Speaker 0
Welcome to the Free Birth Podcast, a supportive space for people who are learning, exploring, and celebrating their autonomous choices in childbirth. Together, we'll unpack truths, share personal stories, and claim our ability to birth freely and intuitively. Here's your host, Emily Saldea.
Speaker 1
Today on the show, we have Kelly, AKA steamy chick, the woman behind the new yet ancient vaginal steaming movement. I have been hearing women rave about the benefits of vaginal steaming for years and was thrilled to find out that this badass mama had also free birthed her two children. Kelly shares how unacceptable she was treated by her doctor in her first pregnancy and how she ultimately decided she wanted to rely on her own instincts and see what birth was really about. And of course, we get into vaginal steaming and how it can be used for postpartum healing.
Speaker 2
So when I got pregnant and I started to think I I wasn't well, I work I work as I worked as a a promotional tour manager. And so my insurance, you know, I might have insurance for a couple months, and then I wouldn't have insurance. Right? So I didn't really have, like, I didn't have insurance when I got pregnant. And so, you know, I had, like, medical. And so I started to look around for doctors, and I started to visit all of the doctors in my area. And the clinics that I was going into, I just I just didn't see it. I didn't see anybody in those clinics, whether or not they were wearing scrubs touching me. I didn't like the way they were talking to me. Yeah. I just I didn't see it. I didn't see it. I couldn't imagine my son in any one of those spaces even receiving prenatal care. And, and so I, you know, started to think, okay. Well, I'll do a home birth. And so I was looking into, you know, midwives and looking at the cost of midwives, and I'm like, jeez. You know, I really wanna pay them what it's worth, but I don't know if I have that, you know, because it's obviously a range. And, you know, the top range was above, you know, what I could do. And the bottom range is, like, putting all my money into, you know, into a midwife. So, so, anyhow, I was just, like, really, like, looking at the different options. And I I remembered something that my my sister had said. My sister I have a twin sister, and she had had a baby a couple years earlier. And I remember when she was pregnant, she was just like, I wanna kinda wanna just give birth like a cat. She's like, you know, the cats used to just go off. She's like, they'd be pregnant and then they just disappear, and you knew they were off giving birth somewhere and then you'd have and then you'd find them a couple days later with kittens. She's like, that's how kind of, like, instinctively how I wanna give birth. And so when I was pregnant, I remembered that she said that, but I also had that feeling, like, just yeah. Like, I just wanna go off and give birth by myself. I didn't wanna be surrounded by people, not even a midwife, not a doula. I just didn't want anybody there. I didn't want my sister there, my husband. I was looking at him, and I'd just be like, do I want him there? You know? I just instinctively, I had this feeling like I just wanna be alone. And so when I was looking at the birthing options and none of them, you know, none of them, like, appealed to me, I just kinda started to get this feeling like, okay. Yeah. Like, what if I did just do this alone? And I didn't actually know that people did it. I didn't know about free birthing. So, randomly, one of my friends contacted me, and she's like, hey, Kelly. My friend Piper found out you're pregnant, and she wants to talk to you. So Piper Lovemore is a friend of a friend. She's a doula. She's actually an Oahu. And she contacted me, and she's like, hey. I hear you're pregnant. You know? And you know how doulas are. You guys are so excited about pregnancy. So she was just, like, a friend of a friend that was chatting with me, and, turned out she had, one hospital birth and four unassisted births. And so what I was like, you did what? And she was like, yeah. And so she was like, if you want any more information, like, I'll tell you all about it. So she ended up telling me all about, you know, free birthing. And she kind of, was like a she was a she was a a doula figure to me, just from a distance by sharing her her stories. And, and, you know, once I once I learned about what she did and that this is something people do, I kind I found a Facebook group of women doing it and whatever. Once I learned that this was a thing, I was just like, yeah. I'm doing this. I'm doing this. So my, one of my best friends is a a family MD. So I had remembered that her mom gave her a book, and the the name of the book was Where Women Have No Doctor. So, you know, my friend, she's really unique. Her and her she's she's a she's from the US, but she was born in in in, I forget which country, but somewhere in, Western Africa. And so, so, you know, she has she has that background. She was she used to live in a village. So her mom brought her this book about how doctors basically practice in a village, where there aren't, you know, when there's when there aren't where there aren't medical facilities. So I remember thinking I had never looked at the book, but I remember her getting the book. So I actually snuck to my friend's house. I had a key, and I, I went in when she was at work, and I stole the book from her. So I took it home. And it's like, yeah, it's like if if a woman is giving birth, you need these couple things. It was like you need some towels, you need some soap, You know? And you need some scissors or a knife to cut the cord. Like, it's just, like, very basic. Like, these are the couple of things you needed, and hot water to disinfect, like, whatever you cut the cord with. And I was, like, reading this, and I was just like, yeah. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. That's why would you need anything else? You know? And so, so after a little while, I told my friend that I had stolen the book from her, and I told her what I was thinking. And she was just like, you're crazy. You're crazy. And I was just like, you know, like, just laughing. And I was like, I don't know. You know? I did have a doctor. I did actually end up doing prenatal care, and I went all along the way. And, and what I told people was, I have a doctor, so I can birth in the if there's any problem, I'll go to the hospital. But if there aren't any problems, I'll just do it at home. Although I knew that I was gonna do it at home. Yeah. Like, I, you know, spell with my plan. So, anyhow, in that book where women have no doctor, it talked about, the issues. There are a couple issues, like, to look out for. Like, if the water breaks and there's meconium in it. If the water breaks and twenty four hours later, you know, the baby hasn't been born yet. You know, just a couple different things that you have to look for that there might be an issue or that the woman or the baby might be in trouble. And so, you know, I, like, you know, wrote out that list, and I had it on the wall, and I memorized it, and, you know, other than that,
Speaker 1
And even those are totally subjective and often not issues. So those are still just, like, averages, you know, guide like, medical medical guidelines.
