, we can't really read the heart rate thing, so you need to lay down. And that that's at the point where things went really bad for me because that pain was unbearable, and I just felt helpless. Like, I was just laying down crying. And I told them, no. I like, I need to I need to get up. Like, I need to turn around and I need to whatever. So then they said, okay. Well, there's a thing we can put, an electrode. We can put that, in your daughter's head, basically. And once we do that, then you can move around.
Speaker 3
So we can screw metal into her head, into her swollen, yeah, fontanelle, her capette. Yep. Yeah.
Speaker 5
So they
Speaker 3
It's it's actual torture. Right? It's an impossible series of options, fake options, and it's torture. Let's strap a woman to a bed and have her writhe in pain with no options and support and then see what happens. You know? And and then they're gonna get you to agree to anything.
Speaker 5
Yeah. And and my partner didn't like, everyone's talking, and he didn't know what to say either because we're just first time parents kinda thing. So they put the electrode in there, but then they still didn't let me get up. Like, I don't know if there's, like, the different nurses or different whatever, but still, I wasn't able to get up and turn around and
Speaker 3
move. It's because they lied.
Speaker 5
Yeah.
Speaker 3
That's it. They don't let you get up once that's in there. They just lied. They wanted to place it, and so they found a way to. You know? And people have a hard time unless you've really seen it again and again or worked in the system. People, I think, have a really hard time believing that it's that evil, but it it is.
Speaker 5
Yeah. It's just an agenda, like, the the intervention. So, like, it wasn't even that long of, like, me suffering in pain and crying and just all that stuff. And then they came back with the heart rate and, of course, you know, like, there's, like, the dips and stuff. And they're mentioning how the meconium is thickening, so it must mean that the baby is in distress or something like that. Mhmm. And then yeah. Said it like, so the doctor left, and then I don't know when, but, like, just a bit later, she comes back. She, like, comes in really fast. She's like, Kate, the baby's not happy. We have to do a c section. So it's like, okay. What choice do I have? None. So at that time, it was just like, okay. They just put me in the room, and, they gave me
Speaker 3
Was there a part of you that, like, did you believe it as it was unfolding, or was there a part of you that was like, this doesn't feel right. This isn't this doesn't make sense. This is bullshit. Or were you like, okay. Yeah. If my baby's in danger, let's do it.
Speaker 5
No. My thought wasn't if my baby's in danger, let's do it. My thought was just I just don't have a choice here because, like, who's gonna advocate right now? Because, like, I'm in so much pain. I can't even really talk. Mhmm. Yeah. And, like, my partner didn't know what to do either. So Of course. Like and the the midwife kinda just listened to the staff. She didn't really do any advocating.
Speaker 3
She's an agent of that system.
Speaker 5
Yeah.
Speaker 3
She wouldn't have. She has to be you know, because she has to be a good girl because she has to keep her relationship to that to that hospital. Okay. So you have a totally unnecessary surgical birth when you thought you were going to have this beautiful water birth in this birth center.
Speaker 5
Yeah. Like, I got the spinal. They started cutting me while my partner wasn't even in the room yet. Like, they they cut me so fast because the heart rate went down to sixty
Speaker 0
Mhmm.
Speaker 5
Because of the spinal. So everything was just rushed and a mess and Yeah. Yeah. And, like, the only thing I'm thankful of is that I was able to breastfeed pretty fast. Like, the midwife did help with that after and, like, the baby got put on my chest and that was good. Mhmm. But apart from that, it just it caused a lot of trauma and, disconnection and, yeah, like, postpartum depression.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Brutal. It's so brutal, and it's so it's so multilayered when you're in a culture where this is everyone's story. Yeah. You know? It's so it's such a complicated trauma to walk away with. So then who are you over the next three years or, I guess, two plus years at before you get pregnant again? How does that how does that birth shape you? How do you start to think about that birth? And at what point in your life does free birth come into your consciousness?
Speaker 5
Well, I I had the thought for a long time, like, like, this didn't go how I wanted and the midwives didn't do, like, what I thought they would. Like, I I guess I was naive or just I didn't know that midwives weren't like doulas. I just had the image or, like, in my head, I just thought, like, oh, I have a midwife, so I have someone who's gonna advocate and who's gonna be totally pro natural birth and stuff.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 5
So, yeah, I just saw that, okay. This is not how it is, and that's not cool. And I started learning about what a doula is, and I was like, oh, I need a doula if I'm gonna have another kid. And, I just knew, like, I wouldn't want a hospital birth for sure. Yeah. So that's where Good.
