00:00:06:00 - 00:00:41:04
Unknown
Into the wild and go into the wild, I am. It's been a while. Freedom, child, since I left my roots back home into I don't go into the wild I had. It's been a wild freedom child since I left my roots back home. Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood and beyond.
00:00:41:06 - 00:01:01:00
Unknown
Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative. We'll explore the politics of birth and will analyze everything that relates to our lives as women. From a feminist perspective, here's your host, Emilee Saldaya. Wild freedom check.
00:01:01:02 - 00:01:11:12
Unknown
Saints have left my room bare home.
00:01:11:14 - 00:01:35:22
Unknown
Oh, women, have you heard? The show is coming to Austin, Texas. Join me Saturday, November 16th for the first ever live recording of the Free Birth Society podcast. We'll have an amazing guest tell us her truly wild Texan free birth story, plus a tell all Q&A with me. It will all be emceed by the epic Austin beloved local Devon May.
00:01:36:03 - 00:01:54:13
Unknown
An actual evening of hanging out with free birthing women basking in story medicine. Yes, please make it a date night or come with your besties. It's going to be so fun! Tickets are on sale now. Go grab yours and then come hug me in real life. Link for tickets are in the show notes. I'll see you soon. All right.
00:01:54:13 - 00:02:26:18
Unknown
Welcome. I Sabah peace. Thank you. In here. Calling in from New Orleans. Yes, I'm here from New Orleans. San Francisco originally. But I do have New Orleans roots. How long have you been living there? It's been almost 14 years. Oh, a long time. Yeah, it's been since college. Yeah. So have you had all of your five children in New Orleans?
00:02:26:20 - 00:03:02:15
Unknown
Yes. Okay. Yes. All right. So you've got quite the story to tell with five, five berths. So take us to the beginning. Who are you before you become a mom? And what do you do with your first birth? And then you'll just kind of take us through how that shapes the remaining stories. Okay, so from California came out here on an academic scholarship and met my husband within a year of being here.
00:03:02:17 - 00:03:35:22
Unknown
My person was plant based and on a health journey, getting into grounding, getting into meditation. You know, studying all things spirituality, basically. And met my husband and he was into all those things on a deeper level. So we conceived very early into our relationship. We conceived our daughter and.
00:03:36:00 - 00:03:40:01
Unknown
It was a spiritual thing.
00:03:40:03 - 00:04:11:19
Unknown
I had no knowledge of home birth, like no knowledge of home birth. I did have an awareness about pregnancy outside the system. Yeah. It wasn't. Yeah. So it was. It wasn't even, like a word for it or whatever. It was just really like, I have family members that have a lot of kids, and I've seen people be pregnant and not go to the doctor.
00:04:11:20 - 00:04:38:08
Unknown
Totally. So that was very like that was a concept. I didn't know what it was, but I was just like, we just don't be pregnant and live our life. And, so, you know, I had an awareness about that. So I'm in this plant based pregnancy, with my first child. And basically I saw an OB for the first time and men, her just didn't connect.
00:04:38:09 - 00:05:00:00
Unknown
We just didn't have a connection. And at the end of that first appointment, which I had started seeing her like, maybe it was like later than what people would usually go when they're first pregnant, you know? And oh, backstory, I had had two abortions in high school as well. And so I had done a dance with pregnancy already.
00:05:00:00 - 00:05:21:12
Unknown
But when I met my husband and we conceived, I knew I had already made a commitment to myself that I wasn't going that route again. And we loved each other. And I was like, okay, we're going to do this. And he was so excited because my husband is four years older than me. So it was like, even though I was like in college, he was like, let's do this, you know?
00:05:21:12 - 00:05:44:01
Unknown
So we did it. And so I didn't have a connection with the provider. And at the end of the appointment, she was like, I want to refer you to these midwives. And I was like, okay, like, what would that mean? You know, and she was telling me about them and I was like, okay. So I didn't know if they were like hospital midwives.
00:05:44:03 - 00:06:05:05
Unknown
I didn't know anything. And so that was that. I got referred to the midwives, I saw them, and there was an interesting thing that I couldn't really point my hand, put my hands on until really in the last few years, because my daughter is about to be 11. But in the last few years, I realized they were grooming me in my pregnancy.
00:06:05:05 - 00:06:32:07
Unknown
Whenever I did show up to see them, they would tell me no attachments, no aversions. That was a common theme that the midwives there were like two of them at the time. They would tell me that, you know, throughout the care and one of them more than the other. But it was like this thing they would say, and, basically the midwives, I didn't know that they were like in the hospital, like, so it was so much stuff I didn't know.
00:06:32:07 - 00:06:52:00
Unknown
And I had ended up meeting a community doula who my husband was connected to her husband some type of way. So I met her and we were working together and it was beautiful. And then she moved and she put me on with someone else. So when she put me on with someone else, it was like it was beautiful.
00:06:52:00 - 00:07:15:10
Unknown
Me and the sister had a connection, but it was just like within a couple of weeks I was having my baby. Yeah. So it was just. And she lived around the corner for me, so it was cool. But it was also like we couldn't do much. And she had multiple children and had her own life. So basically with that, the midwives were grooming me, for sabotage basically.
00:07:15:10 - 00:07:41:06
Unknown
And I ended up like missing a bunch of appointments, starting to go more at the end. And they wanted to do the, the, the, the membrane sweep. Basically, I went I went to 42 with my first, and so I ended up getting induced, I got induced with, I believe it was either sidle tech or server deal.
00:07:41:07 - 00:07:54:08
Unknown
It was one of the two. And from that one, one is a pill that you take orally and then one is placed in your vagina. So that'd be how you could know if you remember.
00:07:54:10 - 00:08:15:16
Unknown
11 years ago, I think it was the one that was placed in my vagina. That's. Yeah, I think it was servidor. And then we went to Pettersen. Mind you, I didn't even know. So they were just telling me. Oh, it's just an induction. I'm doing everything to get this baby out. Me like, everything. Because I'm like, I knew I didn't want an induction, you know?
00:08:15:18 - 00:08:40:03
Unknown
And so. But nothing ever came to me like, oh, you can just stay at home, you know? And so went through all of that, got an induction, at 42. And when I look back at my medical records, it's interesting because I guess she was breached. She had meconium and, yeah, she was breaching, she had meconium or whatever.
00:08:40:03 - 00:08:58:17
Unknown
But I remember them trying to move me with the, with the fabric. They were trying to move me to get her in some type of position or whatever, but they never told me in my labor she was breech. And so, you know, it was an interesting labor. There was a lot going on in my life at that moment.
00:08:58:18 - 00:09:25:11
Unknown
I mean, even when I was in college, it was like being at a Catholic university, at Catholic HBCU, being pregnant as a dorm student, having to figure out me and my husband's housing because we weren't living together yet. You know, it was just a lot. And, you know, they I do feel sabotaged, but I also take responsibility for, like, I had a lot of shit going on to, you know, but they also they didn't tell me a lot of things.
00:09:25:11 - 00:09:51:20
Unknown
And there is a lot of things like the, the multi-part induction, the level of like, involvement that hospital staff has when you're birthing in, even when you're with midwives birthing in, in the hospital, like, it's like it's still a hospital birth, you know, and like, even me not knowing until like they literally told me like maybe a week before I had her like, so yeah, we're on the hospital floor.
00:09:51:20 - 00:10:14:03
Unknown
On this floor in the hospital across three. I'm thinking I'm going to some type of like house or something different, you know, because they weren't in the hospital. Their appointments were in this like little thing where they had couches and candles and incense going. And, you know, it was it was nice. It was plants. It was blankets in there like it felt it felt chill.
00:10:14:03 - 00:10:44:23
Unknown
And then so I found out, oh, I'm going to the hospital. That's all. I was like, so messed up. It's so dark, the smoke and mirrors of medical midwifery and like, that's literally intentional trickery. It's intentional. It's so manipulative. And I get that. Yeah, it takes two to tango. Like you weren't asking the right questions, okay. But also you are in the inferior position of the hierarchy.
00:10:44:23 - 00:11:09:04
Unknown
And just I mean, I'm a broken record. The lack of transparency, the intentional lack of transparency with medical midwifery is really, really unethical. Right? And I was being silenced. Like I said, they would tell me no attachments, no aversions. When I would ask questions, I remember them being like, is your baby daddy going to be at your birth?
00:11:09:04 - 00:11:32:13
Unknown
And I never even though we weren't, we weren't spiritually married or legally married at the time. But like we had a soul connection and we loved each other. So that was offensive to me because I'm like, why are y'all addressing him like that for one? And for two, like, why wouldn't he be at my birth? Like, why do you just assume that he's not going to be there?
00:11:32:14 - 00:11:56:17
Unknown
And also, why don't you calling him your partner, right, exactly. Yeah. And so, you know, there were things, you know, these were not midwives of color. That was another factor in it. But one of the midwives I did like, but it look the way things played out, she wasn't the one that was that was really working with me too much, you know, like she she had other things she had to do.
00:11:56:17 - 00:12:17:16
Unknown
I guess she wasn't on call. So my first birth ended up okay. So I get all the way to seven centimeters dilated. I end up cracking and getting the epidural, which I did not want. No epidural, did not want the induction. Like I didn't want any of that shit. And right after that, my baby's heart rate hit the ground.
00:12:17:19 - 00:12:46:23
Unknown
Emergency C-section? No. Yeah. So that was my emergency. She ended up being 9 pounds, five ounces. Like I said, I'm in breech. So from there, I remember I remember the midwife telling me like as shit is going down, like white coats are flying in, like my mom's crying. Like my husband doesn't know what the fuck to do. She's like, I'm going to make sure you get a C-section to where you can have a vaginal birth in the future.
00:12:47:00 - 00:13:12:20
Unknown
Like, I'm going to make sure you get a favorable incision and stuff like that. God. So, you know, I go that route, I get the C-section because, you know, that's what they said I had to get or whatever. And, you know, she's born. It's it's I mean, I literally was knocked out and woke up screaming, like, that's all I remember is waking up screaming, trying to figure out where my baby was because I was feeling my son.