Speaker 2
Right. Right. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. So, so anyhow, I just started to get my supplies together and, Wait. And what
Speaker 1
is your partner feeling about this?
Speaker 2
So I asked him. I mentioned it to him. I was like, hey, babe. I was like, what if I just, like
Speaker 1
Went full cave woman. Yeah.
Speaker 2
I was like, what if I just had the baby, like, right here at our house, like, in our bathroom or in the bed or something? I was like and he was like, I always wanted to be a baby doctor. That's what he said. He was like, yeah. When I was a kid, I always used to say I wanted to be a baby doctor. And I was just like, okay. And he was like, yeah. He's like, you know, I'm down. Cool. And, and so that's all he said. And then, like, you know, a couple months later, I checked in with him again. I was like, you're really cool with it? And he was just like, yeah. Like, he was just, like, really really kick back and relaxed about it. So, you know, I don't know. I I do find, like, people really focus a lot on the partner, and I understand it's the partner's baby too and everything. But at the end of the day, nobody can help you. I see, you know, I see a lot of women in birth situations. I've attended a couple births. Just my my my sisters and my friends. So three. I'd I'd only ever I'd I'd attended three births just as, you know, just as a friend. And it's like what really what really, resonated with me is that the woman has to do it herself. Nobody can help her. And I've seen women in birth be like, help. Help. Help. Mhmm. I can't I could you know, I don't, you know, I don't understand that instinct. Like, in birth, you are just like, oh my gosh. I need help. Like, somebody help me. But, really, the other people are just distractions because the woman has to do it herself. She has to do it herself. And so I was just thinking about myself. And when I'm, like, really when I really need to get something done that's really hard, I like to just I don't like any distractions. Mhmm. I'm just not the person that wants somebody holding my hand and going, you can do it. Like, usually, I'm just like, shut up. Yeah. I do. You know? So I know that about myself. And so I just, so I was just like, okay. I understand that birthing is probably gonna be the hardest thing I ever do. I understand that I need to do it. Like, I'm going to need to do it and that no amount there's no supplies that are gonna make it better. You know what I mean? Like, at the end of the day, like, I'm gonna have to do it. You know? And so, so so that's that's what really, that's what I really took away with me when I had seen other women birth was just like, man, like, there's nothing that we can do to help her. Like, she's just gonna have to do this. So, anyhow, I went into birth like that. And, yeah, my husband, he was down. He said he he didn't mind it. So he the the the plan was he was gonna catch the baby, and, and he did it. He did catch the baby. I I didn't I didn't labor with him. In fact, I didn't read anything about laboring or birthing positions or anything. I just wanted to, just depend on my own natural instinct. You know, like, when you I always just feel like if you follow your instincts, you know, you're gonna know what to do. And I didn't want to, I didn't wanna actually think about other people's situations. Mhmm.
Speaker 1
Well, you obviously think
Speaker 2
about, is this right or is this wrong? Or you
Speaker 1
And you already clearly have established within yourself a trust in yourself and a relationship to your own instincts, you know, and that that's where it can get really powerful, you know, when you already know that you have the ability to listen to your instincts. A lot of women don't know that yet, you know, and maybe it comes out in labor or maybe they do the help me, help me and turn to everybody else, but sounds like you were really available and and interested and committed to, you know, turning into this self knowledge that you already knew that you were gonna have, which is so cool.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure. Like, sometimes I think about it, and I'm not exactly sure where it came from, but I was just like,
Speaker 1
you know, like, what was your like, billion years of biology. You know? I mean, it's within all of us. It came from your your ancestors and your your everything. But as you know, like our culture has so successfully, what's the right word, like dumbed it down, you know, and not in all of us, you know, but it's it's I talk a lot about like that this is the rewilding, you know, this is the the wild woman that you had a connection to that voice that was calling within you to connect to the wild woman, which is in all of us.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was just I was kinda secretive about it. I didn't tell anybody when I went into labor. I just, I went into labor. It was, like, at, like, six o'clock in the evening, and I was cooking dinner. And, and I started to feel, like, some little contractions. And I had I had actually felt contractions, for, oh, I don't know, maybe a week. You know? I've been feeling these little contractions. She came two weeks after the due date. So, so the due date was February fifth, or February fourth, and I ended up having her on February nineteenth. And so that was very interesting. I wasn't going into labor with her, with my firstborn. I wasn't going into labor, and, you know, I knew that, you know, there's there's time. So I actually did have a freak out. I had a freak out, like, around the day ten on February fourteenth. I was like, oh my gosh. What if something's wrong with my baby? Like, what Actually, I knew nothing was wrong with the baby because she was, like, you know, kicking. I'd stopped going to my doctor's office at about eight months because they, were starting to, get really annoying.
