Speaker 0
Welcome to the Free Birth Podcast, a supportive space for people who are learning, exploring, and celebrating their autonomous choices in childbirth. Together, we'll unpack truths, share personal stories, and claim our ability to birth freely and intuitively. Here's your host, Emily Saldea.
Speaker 1
Today, we have Amanda from Los Angeles, California. Luckily, Amanda was able to attend a hospital birth before getting pregnant, so she knew what she didn't want. With the support of her partner, she prepared herself for an autonomous birthing experience at home. Labor began at the bar where she and her husband had met. She drove herself home to realize she was in full blown active labor. Her birth story is beautifully simplistic, though not without an interesting twist at the end.
Speaker 2
So we have Amanda here who is a free birthing mama, and today she's gonna share her story with us. So, yeah, let's just go ahead and and dive on in. So you have a nine month old daughter now, so this took place nine months ago. Right?
Speaker 3
Yes. She was born in June, end of June.
Speaker 2
And it's her first baby?
Speaker 3
My very first baby. Yeah. She's been a blessing.
Speaker 2
So so let's just start from the very beginning. What did draw you to choose free birth, and and was that something you had planned before you were pregnant, or did you discover that along the way? Just tell me a little bit about your journey just to even get to to that choice.
Speaker 3
Sure. Absolutely. So, I mean, just to start from the beginning, the whole concept of being birth at home actually began through my mother because she actually had me at home. And growing up, I always felt a little special. Like, people ask where you're born. Like, I was born at home in, you know, in Loma Linda.
Speaker 2
And they were like, you're born at home?
Speaker 3
And they always, like, take it aback by that. And I was like, yeah. It just seemed like no big deal. But I didn't really think about it and, you know, until I started thinking about having a, a child. And I my first experience with birthing was actually when I was asked by one of my best friends to, be a part of her birth process. And I hadn't I'm not a doula. I don't have any birthing experience, but, you know, we're really close. And so she asked me to come, be part of her birthing experience. And it was in a hospital, and she was very, like, this is my birth plan. Just do whatever needs to be done. And I was like, I just want to respect what she was doing. So I showed up, and I didn't know what to do. We went to a couple classes, and, the information was very basic. So when the actual birth crossing was happening, I just felt like,
Speaker 2
I
Speaker 3
felt not sure what to do or how to help her
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
Because I'd never been through it before. So I knew it was kinda, like, on the guy's side of what what's going on.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
I have no idea. So I was there watching her, and she had her birth. And they did it, like, a sweep of her membrane and broke her sac and all of it. You know, like, okay. That's what they're supposed to do. But I felt just very, like, tense about everything that was going on. So she had her birth and everything was great, and she was happy, which is awesome. But I felt like that experience being in a hospital, I didn't really enjoy. So that brought me to the fact that, oh, maybe I should do some research. Like, what should what what what else could what other options are there out there?
Speaker 2
That's just so nice that you had kind of a preview of that system so that you could make a more educated decision. You know, so many women are going in blind, and so they have no idea if they're gonna like it or not. You got a little
Speaker 3
the little I got
Speaker 2
a little tidbit. Yeah.
Speaker 3
And I was happy that that's what she wanted, but I didn't know how what else to do to help her. So I felt kind of lost or out of control for her, which, you know, at the time, I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know what to expect. I was just watching everything. But just from my observations, I knew it wasn't something that I would want for myself. So that's what led me to start, like, maybe researching more. And one of my really good friends, Maya, she actually started she's on Facebook and posts, like, little snippets here and there. And she happened to be pregnant right around the same time as my son. And she kept posting little things about, like, cutting cutting or not cutting the umbilical cord too early or Mhmm. Or, you know, you it's okay to free birth or, or little I don't know. There's just little articles here and there about just birthing processes that were different than what I've been reading on what to expect when you're pregnant or, you know, the baby center or all these other little other websites that you'd normally get your information from. And I was like, oh, what is this? And I kept clicking on it and reading it. I was like, oh, I've never heard this before. So that kinda led me down the rabbit hole in a sense of researching more information. And I started I I walk a lot and because I have a dog. And I I listen to podcast. I started researching on podcast, and the first one I came across is actually a Kristen Burgess. I think it's a birth name, baby, and mama, an actual birth baby mama podcast. And she she she has, a great information about from pregnancy to, raising your kids naturally. And she actually also mentioned, Marin Green on IndieBirth. That's where I first heard about IndieBirth. And so I was like, okay. Let me just look up this this podcast. And as soon as I started listening to all like, just a little light went on, like, oh my gosh. Like, this this this sounds this information sounds up my alley. This this speaks to me and what I want. Uh-huh. And and I wasn't even pregnant at this time. Like, I just started, like, just listening to them here and there. And once I really decided, okay. I think we're gonna get pregnant, I decided that I wanted I I hadn't really reached the idea yet that I wanted a free birth. It was just something, like, in the back of my mind. So I started looking at other options like the Bradley method or hypnobirthing or, you know, there's other there's so many different types of ways that you could possibly go into having the tools you need to give birth. And so I decided to read the book about, sorry, about, the Bradley birth Bradley birth method where my husband could be more evolved. And I think originally what led me to that is because I felt lost in my friend's birth And knowing that that's what the husband might be going through because he doesn't know what's going on, I was like, okay. Let me try to bring my husband into this so that he and I can be a team in this whole birth process, and I want him to be involved. So I read, I think it was husband coach first thing for, the Bradley class, and he was like, okay. This sounds interesting. I can I I can I can do this? I can help you. And but the more and more I listen to the podcast from from, Indie Birth, the more I realized, like, I don't really need to be in a hospital. Like, he could just do this. Like, he he and I can be the team and do this together.
Speaker 2
And you're still not pregnant yet in this expiration. Right?
Speaker 3
No. I I was not pregnant. Yeah. I think that it only took maybe two or three months. So we were fortunate. It didn't take didn't take very long, on that on that journey. So once we became pregnant, I think I didn't I didn't actually tell him yet that I really want to do the free birthing, until we went to a baby event. And I talked to, there was a a birth center, representative at one of these baby events that I went to. And we're sitting there talking, and I was we were she's talking about how the birth center is very relaxed, and they have a birthing tub, and it's very more hands on. And, as far as, like, you know, not being, too advanced in, like, what they you know, they don't push you on doing anything. It's all more of, like, whatever you'd like to do, you can do. And then I went and I I remember to a podcast from, Verint about, like, questions you'd ask your your midwife. And she was really good about talking about probing questions, like, what would you use, in case I hemorrhaged? Or, you know, do you what do you think about picket pet petison? And so I I started asking her these questions and, like, the way she responded to me, I felt like she was like, I don't know. She didn't give me that warm fuzzy feeling that what I would want for someone to be supportive of me. Mhmm. I I felt like she was more concerned that I maybe knew too much information or that I didn't have any medical background, so
Speaker 2
why am I asking these questions?