Speaker 3
Do you hear about free birth before your second pregnancy?
Speaker 5
I didn't hear about, like, the word free birth, but, funny funny enough, before I even had kids, sometimes I would just, you know, go down YouTube rabbit holes and just watch a bunch of stuff about, unassisted births. So I did watch, like, you know, a woman having a baby in her bathroom or in her bathtub. And I had a friend, she's in the States, but she posted about her birth story on Instagram. So I had watched that, and it was, at home, like, I guess, accidental unassisted birth. And I just thought it was so amazing. So, like, I didn't know it was called free birth, but I knew about people having unassisted births.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Same same. Right?
Speaker 5
Yeah.
Speaker 3
Okay. And so then do you start to like, what happens next? Do you get pregnant and then you have to figure out what you're gonna do, or do you figure out what you're gonna do and then get pregnant? Like, how how do you wind up becoming a free birthing woman?
Speaker 5
Well, I I got pregnant, like, in a purpose purposeful way. Like, I I did, like, okay. This month, I wanna conceive so that I can have the baby by this date kinda thing. And then once I was pregnant, I just knew that I want still midwives, but this time I'm gonna speak up, and this time I'm gonna take control, like, what I want. Mhmm. Well, that was my approach for the whole pregnancy. Like, oh, like, she's saying they wanna do this or they want me to have, like, one of those what do you call it? Like The hep lock? Yeah. The hep lock, you said? Okay. The IV before? Yeah. The IV. Mhmm. So there was just things that they kept telling me, like, oh, yeah. Like, we recommend that you do this and to have this. And I just kept saying, like, okay. Well, like, I don't want that and no. Like, I'm not.
Speaker 3
So you sign up for licensed registered midwifery again? Yeah. And it's with the birth center again?
Speaker 5
Yeah. One of the midwives was like, she's the same one that was in my team, and she was, like, part of the a different team.
Speaker 3
Okay. Gotcha. And so you're feeling at that point, like, I'm just gonna speak up and, therefore, even though it's the same system, I can, like, use it differently?
Speaker 5
Yeah. Like, if they say, oh, you need to do this or you need to, like, go right away. I'm just gonna be like, no. I just wanna stay or no. I just wanna try this kinda thing or, like, no. Thanks. I don't want this and that.
Speaker 3
So how does that go?
Speaker 5
So I don't remember what month or what week it was, but I had written out my, my whole birth plan in a visual way, like, with the little icons. So once I share that with the midwife, her attitude changed. She, like, she, like, brought me in a room where, I guess, the birth happens, and it's like she was giving me this presentation. Like, it wasn't just like a one on one conversation. She was just, like, standing there and presenting all the, like, risks. And Yeah. Because it's it's a VPAC, so she's saying all the, like, uterine ruptures and resuscitation and what would happen if something happened. You have to go to the hospital. The baby has to stay here or vice versa. Like, all these, like, fearmongering things.
Speaker 3
So when you spoke up about your desires, she pulled you into a dark room and fearmongered you?
Speaker 5
Yeah. Like, it it was just the the bathroom. Like, the Yeah. Like, instead of being in her her little office that we usually talk in, it's just it was just a weird thing. It's like I feel like she was doing this like, like, she's teaching a class. She's just standing there, like, just telling me all these things, and it's like, okay. Yeah. Like, I know the risks. Yeah. I know it's one in two hundred that I can have a uterine rupture and okay. Like, I get it, but my decision is still, like, I don't want this, this, this. Mhmm. Yeah. So it's just I just felt like a vibe difference with them after that. Okay. Yeah. So so at that point, I wanted a, a birth center birth. And then a few weeks later when I noticed how they were being, I decided, k. If I'm at the birth center and something happens, they're gonna just transfer me, and they're probably gonna force that. And, also, I think their birth center, the it's, like, fifty percent get transferred. Like, I just someone shared that statistics. Mhmm. So then I decided, okay. So I want a home birth. Like, so so that we can just like, we're at home. We're in our environment. That's better. At thirty, maybe thirty six weeks or something, I told them I want a home birth. And then the girl is like, oh, okay. Well, the person who does the home birth kits isn't here right now, so we'll, like, follow-up with you next week. Like, we'll let you know if we can do it. So I guess that bought them time to discuss between each other. Mhmm. And then the week after, the other midwife who I liked the first time, she is the one who is saying, like, yeah. We're not gonna we're not gonna do the home birth, and we're, like, we're actually we actually want you to or sorry. She said, we're only comfortable, for you birthing in the hospital. And, like, they they changed it where I can't give birth in the birth center now. I guess because they wanted me to like, they wanted me to go meet with an OB, like, have a consult with an OB, and I felt like, no. Like, you're trying to push me for hospital birth. So, like, once I didn't do that and I didn't, like, comply, that's when they started removing my choices. Mhmm. So
Speaker 3
And and their support. Yeah. Right? They don't they basically said, never mind. What?