Speaker 1
To say the least. They were
Speaker 2
well, they were okay. I was in a Medi Cal I was in a Medi Cal I had a Medi Cal doctor, and, I don't know if the women were uneducated in the office, but they treated all of us like we were uneducated. And it was all brown women in the office. I didn't get any respect. Yeah. You know? So I don't know. Those listening, I'm a I'm a black woman. And, there's just, like there was just the nurses wouldn't introduce themselves. The doctor came in and started barking orders at me without, without introducing themselves. You know, just just yeah. Like, you know and so I actually had an issue. They they wanted me to go in because I have, there's a history of diabetes in my family. They'd wanted me to do, some more diabetes testing. And I was like, no. Thank you. I did the first round, and that sucked. I'm not gonna do it again. I don't wanna drink cough syrup. Like, I don't wanna drink that sugary syrup stuff. Like, I don't think that's healthy for me. I know it's not healthy for me.
Speaker 1
You know? For sure not.
Speaker 2
And the doctor got so mad that I refused the second round of testing that he started saying that, my baby could die. And he just started saying all this stuff that was just really, really inappropriate. And, you know, little does he know that I have a master's degree, and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. He shouldn't have been talking to any woman in the office like that. But I know my rights. So I I I looked at him point blank, and I said, are you saying that you will not continue to see me as your patient if I don't take this test? And so he, like, kinda jumped back, and he goes, no. He said, I have to you know, he said, that's he said, you you, he says he he he basically acknowledged that that was my choice. He says, well, no. I can't say that I won't see you if you won't take that. He he said, but he said, what do you think that I'm supposed to do? He said, I need these tests to determine whether or not you're healthy. He says, you might as well go to another doctor. Right? He says, if you're not gonna do what I say. So but he so he you know, like, so then it's like, at that point, he kind of realized that I actually knew a little bit about my rights. And, and so then he said he said, basically, they told me not to come back because I didn't wanna take that test. So anyways and and I had already taken it once, mind you. And then here the ridiculous part was I hadn't gotten the results yet. I had taken it at four months. Here I am at seven months, and they were like, oh, we'll have the results for you next time. And I was like, why are you guys ordering another test when you haven't given me the results of the first one? And they were like, well, that's standard practice. And I was like, yeah. It's also standard practice to look at the results of the exams. Right? So this is where they they started to get in trouble with me for the their their negligent treatment.
Speaker 1
That is not standard practice.
Speaker 2
Okay. Yeah. No. It's not. And so, so anyway so so then they started to be, like, at eight weeks, they were like, you have to come in once a week
Speaker 1
Eight months.
Speaker 2
So we could check maybe eight months. Yeah. And I was just like, no. I'm not doing that. So I just stopped going in. We had too many problems.
Speaker 1
Did you have, like, a formal breakup, or did you just literally No. Ghost? No.
Speaker 2
I just stopped going in. Yeah. I just ghosted. I just ghosted. My ongoing joke because I should go back in and be like, I'm still pregnant. Yeah. Help me. Can you can you do it to me, please? Anyways yeah. So I just disappeared and stopped going in. So how many hold on. Hold on.
Speaker 1
Ten days? How many years ago was this?
Speaker 2
This was in two thousand and thirteen. Okay. When I started, so then when I was ten days past due, I kinda freaked out, you know? And I'm just like, you know, I started to I did start to research about it, and it's like, it's like an everything says that it's increased danger to the baby and that there could be something wrong, why the baby hasn't been born and whatever. And so, anyhow, I just started to do everything I could. I actually did a vaginal steam, and I started to do some chi gong. Like, I've something like tai chi. I do, like, the little chi gong practice. I did a couple of different things, just to get the circulation going, and I absolutely had I I wasn't going into labor because of the lack of circulation. My legs were numb. I could barely use them. You know? I had shooting pains, and I just like, it was, I couldn't walk. I remember I couldn't walk to the mailbox and back. Like, it was just so painful. My legs were just really, really, in a lot of pain. And so, and so, anyhow, so I did this vaginal steam, and it helped my legs, and then I started sleeping great. And so I I did vaginal steaming for a couple days in a row. Now for anybody who's listening to this and wants to try it, I only did it for ten minutes. There was no burner, and it was a really mild steam. You don't wanna, you know, harm the baby. But, but it does help to open up the cervix and to get the circulation flowing. And so I think it was that and this, like, little qigong. I was doing this, like, I was just, like, shaking. Like, I was just shaking. Like, supposedly, this gets the energy moving throughout the whole body. And so I was, I was doing this shaking leaf exercise, I believe it's called. And so I remember doing that, and all of a sudden, I just kinda felt like this buzzing. I felt like this buzzing energy over me. And so I was cooking dinner, and then, I started to have these little contractions again, and they they started to get stronger. And that was it. I went into labor, and it was nighttime. And there was never any point in me where I was like, and now I should pack a bag and go down to the car and drive to the hospital. There was never any instinct in me because I had left that an option that if I wanted to do it, I would do that. Well, because But there's
Speaker 1
not Because that's that's not instinctual. Like, even even for even for women who do go to the hospital, it's not instinctual to leave your nest and get in a car and disrupt your whole hormonal pattern. That's not happening off of instinct.