Speaker 3
So, yeah, I just it didn't you know,
Speaker 2
it's just sometimes that you
Speaker 3
don't get those those warm, fuzzy feelings, and that's and so that's important to to have when you talk to somebody that might be helping you in your birth process. Mhmm. So I don't know. I just feel like I I came to this decision. When I came home after asking us, you know, the birth center some questions and talked to my husband, I was like, hey. What do you feel about if we just what if we just just have our our birth at home as you and me? And he was kinda like, with nobody here to help us. I was like, yeah. I think we can do this. Like, I I more and more I think about this, like, we're ending up having to pay somebody to come in where we don't want them to be hands on. Uh-huh. You know, we just wanna do this ourselves or they're just in case. So the just in case part may not happen. It may or may not happen. Like, why don't we just make this ourselves and undisturbed our own personal circle, and you will have an awesome experience. That's in my mind. Like, I'm just not, like, well, I'm not a worrier. Like, I just I feel like this is me doing what I need to do Right. And not worry about it.
Speaker 2
And, like, let's not add a ton of people that we don't even know who are gonna potentially shift the energy of the of the spur of the space.
Speaker 3
Exactly.
Speaker 2
So how did he how did he respond? What was that? Was he pretty quick to get on board, or did it bring up some fears he had to work through? He he's pretty quick
Speaker 3
to go to get on. I actually, ended up. We watched, The Business of Being Born Uh-huh. Together, and I think that flipped his his little, switch is like, okay. Yeah. I I understand where you're coming from now.
Speaker 2
But it's a big jump. It's one thing, you know, obviously, the business being born has done a lot for the world, and I think it's helped a lot of people see midwifery as a viable option. But then it's a whole another jump to say and then not even that.
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
So that was no big no big deal for him?
Speaker 3
No. And and and he's really great about that. I I didn't have to do, like, too much. He was really more whatever he was more supportive as far as whatever I wanted to do. He was like, I this is your moment, and this is your experience, and I wanna share this with you. But you're the one that's gonna have to go through this more than I will, and I all I can do is be supportive. You know, he's always been really great about that. Like, he definitely had some a little bit of worry, a little concern, but it didn't take much for him to once I explained it, he just was like, okay.
Speaker 2
Right. And it's such a good it's such a good point around the not worrying because, you know, if the if if you're not worried but the partner, you know, really feels the weight of the medical responsibility maybe being on them or, you know, nobody's there medically to lean on, it's I you know, it's very easy if you are that type of person to worry to fall into, you know, an anxious, not a cold worry if there isn't anybody else there. But if they're not like that and if they're more like, you know, you and I, which it sounds like your husband is, you know, that's just not even a that's not even a place you need to go in your head.
Speaker 3
Right. And for him, like, he felt like he he would say it to other people, like, oh, we're just gonna have it at home and and we're not gonna have anybody. And they're like, well, that that seems pretty manly. And I'm like, well, that's great that it's manly, but it really is more the women that's doing it.
Speaker 2
No. No. It's always about them. It's always about them. That's funny. So so then, throughout your pregnancy, did you seek prenatal care from anybody? Did you do your own? What was it like for your pregnancy then?
Speaker 3
For me, I I decided to still stay with, the hospital care or prenatal care. And I think more so because it's my first time having a baby, I was more like, okay. Let me just have, like, a a a just in case kind of situation just to check. Because I I I did read or listen to a lot of the information about what prenatal care mean and what it takes as far as checking, like, blood sugar levels or eating properly and keeping yourself healthy. So I was doing a lot of the preventative aspects of making sure that you have a a healthy pregnancy, so I wasn't too concerned. And I still went with the hospital care because just in case, for whatever reason, we are at home and things may not feel feel like it was going well, I still have the option of going to a hospital and still be covered under insurance. Uh-huh. So I decided to still go and do prenatal checkups. However, I made it very limited. So a lot of times when I went, you know, they'd ask if I wanted a, sonogram, and I always decline the sonogram. It was very minimal. They never did a vaginal exam. It was it was kinda silly. Like, after retrospect, I'm looking back at it. I just was like, I went in there. They checked my weight. They asked me how I was feeling, if my feet were swelled. Right. Yeah. They measured, you know, my fundus. They, you know, they asked you know, just asked basic questions, and I was like, out of there. And I was just like, oh, this is stupid.
Speaker 2
Yeah. I'm looking you know, check your blood pressure and, you know, really all of that stuff is stuff you could do yourself if you're not
Speaker 3
in another trial. You know, if
Speaker 2
the if the ultrasound and the labs, it sounds like a lot of stuff you declined are the things that, you know, that we would actually need from from that system.
Speaker 3
Right. Exactly. And I I did do the very early one, which I kinda if I did it again, I'd probably never do it. But not that it's bad. I just feel like Right.
Speaker 2
Is that
Speaker 3
ultrasound or the lab? The the ultrasound as far because they the the I was I was concerned of this. The the baby was viable and, there wasn't anything, like, growth wise that was wrong. So they did, like, a, I think, it's a three month one or I can't remember exactly. It's the first one where they check, like, the length of the neck
Speaker 2
Uh-huh.
Speaker 3
Determine if it might have, Down syndrome, because I'm an older woman. I'm I'm well, I was thirty eight when I had the baby. Mhmm. So that's one of the main things they're concerned about with with women that are over thirty five. Yeah. I love that I'm a high high risk pregnancy too. I thought that was hilarious.
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. You advanced mentally. Yes. I know. It's getting lower and lower. It's is it the that's crazy. We're gonna soon have twenty five year old being advanced maternal age. That's terrible. So okay. So you go to prenatal care with with the hospital and, and so throughout your pregnancy, how much did you and your husband kinda how did you walk that line within your own relationship around how much to prepare for if something goes wrong. Because that's, you know, of course, always the question, what if something goes wrong. So where did how did you walk that line?
Speaker 3
For me, it was more just had a lot of positive, positive stories about home birth. Like, one of my go to things was just listening to podcasts about rebirth, about being being prepared, you know, as far as nutrition goes and, what to expect during the pregnancy. I watched tons of home videos on YouTube of birthing at home. Not all of them were were free births, but some of them were. And for me, like, just watching other women do it, I felt like, okay. That they can do it. It is possible. It's not, like, insane that
Speaker 2
Of course.
Speaker 3
That people do this at home or do
Speaker 2
it by themselves. I'm not a
Speaker 3
woman in this. So for me, like, just watching and seeing other people do it, I was like, oh my gosh. That it I see it. I see what's happening. It's in front of me, and it's amazing. So I just I was more mentally prepared as far as seeing positive things because anytime I delved into the, the negative of what possibly could happen, I just it it there was a fear there. So anytime there was a fear, I just maybe read a little bit more about it to see, like, the basics. Like, okay. What if there's meconium in the the sac when, you know, when the sac opens and the the liquid seems a little darkerish or gray or green? And, you know, I'd we research about that. And then I would research about, like, what if the labor takes longer than, you know, forty eight hours because there's always that, like, time limit apparently for when so when they should have their babies. So, you know, we had certain structures. We and we made it really simple. For us, it was more if I'm laboring more than, you know, thirty six hours, then I felt like, okay. Maybe I should maybe I should maybe go to hospital. I have set a time limit. It's more so, like, if the sac broke too. If the sac broke and I was the baby hasn't come out in, you know, eighteen hours, then maybe I should maybe I should go to the hospital. But but we set, like, tiny limits.
Speaker 2
And those are things you discussed with your partner.
Speaker 3
Exactly. Yeah. And, like, those that's all we really talked about is those small little things like, well, if there's something feels wrong and mostly, I was just gonna go by my intuition. Like, I do feel like most women, if they really are alone and they're with themselves and they're feeling what's going on, I think people would know if something's wrong or not.