Speaker 5
Like, they were kinda harsh about it. One of, one of the midwives said, if you choose to stay home, like, we're not gonna come. We can call, ambulance if you need one, but we're not gonna come.
Speaker 3
Yeah. That sounds about right. Yeah. So this happens at thirty seven weeks or so?
Speaker 5
Yeah. Around then.
Speaker 3
And who are you at that point? Are you freaking out? Are you like, what is that like?
Speaker 5
I was pretty devastated. Like, I just couldn't believe that they were, like, that like, acting that way. And then I think we had one last meeting with them to try to discuss that and just plead with them. Like, can you just let us, like, you know, do what we are asking? And then that meeting was just even more clear to me, like, that they just didn't care or they just didn't want to help, with our plans. And I just was crying during that meeting, and it's like they were just blank staring at me. So that's when I decided, like, we're just well, actually, that's not when I decided, but I was like, k. Now I'm probably just gonna later labor as long as I can at home and then go to the hospital and just, like, do what we want and just, like, tell the staff, like, kind of thing and just leave us alone. But that I don't know. That didn't really I I didn't like that idea. So that's when I started listening to your podcast. And then once I binged and listened to your podcast, like, from an evening and, like, all night long, because I started having Braxton Hicks all night, and I thought I was in labor. I just listened to your podcast all night, and that gave me the confidence like, oh, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna stay home. And that's what it like, I'm just gonna do it. Yeah. So thirty eight weeks.
Speaker 3
Oh my god. And your partner was down?
Speaker 5
Yeah. Yeah. He was down. He's like, okay. We'll do it. Yeah. So I went to the store, got, like, shower curtains, and got, like, Gatorade and just different things I needed. And I or the puppy pads, you know, the. Yeah. Yeah. So Okay.
Speaker 3
Where I'm at. So then how many more weeks are you pregnant before you go into labor?
Speaker 5
I gave birth, like, forty plus three days, forty weeks. So just You've got, like, two
Speaker 3
weeks from the time that you are like, screw it. I'm free birthing. So what is that two weeks like?
Speaker 5
It was okay, actually. I just I kinda kept it to myself. It was just me and my partner that knew our plan. I didn't tell friends or family, and I just, you know, spent time. I just, like, ate spicy soup. I just bounced on my ball and just waited, and, yeah, it was okay.
Speaker 3
How much fear were you navigating around the, you know, nonsense that they put in your head around the the risks of VBAC?
Speaker 5
I wasn't act like, there was none. Mhmm. Like, because, I just educated myself. In one of the free birth groups I was part of, they had a post where it was like a bunch of PDFs, and it was all the emergencies. So, like, I just educated myself on, like, k. What emergencies are possible? Like, shoulder dystocia or, you know, all that stuff. So I just you know? Okay. These are all the bad things that can happen, and what do we do if that happens? Not that, like, I think I can just save any risk, but we live, like, two blocks from a hospital. So if something goes wrong, we call nine one one. Yeah. So that would require
Speaker 3
that stuff is incredibly rare and even more rare in a physiological undisturbed birth.
Speaker 5
Yeah. I and and with listening to a lot of the podcast you guys had, I also realized that, like, my state of mind and my, like, my state affects a lot of the stuff. So I was like, k. As long as I'm in tune and I listen and I know, like, what's going on with my body, I'll know when to like, when if I need to call nine one one.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Alright. So tell us your birth story.