Speaker 2
To be more comfortable. I wanted it to be darker. I wanted to be cozier, you know? Like, that's how I felt, you know, the whole time. And so,
Speaker 1
I do wanna before you go further, I do just wanna say for the listeners that, you know, ten days past your forty weeks is the average time for a first time mom to go. And so, you know, I hear you that your story is that you really felt like those things helped and you for sure were going to go into labor either way because babies always come and labor always happens, you know, like for sure and so we tend to cling on to the things that we did, you know, that we feel helped facilitate it. And I'm not saying it didn't. But but ten days past, you know, forty one and a half is the average amount if if you're having a, you know, an undisrupted tail end of your pregnancy where you're not getting sweeps and vaginal exams and stressed out and all this stuff. That's a very normal time frame, you know, even forty two, even beyond forty two. In the free birthing world when nobody's messing with the mama, we see that a lot more commonly. So I just wanted to point that out for anybody that that there's no you know, just I know I'm a broken record here, but there's no such thing as late in forty one, forty two. These are all normal gestationals you know, gestational periods. So just wanna
Speaker 2
say that. Yeah. Okay. So you go Thank you. Thank you for saying that because I did you know, I finally just got myself together and was like, I'm fine. This baby's fine. She was flipping around and kicking and everything. I'm just like, as long as this baby's playing still playing in there, I'm good. Mhmm. You know? So, anyhow, so, so, yeah, so I went into labor, I so it would be thirteen, thirteen days over what the projected due date is. So, anyway, so, so she was born on the four on on the exactly at forty two weeks. So so yeah. So so I went into that labor that evening, and, and by, like, midnight, the contractions were pretty strong. And my husband, he was around. He was like, I didn't really want anything from him. So, you know, he was just kinda like he came and he was, like, hanging out with me and, like, he was, like, on his phone and, like, just like, I was like, that's a little distracting. So I went and I just kept staying in the other room for him. So we were I actually just labored on my own. And I forget. I think I was listening to music and go as, watching a movie at another. You know? I was just doing whatever I was doing. And so, anyways, when the contractions got strong enough, I started to push. And I told my husband, I was like, hey. I was like, I'm starting to push. I kinda feel like, you know, like, the baby's down there. Well, I was actually wrong. The baby wasn't I was I started pushing too early. So I ended up pushing for, like, a couple hours. And, and so then after a couple hours, what happened was the water broke. My water had never broke. And so I remember there was this one contraction and it felt really, really strong. And then all of a sudden, the the bag the water bag can, it broke and it exploded, and it, like, shot all the way across the room. It hit the the wall across the room, like Yeah.
Speaker 1
It's like a water balloon.
Speaker 2
And so yes. And so what had what I realized is that that water, however it was placed, you know, there's so much there was they had to put a lot of pressure on it for it actually to break, and that had been holding up the the progress. You know? So, anyhow, so, after that broke, I felt that baby as she came right down into the canal, you know? And so then I, you know, I was like, okay. Now it's go time. You know? So then it was about another hour that I was, I actually, I wasn't pushing. My my plan was to push until, the baby was crowning or close enough to crowning and then not to push. And that was because I didn't wanna tear. And that was a, a little tip that a doula who who's one of my friends had shared with me. So she was like, she was like, yeah. She said, if you don't wanna tear, she said, don't push. She says, and then the contractions will naturally just push the baby out, and and your your, your skin will stretch more and more with each contraction. And so, so that the skin won't tear when the baby comes out. And I definitely didn't wanna tear at home. So, so I'd so yeah. So, anyhow, I waited until the baby was crowning, and then I didn't push. And that was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I was biting and screaming into a pillow during each contraction, like, not pushing. You know? Because the instinct is really to just shoot it out like a rocket. Just push it out. You know? And so, so, anyhow, I was on my hand I ended up being on my hands and knees, and I was in bed, you know, with a bunch of Chuck's pads underneath me and everything. And so, so, anyhow, so I went through, I would say, like, four or five contractions from when I was crowning, you know, to when the baby came out. And, and so, yeah, there was definitely a lot of, like I think they call it the ring of fire. There was definitely all of that, you know, during that time, and I was screaming into the pillow. And that was just that was that was the worst of it. And, and then so then the the contract then I had a contraction, and so it was there. It was there, the the pain, the pain, and then her head popped all the way out, you know, to her to her shoulders. And I remember being on hands and knees and I, and so I could see that her head had popped out. And then she, she turned her little head and she opened her eyes. And it was it was so scary. Me and my husband were both like, she's alive. Mhmm. To me, honestly, it was like it was like an amen. What's going on with me?