Speaker 2
Absolutely. And and, you know, as a birth worker, you know, who who's seen hundreds of births, you know, and I don't know how many home births, but quite a few, the ones that have transferred for how do I say it? Not not the ones who are transferring for the rules and regulations to protect the midwife license, but when there's really something up with the mom or the baby, the mom is usually, almost always the first person to know. And it's, you know or the very intuitive midwife, but it it's you can feel it in the room. There is this kinda like, Something feels off. And, you know, it's it's never been anything serious, but I've I've definitely had moms that, you know, felt that they should transfer and, you know, and they thought they were ride or die home birthers, and they thought that you know, and they felt like they should transfer, and they get to the hospital and the baby crashes. You know? I mean, things like that where it's like it it is. It is true, and I love that you could trust that without having all this experience and seeing, you know, women have that intuition, but that you could really trust that that you would know if something is up. And that that's exactly what I'm telling my family that, you know, I just I really, really, really, really can book can rely on that if something is up. I'm gonna know. I'm definitely gonna know.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And I think that for me, like, also choosing free birth, there's a lot of points in my life that I felt like my decisions were based on other people's opinions or, like, they I was chosen for me. So I felt like this was a way to, like, reclaim my power and reclaim, like, my decision making, especially becoming a new mother. Like, you have to kinda rely on, yourself as far as making decisions for you and your baby, and I feel like this was the first step in doing that for me.
Speaker 2
It
Speaker 3
was reclaiming my power. So I feel like that this was the best choice. And, like, the more I thought about it and the more I read about it, the more that I saw other women doing it, I was like, this this is gonna work. This is for me. This is it's important that I do this. And, you know, going back to the fact that, you know, my mom had me at home, the whole reason, like, she actually decided to have me at home was during that time in the late seventies. I was born in seventy eight. She had me in Southern California, but she had started researching about, reading more articles about at the hospital, the cesarean rate had started to increase. And it's just around that time that they had started monitoring baby heartbeat. Mhmm. The early stages. Yeah. What she discovered is that the calibration that they had on these machines that were monitoring the baby's heart rate was off. So there was a higher, there was more cesarean that were happening based on the fact that they saw that the heart rate was too high, but the the machine was off. It wasn't too high. And they didn't discover this until, you know, several years later, but this, this is what she was reading about, that they they found out that that's why there were so many different areas that probably were unnecessary based on Oh, yeah. It was reading alone.
Speaker 2
Totally. Looking back decades later, we know that the the continuous fetal monitoring that was introduced did not save babies. It only increased the surgical stats. That's pretty wild. So that's Yeah. So you had a reference point.
Speaker 3
Yeah. She actually gave she actually gave me
Speaker 2
an old book. It was
Speaker 3
from from when I was born that she read through. And it was the information was accurate. It was absolutely just simple, like, based on, like, what happens during birth, like, the the the plateau and, like, you know, the moment that you feel like you can't do it anymore, that's when you're opening and the baby's about to come. Like, the information that I'm reading or hearing now, even through, like, the podcast, the Mara and Green, you know, Indie Birth podcast, it's related to the same information. I was in my mom's book back in nineteen seventy eight. You know? So
Speaker 2
Well, sure. The the cool thing is normal physiological birth hasn't really changed. It hasn't, but nobody talked about it. Nobody talks about it a lot. Right. So okay. So what about what about, like, any particular equipment that you had or, you know, like like, what what did you physically have for the time of the birth? You know, some women have lots of stuff. Some women don't have anything. What what did you guys choose?
Speaker 3
We kept it really simple. I I didn't I I had read all this information. Like, I I think that I felt like I might need a heart monitor or, like, a one of the, squishy bulbs, three bulbs and
Speaker 2
Uh-huh.
Speaker 3
But I didn't use any of it. All we really used were Chuck Palms. And I had a bouncy one of those, you know, those yoga balls or one of those, you know, the the bouncy balls you sit on. I had one of those, and that was it. It really, like Keep it simple. All we use.
Speaker 2
Yeah. So okay. So, yeah, tell us tell us
Speaker 3
the tell us the story. Tell us about when your labor happened and walk us through your your wonderful successful free birth. Sure. So, just to, start with my husband and I did actually take a Bradley birthing class because I felt like it would be helpful for him to to the knowledge. And it's something important for us to, like, you know, be together and, like, actually have a moment, every week to, like, think about the baby and, like, you know, meet other moms that are going through the same process. And, like, once we were deemed as the people because I told people in class we were doing it as a a free birth. And, a lot of them are like, okay. That's awesome. Like, we're worried
Speaker 2
for you, but okay. Awesome. Well, I knew
Speaker 3
you were on board. And even the teacher was like, that's that's amazing. That's awesome you guys doing this. So we were prepared. Like, we we knew what we're gonna do. And the day that the the the labor happened, she actually ended up coming I wasn't anticipating her to come the day that she did because her her due date was July seventh, and, she ended up coming on Saturday, June twenty fifth.
Speaker 2
And that morning, I had to look up and
Speaker 3
I actually, the night before, we'd actually taken our maternity pictures. Yeah. We went to the the the, the those lights that are in front of the LACMA Museum. Has a bunch of lights that stand up. I forget. Anyways but I remember the night that night, I felt like I had so much energy. And I was like, oh my god. I feel really great. Like, I don't I haven't felt this great in a while. Because normally, like, you know, then you're starting to get a little bit, you know, tired or lethargic. And I was like, I felt great. This is
Speaker 2
I didn't go out and
Speaker 3
dance this night. And we we left around, like, seven PM. But when I was I was doing a lot of changing of my clothes, and this woman, I went to the bathroom at the at the museum to change my clothes. And this woman sees me, and
Speaker 2
she goes, you look like
Speaker 3
you're about to have a baby tomorrow. And I wish I could find that woman and tell her that I actually did have the baby tomorrow.
Speaker 2
That's awesome. Yeah. So the next morning,
Speaker 3
I woke up and I was feeling hungry. I went to, to my third place to
Speaker 2
get some, buckwheat pancakes with honey and walnuts.
Speaker 3
And I was starving. I ate that a lot that morning, actually. And it was probably around maybe two o'clock that afternoon. I started to feel we're just hanging out, you know, what we normally do in the morning, like, a little cleanup and we'll, we usually play cards or we go for a walk and, you know, the normal morning stuff. And I and around two o'clock, I end up feeling like I was peeing. But I didn't say anything to Joe. I was just like, I'm gonna pee. I go to the bathroom. And for a second, I was like, maybe maybe it's just the amniotic fluid. So I tried to, like, smell it, but it for me, I didn't I know people say
Speaker 2
it has a different smell, but I didn't it didn't register with me
Speaker 3
for whatever reason. Maybe I don't have a good sense of smell. So I went, okay. No big deal. And, you know, the time goes by and we're like, hey. You know, there's a soccer game going on, today. Let's let's go to our bar our bar where we met. We met at, this great bar over city called Doctors, and, there's a soccer game. It's the USA versus Venezuela. I'm like, okay. Let's go let's go hang out at the bar and, you know, and watch the soccer game and, you know, because we knew the baby was coming soon, so we wouldn't have too many more times to, like, just
Speaker 2
kinda
Speaker 3
go out and be by ourselves. So
Speaker 2
And definitely not at the bar. Definitely. Luckily, the far allows children, but not many people. Yeah. So so we, you know, as
Speaker 3
we were getting ready to go, and it was around, like, four o'clock. And I remember sitting at the the computer because I was looking something up, and, I felt kinda cramping. I literally let out a little bit of a noise. I was like, oh. And just like, are you okay? I was like, yeah. I just it's it's feeling a little, like, you know, almost like PMS crampy. I was thinking it's maybe just a Braxton Hicks, but, this one felt a little bit more, like, tighter than the normal one. And I was like, I'm fine. No big deal.