Speaker 5
Yeah. I think that the day before I went shop like, grocery shopping for, like, I walked for, like, an hour, and then I think that's when my, contractions started. And then the next day, they just continued all day just slowly. Like, all day, I just had contractions. And then at night, it started being, like, three minutes apart, and it's like, okay. This is this is it now. And then, I was pretty stressed. My daughter was still there. Like, she's three. And, my contractions started getting further apart because I'm like, oh my god. Like, my daughter is here and she wants me, and I can't. Like, I just can't. So once my mom picked her up, things started getting back, like, you know, three minutes apart. Okay. This is intense. And I called my doula who was in the states. So she's she, like, was doing virtual doula. Okay. She helped a lot because she's like, okay. This is you're, like, you're in this state and just thirty more minutes and then blah blah blah. And, like, she just kept encouraging me, and I just focus on my breath. Like, that's all I focused on the whole time. So I went it was, like, nine PM, and then I know, like, until two AM at least, I was just, like, in the bath, like, on on hands and knees with the shower on my back and just breathing. But yeah. I'm I'm happy I didn't run out of hot water.
Speaker 0
Yeah.
Speaker 5
I was in there for a long time. And my partner was sleeping, so I was just in the bathroom, just breathing and listening to meditation music. And then I think maybe around six, I probably got out. Because I like, I think I took four baths or four, showers in total. I tried to lay down on my side. That that was not cool. So I just kept staying on my hands or knees or standing. And, I think around seven, my water broke on the bed. Luckily, I had the you know, keep happening. And after my water broke, it got pretty intense, so I had to start vocalizing quite a bit. And I just remembered my doula saying, don't, like, try not to, like, scream, like, high pitch or hyperventilate when things get intense. Just try to keep things low and, like, just breathe, do your groaning. So I just did that, and that helped a lot. And then I think transition or, like, the the point where, like, I just want to give up, It was around nine thirty AM. I just was getting really uncomfortable. It it actually felt like, like a posterior like, the his face was the other way because my back my back was, like, really bad. And, yeah, nine thirty, I just was crying and, like, I tried to, like, sit on the toilet to see if it was comfortable, and it wasn't. And, at that point, I was messaging my doula saying, I just wanna go to the hospital. I just wanna have a c section just so I can get that relief of that spinal. Like, just no more pain. Yeah. Yeah. So I was just, like, talking crazy a bit, and, she encouraged me. Like like, she validated my feelings. She's like, yes. This is really hard, and this is necessary to meet your prince. If you really feel like you need to go, you can start getting your stuff ready, but just see how you feel in five minutes, and and let me know. And then, like yeah. So it took, like, twenty minutes, I think, to we started seeing the head. My my partner was like, oh, I think I saw the head. And I knew, like, k. Once the head when once we start seeing the head, it's almost time. So just forget the hospital. Forget that crazy talk. So it's like I got a second wind. Like, okay. Now this is this is the you know, let's do it. So we went to the bedroom, and I was just, like, on the bed, kinda, like, same thing on my, like, hands or I guess my hands and then my I was standing. And I just, yeah, I just kept vocalizing through each contraction. And each contraction, the head kept, like, coming. Like, you could see the head. You could see the hair, and then contraction done. The head like, the head just disappeared. So, yeah, my partner was just telling me what he was seeing, and we just kept going for, like, I think it was, like, two more hours of that. And it was my body pushing. It wasn't me actively pushing. And I remembered my doula to say, like, don't like, try not to push. Just let it happen. So I focused on that, and finally, I stood up because I felt that pressure of, like it felt like having to poop. So for gravity, like, I held on to his neck, and I just during contraction, I just had to, like, lift my head lift my feet up off the ground and just, like, hang and just let the contraction happen. So, yeah, that eventually, the head started popping out, like crown, and then another contraction. His head was completely out. And I think it took four more contractions for his body to come out. But, yeah, he came out, and he was huge. Yeah. It's like, oh, no kidding. It took so long.
Speaker 3
And how much did he weigh?
Speaker 5
Eleven pounds.
Speaker 0
Eleven pounds.
Speaker 3
I love it. You know, because a lot of women will refer to their eight and a half, nine pound, nine and a half pound babies as huge, And it's like, no. No. No. No. Eight is eight pounds is the is the North American average. So eight pounds is very, very average. Nine pounds is very, very normal. I mean, common, I should say. Of course, eleven's normal, but I just mean, now once we get into eleven pounds, now that becomes like, holy moly. You know? It's amazing. It's amazing.