Speaker 1
So Pretty much is.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And then the next contraction happened, and then the whole rest of her came out. My husband caught her and put her on me. And, and and so interestingly enough, you would think that's the end of the story. It wasn't. So I'm looking at my little baby and all of a sudden, another contraction hit. And, Emily, I swear, this contraction was stronger than the last contraction that I had had to to, you know, where I birthed to the baby. And so this contraction hit me, and I, like, I I almost dropped the baby. I was like, oh, oh. I was like, oh, no. And so I had gone through the whole thing with my cool. Like, I was just cool. I was just cool. Like, you know, even when it was, you know, the ring of fire, I was screaming into the pillow, you know, making that growling sound, and then the baby came right out. But I was all together. But when this contraction hit me and I was holding this baby, I kinda lost it. I was like, what's happening? Why am I in pain now? Like, I just kinda lost my cool, you know? And it was like, it was the only contraction that I wanna say I couldn't handle. Like, I was just like, oh, no. Why? Help. I was like, help. I just told my husband, help. Grab the baby. And I so he grabs the baby, and I was just like, no. No. It's happening. Help. Like, you know? So then I you know, he grabs the baby. And so I was like, started to try to breathe or something. You know? Like, I don't know. Like, I I just wasn't prepared for it, and then another one came. So I started having these really strong contractions, and, I guess it was the, you know, the placenta was ready to come out, But I, I wasn't ready for it. I had used all of my stamina, and I just wasn't ready. And so I actually ended up falling I I I laid down and and, my husband was like, I think you need to deliver the placenta. And I was like, I was like, no. I was like, no. I just don't need to lay down. I'm too tired. So I laid down and somehow I fell asleep. And so, I remember, like, opening my eyes and seeing my husband and the baby. They're laying on the bed and they were just kinda, like, cooing and, like, looking at each other. And I fell back asleep again. And I don't know how long I was asleep. It could have been a half an hour. It could have been an hour. But, but the I woke up to contractions again. And so, I woke up and I was like, babe, I need to deliver this. Let's go to the bathtub. So I went into the bathtub and, I squatted down and the placenta came right out. And it was huge. I've never seen another placenta this size. It was like this huge octopus alien. Out of everything that I had researched about birth and, like, what you have to do during birth, I I had, like, a bag to put the placenta in or a bowl or something, but I, I didn't know what it was gonna look like. It freaked me out. It was way bigger than I expected. It looked like an octopus alien. And when it came out, it was followed with rushing blood. So I was I was bleeding, you know, like, a lot of blood. There was, like, a river of blood. It was really scary. And so I looked up at my husband, and I was like, babe, I was like, go get the pills. So I'll tell you about the pills in a second. And I was like, and just know if I pass out, you have to get me to the hospital. And so, he went running into the other room, and, I had I I have
Speaker 1
a Wait. Where's the baby?
Speaker 2
The baby was on the bed. She was on the bed. Me and my husband are in the bathroom. So he goes running into the other room to our burning supplies. I had included, some these these Chinese herbal pills in my, in my supplies in case of hemorrhaging. Mhmm. So the name of the pills, I call them the YB pills, but in their their long name is Yunan Bio. And one of my acupuncturist friends was like, oh, you know, you should have some Yunan Bio on just in case you, like, have any heavy bleeding after giving birth, just randomly. And so I I got it. And so that was my plan in case I hemorrhage. So he runs and he gets the Unibail pills, and he brings them back. And he goes, and I'm like, you know, I'm I'm definitely, like, freaking, you know, like, I'm in the bathtub, and I was calm, but I was looking at all this blood. And I was just like, this is not good.
Speaker 1
And how were you how were you physically feeling?
Speaker 2
So I, I felt weak. I felt weak, which is why when I got into the bathtub, I immediately squatted because I actually didn't wanna be standing. I was I was, I was lightheaded. Mhmm. So, and in fact, the reason why I had told my husband to come to the bathroom with me was because I was light headed. I was too light headed to walk. So I was like, help me support me. You know, help me get to the to the bathtub. So anyhow so then I squatted right away. I came out. I'm bleeding. So my husband comes back with the Bio pills, and he goes, how many do you want? And I was like, what does it say on the packet? It says take two every four hours. And I was like, give me eight. I just like so he gives me, you know, these pills, and I take them. And, Emily, I wanna say in less than half a minute, the bleeding had completely stopped. Wow. These pills are magical, and I believe that they helped to save my life, or they helped save me from having to go to the hospital. Mhmm. So, so, anyhow, so I took these pills. And then, I I would say, like, a couple hours later, I did start to bleed again. So then I took them again and again. They stopped they stopped the bleeding, right away. So I kept taking them. I think I ended up taking them for about two days. So I did
Speaker 1
it was it was your clear intuition that you were bleeding more than what was appropriate.
Speaker 2
Emily, it was a river of blood. Yeah. It was a river.
Speaker 1
That's scary.