Speaker 2
I didn't it didn't still at this point,
Speaker 3
it didn't dawn on me that I was I was in labor or anything was happening. So we get to the bar.
Speaker 2
The best. Let me just say, that is the best for the women. The women who can overlook early labor or not, you know, not notice the order. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You just gain so much time and mental space, you know, versus the woman from the very first second that hyper focuses on every single thing. You know, they they're gonna get exhausted quicker.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Because that's
Speaker 2
the best thing.
Speaker 3
That makes sense. When I think about that, that totally makes sense. So, yeah, I was I was happy to I I guess that I just didn't I just went on with my day, and I think that's Perfect.
Speaker 2
I mean, that's the advice rule of gift, and you just need to do it. That's awesome.
Speaker 3
It was just instinctual, just natural. Like, I don't know. I didn't I guess, because I hadn't talked to too many women about, like, what happens in prelude labor.
Speaker 2
Okay.
Speaker 3
I just knew that certain things would happen. So, you know, regarding that, I had gone to the bar, and we're just talking to some people. And I I still kinda peeing a little bit. I was like, this is weird. Like, I keep just my body just peeing for some weird reason. So do you throw
Speaker 2
out in at this point? No. Okay. And the fluid that's coming out is just clear?
Speaker 3
It's I didn't see it. It just literally just felt like it was coming trickling down my leg. So I just assumed it was, like, a little bit of peak because, you know, I'm full at this point. My body my my belly is full. I just felt, like, this pressure maybe on my bladder that is just uncontrollable, like, whatever. My my I'm peeing a little bit. Okay. You know, that's just what happens, I guess, when you're about to give a baby or, you know, you're near the end of your pregnancy. So I had gone to the bar or gone to the bathroom at the bar, and that's when I noticed there was actually a little bit of the mucus plug. Like, I actually saw, like, a little bit of jelly and a little bit of blood that was in, you know, the toilet. I was like, okay. This is this okay. This is when I first like, this is different. Right. Maybe maybe maybe something's happening. But from all my readings or, you know, people, you know, talking with, other women at the Bradley the Bradley class is that when the the mucus plug happens, doesn't mean you're necessarily gonna have a baby that day. It could be a couple days. It could be several hours. You don't know. So I was like, I I literally just brushed it off. I was like, okay. Well, I'm not gonna say anything because it might it's just it's just showing signs that I'm maybe I'm starting to get ready. To go back to inside, I'm still talking to people. I didn't tell Joe at this point about what's happening or what's going on because I didn't wanna worry him. And I didn't I was like, it may take a while, and I want him to enjoy, you know, us having, like, you know, free time here at the bar and enjoying the game. And, I'd actually planned to leave around, five o'clock. I wasn't going to stay there very long because I had planned to go meet up with some girlfriends in Long Beach for a clothing swap. So he knew that I was going to leave and he was gonna stay there, and he was like, okay. I'll just Uber home later. So I remember sitting in the bar while, you know, waiting for me to leave, and I I just my body just started swaying. Like, I was standing there talking to people, and I'm, like, moving my hips around like a hula girl.
Speaker 2
That's awesome. No one says no one says anything.
Speaker 3
They're just like, you're you're pregnant. You're doing whatever you wanted
Speaker 2
to do. And I'm just because I I just do, like, three For clarity's sake, you were your due date was the seventh, did you say?
Speaker 3
July seventh. Yes.
Speaker 2
And and this was when?
Speaker 3
June twenty fifth. So it was, like, August third.
Speaker 2
The year lower. Okay. Gotcha. Yep. So, yeah, I end up it was
Speaker 3
I was it was thirty eight weeks and, I think it was two days, two or three days. Nice. So I was definitely, like, past it wasn't a preemie. It was, like, it was
Speaker 2
Sure. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Thirty eight weeks is typically, like, the the time frame as far as when your baby is fully cooked, but they'd like you to go to forty weeks, I think. But, so I I was sitting there just swaying my hips around, and I noticed my brain changing as far as, like, being able to hold a conversation. And I remember having a a thought in my head. Like, I'm happy this woman is is talking to me because I don't think I can respond back to her at this moment. Like, I literally were just kinda staring at her and shaking my head, and I remember just not, like, really understanding or paying attention to what she was saying. And I was just kinda smiling and nodding and moving my hips around in a circle.
Speaker 2
That's awesome.
Speaker 3
Does anything. No one asks if I'm okay
Speaker 2
or what is what's going on.
Speaker 3
They just ring me around. It's it's Amanda. She's just doing her thing. And so it came to the time where I was like, okay. I'm I I gotta leave to go meet up with my girlfriend. And so I say goodbye to Joan, and I get in my truck. And as soon as I sit down in the truck, I felt, like, a huge pain. Like, it was not comfortable to sit on my tailbone at all because I wasn't sitting in the bar standing the whole time. And I was like, oh, this is uncomfortable. I don't I don't feel good sitting in my truck at all. So I ended up texting my girlfriend saying, I'm not coming. I don't feel comfortable driving for, you know, thirty minutes to Long Beach. And, I'm also feeling crampy and, you know, my my mucus plug came out, and they're like, oh, the baby's coming soon. Okay. Have a good you know, we'll talk to you later. You know? No big deal.
Speaker 2
I wonder I wonder how dilated you were at that point when you got in the truck.
Speaker 3
I have no idea. I don't I don't because I I've never I didn't get checked by a doctor even, like, at the, you know, the the previous. She never did vaginal exams. I know that some people say, like, their doctors do vaginal exams all the time, and she never did one, which is great. I probably would have refused anyways if she'd asked me.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
Because I just don't no one needs to be up there. More information I mean, it's it's
Speaker 2
it's completely irrelevant. Like, you know, you being crampy and losing your plug, you were to some level of face and dilated at that point, not liking being it wouldn't have mattered what you were the day before. Obviously, things have changed. Okay. So you're in the truck. You cancel Long Beach, and so you head home.
Speaker 3
Well, yeah. I thought about it. I was like, maybe I should tell Joe. So, like, that I'm gonna go back home. And so I tried texting him or calling him, and and the bar's loud, and he probably couldn't hear, so
Speaker 2
he didn't answer the phone. So I ended up just, like, texting. I think I texted him or tried to text him,
Speaker 3
and I, like, I started feeling a little more like, okay. This is a little more urgent. I need to get home. So I start driving home, and it's about a ten minute drive. And the whole way, I had the seat reclined completely backward. So I was kinda laid out with my feet in front trying to steer and, pushing the gas and and stop. So it was definitely a little unsafe, but I needed to get home. And I was like, I'm okay. I'm just uncomfortable. This is what's running through my mind. I was like, I'm just uncomfortable. I just just make it home, and so once I got home, I think my body just knew that I was in a safe space and I was home that literally, like, as soon as I walked the door, like, the the contractions would start, and it was intense. And it wasn't like, oh, oh, that hurt. It was literally like my my uterus started started squeezing in, like, really hard. And there was, like it wasn't like a gradual increase. It was just like, oh, you're home. Let's get to this.