Speaker 5
I was I was so thankful I was at home because I was like, had I been in the hospital, they would have C section.
Speaker 3
So They would have said you need a C section for a million different reasons. Yeah. Of course. Ugh. That's so beautiful. Yeah. And, of course, he took some time.
Speaker 5
Yeah. So, like, as soon as when he was out, I right away, like, you know, on my chest, and I started trying to let him, what's the word when they, like oh, root. Like, try to get, you know, the milk. And then we wanted to let the placenta finish pulsing. So I think we left the placenta for, like, an hour, but the placenta was still inside, actually. Yeah. So it was just for about an hour. And then, yeah, the placenta stayed in for four hours. And I just was my brain was mush. I was just in bed, and I couldn't really do much. Yeah. By that time, my mom, grandma, and daughter had come. Wow. And they were just in utter shock because they they thought we were at the hospital this whole time. Like, they had no clue what we were doing.
Speaker 3
Oh my gosh. Okay. And then was it was it, like, surprise when they came in and you
Speaker 5
just have
Speaker 3
this baby?
Speaker 5
No. Actually, after the baby came out, like, he came out and I was holding him like this, and then my partner FaceTimed my mom. So my mom saw a baby at home being or born already, and she just yelled. She's like, what? And she's like, k. We're coming right away.
Speaker 3
I don't think that that's unrelated to the placenta taking so long. I think there is a strong correlation between, basically interrupting, you know, third stage, like, you know, FaceTiming, involving new people, switching, you know, out of that that immediate, you know, state. I I hear about those stories a lot where it almost, like, scares the placenta away a little bit. So how did the placenta wind up coming out? What's that part of the story like?
Speaker 5
Like, I'm trying to remember, Like, at some point because the the cord was a bit sore, so it was just really uncomfortable to keep breastfeeding and stuff. And and I kinda needed a break at some point, like, when my mom was, there already. So I got, I was, like, texting my doula, is it okay to, like, cut the cord even though the placenta is not out? So she just showed me, like, where to cut, like, how how many inches and stuff. So I got, my partner to get scissors and the clamp and then an elastic for the second clamp, and then they cut the cord. And then, basically, I was just laying in bed. Like, I was just in bed trying to recover, and everyone was in the living room, like, with the baby. Like, I was just alone in my bed, alone in my room. Yeah. Everyone was with the baby in the living room. Don't love that. And then once in a while, when the baby, I guess, wanted to breastfeed, my partner would bring the baby, and I would try. But then it was so painful, like, with the placenta still there. Yeah. I just would cry. I felt like I was in labor again. Yeah. So I was like, no. No. Like, just just take the baby. Like, I just can't. I know. Yeah. So I don't remember much of that because it's, like, four hours went by, but I just I don't I don't think I slept, but I just was just mush. Brain mush. And then finally, what happened is I I got up to pee. So so, like, finally, I got up, and then after I peed, it just came out. Okay. Good. Yeah. So it probably was already like, had I tried to get it out before, it was probably ready, but I hadn't got up.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Exactly. And that's important for women listening because in this, like, DIY birth space that we're all, you know, in, there is there is a learning curve around the placenta for sure. I mean, around all of it, of course, always. But, you know, the placenta almost always detaches in the first hour first two hours. And so what women often don't know in in, you know, in this, yeah, kinda DIY, yeah, space as I'm calling it right now, is that the placenta often takes quite a bit of effort. And so even though it's detached most likely off the uterine lining off the uterine wall, if you think about what it must look like in there, it's like a big old jellyfish pancake, you know, sitting over a much smaller cervix. And so, yeah, pulling it out, coughing, squatting, really giving it a strong pull is very, very, very often what is needed, but women don't know that. And so I'm so glad
Speaker 5
the fear too of, like, if you pull too hard and then it, like, you know, something happens or it rips or whatever.
Speaker 1
But you can't scared of that.
Speaker 3
Trust yourself. You're not gonna you as the birthing mother are not going to hurt yourself.
Speaker 5
Yeah. Yeah. Like, no one else was trying. And I just I tugged a tiny bit, and I was like, nope. Nope. I'm not doing that. It's not ready.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm really glad it was fairly undramatic. I hate that you were abandoned in your room alone, but I'm really glad that didn't cause, you know, some sort of drama in a unnecessary transfer.