00:13:12:20 - 00:13:32:12
Unknown
Guys like, I don't have a baby in me. Where is my baby? So I'm like screaming, screaming, screaming. And then, you know, people come in and they're like, calm down. You know, we're going to get your baby. We're going to get your baby. So I did end up breastfeeding her exclusively. I did have to pump for school, but I mean, I never supplemented or anything like that.
00:13:32:12 - 00:14:06:09
Unknown
I went back to school, I had her October. I went back to school in January. And so, you know, that was that. And then that was very depressing. That was a very dark time for me to plan a natural birth and, you know, to not get one, basically. And breastfeeding was the hardest thing on a cesarean. And I, you know, I understand why women with C-sections don't make it through because it's like it's like you're fighting for your own life.
00:14:06:10 - 00:14:31:12
Unknown
You like literally my mom, my mom stayed with me for about a week or two after she was born, because my mom was there for a month before the baby came. That first grandbaby, she was super excited, so she was there. And basically with that, my mom was doing everything for my baby. All she would do is bring me to my baby to breastfeed, and I'm so lucky that that didn't fucking my supply.
00:14:31:12 - 00:14:54:07
Unknown
I'm just a milk maker like I really am. And I know that the body is designed to breastfeed, but also I have a lot, you know, and so but my mom had her and I didn't plan for it to be like that, but I was fucked up, I really was. And yeah, that's what it was. So then we do you do you.
00:14:54:09 - 00:15:21:03
Unknown
What's the right word like understand when you when you reference your emergency C-section like do you get what happened. Oh yeah I always knew. Yeah I always knew that they did that. I always knew that it was a byproduct of the of the interference. And, you know, I knew that my baby was signed. Honestly, I always think back and be like, I really could have had my child at home.
00:15:21:03 - 00:15:42:05
Unknown
Like, I just literally I'll explain it as we get to the next birth. But like, really that type of stuff was gate cap here. So like it's like people have been doing it, but if you don't know the people or if they don't feel like you're ready, you won't know. That's how it is. But New Orleans is very like like people are doing it.
00:15:42:06 - 00:16:16:11
Unknown
You know, the whole gatekeeping thing is an interesting concept when we talk about a biological act because, like, in a way, we could I could argue that it's impossible to keep a biological act because no one can keep your own biology. Biology. Right, right. On the other side, of course, we could argue that if your consciousness does not see it as a possibility, right, then it almost isn't right.
00:16:16:12 - 00:16:46:16
Unknown
Right? There. Still always right. Because birth happens, like, you know, everywhere in every way. But yeah, it's a really interesting concept because it is so social. It is so the parts that are gate kept are intellectual. Right? Right. Yeah. So, so yeah, I just wanted to name that because yeah, you definitely you clearly get it. And for anyone who this is maybe their first podcast, you know, just to be clear, she used the term emergency C-section.
00:16:46:16 - 00:17:07:11
Unknown
But what she's saying and please correct me if I'm off here. But what she's saying is it was manufactured, so she, she, she was having a normal pregnancy, has a normal, healthy baby. But an emergency was manufactured primarily from the pitocin, which is incredibly dangerous to be using on an unborn fetus and on a on a woman's womb.
00:17:07:11 - 00:17:36:00
Unknown
And so what really commonly happens in an induction is that the the woman is put through a really intensely high amount of pharmaceutical drugs that force contractions, that then deprive the baby of rest and restoration and oxygen replenishment. And so then the then the baby who will be on monitors via the mother will they will notice d cells or and dangerous, you know, low low D cells.
00:17:36:01 - 00:18:01:03
Unknown
And then the woman is rushed into air quotes emergency C-section. But the so often women walk away being like oh shit. Like I, me and my baby couldn't give birth. And you know, your story is such a, you know, painfully classic one where it wasn't that at all. You know, you never got the chance to have it. No.
00:18:01:05 - 00:18:21:07
Unknown
You know, and so I knew that part of me, like it was like the part I didn't share is my daughter was born two days after my 21st birthday. I spent my 21st birthday crying, moping because it was like I knew that if I went into that hospital and got an addiction, I was going to have a C-section.
00:18:21:07 - 00:18:57:00
Unknown
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00:18:57:03 - 00:19:29:10
Unknown
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00:19:29:12 - 00:19:55:10
Unknown
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00:19:55:16 - 00:20:44:21
Unknown
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00:20:45:02 - 00:21:13:07
Unknown
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00:21:13:07 - 00:21:42:19
Unknown
You need to know let's be the ones that steer our bloodlines toward embodiment once and for all. And so I was like going through it. But it was like, you know, not seeing like, oh, you can stay at home like you. There's other options other than, you know, doing this route. So basically that experience, oh, when I was pregnant, I fell into all things birth, all things natural birth.
00:21:42:19 - 00:22:18:06
Unknown
So I knew that I was switching from psych to bio pre-med to get on track to go to nursing school and become a midwife. Right. Because I'm thinking that's the only way to be to become a fucking midwife. Okay, so I started getting on that track quickly, learn that, you know, just in undergrad, not even, you know, going to that next level, but like, oh, no, like, I'm not interested in all of this and I don't think it has to be all of this.
00:22:18:08 - 00:22:52:02
Unknown
We conceive my son. I guess that was April of the following year. So my daughter was like one and like two months or three months or four months, something like that. She was like one and some months because when, when she was born, when he was born, she had just made two. So basically we conceived him and I found the only black doctor in the city, this this doctor is.
00:22:52:04 - 00:23:27:09
Unknown
She's a lot. She's alive. She's not even practicing no more. But it was interesting because her backstory was that she had multiple C-sections and she never got the opportunity to be back. So her work started with really helping women do this in the medical system. But she experienced the dead baby, and, you know, she went through some shit, and she was she experienced a lot of black balling, which made her super paranoid and crazy, which I could see, you know, in that system.
00:23:27:09 - 00:23:52:03
Unknown
And so basically, I worked with her long ass doctor's appointments. They convinced me that. And I believed it, that I had to do all these things, which I wasn't even doing in my first pregnancy. It was really like I remember doing the glucose text through eating, eating, like, all this food and then getting tested like I did alternative things.
00:23:52:03 - 00:24:10:02
Unknown
I didn't go to all the appointments. So with this pregnancy, now, because I'm a person who is high risk, you know, they play those games. I'm doing all the things that, you know, they're saying that I need to do to have this vaginal birth because I'm just like, I just need to I just need to have a vaginal birth, you know?
00:24:10:03 - 00:24:38:00
Unknown
And so, I did everything, I did everything. And ultimately I ended up what I had an induction at 41 weeks. So I do like my babies stay. They and they they'd be perfectly fine. But they they they do what they do. And, for her, it was like for me to have a be back with her. I have to have my baby by 41 weeks, you know?
00:24:38:01 - 00:25:10:12
Unknown
So fucked. Because running a womb through an induction after surgery. I mean, not only is suction what led to surgery the first time, but then of of womb that's, you know, somewhat freshly post-operative. I mean, a year and a half is not that long. Or you said two years was your was your daughter. And then to put that through that trauma and pharmaceutical induction like so dangerous.
00:25:10:13 - 00:25:41:17
Unknown
Okay. So then what happens. So I ended up going in and I mean I it started on of course they did the Foley and then it fell right out. They put the Pettersen I0I did have a, I did have a doula and she was amazing. She's actually a close friend of mine. And ironically this is so crazy. And I told her this recently, I was like, why you didn't tell me?
00:25:41:19 - 00:26:02:19
Unknown
But anyway, I'll get back to that part. So my doula was a back mom. She had her first C-section and then she home birth with a midwife. And I remember meeting her mid pregnancy, but she was moving. And then I ran into her again at the end of my pregnancy, and she hadn't moved yet. And so it was just so beautiful.
00:26:02:19 - 00:26:20:05
Unknown
We were at a doctor, Saby, God rest his soul, but we were at his like lecture here in New Orleans. And I ran into her and she was still here. So she was like, I can work with you. But I had known her birth story because we had discussed it. And then we get to the end of pregnancy.
00:26:20:05 - 00:26:43:12
Unknown
And, you know, I'm stressed out because, you know, they trying to induce me. And I ended up getting the induction, and she comes with me to the induction. And I mean, literally, I tell everybody I felt like I was dying the maximum amount of and she's arguing with nurses. She's moving their hands like, but every time they're pushing it up, they're pushing it.
00:26:43:12 - 00:27:04:15
Unknown
I had the maximum amount of in dose induction, I mean and by the end with no epidural, with no pain medication and and I felt like I was dying, I had an out-of-body experience. I was speaking in tongues, and I felt like I was being lifted, like I had to go. I had to go out of my physical body because I couldn't be there and get through that.
00:27:04:15 - 00:27:34:22
Unknown
And I went and I came back and it was time to push him out. And they telling me, wait, because the doctor ain't there. Yeah. So but you know, you you can't really do that like that. I mean some women I hear that, that they have. But like how long did that really last. So she ended up getting in there and, put my foot in the stirrups and I'm on my back because she's telling me that she has back problems and she can't.
00:27:34:23 - 00:27:57:09
Unknown
But all through my pregnancy, she was telling me that I could burp him in however I wanted to. But then she talking about she got back problems and it's not going to work for her. So I'm I'm on the bed with my feet up. He was eight, 12, second degree paramilitary. They shot me with some type of light of cane or something in my yoni so that she could so it up.
00:27:57:09 - 00:28:15:14
Unknown
But he came out. He he flew out, she said. She said you could have easily burned out A95 baby. I said clearly like because she, she was they they always made it seem like it was size. Like your baby would have never came out of here. And so when he came out, she was like, that was the thing.
00:28:15:14 - 00:28:36:16
Unknown
They would always be measuring me and, you know, doing that, like, if this baby gets too big and it was like he he flew out. It's all because I was on my back, not because he was big. When we get to the first home birth story, y'all gonna know why I'm saying that. But basically, yeah. So I, I tore, because I was pushing him out on my back.