Speaker 2
Yeah. You had already gone through your early labor. Right.
Speaker 3
And I didn't notice. I didn't no idea. So I got home, and I was just intense. Like, I was I I went I didn't I knew that I needed to grab truck pads, so I grabbed some truck pads. I took off my clothes, and, we have Joe had built, our our blood our bed platform to be quite high. Like, it's really, like, three feet high, so all I had to do was lean over a little bit. And we did that intentionally with the fact that labor and just getting me being pregnant, it's easier to drop your feet down than trying to climb your whole body up out of bed. Uh-huh. So we intentionally made our bed really high for that purpose of for laboring and just being pregnant. So I was leaning on the bed, with a check pad underneath me, and just kinda riding back and forth. Like, it was really an intense feeling. Like, I I was I knew that I needed to talk to Joe and contact him, and I need to let him know what was going on. But because the intensity of the contractions was happening so often, like, I could barely even, like, get to my phone to type anything because I had to all I could mentally do is focus on what was happening with my body.
Speaker 2
Mhmm. And did that did that make you feel scared or nervous, or or were you just, like, in survival mode? Or
Speaker 3
I I I was a little nervous. It was more like I I was like, okay. As soon as this passes, I need to I need to be on my phone. And I was also thinking at the same time, I need to time these contraptions. So I was like, you know, you download those apps about, like, you can just time the contraption, push buttons, and it just it was too much for me to do by myself.
Speaker 2
Really? I was
Speaker 3
trying to, like, open the map and try to push the start button, and it was just it just kept kinda rolling. It literally was not
Speaker 2
gonna be breaking. Calling you into its parallel universe, and you have to function with your phone.
Speaker 3
So I finally, like, had a little bit of break, and I was able to, call the bar because I wasn't getting in touch with Joe. Like, I was trying to send, like, texts, like, and call him and there was no answer. So I ended up calling the bar. And I was like, hi. It's Amanda. I was just there. I'm the pregnant lady. Can I speak with Joe? Yeah. Because we they they know us. They we've been there a lot. And so they go outside, and I guess as soon as the the the bartender had told Joe that I'm on the phone, he just he comes
Speaker 2
to the phone and says, okay.
Speaker 3
I'm on my way. He didn't even ask at all. I'm like, what's going on? I'm on my way. And so he took an Uber back. So that I got to the house at, I would say, five thirty. He got to the house at six fifteen. And I remember the moment, like, the time period of me being by myself, it it was nice because I was able to, like, in a sense, like, just feel everything that was happening. But there was that moment where I really had a strong contraction that I had that thought in my mind, like, oh, I don't know if I could do this for several more hours. Because mind you, I I didn't really feel like I was in labor until maybe five PM. Right. So this is gonna be on. It was on, and it it was maybe an hour and a half. And I was just like, oh my god. If this is gonna because, you know, as a first time mom, they use your stories of you're in labor for twenty four hours or more.
Speaker 2
Sure.
Speaker 3
And so my mind is like, oh my god. This this is gonna go on for twenty I don't know if I I don't know if I could do this for next, you know, ten, fifteen, twenty hours.
Speaker 2
Luckily, birth births that are raging like that, that intensely, those are not the ones that last that long. You know? I didn't think about this. Yeah. You're right.
Speaker 3
You're absolutely right. And at the moment, I didn't it didn't I'm I'm sure heard that several times, but I didn't it didn't register with me, and
Speaker 2
I just had a thought. Like, reference. No. Yeah.
Speaker 3
And so, I I had this really intense contraction, and I was like, I wish Joe was here because we had learned in our Bradley class about counter pressure and pushing on the hips, and just being able to massage the back area because at first, all the pressure was in the front of my belly, and then it all of a sudden moved into the back. And it was just a really excruciating pain, and I I was trying to rub myself and just wasn't the same. And I and luckily, right when that movement happened from the front to the back, Joe had arrived. And I was like, oh my god. Thank you. I'm so glad you're here. Please push in
Speaker 2
my back. And he's like, okay.
Speaker 3
But, you know, he's in pain you know, it's not he's in panic not really panic mode, but he was just like, okay. I'm on. Like, he just got into that automatic mode, like, okay. Something's happening here. He didn't even ask. He just knew what was that I was
Speaker 2
a neighbor.
Speaker 3
And and even even before he got there, I I was like, well, I need to rest. Like, in the back of my head, I was like, I know that, you know, before labor happens, you need to just relax and try to sleep as much as you can. So I try to lay on the bed, and my body's like, uh-uh.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Not
Speaker 3
possible. Not possible. Get up. I couldn't even lay down. I could not lay on my side. I could not
Speaker 2
You were in full on active labor by this point.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I had to I had to be standing. I had to be leaning over something. So he got there. He pushed on my my my my hips and, felt like instant relief, and I was oh my god.
Speaker 2
I was
Speaker 3
like, thank you. I'm glad you're here. I need you here. And all I had at that point was I was naked. I had chalk pads, underneath me, and I just kept walking around the house leaning on the wall, leaning on the toilet, leaning on the kitchen counter. I just kept walking around leaning on stuff. And, really, at at some point, Joe, you know, we we did we talked about, you know, where would I birth? And I was like, I don't know. Like, I don't really I don't I don't have a need or a desire to build, like, an altar or, like, a beautiful space. I didn't I don't have a bathtub. I only have a shower. So, like, ultimately, in my head, like, I'd actually bought a, one of those kiddie pools. And I, like, I thought, like, oh, it'd be great if I could have the kiddie pool full full of water and do a water birth. Like, I'd I had no idea.
Speaker 2
I did. I thought of yeah. It was an option.
Speaker 3
I didn't know I thought about the water birth, but I was like, well, we'll have the kiddie pool and you can fill it out because I was thinking we'd have time. And, so that was just out the window to begin with. I was like, there's I have no desire to be in a water right now, inside a water. I I definitely had a desire to be in the shower. So I was in the bathroom majority of the time, and I just remember sitting, like, kinda, like, sitting on the edge of the toilet with one hand, like, propped and, like, my body, like, leaning to one side. And I'd have these these waves. Like, I'd almost have, like, a body roll, and I I kinda never really tried to do anything. I was really trying to be in tune with letting allowing my body to do whatever was natural, and I just wanted to feel it. I just wanted to feel what was happening. And so I would just sit there and feel, like, the contraction intensity. And I not willingly doing this, my body literally just did, like, a body roll. Like, I that, I
Speaker 2
mean, are you on the birth ball in the shower?
Speaker 3
No. I'm actually well, I was at one point, but, I mean, this was I'm mostly on the toilet.
Speaker 2
Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay.
Speaker 3
Sitting on the toilet, leaning with my hand on it, and I would just
Speaker 2
my body a body roll? What's a body roll? Explain that. Paint me a picture.
Speaker 3
So if you can imagine, like, you know, how a wave goes up then crescendos up and then goes down, My body would do like, I would start from my hips. My hips would roll up, and then it would kinda compete to a point and then just roll back down. Like, I I didn't know how to do this move. This wasn't taught in any class. My body just naturally wanted to do that. And I think it was maybe my uterus contracting and the way that my body was helping the baby come down or out, I have no idea. It's just that's what my body wanted to do. It literally was my hip raising up, kinda going out and arching, and then coming back down to a sit. And, you know, I did that probably for maybe fifteen to twenty minutes, and I really got the strong urge of feeling like I needed to to, to poo Mhmm. At that point. And I kept telling Joe, I was like, I I feel like my body needs to poo, and it it it needs to get whatever is out out. So I transferred into
Speaker 2
You mean your you mean your baby? Right. No. I know. Right. That's totally what it sounds like.