Speaker 2
Really scary. So we did have a really scary moment. We had a really scary moment. Mhmm. But now, you know, one of the reasons when I share this story, people are like, that's why you should have been in the hospital. Of course, the people who think I should have been in the hospital. But women hemorrhage in hospitals as well. Mhmm. You you know what I mean? I hemorrhaged. I had first aid for hemorrhaging, and we we dealt with it just as quick as it could have been dealt with in any situation.
Speaker 1
Mhmm. With a lot less hormonal disruption, honestly, and less trauma.
Speaker 2
Now now that said, I I did hemorrhage because of lack of experience. I I should I shouldn't have been asleep, and I needed to have delivered that placenta earlier. The the the you know, when when women retain placenta, that's one of the things that causes hemorrhaging. Well, I had I I had only retained my placenta. I refused to deliver it. So my husband, my passive sweet husband who delivered the baby and who didn't care if I did a home birth, he, he knew that I needed to deliver the placenta. It was in our birth plan and stuff. But, like, I was kinda the one, you know, in charge of everything. And when I was like, no. I just need to sleep. Get away. He did. He let me sleep. And and that was the you know, that wasn't quite I'm not blaming him, but, you know, it I'm just saying, it was kind of our inexperience. You know? So we did it as the second time around when I got pregnant, you know, I I we put it in the birth plan even if I turn into an honorary, you know, angry woman and won't let you touch me, make sure that I get that placenta out. You know? But we didn't have that issue the second time. The second time, you know, this oh, okay. Yeah. So the second time, it was, two and a half years later. I went into birth. Well, the thing that happened was the the water broke, and I never had the same pressure as the first birth. That pressure of that water sack being stuck right there Mhmm. You know, was definitely a very different sensation than the second. Second time I ate dinner, same, you know, same kitchen, same place. I was eating dinner, and then I was like, why am I so so wet? So I changed, and then my pants were completely wet again. And I was like, oh, I guess this is like a my waters broke. You know? So then, so the the second time I had this birth time, I was like, I'm gonna do it in water this time like a dolphin. Like, that was my that was, like, my plan. So I was like, babe, can you can you, blow up that thing? And I had been having, you know, contractions for a couple days, but they were nothing. You know? So once that water broke, I had a contraction, and it felt like it felt like the full deal. Like, it felt like the baby was already there. You know? It was a real that contraction hit me hard. So I was like, babe, can you do that the birth tub thing? So he he he, put water in the tub. And I got in there, and, I was only in there once or with one or two contractions, but they were so strong. So then I was like, babe, I I feel like I need to go to the bathroom. I just I was like, I don't know if it's the baby or if I need to go, but I wanna go to the bathroom. So he helped me to the bathroom, and, and the baby's head was right there. She was crowning already. Wow. So then I went back to the same bed, and I delivered in the exact same position on on all fours. And she, she and and I didn't push this time. Oh, also, I didn't tear. I didn't tear the first time even with the ten ten pound baby. So then this time, I did my little screaming roaring thing into the thing, and I didn't, I didn't push, you know, when she was crowning. And she came out she came out and, she came out, her eyebrows came out and then she got stuck right there. The contractions stopped and it hurts so bad. I was like, and then finally the next contraction came, and then so so then she actually came all the way out during the next contraction. Wow. So how quick
Speaker 1
how what time frame was that from beginning to end?
Speaker 2
It took it took about an hour and forty five minutes. Wow. Jump when the water broke. And so I had had Brax what do they call them? Braxton Hicks? Mhmm. I had had those for a couple of days beforehand, but there was no progression or no order to it. But, yeah, from when the water broke, it was only two hours. And she was born exactly on her due date. I did some things differently, Emily. So part of my part of my birth plan and getting ready for, for labor was to prepare the month ahead of time. So what I did was I wanted to be lubricated. I wanted to make sure I was going to the bathroom every day because that's a sign that that the body is and the organs are proper properly hydrated and lubricated. In the first case, I had been very dehydrated, and, and my understanding is that dehydration can be one of the things that stalls labor. And this comes from I was I I talk I have a lot of acupuncturist friends, and I read traditional Chinese medicine books. And so there was one book in particular that I was reading, but it was, talking about why labor gets stalled. And it said, dehydration, lack of circulation, and and stress. Mhmm. So, so this time at eight months, I started to make sure that I was lubricated, that I was going to the bathroom daily. And, and I started to make sure that I had a lot of circulation. So I was doing, like, you know, whatever qigong exercises for for circulation and, you know, making sure just to keep, you know, do a little bit of cardio or whatever I needed to do to keep my circulation going. And, and so my second baby, I actually went into labor, the day before her her her due date. Interestingly enough, I I I had all this stuff I wanted to do before the baby came. And then, the day before she was gonna be born, I was like, alright. Time is up. So I just crossed everything. I threw away my to do list, and then I I wrote a new to do list, and it was just, like, half baby. And my contractions basically started right after that, you know? So it was it was almost a mental thing. Like, you know, like that that having that list of stuff that I wanted to do, I think was holding you know, it it was definitely holding me back from from having the baby. And once I got rid of that list, like, I actually went into labor, and had the baby twenty four hours later. Yeah. So, anyhow, so that one was quick, and, and the baby came right out, and there weren't any issues. Then I delivered the placenta. I felt it. I felt the contractions, but they weren't strong like they the other one. I think the the first time around, the placenta, contractions were so strong because the placenta was so huge. It was, like, the same size as the baby. Now the second placenta was small. It was tiny. It was cute. It was just this little cute little, you know, thing. But, yeah, so I started to have the contractions, and so I immediately knew, and I got up, and I I, I delivered the placenta, squatting on the bed. Nice. And so And so there were no issues with, with hemorrhaging the second time around.