00:28:36:17 - 00:29:08:06
Unknown
I was going through coach pushing, and, you know, then I breastfed him. That first like that first, however many hours that was. And then, you know, the bullshit starts. So my, my son is jaundice and he has high Billy Reuben levels. And because of the high levels, they didn't they were claiming they didn't have the option of your baby going under the lights, in the room.
00:29:08:06 - 00:29:30:22
Unknown
So they took him to the to the nurse, the NICU, the well, baby nursery, whatever. They that if they took him there. I'm having to go back and forth on on on a sewed up yoni to breastfeed him. I'm catching him with formula under the thing they saying they're not giving it to him, that they just want to have it there, just in case he end up needing it.
00:29:30:22 - 00:29:52:08
Unknown
Because I'm not producing enough. But I'm a milk maker, so I'm like, I'm going to produce enough. But it was so stressful. Like I started pumping from the second day, took my baby, and then they released me. They gave me one extra day and then they moved me. They gave me one extra day in the hospital. They moved me to like, a whole different floor than where my baby was.
00:29:52:09 - 00:30:20:15
Unknown
And they let me say their extra day. And then they released me and let my baby and made my baby stay. So with that, basically, I was, I was at the I was my, my baby was in the hospital for two days without me. And I was just I was just pumping, taking a nap, driving to the hospital, staying as long as they could before they put me out, then going back home, pumping again, taking a little nap, driving to the hospital.
00:30:20:15 - 00:30:48:05
Unknown
And I just was. I was really tore up, you know, I was just I really, really hope women hearing this are are hearing this and realizing that they cannot go to the hospital here. You know, like, I really hope that if you think you should go to the hospital and you think this won't happen to you, like get your head straight, this happened all the time, right?
00:30:48:06 - 00:31:10:20
Unknown
Because even if you get that unicorn, oh, nothing happened. I just my baby just came out like my, my, my back was straight forward. But here come the shenanigans in postpartum. Like it? You cannot escape it. You cannot escape it. And so call your birth straightforward, right? Right. It was full. You felt like you were dying and had to disassociate.
00:31:10:21 - 00:31:32:01
Unknown
Like that's so hardcore. I mean, it's a torture. It's a torture chamber, right? I mean, like, he just he came out, you know what I'm saying? You know what? Well, he was he was forced out. But I had him visually, you know, and I didn't have I like our bar is so low. Low I know, I mean, obviously you've raised your bar significant.
00:31:32:02 - 00:31:58:15
Unknown
Of course. Obviously. Of course. Sit down. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah. So you're now in the NICU hellscape of of now they've medically kidnaped your baby. Yeah, yeah. Medical kidnaping. And I had to do what I had to do to get them out. And so, you know, I did the pumping. I was seeing that there was only 2 to 3 nurses, and there would be, like, 12 babies.
00:31:58:15 - 00:32:22:06
Unknown
And it was like, when I'm coming in, my baby is screaming, which I feel like has definitely impacted his personality today. And, you know, one day I'll tell him what happened. But I definitely feel like all the things that were done to him, the lights, you know, the the screaming for long periods of time because me being in there, they kept putting me out because I was watching them.
00:32:22:08 - 00:32:46:14
Unknown
I'm seeing you guys cannot handle this many babies. You guys are overworked. And then some, like, there might be one nurse that's in there that's new, that's happy. That lovely. She does. But the other two people is ready to go home. Yeah. And just imagine a new postpartum mom. It's. You struggle sometimes with your own baby. This woman is dealing with three for somebody else's babies.
00:32:46:15 - 00:33:09:10
Unknown
And so, you know, I was just like, this is just. This is child abuse. Like, you guys are taking people's children under the under the medical advisement of this and that, but you guys are abusing these babies, you know? And so after that, I was like, I'm never giving birth in a hospital again. Fast forward, here comes my third baby.
00:33:09:10 - 00:33:27:09
Unknown
I'm like, I done got this me back. Like, I'm good. I'm not doing this no more. I know my my Dula didn't have a baby at home. Her midwife don't practice. But we're going to figure this out. Like, because I'm not going back here. So all my babies are two years apart up until this fifth one. So, you know, year and a half pregnant again.
00:33:27:10 - 00:33:56:22
Unknown
Alright, so with this baby, I was planning a home birth. I had a, I had a birth attendant, unlicensed midwife. And that was at the end though. So in the beginning I started off seeing, I knew I was birthing at home, but I did start off seeing a hospital midwife to get prenatal care. Doesn't it go so deep?
00:33:57:00 - 00:34:17:13
Unknown
Yes, I was, I was seeing her and I was getting prenatal care, and it was weird because it was like I was denying everything. When I think back, I'm like, why was I even there? And she was making it. It was okay. It was a different it was a different hospital midwife. But still it's she was a hospital midwife and she was cool.
00:34:17:13 - 00:34:39:06
Unknown
And again, everything's good. You don't have to do this. We get to the end of pregnancy. I didn't do I didn't know what my baby's gender was. I didn't do the the ultrasounds or any, like, I didn't do any of that. And so basically she was she told me she was like, I talked about you to the board.
00:34:39:06 - 00:35:01:08
Unknown
She was like, I work with a board. And they're basically saying, based on everything that, you know, I'm telling them, like, and you not coming to this ultrasound that she told me I didn't have to do, it was like, it's your choice. It's whatever. I have to release you of care. But that's at 37 weeks. But your body, your choice.
00:35:01:09 - 00:35:25:15
Unknown
Like informs girlfriend, informed consent, baby friendly hospital. I mean, I might have been 38 weeks pregnant, so I'm like, well, I mean, what a blessing. What? Yeah. So I had a backup plan. So I had someone in community that I was working with and basically I wasn't I wasn't seeing her like that. But I would like, you know, we were working together or whatever.
00:35:25:15 - 00:35:45:21
Unknown
And so, you know, the parallel care also. That's what I should share it. She, she was she was happy with that. And so that was what it was. I was getting parallel care and the lady released me a care. And I was just like, whatever. Because I got this person in my back pocket. I was never coming to birth with you anyway.
00:35:45:21 - 00:36:29:04
Unknown
But I was also like, this is fucked up, because what if I was, you know? And so she transferred me. She transferred me to an OB. I mean, also let me just say, not just that, but you are so primed for CPS involvement, right? That's you are true. Your case is you were one. Assuming your story doesn't go here because I don't know it, but assuming it doesn't, you are one shitty person's flagging you away from from really experiencing a whole new level of I mean, with my son, that that's what it was like.
00:36:29:05 - 00:36:48:08
Unknown
They kept threatening me because, you know, it's like they they know I'm playing bass. They know I'm not vaccinating. They know my other kid, like, because I had already birthed in the hospital before. So they already know. They know my kid isn't getting a name like they know all these things. So it's like at this point it's on my record to where I'm a problem for them.
00:36:48:13 - 00:37:21:01
Unknown
So, you know, basically with her, she transferred me to a Gyn that happened to be she transferred me to the ob gyn. That was the ob gyn from my son. So it was it was like a, you know, like a transfer like that. And basically with my back. And so I had a dream that I had a still birth, someone that I knew had had a still birth, and I did some spiritual work around it.
00:37:21:03 - 00:37:57:05
Unknown
And the readings that came up were that there were some unforeseen circumstances, that would be hard to deal with in a hospital, I mean, in a home situation. And so after those dreams and the the spiritual work that I did, I ended up going to the hospital to give birth. That's a shift. Okay. So I ended up going to the hospital with her to give birth, which was completely not the plan.
00:37:57:07 - 00:38:20:00
Unknown
But it is what what happened? And so with that. But do you really feel like that was spirit guided or just fear? Well, well, let me when I get to the end of it, of what happened, you know, I mean, we'll kind of see. Yeah. So because I still I still I still tussle with if she would have made it or not.
00:38:20:00 - 00:38:48:09
Unknown
So basically, the doctor that I was working with, it was like she had some type of surgery going on again, hurt it to where she was like, the only way that you're going to be able to birth here? Oh, one of the one of the things the first time I've ever had something come up in pregnancy I had from from because I wouldn't, I wouldn't do the where I eat and I let the midwife test me and I wouldn't do the glucose stuff.
00:38:48:09 - 00:39:11:22
Unknown
And she was like, well, give me something. So I'm like, I'm willing to monitor my own. I had two readings that were, like high like, well, no, it wasn't just two. It was two days worth of readings that were high. And then I started, monitoring my own glucose levels through diet. And they were normal. They were normal through the rest of the time or whatever.
00:39:11:22 - 00:39:36:03
Unknown
But she she put it down on paperwork because she, she took pictures of all of my, all of my, all of my chart ins, of my glucose and everything, which was hell, monitoring and shit. But she took she took pictures of it and put that in her chart. And so they put me down as borderline gestational diabetes, which was the first time for that for me.
00:39:36:05 - 00:39:59:04
Unknown
And so that and that was my only thing that had ever came up in any of my pregnancies. And so once she put me down for that, that, that OBGYN she transferred me to had personal things going on. And with that, she was like, you have to be induced. So I was manufactured again. It wasn't a real no, just bullshit.
00:39:59:05 - 00:40:25:04
Unknown
Yeah. Bullshit. Exactly. So I ended up getting induced at 39 weeks. Lord God induced at 39 weeks. Came in to an ultrasound at the 39 week induction. And she was like, if your baby's measuring over over eight and a half pounds, we're going to do a C-section. And I'm like, but I had an 812 baby with you two years ago.
00:40:25:04 - 00:40:42:22
Unknown
And she was like, well, based on all of this. And so my baby wasn't measuring. My baby was like measuring right on her nose. She ended up being seven seven, but she was she was measuring at like eight and a half. So, you know, a pound, two, three, 4 pounds off whatever. And so basically she was within that range.
00:40:42:22 - 00:41:07:10
Unknown
So they started the induction. And we're in the induction, the induction, like I'm, I'm feeling the waves, but I'm not feeling, like the way I felt them before. So I knew something was off at one point. But when we came in, my baby's head was down, you know? And so midway through labor, my baby flipped transverse.