Speaker 3
But I wasn't thinking of the baby. I literally still at this point, I was thinking I had several hours to go before this baby arrived. I I still was in denial that the baby was coming so soon. And I I was like, okay. I'm gonna get in the shower, and I got one of those, oh, it's another item we had was nitrile, yeah, those gloves, the, like, the doctor gloves. That was another item we also had. So I had put one of those on, and I I stuck my finger in, you know, up my butt, basically, just trying to push this the the poo out that I thought was poo. And I felt something really hard, and that's when it dawned on me that maybe the baby is actually coming out. And I I had read about the purple line where there's a line that, starts to gradually increase from your anus all the way up to the top of the crack of your your butt. That and that is actually a great indicator of how dilated you are. Mhmm. So I told Joe, hey. Do do you see the purple line, on my butt? He's like, yeah. It's all the way up to the top. I was like, oh, I I guess the baby's coming out. And I told him to look, because at this
Speaker 2
point, I was standing in
Speaker 3
the shower just with the water running on me. And he he bent down and he looked, and he's like, I see hair. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2
I said and
Speaker 3
I was like, do you see my hair? And he's like, no. I see the baby's hair.
Speaker 2
He's like, I'm pretty sure it's hair inside your vagina. Awesome. I was like I was like, are you kidding?
Speaker 3
And he's like, no. The baby's coming. I was like, okay. Like, at that point, like, I I literally like, at that moment when you said the baby I seen the baby's hair, the first thought that ran through my mind is this is unbelievable. I am having the best, easiest labor anybody could possibly have because in my mind, like, I was already prepared to be, like, twenty four or thirty six hours.
Speaker 2
Well, I mean, that's the right way to do it. You know? I mean, I think I I think to really mentally prepare for a marathon and then be pleasantly surprised when you get anything less than that.
Speaker 3
So I at that point, I just started I remember reading about or listening to the podcast and and just letting your body do what it needs to do. Like, there's no reason to push. Like, the whole concept of pushing is was this designed for a doctor when you're laying on your back and you're tired and your body can't do it anymore because you were laboring so long that you have to
Speaker 2
And you're heavily heavily medicated or numb or, you know, that works.
Speaker 3
So I was like, okay. I'm not gonna push. There's no the baby's gonna come out. My baby my body's gonna do what it needs to do. And I think in retrospect, that's what those whole waves, my body rolls were doing was helping my baby push out.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
So I was still standing in the shower. And once I knew the head was there, I just basically did, like, a small little squat. I I braced myself against the wall, and I just closed my eyes and was just thinking, peace, love, relaxation. Like, I just was just thinking about the baby and thinking about my body doing what it needs to do. And I could feel the head drop lower, and it would go in or it would go come out and go back in. And Joe was like, okay. It's coming. I see the head. It it's coming a lot out more, and he's like, okay. Just relax. He told me to relax, and I was like, no. No. No. I know. I know. I'm doing it.
Speaker 2
And are you making lots of noise, or are you being, like, focused? I'm
Speaker 3
not. No. The one time before Joe got there that I had that moment in my head where I can't do this was probably the most intense. I I'm not I I guess I'm just not a screamer. Like, I remember, like, moaning a lot when that's earlier on. But after that, I was really not I was not making a lot of noise. I was more just internal and just being, like, present in what's happening and feeling everything. But I I just I I just might I just didn't feel the need to make a lot of noise. But once the head started to come out more is when I felt what they call the ring of fire, and I definitely felt burning. And I remember going, like, I remember feeling like, it feels I could feel the burning. But it, you know, it wasn't, like, heavily intense, but I could definitely feel a difference as far as what I was feeling before, you know, in that area. And he said, okay. You know, the baby's coming out. And once she actually felt out, it just you really felt, like, this rush of energy just coming from my head all the way down through the rest of my body when she Cool. Emerged. And she, you know, he he he just basically he's he I I I remember thinking, I wish
Speaker 2
I could see. I wish I could see.
Speaker 3
I didn't have a mirror or anything. But what he told me was she came out, her head turned, because she came out with, you know, the the posterior, like, the way the the, I guess, generally, most of those come out with their head back towards the the butt. And, she came out, she turned, and she coughed up her the amniotic fluid, and then all the way came out. Because I think I don't maybe only push maybe not really push, but, like, there was maybe, like, two or three moments in my body rolling because the body rolling was literally what was doing. My body was just doing it itself. I didn't have to push at all. The uterus was doing everything. And the baby just came out. He picked her you know, you know, guided her out and, made sure that she, like she's literally started crying within maybe ten seconds.
Speaker 2
And you're in the shower squatting and he and and she propped into his hands?
Speaker 3
Yes. Exactly.
Speaker 2
And do you turn the water off? No. The water's still going. The water's still going. And so he just basically made sure she was okay
Speaker 3
and then handed her to me. And then that helped me to sit down in the shower. So I'm still sitting in the shower just holding her. And at the moment, we at that moment, we actually didn't know what the the sex was because we didn't we decided we didn't wanna find out, even through all the prenatal care. Like, you know, they they could tell through blood tests or other
Speaker 2
Uh-huh.
Speaker 3
Means. But so we didn't know what the sex was. And it's probably maybe five minutes later, me just holding her and smiling and him taking pictures that we actually looked, like, if it was a boy or a girl. So and we were very I was I actually threw out the entire pharmacy. I thought it was a boy. And a part of me, I think, because, Joe kept telling everybody that, you know, his all of his boy all the men in his family always have boys. Like, no one has girls in his family. And I kinda secretly I maybe wanted a boy to begin with because I'm I'm more of a I I have some girlfriends, but only, like, small close groups of girlfriends. I'm not, like, a girly girl. So, like, a part of me wanted a boy, but I'm now that I have a girl, I'm I'm super ecstatic and happy, and I I love having a girl. But so I was surprised.
Speaker 2
I was like, that's a girl.
Speaker 3
I started laughing because I think in my head, I thought it
Speaker 2
was gonna be a boy, but I started laughing.
Speaker 3
I thought it was a girl. And but I I think it was meant to be because we only had one girl name. Her name is Juniper, and we we only we had that one name, but we had, like, three or four different boy names, and then we couldn't decide on one. So I think it was kind of meant to be the fact that we had it was like, oh, that's the name Juniper if it's a girl. And I think
Speaker 2
it's meant to be in the something. So what kind of what kind of, like, immediate postpartum care did you do? Did you guys just get dry and go lay in your bed? Or
Speaker 3
Yeah. I I was I was in the shower for maybe I feel like it was ten minutes just holding her and, like, making sure she's okay. And, Where did you pass the placenta? So the placenta was still inside me at this point, and, we she he gave me a, one of those, Muslim, swaddles that are wrapped around her. And, he helped me to stand up, And we went into our the second bedroom that has a lower bed, that I just laid in and just cuddled her and just kinda, you know, patted her a little bit. We didn't wanna, like, wash her off completely because I wanted to keep that, that, you know, lovely vernix on her. And, she just started nursing right away. She literally, like, I yeah. I saw I saw a lot of videos about, you know, babies just being able to crawl up to the nipple, and I, you know, wanted her to do that. So it just allowed her to, like, lay on me and and root around, and she finally was able to, you know, latch on for a little bit. And, so we just laid there and was just in awe and excitement of everything that just happened. And she was breathing and she was, you know, pink and everything, you know, looked normal. I didn't have any reason to think that something's wrong or it seemed like it was perfect birth and, like, and it was. And But, Lee,
Speaker 2
did you catch the time of her birth?