Speaker 1
Wow. Those are wild stories.
Speaker 2
I wouldn't do it any other way. Like, I can't imagine. I just can't imagine being in labor, driving to a hospital, talking to doctors, nurses. Like, I just can't imagine it. It's just it's so natural. Like, we conceived the baby in the bed. Mhmm. Then it's like the baby grows, and then we had the baby in the bed. You know, it's like it's like two people became three. It's like this beautiful, beautiful, like, process, you know? And it's very natural. And, and and it was just it was, you know, I treasure it. I I definitely treasure those experiences. Yeah. Now that said, I'm not I'm not a doula. I'm not a birth I'm not any kind of, like, birth worker. And so so, as as beautiful as the experience was, like, I kind of compare that to, like, I I think, like, usually when I say when I say it's bad, Emily, it's bad. I say birth is the worst. Birth is the worst. If you get pregnant, you're gonna have to go through birth, and it's the worst. So you just have to find the best way to go through it. You know? That's that's I know. It's like doulas hate it when I say that, but that's how I feel about it.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I think a lot of people feel that way.
Speaker 2
So what I did after, I had, like, a really big I had a really, I had a I had plans, you know, for my fourth trimester, my my postpartum plan. So, I had a I invited my mother-in-law to come and stay who wanted to be there. And she, she came and she helped with, with the house and with cooking. And, I just kicked it with the baby. I tried to do, like, the, the thirty days of resting. I did the thirty days of resting with both of the babies. So I had, like, I had, the second time around, I hired a postpartum doula and she came and she prepared, like, tea and soup for me every day. The first time around, I had a meal delivery service. I found this Taiwanese meal delivery service and, and they brought me meals every day. And so, so me and the baby, just were able to just relax and kick it in bed for thirty days. And every day I ate soups, I drank teas, all warming foods, and most importantly, I did my vaginal steaming. So, so vaginal steaming, is an ancient practice that women have done over the world, especially for postpartum care. So I met, so I had learned about vaginal steaming from Marcia Lopez. And when I was pregnant, I learned that it was done, postpartum. And I had talked to a woman who was Ghanaian. I had to and she said that they do it for for thirty days for every single day after giving birth and that it helps the body to heal up and get back to normal. And then I spoke with a Haitian woman who said that they also do it in Haiti. So I was like, okay. I wanna do this. You know, I have a vaginal steam sauna. So I said, well, I had a chair I had this chair little setup thing. So I, so I plan to do that. And so I steamed for thirty days straight. And, when did you start?
Speaker 1
Okay. Because I've heard that you were supposed to wait until you were done bleeding.
Speaker 2
So no. That's not the oh, so so there's different, that's not always the case. There's different okay. So I've different people do it different ways. Sure. But the idea is to wanna get the loki out, and steaming helps to get all of the loki out, as soon as possible. And that getting so so anyhow, so what I what I saw was I started the day after giving birth, and I when I steamed a lot more lochia, like, the blood the after the afterbirth blood came out. And then the next day, more came out. And then I think after the third or fourth steam, there was no more lokia ever. When I steamed, it pulled it all out. Mhmm. So this idea that women, have to bleed for, you know, four to six weeks, that's actually I believe it's a bit of a, something that happens because women don't use steaming after birth anymore. Steaming actually gets all of the lochia out Okay. Like, pretty pretty quickly and pretty efficiently. So that was my experience with with both births, so that I steamed, three or four times. And then, after that, all of the loki had had cleared out. So, so, yeah, so I kept on steaming for thirty days. And, what happened by the thirty day mark was my vagina, which I never thought would be is the same, was actually had closed back up to its pre pregnancy state. Okay. So I also believe another myth another myth, just from my experience, is that the body will never be the same after giving birth. Vagina will never be tight, you know, after giving birth. So those were the those were the the, the that was my story. That was those were my results. And then what happened, one of my friends, she saw my vaginal steam chair, and she started and then, since I I had lost all of the weight, within a month of giving birth on with both of the babies, I had lost all of my I I was back to my pre pregnancy weight. Because the I believe the vaginal steaming also helps to, to help with weight loss. So, so one of my friends started to tell all of my pregnant friends, hey. Kelly's got a witch chair. She's got a witch chair. Ask Kelly about the witch chair. You know? And so everybody was like, can this help me lose weight after the pregnancy? And I was like, I don't know. You know? But I I think it probably, you know, helped. And so, and so long story short, I, like, lent out my vaginal steam chair. And then, and then, people started to request them from me. And so this one woman was like, can I can I just pay you and you make one for me? And so I made her a vaginal steam chair. And then, then I started making vaginal steam saunas. And and basically, like, people started calling me from all over the country asking me if I would make them vaginal steam saunas. Nobody in the whole country makes them. And so, and so once I realized that, like, basically, I was I you know, I went from selling, you know, one every once in a while to ten per month. And finally, I I founded a company called Steamy Chick. And, Steamy Chick, this last year, we were selling between fifty to eighty, steam saunas every single because we are the first and only manufacturer of vaginal steam saunas in the United States. Now that said, women are using them because they have cramps or menstrual issues, the majority of the customers that I get. But I always wanna see more people use it postpartum because to me, there was no steam like that steam postpartum. Like, I mean, I've used it for I used it for years before, you know, giving birth and I use it after. But when I gave birth and then I did that steam session, it relieved so much of the achy I I had real my bones were aching after I gave birth. It relieved that, you know, and and it relieved, like, you know, all of the pain in my, you know, in my, you know, vaginal region. And specifically with the first baby, I was really swollen. All of my skin was swollen. And after I steamed, the swelling went down. Mhmm.