00:41:07:10 - 00:41:32:02
Unknown
I was, they say I was seven centimeters dilated. My baby flip transverse, which where your baby is can always, you know, like it can always change when once you push your baby out, that's when it really matters how your baby is. But. So she flipped transverse. That was heartbreaking. You know, they rushed in. What's going on? We lost our way due to the they put the ultrasound on because they couldn't figure it out.
00:41:32:03 - 00:42:03:02
Unknown
They're like, oh she's transverse. So they are like, you know we're going to have to section this baby out because she she was like, she couldn't do I was pushing I was pushing for I was pushing for a inversion not knowing I now I've seen one to know how like whoa like never. But at the time I'm like, if this what is going to take to get my baby out?
00:42:03:03 - 00:42:26:04
Unknown
Inversion suction. Like, do it. You know, I'm like, just I want to I want to birth, you know, I don't want to be cut. And so yeah, basically that did not happen. And I went in the bathroom, I did all these, you know, all these movements to try to flip my baby, do all of that because I had known in pregnancy, this baby, this is my smallest baby.
00:42:26:04 - 00:42:48:00
Unknown
I could feel it. But also she she would move a lot. She would like, move her position a lot. So I had no you know, she had done that. But she did it in labor so ended up in babies move like that's that's the reality. But she ended up flipping and when she flipped that was he section.
00:42:48:00 - 00:43:11:05
Unknown
They wasn't willing to do the other things. When when she was born, she ended up having, of elements caught insertion. So some people say besides the transverse part, clearly you can't push a baby out. That's transverse. But she might not have been transverse if I was having her at home. No, you know, no interruptions and all of that.
00:43:11:05 - 00:43:33:14
Unknown
But that's what she was in that situation. So that was the cause of the C-section, you know, on paper. And so when she was born, she had a court insertion to that for people who don't know what that is. So basically the the vessels, the like, the, the vessels, the way they were inserted, they were like broken.
00:43:33:15 - 00:44:07:20
Unknown
They were well, they were inserted. I have a picture of it. They were inserted like into the side of her placenta of her one, like they weren't like all the way in the middle. And then like the vessels, the, the Wharton's jelly that covers the vessels were not like covering it. And they were like very, very like thin, like it was like almost like if, if like I guess, like if a wave hit, hit the baby like hit hit and, you know, the baby's trying to make its way down the birth canal, you know, the cord could separate from the placenta.
00:44:07:20 - 00:44:37:04
Unknown
And so, you know, I've now heard of situations where, you know, women have had an intact birth without experiencing that, you know, without experiencing the worst possible scenario of that. But it can be a bad situation. Yeah. And that's part of why, you know, there is a bag of fluids that holds the baby right to, to, to bolster the, the safety and protection of the baby.
00:44:37:05 - 00:45:00:11
Unknown
You know, most undisturbed berths, women report that the waters don't open till the end, which I think is interesting in terms of protecting the baby, not to suggest that your baby is unprotected if their waters are open. I'm not saying it like that, but there is an element of obvious protection for the baby to be sitting in her waters.
00:45:00:12 - 00:45:21:19
Unknown
Yeah. So what you what you tussle with around her? Her life is the transverse piece. Yeah, the transverse piece. And, you know, just her being born and and you know, her being like like this was, she was like, you know, I seen a lot of shit. She was like, but this because she's like, she the doctor was a black woman.
00:45:21:19 - 00:45:44:03
Unknown
So we we we we talked, you know, she was like, I've seen a lot of shit, but yeah, like this, this was some shit. That's what she. She felt like. It was like a, you know, a situation that is like concern, you know? And so when I look back, I feel like if if I had stayed home, things would have been fine.
00:45:44:03 - 00:46:14:12
Unknown
But based on me going into the hospital, based on the dream that I had in the spiritual guidance that I got as a result of the dream, you know, I had an induction and, you know, that's they they weren't willing to do the things for me to birth her there, you know. So that was that situation. And so I was really depressed depression that I felt like that was my worst C-section.
00:46:14:12 - 00:46:40:02
Unknown
That second one was like it was life, like it shattered me. It broke me down. It, you know, I really experienced postpartum depression. Like, I remember having a friend come over right after I had my baby. Like, probably like within a day or two of getting home or whatever, something like that. And I just the second I seen her face, I just started crying, like.
00:46:40:02 - 00:47:11:17
Unknown
But it was like for me to, like, not be doing all the prenatal care and for me to, like, have to look at my home birth supplies and like, you know, for me to think about, you know, like feeling like I had to choose between the, the safety of my baby and my own desires and like, and I also battle with feeling like was I selfish for still feeling like I still wanted a home birth?
00:47:11:17 - 00:47:40:08
Unknown
Like in terms of, in terms of like even after everything feeling like I wanted a home birth at the cost of her life, like, because now look at what potentially not saying that it would have been that, but if I had stayed home and something had happened or whatever, but still like that over, like now I'm sitting here, I can't do shit like I got these hemorrhoids is hemorrhoids like I'm bleeding in two areas, like.
00:47:40:09 - 00:47:58:12
Unknown
And then I didn't even tell you. So whatever medication they gave me because I didn't have a medication throughout the induction part. But once they was like, you know, we're going to give you a C-section. They had to give me something. I had an allergic reaction to the medication they gave me. So after having her, I could not stop itching.
00:47:58:12 - 00:48:20:19
Unknown
So then they had to give me another medication on top of that to stop the itching. Then when I get home, my my incision gets an infections. Yeah. I mean the itching is a is a very common symptom of narcotics. You know, when you crackheads itching like the narcotics cause most like from I've seen a lot of C-sections.
00:48:20:19 - 00:48:28:20
Unknown
And I mean, in a way you could call it an allergic reaction, okay. I mean, the story is what it is, but.
00:48:28:22 - 00:48:39:22
Unknown
If your baby had slipped transverse at home and stayed that way.
00:48:40:00 - 00:49:02:01
Unknown
You still could have transferred in. Right? And the only reason I'm saying that is because, you know, so many women listen to this podcast and are going to put themselves in this situation and. Right, you know, and, you know, yeah. Things are what they are. But but but for someone trying this on, you know, that is another option.
00:49:02:05 - 00:49:23:14
Unknown
I'm never I'm I'm not pretending that we can guarantee outcomes obviously. Right. The reality is you can always be at home, stay your ass home. And if you decide to transfer to the hospital, you can do that. Like you don't have to go in and get in, dudes and do all of these things. Like, you don't have to start that way, right?
00:49:23:16 - 00:49:50:00
Unknown
It is a particular situation that's extremely rare at the time of birth. And also, I think and I'm not saying you in this scenario, but a lot of women, I don't think understand what transverse really is like. A lot of women will come to me that their babies transverse, but it's just it's like a peanut, you know, it's not it's not a true.
00:49:50:02 - 00:50:24:01
Unknown
Yeah. Horizontal lie. It's like, you know, they talk in and they anyway. So a lot of women get freaked out about this transverse thing throughout the pregnancy, which really like your baby's position is truly irrelevant until they're coming out. And it's very uncommon that a baby would stay in a transverse position at the time of birth. But even in that very rare scenario, my understanding of it and from the stories I've I've collected, though, though there aren't many because it is quite rare, is you have time, right?
00:50:24:03 - 00:50:49:09
Unknown
You know, it's not a it's not a situation like a placental abruption is like act fast. You know, there are obviously emergencies that are within minutes, you know, of seriousness of potential fatality. But but transverse is my understanding of it is not really like that. And if you just think about the mechanics of it. Yes, the baby cannot come out transverse of course, which does mean if we don't deal with it, that baby would probably die, you know?
00:50:49:10 - 00:51:09:22
Unknown
Okay, now then, the other piece that the hospital would never allow for is that babies move, you know, and I've seen move every which way, you know. And twins are an interesting one with transverse because it's not uncommon that the second baby's transverse. But then they get their ass in gear and they get in it and they change.
00:51:09:22 - 00:51:39:07
Unknown
And that's part of what contractions are for, is to help them into position. So anyway. So oh wow. Okay. That's really brutal. So postpartum depression of course Ross hospital I go yeah. So yeah, I ended up, you know, having an infection. Right. All of those things. And so it was, it was, it was just horrible. And so I really did some spiritual work.
00:51:39:07 - 00:52:00:18
Unknown
There was a, there was instead of the two the so the between the third and the fourth child, there is it's two years, but it's like, it's like two and a half, two and three quarters like it's so it's closer to the three year mark. And that was like my period of being like, I'm never having a baby again unless I can have a baby at home.
00:52:00:23 - 00:52:25:07
Unknown
And so, you know, as a woman, it was like finding somebody in community that would, you know, support, sort support somebody with just one C-section was like pulling teeth. Because here in the state of Louisiana, you know, somebody within the system or carrying a medical license, you know, they say that home birth is illegal for a medical provider to attend at home.
00:52:25:07 - 00:52:46:02
Unknown
And is there a v back band? What's up with with Louisiana with v backs? Yeah. So like a license midwife can't attend a V back at home in the last thing. I'm just still kind of hung up on this third birth. The the last thing I'm thinking about just that's crossing my mind right now is.
00:52:46:04 - 00:53:18:01
Unknown
The spiritual guidance piece is interesting because and I say this like so sensitively like I'm not I'm not challenging your your story. I'm just kind of like thinking about it and trying on different, different perspectives for it. And I guess I'm making up that if it was really authentic spiritual guidance that you, you know, were really guided by and therefore like the result of it would be at peace, like.
00:53:18:02 - 00:53:35:17
Unknown
That with how fucked up you were after the birth and how, how upset. And you know, you know, no more kids, you know, unless it's a home birth and how much it devastated you that that says something to me about your.
00:53:35:19 - 00:53:57:06
Unknown
Like incongruence around it, you know, that that you weren't, clear that this saved your baby's life, you know, and and when women even if I don't totally buy it, like, I know what it looks like on a woman who's like, I was guided. The C-section saved my life. Like, we're at peace. Like. And sometimes that's cognitive dissonance.