Speaker 3
Oh, yeah. So she came out at seven ten. So, technically, me knowing I was like, something's happening at five. Like, I mean, technically, I guess, thinking back, like, two o'clock is when I started trickling some pee, which I thought was pee, but it's probably, you know, the Amalg fluid sack. Oh, yeah. Joe told me that, when she came out, that's when the sack actually broke. Because literally when her head came out, it basically splashed him.
Speaker 2
Sure. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Totally. So my back actually never completely broke a parallel, like, until she actually came out. So, sorry. My husband was pointing at me. The baby's up. That's okay. So let's see. Oh, so we I was laying in bed, and he decided to record me about, like, talking about the book story. And as I was talking about it, the I had a strong sensation of, a clapping. And I was telling the story, and I was, oh, whoops. I was like, my symptoms just came out. It literally just dropped out.
Speaker 2
That's awesome. So you didn't need to, like, get up in a squat or pull it or push or anything?
Speaker 3
No. My body just pushed it out, and there's probably maybe thirty five, forty minutes later after Mhmm. She gave birth. So, yes, so my my total labor, I guess, from two to seven approximately, it it would be, like, five hours. I mean, me knowing that I was in labor was at five. So for me, I was in labor for two hours, but I didn't really you know, I didn't know. And, so it was super quick, super fast. I had no idea it would be that easy. And I I the placenta came out, we decided to we intentionally wanted to burn the cord. In retrospect, we just had, like, a wax panel, but I think that I would have, next time maybe get, like, a soy candle or something because I felt like there was a lot of, black smoke,
Speaker 2
but
Speaker 3
maybe it was unnecessary. Yeah. Then we just used some tinfoil to cover, you know, protect the baby. And we did it maybe about inches past, her her belly button, to burn the cord. And it shook it took a while. It probably took maybe, like, twenty minutes to actually burn all the way through. Oh. But we had waited. It we should burn the cord. We probably waited at maybe about three and a half hours after the placenta came out. So she was, I mean, she was just sitting on me just chilling and sleeping and eating every once in a while until we decided to burn the cord and, you know, Joe got
Speaker 2
me something to eat.
Speaker 3
We drank some, you know, drank some fluids. We're just happy and just content. And then that's we had also discussed previously that maybe we should take the baby to the hospital after the birth out of you know, just in case, like, maybe there's something wrong. And, you know, so we talked about doing that. And I was like, okay. Well, at this point, it's, like, eleven o'clock at night. But let's just go, you know, just because I feel like it's my first baby. I don't know. Maybe there's they need to do some checking on it. But so when we went to the hospital, they were very much concerned that we brought the baby in. And I had the baby several hours ago, but didn't say anything.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
So, I mean, they seem very nice. But at first, like, the initial check-in nurse, I had brought the baby in with in the in the baby carrier, and I have the placenta. And she seemed very nervous, like, when I was talking about it. And I was like, oh, yeah. We she asked me, like, how we cut the cord, and I was like, oh, we burned it. You know? And she's like, that's not okay.
Speaker 2
I was
Speaker 3
like, no. It's fine. Everything's fine. She's like, no. It's not.
Speaker 2
She was very upset. I
Speaker 3
was like,
Speaker 2
that is not what we did. Yeah. And so did you have to play it as you had such a quick birth, you couldn't get there, or were you honest about yourself?
Speaker 3
No. We we weren't. We I was concerned about, you know, the signativism of wanting to do it at home. So clearly, we said that, you know, I just the bay the labor was really fast. Technically, it wasn't a lie. It was really fast. But that you know, I didn't say that we intentionally wanted to have it at home. It's just that it came so fast that we decided to stay. Mhmm. And then my husband said he couldn't find scissors, which is why he burnt it. Burnt the cord. So I I'd actually also, when I was in prenatal care, had tested positive for,
Speaker 2
Hey. You're you're breaking up just a little bit.
Speaker 3
Oh, sure.
Speaker 2
So you're sorry. You tested positive for GBS?
Speaker 3
Yes. I did. Uh-huh. During the prenatal care. And I knew about that. I I done a I had done a lot of research as far as what the test is, concerned about it. And, I had decided that it wasn't gonna be a huge concern for us giving free birth if, the sac wasn't open for a certain amount of time. So I think that's when the most exposure happens because the transfer from the vagina anus area to the baby is more exposed if the sac's open. So that was gonna be but that was, like, the breaking point as far as why we wanted to go to the hospital if the sac had been open for several hours.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
So but once I got there and they knew about the GBS being positive, they wanted to immediately start administrating antibiotics to my baby, and I had refused. And at that point, I guess, the pediatrician was upset or concerned that I didn't wanna give the baby antibiotics. So, they end up calling Child Sector Services on us. So we had to wait there until they got there and, started interviewing us about, like, what had happened and why we didn't wanna give, antibiotics to the baby. And I had explained to both the CPS supervisor and the doctor about I'd read, Sarah Buckley's, general birth, general mothering book, and she had a lot of great information about GBS, how even, like, Europe, they don't automatically test everybody.
Speaker 2
Right. They
Speaker 3
only do it if it's if you're a high risk, which means you've had, diabetes or, you know, they've you've had problems in the past. So I told them explained, like, I don't feel like she's a high risk for possibly having GBS. And I know there's this forty eight hour window of signs being shown, so I would prefer to wait the forty eight hours before administering any type of antibiotics to see if she even has it. Like, what's the point of administering antibiotics for something you don't know if she has or not?
Speaker 2
And did you No. Did you know to anticipate this because you knew you had tested positive and you knew the routine response in America was antibiotics? Were you were you, like, prepared for coming into the hospital that they would wanna give her that?
Speaker 3
No. Actually, I didn't. I knew that if I got if I knew I knew that if I labored in the hospital, they would give me antibiotics during the labor process. Mhmm. But I didn't wanna have either. But I didn't know I did not know that they would want to administer the baby directly antibiotics if they weren't able to do it during labor.
Speaker 2
Right. Okay.
Speaker 3
That I did not know.
Speaker 2
So they call CPS. You're there in the middle of the night. You talk with everybody. You decline antibiotics. Then what happens?
Speaker 3
So I felt pressured to stay because they kept telling me you're free to go if you really want, but, you know, your baby's at risk for potential problems, if you leave. And, I think they admitted
Speaker 2
her or you?
Speaker 3
Not technically. No. They just they kept telling me that, like I think that there was a lot
Speaker 2
of a little bit of
Speaker 3
a fear factor because CPS was called
Speaker 2
Of course.