Speaker 5
Yeah. Yeah. So then, he, like, then he slept, like, so well that night, like, just so peaceful. And I think it took two days for me to realize I tore second degree. And I had heard about tears and, like, you don't really need stitches if it's not too, severe. But, yeah, there was, like, a nurse that came to my house, a public health nurse. And then she looked and she's like, oh, you have a tear. And I was like, what? I didn't tear. Like, I didn't feel it at all. But, yeah, I think five days postpartum, we went to the doctor just to check on the tear to make sure it wasn't, like, a third degree. And then the doctor was like, oh, it's it's totally fine. Like, it can it's gonna heal. Like, I I actually really like that doctor because, like, she has multiple kids, and she was very nice about our experience. She was like, oh, like, congrats. This is, like, you're so courageous. This is amazing that you did that. She wasn't, like, shaming or anything. So and it was, like, just, like a family doctor.
Speaker 6
Mhmm.
Speaker 5
So, yeah, that was the only, like, medical thing we did. Just go visit and make sure everything's okay. So you didn't
Speaker 3
get stitches?
Speaker 5
No. And, yeah, I think it was too late either either way. It was, like, too late already. Yeah. So, like, the recovery was a bit rough because it was the first vaginal birth. Mhmm. I felt like I got hit by a bus down there. Like, it just it was so painful. But, yeah, after a while and and I also belly binded, so that helped kinda keep things in and just support. Mhmm. And, yeah, it was really good, and it it, like, transformed me. Like, my it it healed that, first trauma Yeah. That experience.
Speaker 3
How would you say it transformed you?
Speaker 5
I I just think, like, before that before the that birth, I was a bit down. Like, I just you know, that trauma from the first birth was still there, and I just, I guess I didn't really believe too much in myself and stuff like that. But after that, I was like, oh my god. Like, I can do this? Like, I'm powerful, and, like, I feel like a warrior. And, just the experience itself, like, with all the breath work, it's like it was I felt like I was in a different, I don't know. Like, it it it's like my mind was in a different universe. You know? Like, it it was very deep. Mhmm. Yeah.
Speaker 3
So how would how would you say so that was three years ago. So how would you say your free birth has changed your whole life? Like, what's what what what might you wanna share that that has actually, like, manifested as transformation?
Speaker 5
It I, yeah, I think I think it changed, like, a lot about me, because, like, I just noticed that, when cry like, when there's, like, times of crisis, I I do really well, like, under pressure and you know? Because it's like nothing is as intense as what I went through with the birth. So, like, this is fine. Like, I I went through some stuff, like, stuff that's really hard, and I just coped well. And, I'm, like, really good with going back to that breath because, you know, I I I think I did fourteen hours of breath work with the birth. So anytime there's something hard, I just I do really well, and that's, like, huge compared to before. So
Speaker 3
it's taught you perseverance and strength and
Speaker 5
Yeah. And just, I advocate for myself in, like, all situations now. I I have my voice. Before, like, I was too shy to speak up about stuff. Mhmm. But now it's like, if if there's, injustice of something, like, I'm not scared to speak up.
Speaker 3
Okay. So, yeah, anything else you'd like to share to wrap up wrap up your story?
Speaker 5
Just just that that the experience was so powerful and changed my whole life. And, I did end up getting out of the, like, the union I was in. Just it just wasn't the right one for me, and, I feel like the experience helped me see see that clearer. So, yeah, I'm just now it's just me and the kids, and, you know, I I'm doing good.
Speaker 3
Good. Well, thank you for your time, and thank you for your, yeah, willingness to tell your story.
Speaker 5
Thank you.
Speaker 2
And that's it for today, my sisters. Check out everything we do, including one on one and group coaching. Learn about our private membership, in person retreats, and more on free birth society dot com. Our online courses are on free birth society courses dot com, including our flagship course, the complete guide to free birth. Don't miss the radical birth keeper school if you're ready to become the authentic midwife that women are searching for. Together we rise and the revolution starts inside each of us. I'll leave you with our Freebird Society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 6
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored. Eons upon light beams of survival, withstanding, the eradication of our power by design. I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging our babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons all your poison. We reject your fear, we choose love, everything with intention, death, ascension, I will fly and bring her back to the star.