00:53:57:06 - 00:54:20:17
Unknown
Sometimes. You mean it's all a story? The bottom line is right story. Right? But that's that stands out to me. And I do think plays a part of where we're heading because and I'm not saying you made the wrong decision or anything like that, that doesn't even exist. Like you made the decisions you made with where you were at and exactly what resources you had, and it is what it is.
00:54:20:19 - 00:54:46:18
Unknown
But do you know what I mean? Like if it. Yeah. No, I yeah, I do get, get what you're saying and yeah there was a lot of it was, it was a dark time. Yeah. It was a dark time. I just put it like that even with me, you know, just accepting because okay, so with readings, the reading doesn't tell you exactly what's going to happen.
00:54:46:19 - 00:55:15:12
Unknown
You know, so it, it, it, it tells you if there are things to be aware of, you know, like if there's concerns, if it's not, if it's a mountain versus you just walking down the street, you just, you know. So that could have been the transverse like, you know, this labor could have been because when we get to my fourth, I, I had, I had I was in my journey for three days.
00:55:15:14 - 00:55:38:07
Unknown
And so three days of experiencing on and off waves, three days of, you know, all of those things. Really. It was almost four. So maybe that so maybe that would have been, you know, like the reading isn't specific, like you're going to die, you know what I'm saying? And so yeah, I do I have, you know, dance with interpretation.
00:55:38:09 - 00:56:00:05
Unknown
Yeah. Okay. She, she was transverse. And that could have been like that. We could have been in that situation for 2 or 3, four days. And then we could have, you know, and then we could have went into the next phase of this thing, you know, because I've seen a seven day labor now, you know, but at the time, there's just where you're at in your own deprogramming process, right?
00:56:00:06 - 00:56:27:22
Unknown
You know, and and again, it's not right or wrong or good or bad. It's just wherever the woman is at, you know, the choices then that are available to her. And the hospital on some level was still your place. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Even though parts of you were were deprogramming and parts of you were fantasizing and parts of you, it wasn't like a fully congruent choice yet, right?
00:56:27:23 - 00:57:07:22
Unknown
That's real. You know, that's real. And the irony of all of this is that, you know, it was so 2016. I saw my first birth outside the system. No, that was that 2015 or 2016. So that was like the first. That's the first outside of my own burst. That was the first birth I'd ever seen. So I didn't outside of my own experience of feeling like, you know, damn, like I'm going through this or whatever, and this highly medical births in terms of the work as a birth worker, my footing really started doing postpartum work teas, making teas and things like that.
00:57:07:22 - 00:57:32:06
Unknown
And then this sister invited me to her birth. And me, because I wasn't a trained doula, because I didn't have any information besides my own experiences. I even asked her where she planned on birthing at. So when she called me, I love you. Send me her address. Oh my God. And what number? How many babies had you had by the time you attended her birth?
00:57:32:08 - 00:57:57:14
Unknown
Two. The two. So it's pre the third. Okay. So it was right after my second. And so I had two. So I just went it was her first baby. And I never took no duly trainings or nothing like that. And I just witnessed her birth and I supported her in postpartum and I didn't I didn't betta eyelash like I didn't think about it because even though my experience were medical, I didn't see birth that way.
00:57:57:16 - 00:58:33:09
Unknown
You know, like, I was like, I was like, she called me. We met ago. Who was at her birth. It was just me and her husband. Amazing. Yeah. So, you know, that was my first introduction into, like, actually attending births. And so that was beautiful. The only thing is, it was funny because right after that, you know, when I shared the story, I had a sister friend who was like, you know, now that you out here, you know, attending births and you should get some, you should get some type of information.
00:58:33:10 - 00:58:57:02
Unknown
So like, you should get some type of skills or something like that. And then it ended up being somewhere was coming down here. So somehow I got connected to WaPo through another, through another birth worker that I hold dearly. And when I looked on her website and everything, because I was like, I don't want I knew I didn't want to do like, Donna or nothing like that.
00:58:57:02 - 00:59:31:05
Unknown
So it just and I'm already on a spiritual path. So I was just like, I think I could do this because I had already said, I'm not doing the medical midwifery route, especially not, by the way. You know, I experienced medical midwives, you know, and just really integrating those experiences because it's one thing like I was still on the track after, you know, after our first child thinking, but I'm going to be better, you know, but I'm going to, you know, so then it's like, no, I ain't no better like these, these, these, this is what the system is doing exactly what it was designed to do, you know.
00:59:31:05 - 00:59:52:19
Unknown
And so, you know, once I realized that and got off that route, I ended up getting a bachelor of science in psych. But in the process of that, I trained as a doula. And, you know, was intended birth and have been attended birth since then and then ended up doing her, her birth keeper and program as well.
00:59:52:21 - 01:00:26:08
Unknown
But mainly my the bulk of my experience honestly has been attending births like me attending births. Right. Like that's that and I don't have a medical background. So it's always really been outside of my own birth experience of it being fucked up for my first few births. Like my perception of it was never medical lives, and I really was very protective of allowing people into my energy that were like that because I wanted to protect.
01:00:26:09 - 01:00:50:19
Unknown
Like when she caught me and it was her house, I didn't think much of it. I didn't call anyone, I just went. So it's like I always had that, that about me. And that has followed me through the work because, you know, that's that's really where it started in terms of my work. You know, it wasn't in the hospital and I have attended hospital births since.
01:00:50:21 - 01:01:18:18
Unknown
I do. Not anymore. But, yeah, that was never my my preference. And it was never what resonated with me, you know, and so forth. For Baby Did, my spiritual work was like, okay, it has to be at home. And so, you know, we conceive, I know, and I'm pregnant. Covid hits, I see. So my baby's 2020, my first home birth.
01:01:18:19 - 01:01:46:23
Unknown
2020. Mind you. Oh, let me give you this disclaimer. I didn't get, I didn't get social media until the middle of 2020, so. And I found I found your, like maybe 2021, like, after that, you know, so with this, I was, I was seeing the doctor, but like I told you, I had already danced with, you know, wild pregnancies to a certain extent.
01:01:46:23 - 01:02:06:04
Unknown
So I seen her one time, and then it was like, that was it? She didn't reach out to me. I didn't go looking for her. People say I fell between the cracks. I don't really see it like that. I see it as a spiritual thing. But I did also think back like, dang, what if I really was someone that was planning on birthing in the hospital?
01:02:06:09 - 01:02:28:04
Unknown
Like, that was toe up, you know? But I really knew I wasn't birthing there. So I went through my pregnancy knowing I wasn't. Women won a birth at the hospital. They, like, go to their appointments. Yeah, right. Not like avoiding them. Like. Yeah, right there. They're like, Covid hit. I was like, great. Now I don't have to like right right away to get around these appointments.
01:02:28:04 - 01:02:52:22
Unknown
Like I'm just not going. So we had one we had one in-person appointment in the beginning. Then we had a virtual appointment like pretty much at the end. And then I did an in person. That in person, when I tell you she had me signing paperwork, she had me like, she was literally because I asked her about home birth.
01:02:52:22 - 01:03:22:05
Unknown
I said because she she it ended up being I need to share this. She was pregnant. So at the end of my pregnancy, when I went in to see her, it all came together because it was like, oh, that's why you were people would have perceived her as negligent, but I didn't care. And so but she was pregnant herself and she was a back mom having another season like I mean, she was a she was a pregnant mom who could have had a v bag, who advocates for v bag, and she was having a C-section.
01:03:22:06 - 01:03:47:10
Unknown
What more do you need? What more do you need? I mean, you have more than enough. So. So I'm in there talking to her like, so what is your reason for you? Like, I can turn into the to the medical care provider and emotional. So why are you she said chin, it's just easier. It's just safer. Aren't you a doctor?
01:03:47:12 - 01:04:07:19
Unknown
On another one? Not. She's not a bad doctor. She's a liar. So? So I'm in there, like, hounding her. Like grilling her. She's uncomfortable. Then. Then I started talking to her about homework, and I'm like, well, people have Vmax at home. Like, women don't have to come here. And she's like, so that's something that you plan on doing?
01:04:07:19 - 01:04:32:20
Unknown
I don't know, I don't know. She's like, well, I'm going to need you to sign this. And I just want you to know these are your risks. And honestly, you you are measuring really big. So you're having a big baby. Like, she just she pulled every card. She pulled every card. And so I left that appointment. Mind you, I while pregnancy so I hadn't been seeing her hadn't been, hadn't been connected to anybody, hadn't told nobody that I wanted them at my birth.
01:04:32:22 - 01:04:37:12
Unknown
And then I said, okay.
01:04:37:14 - 01:04:54:22
Unknown
Maybe I should reach out to so-and-so. Oh, I did have a friend. I did have a friend I wanted at my birth, though. One friend, but she had like three. It was me, her and her. So she had three. She might have had four clients at the time. So it was in the air. It was in there. She was a dula and it was in the air.
01:04:54:22 - 01:05:25:20
Unknown
So that's what that was with that. And then the the sister that I'm telling you I reached out to, she was the person I worked with from my third pregnancy. So I was kind of like, I don't know, because I do believe in energy transfers. And, you know, I really wanted a new situation. But I ended up after that appointment, I was crying and I broke down and I called her, I called her and I said, I feel like I want you to have my birth.
01:05:25:20 - 01:05:43:06
Unknown
Like I feel like I need support, you know? And this person may not be coming because she has other clients and things like that. And then that person hadn't worked out any money like she just a friend. We both a timber. She was like, yeah, I'll come to your birth. But I got four of the clients, so I didn't know.
01:05:43:06 - 01:06:10:16
Unknown
And so she ended up, she ended up, you're referencing the unlicensed me? Yeah. The unlicensed midwife ended up doing her spiritual work and saying she was willing to come, and she said, clear. Like when you say an unlicensed midwife, I'm going to make an assumption that she is still a medical midwife who is unlicensed in Louisiana, like her training, her background.