Speaker 3
That, that there might that they might take the baby away from me if I didn't decide to stay. And I don't I don't that's how I felt. I don't know if I remember exactly because everything was a blur, and it's been a while a while. I just don't remember that if that was actually said or that's just how I felt. That's that's an impression they gave me that they would take the baby away if I didn't decide to stay. So at that point, I was like, I I don't want antibiotics, and I will find whatever waiver you want me to sign. But, you know, we we can do a blood culture. So they end up, like, taking a blood culture from the baby just to determine whether she has GBS or not. And, so I ended up staying in the hospital for forty hours just to see if the baby potentially might get g you know, any GBS symptoms. And, of course, she didn't because she, you know I don't know. That's the thing with GBS is you don't know if you actually have it when you go into labor because they test you several week. They test you, like, three
Speaker 2
to five days a week.
Speaker 3
It comes and goes. So there's no there's no test to say, well, why can't you just test to see if I have it now versus Yeah. Seeing if the baby has it or not and automatically going to a rescue stamp of administering antibiotics or something that she may not have. Because I'm I'm really I'm I'm really, you know, interested in the whole gut flora aspect of, like, that Mhmm.
Speaker 2
Your gut
Speaker 3
flora really influences, like, how your brain works and how your your body reacts to proteins.
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3
So I was really against administering, any kind of antibiotics to her because I've spent so much time, like, having my own gut flora, prepped and well for her because I know that during, you know, pregnancy, she does get probiotics for me as well.
Speaker 2
Totally. I mean, I you know, and I was a doula.
Speaker 3
Like, I
Speaker 2
can't tell you how many times I've seen women fight for their vaginal birth and then get the erythromycin on the baby's eyes and, you know, baby gets formula and they get the antibiotics for GBS and it's like, okay. Well, we just kinda wiped out a lot of the things that they're Right. For vaginal birth.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So, yeah, I had to decline, like, the eye stuff. I declined vitamin k. I declined the heaping shot. I declined everything.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 3
And, you know, they're they're probably just taken aback the fact that I didn't wanna do anything that they would normally do. So I don't know.
Speaker 2
You were there for forty eight hours?
Speaker 3
Yeah. And it was it was it was I I could've been at home. I would have much rather been at home because all she did was sleep and eat, and we were uncomfortable in a different bed. And people came in every once in a while to check on us. You know? It was it was literally, like, not necessary in my in my eyes. Like, I could've done all this stuff at home. Like, I understand the concern, and I understand that they want to make sure the baby is okay. And probably their baby is their first priority in a sense because it's a newborn. But they seem that for
Speaker 2
a newborn exam, essentially?
Speaker 3
Yes. Exactly. In retrospect, I wish I would have gone because I I'm intuitively known. But she wouldn't have gone? I wish I would not have gone because intuitively, like, I she was she she latched on. She was eating. She was pink. She was breathing. Like,
Speaker 2
I
Speaker 3
mean, like, you know, I mean, it's just normal.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And then, you know, for anyone listening to this or for, you know, you in the future, you know, you could also do a newborn exam yourself or hire a midwife, you know, to come over and do a newborn exam at home in bed or Yeah. Something like that.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And and, like go ahead. I I well, I I and, also, like, what I've learned as far as, like, getting your birth certificate is that you also need to have a doctor's exam within forty eight hours. Like, I kinda wish I would just stayed at home and then taken her to a different doctor, like, not through, like, Kaiser Permanente or whatever, you know, whatever insurance that I had. I'd rather just gone to a personal doctor to do a checkup exam, like, several Sure. You know, hours later. Sure. Because yeah. So that that was the only reason why partly why I wanted to do the exam as well is because for the birth certificate, they require you to have some type of doctor exams. And, yes, the baby's viable. Yes. It's living. And, yes, it came from this mother. So proof positive.
Speaker 2
Which also a midwife can do. You know? Yeah. So Yeah. Yeah. I was just lastly wondering how in the wake of your free birth, how's it made you feel in terms of feeling connected or disconnected to other moms? How's what's the response been like from your from your community, and how has it been to share your story?
Speaker 3
It's it's been interesting. A lot of people are taken aback by the fact that I I decided to home birth, or, well, free birth more so, alone home birth, especially for a first time mom. A lot
Speaker 2
of them are
Speaker 3
in awe. Like, they're more curious, and they are happy to hear that everything went well. But a lot of them are saying, wow. I I don't know if I could do that. I'd be too worried that something might happen. And I think that's the number one, reason why a lot of people don't do it is because of the stigmatism of what if. What if something bad happens? And and lots of laughter hearing my story, they're like, wow. I I maybe I'll do that for my next time, or I wish I could do that, you know, for next time that I have the baby. So, you know, I feel, you know, I feel really happy that I made the decision that I did. Obviously, if something had gone wrong, like, it'd be a whole different story, a different perspective, and, you know, what had taken place. But I had such a fast birth and easy birth in my my aspect, especially being an older woman. And I'm not super, you know, in shape. Like, I'm I'm a two hundred pound woman. Like, I I but I I took the the time to eat properly. I walked four days a week for an hour, and I monitored as far as how everything was happening and how I felt. And
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
I I I felt like I was in control of happening in my body. Everything was the most important reason why I decided to do the rebirth is I wanted to feel everything, and I wanted to be present. And I didn't want anybody else telling me what's happening with my own body because I knew that I would feel it. And that's mostly why what I tell people is a simple short answer why I did it that way. And I I don't feel like I'm, you know, shunned or taken, you know you know, that they don't wanna hear it. I think most people are interested, but they don't they don't realize that it could have possibly happened that way. And I think more people are like, wow. That's great that it everything went well and you have such a great
Speaker 2
Right.
Speaker 3
Like, you took some
Speaker 2
massive risk.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 2
Totally. Well, you know, your your birth really is a a beautiful example of true intuition and, you know, really claiming your choices and and your you know, knowing yourself and knowing what was gonna put you in the right head and heart space, and and, of course, that's why you had a wonderful birth.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I think that because I didn't I didn't worry too much. I focused more on the positive aspects of how birth can happen beautifully, and it does happen for majority of women. I think that, you know, there's a high percentage of women that just have normal births, and
Speaker 2
if you just let be and let alone
Speaker 3
and do what your body just needs to do, then it'll just come out and it'll be happy and and it'll just happen. You don't need anybody else there as long as you're willing willing to just be present and be there and to have, like, someone with you that you can trust and is on the same page, then you you can do it. Any anyone that can do this.
Speaker 2
Do this with a normal pregnancy. But that's just normal pregnancy.
Speaker 3
That's that's just normally happens. And, obviously, if there are anything that that you have as a norm, then, yes, you might need a little bit of intervention, a little, you know, help along the way. But for the most majority women, you can do it.
Speaker 2
Well, thank you so much for sharing your story. I really appreciate it. It was beautiful to hear hear it all, and I'm just so so proud of you.
Speaker 3
Thank you. I'm I'm happy to share the story, and it and it's nice to share it nine months later because everyone is to hear the story, you know, once you have the baby. But I find that I'm afraid people don't really ask about it as much. And I think it's just because they're learning more about the baby than the birth experience.
Speaker 2
But Sure.
Speaker 3
It's important to still share your story and and still tell people about it because the more that we talk about birth and and the more that we share our experiences, better that people are more aware of it, it doesn't seem odd or it doesn't seem taboo to talk about. They think people are afraid to ask the people about your story sometimes. We don't know. We don't know if they had a bad experience or a good experience, but either way, it should be shared.
Speaker 2
Well, thank you for being a voice. I really appreciate your time, and it was wonderful to have you on today.
Speaker 1
That's it for today, everyone. Join us next week for another episode of the free birth podcast. Thanks for joining us, and remember, your body, your choice. Lots of love.