01:06:10:17 - 01:06:37:03
Unknown
Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. She definitely. So with that being said, she said she, she, she let me know a couple of days later because I'm at the end of come, she let me know a couple days later that she was willing to support me in whatever way I needed support. That was really we didn't go into what that meant, you know, and I, I danced with that after the birth.
01:06:37:04 - 01:07:07:07
Unknown
Two we didn't go into what that meant because I didn't invite her. I guess in hindsight, we could have in that space at the time, but we just didn't. And so, you know, she wasn't my care provider through the journey. So like, we didn't talk about anything. And so she came like, I think maybe right when I started having waves and dropped off a bag and we, you know, we talked and you know, she was like, yeah girl, you know, shit going to happen.
01:07:07:07 - 01:07:30:08
Unknown
Whatever, whatever. And she left. And my sister lived with us at the time. So I had people around me my husband, my sister, the the sister friend I told you attends verse. She ended up being available. So she she was in and out. So there were people floating through my three day labor. My, my labor journey ended up being three days or whatever.
01:07:30:10 - 01:07:57:18
Unknown
That third day was really hard. I never had one at at no point because I went to my my son was born at 41 and three, supposedly, never tracked my ovulation with that pregnancy, I mean, before pregnancy with that child or anything. So I really don't know, like how I know with this child I didn't know all of the I didn't know, what my body was doing pre-pregnancy with this child.
01:07:57:18 - 01:08:23:11
Unknown
I knew what my body was doing pre-pregnancy. And so, so with four child, who knows? But on paper I guess is 41 and three is is when he came or whatever. And so those three days were rough. They were rough. I remember calling a whole separate midwife friend and, she was a medical midwife as well. And she was like, why isn't so-and-so there?
01:08:23:17 - 01:08:47:10
Unknown
Like, you know, basically like the midwife should be like on my ass monitoring me. And I was like, oh, no, we never discussed any of that. Like, that's not that's not the standard. You know, that's not like the understanding or whatever. So, I mean, we were just Slotin. No one ever showed any aspect of fear. Like it was a beautiful flow that labor itself.
01:08:47:12 - 01:09:06:14
Unknown
That last day, they ended up leaving like, around, I'd say 4 p.m. the sisters, because everybody was coming in and out and just really leaving it to me and my husband and my my blood sister who lived in a household with us. They're like, y'all just needs faith. You just need to do your thing. Like we're in and out.
01:09:06:14 - 01:09:33:14
Unknown
We've been in and out for the last days. Like we just want to take space. And I'm like, no, take space. But I knew on a deeper level I knew they needed to. So they left. One other elder priestess in the community came and did some acupressure on me and gave me a full body massage. And then she left because she was taking care of her mother, God rest her soul, because she's an ancestor now, she doesn't care her mother.
01:09:33:14 - 01:09:59:17
Unknown
So she just came in to do that body work on me, and she left out and within. Within, I'd say two hours of her leaving. Active labor hit. So active labor hits, I just feel like I was finally in a space of relaxation and just letting it all be. I won't even say it with the massage, honestly, or the acupressure because I know when be like, what can I do?
01:09:59:18 - 01:10:25:01
Unknown
It's really when your body said this time and when your baby said this time, and I feel like it was time for me, you know, and nobody was bothering me, you know, and and when I look back, I was hosting, like, I'm very much a even I wasn't raised in the South. I have roots and I'm very much a woman who cooks, a woman who loves, like company, like friends coming over and you know that.
01:10:25:01 - 01:10:42:08
Unknown
And I was in that energy in my birth, like, you know, my husband was cooking. I'm like, y'all want to eat? Like, because my husband is a chef. And so, you know, it was it was like that. And and it was just time for all that to stop, for my baby to come through. And it was a party birth.
01:10:42:09 - 01:11:17:07
Unknown
It was a party birth. And so they left. And, you know, my labor started. That was about she left at seven. I woke up like I fell asleep to the massage. I woke up at nine something pm and in in active labor like feeling it and it, it hit all the way into 3:16 a.m. when he was born and the, the the sister doula that I told you I invited and the unlicensed midwife that I invited, they walked in 20 minutes before my baby was born.
01:11:17:07 - 01:11:38:16
Unknown
In the process, like right before they came. My sister. That's one thing that I can share. My sister, she she had a breakdown in my active labor. She had never seen a live birth. I never groomed her like I never prepared her for it. I was just like, this is my house. We have no birth. You live with us, you help with the kids.
01:11:38:16 - 01:11:59:10
Unknown
So, you know, you hear, my kids were supposed to be here, but my mother in law had ended up come and get them, and I ended up starting labor. So that's what happened. But she was originally going to just be around with the kids or, you know, off doing whatever she was doing. But she, in my blood sister actually ended up being home that day and at my labor, so she freaked out.
01:11:59:10 - 01:12:20:12
Unknown
In active labor, we're 11 months apart. That's my Irish twin. And she was really feeling it. And I was pissed because I was like, you are making this about you. My sister's a Scorpio and I was like, you make everything about you, you're making about you. And I'm a Libra. So I'm like and and I'm so I'm like, I'm always like, it's okay.
01:12:20:12 - 01:12:43:16
Unknown
And you know, I'm like people pleasing in a way. And I'm like, well, I'm not doing this now. Like if you. So we're going back and forth in my labor. So when we're calling the sisters that are supposed to come to my labor, they're not knowing if like, shit is really popping off or if like, this is the real like if it's really happened or if they're coming to meeting.
01:12:43:18 - 01:13:05:15
Unknown
So it took a while to get there, but when they got there, like my water literally broke within like three minutes of them being in my house, like they were walking in and my water is released and me and my husband had been just my my back. Labor was intense. It was very, very intense. And so, you know, we were working through that.
01:13:05:15 - 01:13:26:21
Unknown
And that was, that was that was really hard because I don't think I had mentally prepared because I had went through so much Pettersen without medication and all that. I just thought I could do anything. And I did get through it. But I'm saying I didn't think it would be painful. So I wasn't mentally prepared to experience discomfort in labor because I was like, well, they forced my baby.
01:13:26:23 - 01:13:44:02
Unknown
But it's like, no, you obey. Your body still has to do shit. And some people feel things when your body is doing something. But isn't it so much better? So much better. It's different. It was hard for me to ride the waves. It really was. I really did need the hands on support that my husband provided me.
01:13:44:02 - 01:14:05:13
Unknown
I don't know what I could have done if he wasn't a part of that. And they walked in and the energy automatically shifted as soon as they walked in. And it's like, you know, people don't understand that even when people are not coming to do anything to touch you or whatever, whatever, it's still they're still there, you know?
01:14:05:13 - 01:14:38:16
Unknown
And so the energy shifted. They really didn't expect me to be where I was. I was kind of like out before they came. I was a wild woman, like I was in my I was in my birth. And when they got there, it's like I just felt like I had to stop. But I was already there, like he was already coming out and stuff, but I just felt like I felt the ship and, one of the sisters that came did get scared.
01:14:38:18 - 01:14:59:07
Unknown
We hadn't done any monitoring. Monitoring, no blood pressure, none of that through through pregnancy, through my labor, none of that. But she did panic and she did get scared. In that situation led to,
01:14:59:09 - 01:15:25:04
Unknown
Coach pushing. No. So that situation that the the fear that came up as a result of just walking in and me being fully in it and like, wow, your is really about to come led to coach pushing, which was not like I said, there was never a conversation had. So I didn't know you know from the midwife. Yeah.
01:15:25:04 - 01:15:52:00
Unknown
So I didn't know what all that entailed or whatever which but coach pushing is something I did not want, you know what I'm saying? So I didn't birth him on my back or nothing like that. Like I squatted him out. He was 10 pounds, five ounces. I didn't tear at all. Mind you, in my in my fourth, I mean, in my second birth, my 8 pound, 12 ounce baby where I did coach pushing on my back.
01:15:52:00 - 01:16:21:19
Unknown
I tore second degree paranoid there for the mamas listening, I pushed out a 10 pound five baby in a squat position with no tear. Of course, the size of the baby is not equal to the tear they think it is, though. I know people don't know anything. Right? And so yeah, I just wanted to share that. And so with that experience, it really I had to really look back and be like, we should have had a conversation about how someone was showing up in my birth.
01:16:21:19 - 01:16:43:21
Unknown
And then for me, I just really had to accept that me and I acted on fear. So I invited someone to my birth as a result of fear. And that fear manifested in my birth. Like I'm thinking I'm bringing someone in to protect me from something that I'm afraid of or from a thing, but it ended up perpetuating itself in a whole different way.
01:16:43:21 - 01:17:01:00
Unknown
And yet my birth was like, no one really fucked with me, like, did it? But there were things that happened that I didn't want to happen, that if I had not picked up my phone and been like, yeah, shit is happening now, like it would have never happened, you know? But I mean, some people talked with you. Oh, yeah.
01:17:01:01 - 01:17:23:22
Unknown
Oh yeah. I'm not. Yeah. I'm in through the, like labor itself. Yeah. At the at when it was time to get my baby out. Yeah. Like the coach pushing part. That was something I really, you know, didn't want and that definitely, you know, occurred I really wanted I really wanted to feel that that fetal ejection response.
01:17:23:22 - 01:17:46:19
Unknown
And I didn't experience that, like. And so, you know, I know that that's a result of the whole energy and the panic around like, holy shit, your baby's coming out, you know, versus pants. Yeah. And so fast forward. Yeah. Let me I just got a time check us. So we're past an hour, and in eight minutes I'm supposed to do another interview.
01:17:46:19 - 01:18:36:09
Unknown
So basically, yeah, we got to kind of figure out a way. So we've got, let's just say like another like, I mean eight minutes at the absolute most. Okay. Okay. So my fifth baby, we conceived him in the Texas woods. I was supposed to be on call, magically got a cover for this birth with a birth worker that aligned with me and the mom, the family and was over had already had two previous situations where we felt like we conceive, had had the conversation about wild pregnancy and free birth and let husband know, look, this is the only root for me.
01:18:36:10 - 01:19:02:19
Unknown
Nobody, not sister, not nobody, you know. And so had opened up that space to, to to conceive, you know. And so we conceived our baby. We conceived our baby in the woods outside of my cabin. Yeah. I was out of a cabin, our first family. Like nature. Like, you know, like our first cabin stay. Our first, you know, experience.
01:19:02:19 - 01:19:29:17
Unknown
Our children slept outside with our spiritual community. And so that was beautiful. My person from the very beginning, like, because I had had to deal with in past pregnancies, like the monitoring by choice. All these things are choices that I made, y'all. But because I made those choices, it was like I just wanted to do the polar opposite of all of it.
01:19:29:18 - 01:19:46:11
Unknown
I did, I said, based on this, I know when I did, my due month is March, my baby's coming in March. I said, there's a new moon there, the full moon. And at the end of my pregnancy, I found out that my uncle, who had transitioned his birthday was March 18th. So I said, it's one of them dates probably.
01:19:46:12 - 01:20:12:06
Unknown
Who knows. He ended up being born March 18th. But that was the extent to which I did any of those things. Yeah, I never did blood pressure. I didn't get into any of those things. And it was because I was like, for what? Like divine intelligence? Like natural intelligence. Before we had all of these things, we were just pregnant and we just had our babies.
01:20:12:06 - 01:20:33:09
Unknown
And I really love I ended up because I was like, I fell in love with the podcast. And I was like, I really want to figure out a way to contribute. And I was like, I'm a bi. I'm a by this free birth society. This, this, it was a class y'all have about Freeburg. So I ended up buying it.
01:20:33:09 - 01:20:58:06
Unknown
But really, what gave me life? I think I went through 40, 50%, something like that. But a lot of that just through attending births and stuff like that, I was fortunate. Most people don't have that birth experience, so they don't know the things. A lot of it I already knew. But for me, those episodes were life like y'all have now.
01:20:58:06 - 01:21:20:17
Unknown
When clients come to me for a free bird, which is it really? The ones that actually want to free birth? Like not. They're trying to hire me, but I'd be like, y'all need to get on this class. Y'all need to go get this from from, you know, from I think it's audible or the podcasting. Yeah. Yeah, I need to go on there because, like, it was life changing, hearing those women's stories.
01:21:20:17 - 01:21:45:03
Unknown
My children still seeing that that into the world I go into, like, it changed my life. Just hearing the the real life experiences of women, you know, it. It's life changing. And so I just feel like whenever I did, because there is a period of time where I felt like my baby should have been moving, but my baby wasn't moving.
01:21:45:03 - 01:22:07:13
Unknown
But my babies before had moved by that time, and I got in my head. I just cut on the podcast. Like anytime I would just, you know, get over thinking like, we are doing this, like, stop, why are you overthinking? And so, yeah, I want to share that. That was like, when people talk about prenatal care, I'd be like, I was listening to the podcast.
01:22:07:15 - 01:22:36:01
Unknown
Like that was a part of my prenatal care. Like, but really outside of that, meditation. Meditation was my friend. Meditation with my friend, walk in meditation mainly. And really just just allowing things to be what they were like. I was able to be pregnant without the extra, which allowed me to zero in on what was important.
01:22:36:01 - 01:22:58:12
Unknown
And I didn't take like supplements or nothing like that. Like, but if I felt like I needed something, I would eat more or, you know, I would hydrate more or I would take a walk, you know? And so I feel like I was really able to zoom, zoom in on with my body needed because I didn't have all the outside noise telling me what, what should be happening to me and what's normal.
01:22:58:12 - 01:23:22:10
Unknown
And it really, I mean, it changed me as a birth worker going through a fully wild pregnancy because it was like going through that shit. It's like it just makes you check yourself like you don't know anything because at the end of the day, that's her experience. That's her body. Like, who are you? And so it's it's changed me.
01:23:22:12 - 01:23:44:13
Unknown
It's really changed me. And I'm I'm. Thank y'all. Yeah. Thank God. And y'all and y'all y'all y'all class is beautiful as well. Like it really is it just, you know, when you're not doing all the when you're not trying to be heady about it, it's like, you know, so I wasn't I didn't want a heady experience. And y'all do a beautiful way of communicating everything.
01:23:44:14 - 01:24:05:20
Unknown
But you know, for me, as a person with birth experience, I was just like, I'm not trying to think. I ain't trying to, you know? So it was certain things, but it was like, but those fucking that podcast, like, it was remarkable. Impeccable. Because you make that up, you can't make a woman get on here and lie, right, right, right.
01:24:06:00 - 01:24:29:20
Unknown
And so thank you not, not certainly not 250 of them. Yeah. So thank you guys. My fourth pregnancy was what it was. It was wild. I had no problems. I never had fear about my pregnancy itself. My baby started moving. Like I asked spirit to guide me. Like what? What? You know, with a my baby. Okay. Within a week, my baby was moving.
01:24:29:20 - 01:24:49:10
Unknown
So boom. That move. My major concern in pregnancy was my husband was going to miss my birth and he was the only person invited to my birth, my nanny. At the end, I was like, I think I want her here to manage the children because I didn't know my children were going to be, you know, present. You know, my we have four children.
01:24:49:10 - 01:25:05:22
Unknown
So that was that. And she ended up it's so funny. She ended up being in our guest room, sleep with her son. So I wanted her to manage the children. But my baby came the middle of the night. Yeah. And then take pictures. Take pictures if she could. But I was trying to get my husband to go get her, you know, because I'm.
01:25:05:22 - 01:25:28:01
Unknown
I'm about to have my baby. My labor was like, three hours. Like my real, like where I had to be with my waves and what I was going through. That was three hours and I was completely alone. My husband came home and everything started. He walked in about 1130. Yep. He walked in about 11, 1130 from work and stuff just start happening.
01:25:28:01 - 01:25:49:02
Unknown
And, you know, I tell people all the time when, when it comes to my act of labor itself, I did meet my shadow side. I did start to have doubts. It was never about uterine rupture, was never about my safety or my baby safety. It was really like I started having multiple needs. Like I needed somebody fanning me.
01:25:49:02 - 01:26:08:22
Unknown
I needed some water. I needed to use the bathroom. I'm changing Chuck's pads. I actually was in this chair, laboring in this chair for a good bit because that was what was working for me. And it was like I started having multiple needs, and I was like, maybe I should have invited my mom by cause my mom only went to my first labor.
01:26:08:22 - 01:26:23:09
Unknown
I have this thing where it's like, if something bad happened at a birth and you was there is like, I'm with you. So she had never been to a birth of mine again, but I was like, maybe my mom could have been here because my husband, he was really he was really exhausted from work and he was on the couch.
01:26:23:09 - 01:26:46:16
Unknown
And, the thing was for, for I had to really explain to him why I didn't want someone here. Like someone who, someone who had a lease, been to a birth or something, and someone who would be here supporting me. I had to really, like, explain that to him, because the way he experienced my fourth birth and the way I experienced it, like he felt like everything was perfect.
01:26:46:16 - 01:27:10:16
Unknown
Everything was built. The sisters came through. You did it like it. He didn't. But then I had to unpack it with him. And so once I impacted with him, he got it. But he was still like, you know, my husband works 15 hour days. So he was like, like, I may not be no good. So when he left for work, like we knew what it was, we knew the baby was going to come in the middle of the night, and we knew we were not closing our restaurant.
01:27:10:17 - 01:27:31:18
Unknown
We own a restaurant, and we knew we weren't closing it that day. So he went into close. I was like, no, I don't want you around here because that's that puts all that pressure on. What if this is three days? What if this is a week, you know, so we're like, no, go to work. Go do you. So then he came back and it was so blown.
01:27:31:18 - 01:27:48:10
Unknown
But he didn't have the capacity. And so he was he he got me something to drink. He was like, you are right. You know, I'm all right. Whatever. He went in there, he laid down. And then I called his name when it was both time and he ran a bath water. I'm thinking I went through all this work to get our tub renovated.
01:27:48:10 - 01:28:12:01
Unknown
I'm thinking I'm the birth in the tub. I get in that tub, I'm in there a few minutes, I'm like, get me out of this tub. So I'm getting out the tub. I'm taking steps from the tub, I drop down, it was over like my baby was sliding out and my baby was born and in call. So it I mean, I did not like it was just like.
01:28:12:03 - 01:28:18:14
Unknown
And I was like, is that the baby?
01:28:18:16 - 01:28:42:22
Unknown
Like, no problems. Like everything really. Everything really flowed. And, you know, it was it was a beautiful birth experience. It was a highly spiritual birth experience. And the only, the only thing I can ever say is that, you know, at that point, I just felt like maybe my mama should have been around, you know, to be able to nurture me because I was like, I was changing my past because I didn't.
01:28:42:23 - 01:29:03:05
Unknown
I was I was all messy and I'm a little bit OCD. So I'm like, you know, whatever. But then I got to a point where I was just pinning all around. I was just pissing, but I was like, maybe I could have had my mom here. But it was never it was never like, I need medical attention, I need help.
01:29:03:06 - 01:29:37:01
Unknown
I think after the the party birth in your home, I think that some part of your soul needed to know what it was like to be alone. Oh, yes. Like, you couldn't you couldn't really justify. Not. Not that I'm saying your mom would have done anything like wrong or whatever, but I get it. I get the like, okay, this is this is just me and my very tired, exhausted husband.
01:29:37:07 - 01:29:55:03
Unknown
Yeah. Like me versus me. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. That's I mean, I haven't had that many births, but that's how I felt. I didn't have a party birth, but I had my sister and then like a soul sister and my husband at my first and, and something just I just knew I needed to know what it was like to just be alone.
01:29:55:03 - 01:30:23:02
Unknown
And I don't know that choose that. But I just needed to know what it was like. Right, right. And I was going to say, the only other thing is I would have like I told my husband, I think with the fourth birth, because they were like up on me, even though they weren't like, technically like doing. So when, when it was time for the baby to come and, you know, the baby's coming out, he was like, so close and like, I really did win a halo.
01:30:23:03 - 01:30:41:10
Unknown
Like, I was like, give back. But he. That was just his, like. It was like. It was almost like he was like, well, if somebody else isn't doing it, he has to step in and do that. But you know, so we didn't we didn't thoroughly go like I did tell him, okay, well, if I pass out, I'll probably be okay.
01:30:41:10 - 01:31:00:20
Unknown
But if I'm not okay, call the people. Like, he knew basic things, but my husband ain't never read a book. He don't get into all of that, you know, even though he's conscious and healthy, he just don't get into all of that. And I'm grateful. I'm so grateful he's not. But he did like, you know, he he was like, trying like he was like, can I catch a baby?
01:31:00:20 - 01:31:17:17
Unknown
I was like, no, no. I'm like, the baby going to go on the ground. And she's I'm catching the baby or no one's catching the baby. Like that's how I felt. And so, you know, once the baby came out and everything, I said, go give him a ride so she could take some pictures. And he did. And, my percentage was out in 2.5 hours.
01:31:17:17 - 01:31:42:10
Unknown
I did, I did, I regret moving, but my baby shitted on me within like three minutes of being born everywhere. Got into the tub, which, you know, I shouldn't have done. And I just feel like that just delayed my little process and, you know, but I barely bled. And, yeah, it was just my placenta. It took. I was in a tub for about an hour.
01:31:42:11 - 01:32:01:10
Unknown
Then I got out, and then. And then I was by the bed for about an hour and 30 minutes. Yeah, it took about 2.5 hours, which I mean, seeing births, that happens. But I do feel like because I waited for a percentage for eight hours before, which people be thinking it's crazy, but like, I'm not like I'm she ain't pulling out.
01:32:01:12 - 01:32:19:18
Unknown
I'm damn sure not pulling out her center. So what are we going to do? Like we're going to wait. And so, you know, that's what it was. But I know that I did too much in that immediate postpartum. Like I should have stayed where I was at. I should have got some wipes and just, you know, washed off and just sat there.
01:32:19:18 - 01:32:42:14
Unknown
But, you know, I got into tub. I got a beautiful picture. There's nothing wrong with it taking 2.5 hours. No, it's not, it's not, but I think I think for me I'll be going back and forth with why did I. Why did I start? I started fooling with it after about two hours, you know, and started, you know, traction.
01:32:42:14 - 01:33:04:09
Unknown
I started okay. Is it tight? Is it, is it loose as it. And it was sitting right there in a yoni. So then exactly. I pushed it a little bit. It came on out. Yeah. That was harder than look. The baby slid out, the placenta didn't so. And, you know, it was good. I didn't weigh him or anything until after 24 hours.
01:33:04:09 - 01:33:25:02
Unknown
He doesn't have a name. He's never been to a pediatrician, like I just. We don't need all of that. He'll be four months tomorrow. So what do you mean, he doesn't have a name? What's the plan there? I'm assuming your other kids have names. His name and ceremony is August 25th. It's a spiritual ceremony we go through. Okay.
01:33:25:03 - 01:33:38:11
Unknown
Yeah. And so, yeah, you know, name them. Or do you just call him the baby? You know, it's a million nicknames. My friend just caught him five recently. Five. Oh.
01:33:38:12 - 01:34:00:14
Unknown
Nicknames. I call him Papa because he looks like my grandfather. You. And he has. Yeah. So you know, but, I mean, the only other thing. Postpartum was beautiful. Like postpartum bliss is real when you don't have people fucking with you and my breastfeeding, like, I'm not going to say it. What's easy to say? I've exclusively breastfed like I breastfed all my kids for two plus years.
01:34:00:15 - 01:34:27:00
Unknown
So to say. I've been breastfeeding for a decade, you know, it's like you would think that in my in my last two were breastfed for three years, the last two. So it's like I was breastfeeding while pregnant with them. And with that, it's like you would think that it's just going to be an automatic, you know, like my milk came and shit, but like, he, he, he, he had a little bit of a rough time, but I didn't involve.
01:34:27:00 - 01:34:50:23
Unknown
No, but like just latching and like, being on there, like, it wasn't as smooth as, like my, my last two children like, before him, but like, I just worked with it. I really didn't, because once you bring people in, it's like, oh, he could have this. He could have it's too much, it's too much. This is going to be your famous quote, postpartum bliss is real when no one's fucking with you.
01:34:51:01 - 01:35:10:20
Unknown
Yes. No, I swear to God, I swear. Nature walks by. You can walk. You could take you a nature walk. Like you know I felt good. I stayed in bed, I stayed in bed. So I don't know if we have the time. But I'm gonna try to say this real quick. My mother was here for a month. The fourth week she left my.
01:35:10:21 - 01:35:26:16
Unknown
My mother in law came. My mother left on a Saturday. My mother in law came on a Monday. She was here for a week. My nanny was paid for a whole week of being here after her. That's six weeks. I had full care. Nice in terms of like, my kids were taking care of. My food was prepared for me.
01:35:26:16 - 01:35:46:02
Unknown
Like I was good on that type of level, but I did not hire anyone, which I do regret. I didn't hire anyone to like do steams for me, you know, like stuff like that in terms of like to to do. Well, I could do my own belly button, but you know, stuff like that. Yeah. I didn't have that.
01:35:46:02 - 01:36:11:06
Unknown
I didn't get like a postpartum. But like in terms of, like my teeth, my food, like all those things, like I was good. I had a military, you know, and and it was beautiful not to have to worry about shit. And it, it was there was a level of grief because I realized that so many women, regardless of if it's resources or whatever, like they just don't get that experience.
01:36:11:06 - 01:36:32:23
Unknown
And like, women really need to plan for their postpartum, like I did and I should have done. I should have planned more. I didn't meal prep myself or anything, but I had the military and stuff. But like, women really need to plan for postpartum because like, you really need rest. Like, even if you it's like even though you, you can should you be doing that?
01:36:32:23 - 01:37:04:19
Unknown
Like I felt fine. Yeah. But like you said around the bliss piece, if you don't create the space and support, you won't get to experience the downloads and the higher like upgrades of consciousness. That can only really come with the rest and the nourishment and the containment of that bubble. Like once you open your computer and you go outside and you kind of open the bubble, that stuff just starts to go away.
01:37:04:19 - 01:37:31:14
Unknown
But there's a real state of consciousness available to only immediate postpartum moms. But I don't you know, obviously most women don't know that and they don't know how to nurture that. It's so much more than just the physical. There's like a real spiritual upgrade available in eastern medicine. You know, they call it, or eastern ways. They call it the, the, the golden opportunities.
01:37:31:16 - 01:37:58:04
Unknown
And it's monarch and birth or postpartum. Yeah. And then losing your blood and yeah, yeah. That's sacred window is you know, it's important and we have to wrap I know, but that was so fun. You're such a great storyteller. And I'm so I'm so proud of you. You've really you've really applied your learnings, you know, to to just keep evolving.
01:37:58:04 - 01:38:22:19
Unknown
And it really shows. And yeah, your story will be really good medicine for a lot of women. Thank you. Thank you for all that I do. You know, is these are the ancient ways. And you know, you guys are proof and I'm proof, but you guys are doing it in a major way that this is alive. This has always been here, and it's still here, and it's not going nowhere.
01:38:22:21 - 01:38:41:04
Unknown
Not as long as we have bodies. You know, once everyone merges with the robots, maybe something new is going to try to. Yeah, we'll hold it down. Yeah. All right. Thanks, girlfriend. Thanks for your time. Thank you. You have a beautiful day.
01:38:41:06 - 01:39:06:19
Unknown
I hope you enjoyed the show today. You can support this podcast by donating to it through the link in the show notes below. And of course, leaving an awesome review on whatever platform you listen on. The more reviews, the more visibility the show gets. So let's spread the good word of sovereign birth. Don't forget, you can watch our podcast interviews on YouTube and see the women as they tell their birth and power stories.
01:39:06:19 - 01:39:39:06
Unknown
And you'll also find our viral free birth collection of epic raw birth videos on our YouTube. Make sure you're subscribed to our channel! We've always got a lot going on at Free Birth Society, and you can find out all about it at Freebird Society, at Fryeburg Society on Instagram, and opt in to my newsletter below. We offer courses on free birth, authentic midwifery, the Blood Mysteries, as well as one on one coaching, in-person retreats and of course, our annual women's gathering, the Matriarch Rising Festival.
01:39:39:07 - 01:40:04:09
Unknown
Our exclusive private vetted membership. The Lighthouse is definitely something to check out. If you're looking for a community of wise sisters to get guidance from and to meet in real life. Together we rise. Sisters. We must speak our stories, fully, claim our lives, and support one another. This is the living revolution and I am so grateful to be in it with all of you.
01:40:04:10 - 01:40:40:02
Unknown
I'll leave you with our gorgeous free birth society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba. Read I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored eons upon light. Fields of survival and standing, the eradication of our power by design.
01:40:40:04 - 01:41:06:10
Unknown
I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in captivity the picket line redefine from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and dragging our babes strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts. Keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons.
01:41:06:10 - 01:41:32:15
Unknown
All your pointing. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention. Death, Ascension. I will fly and bring her back to the stars. Just conception while the moon. She still lives inside.
01:41:32:16 - 01:41:39:13
Unknown
Wild woman from you I will not hide.
01:41:39:15 - 01:41:54:10
Unknown
They could not bend your spirits away. So please teach me your way. I'm ready to love from you while among.
01:41:54:12 - 01:42:01:20
Unknown
I still run around. Run with the wolves when it's time.
01:42:01:22 - 01:42:09:07
Unknown
I still run, run, run, run. We were all once wild.
01:42:09:09 - 01:42:16:15
Unknown
I still right and run with the wolves. When the sky.
01:42:16:17 - 01:42:22:04
Unknown
We all came from. While the woman.