Speaker 1
That makes sense.
Speaker 2
Like, then I felt comfortable with my you know, just even going to the bathroom was that I had done that steam.
Speaker 1
I do feel I the only thing that's coming up that feels a little, that's not resonating with me is the rushing, the bleeding release, you know, at postpartum. I don't know that I agree with that that should be rushed. You know, I think there's a reason for there being a couple week period, and it's not always four to six weeks, you know, for everybody, sometimes it's only two, and I think, of course, it's sometimes it's more when women are really pushing themselves, but I think there's a a real reason for that shedding, and and the time that it takes because obviously, we have to look to nature and we have to look at what happens in undisturbed postpartums and in undisturbed postpartums without steaming or anything, just with it what it is, there's a a multi week process of shedding, you know, the the ten months of uterine lining that is still hanging on in there that didn't come out in the birth. So I don't know. I'm I'm just kinda trying to sit with how I I love that it worked for you, and I'm I'm totally hearing this other side of it. But that's that's the only thing that I'm kinda like, I don't know that that that that I I'm not saying for anyone else, just like, I don't know that I would wanna rush that, right after.
Speaker 2
Well, there's no there's no there's no harm to it is the important thing to know. And there's also no harm in not doing it. Right? Yeah. So I was able to so the for me, the benefit of steaming after, after I gave birth to my first baby was that it was able to help me it was able to help to, so I was actually both both of the births, I prolapsed. So the steaming was able to help to push the organs back up into place and to tighten the skin to help to get the organs back into place. So this is one of the benefits. And with my second baby, I didn't steam I steamed, like, on probably, like, day two or three, and then I didn't steam again for another week mainly because it was a hundred degrees. It was really hot, and I was just too hot to do it. And so I had that prolapse was sitting there, and it was uncomfortable. Whereas with the first baby, it was sitting there, and it was uncomfortable. And when I steamed every day, it relieved it. So that's, you know, so that's one of the that was that's, like, one of the reasons why you would do it earlier, even if you're not concerned about bringing out your lochia right away. But one of the benefits of getting the lochia out is that, the lochia can congeal after time, and it turn it can turn brown, and it can get clotted. Mhmm. And once it does that, it can be harder to clear it, you know, in the end. And so when you know, so this the the the first period that a woman has after she gives birth, that period lets you know whether or not the woman had a clear Mhmm. Got all of the lochia out postpartum or not. So if that period is heavy and clotted and has cramps in it Mhmm. Round blood, that's a sign that she didn't get a full uterine cleanse. So now clearing the lochia is a a uterine cleanse. It's clearing out all the rest of the stuff. So if a woman has a period like that after giving birth, that's a sign that she didn't get all of the
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
Locus out. She didn't get a full uterine cleanse after giving birth.
Speaker 1
So what do you think about the other option of waiting until you're at the tail end of of bleeding a couple That's fine too.
Speaker 2
That's fine too. So I've studied it, and I found that women all over the whole entire world, every single continent have done postpartum steaming. It actually it appears that it was a universal practice, before, before modern medicine the the rise of modern medicine, kind of took, took birthing out of women's hands. So it used to be completely, a normal practice. Women everywhere have done it, and everywhere there are different herbs and there are different there are different protocols for postpartum. Sure. So sometime so, like, for example, I met this woman from Palau, and she said that they do steaming for four days, and they do it, at the very end of the postpartum month. Mhmm. And so that was, that one is actually a bit unique because the the majority so I just research. You know? I'm just like, okay. Oh, I found another place where they do it postpartum. How do you do it? You know? And what I found is that the majority of places, they actually start immediately and do it, repeatedly. And that that is, what is believed to help the woman's body heal up back to its pre pregnancy state. Mhmm. So, you know, like, I'm not gonna I I mean, I I think, Emily, I think there's room for it to be, like Interpreted. It well, no. I think there's room for it to be researched.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Well, for sure.
Speaker 2
Right? So only just kind of, like I mean, I I'm the only so just kinda like you're like how I said, you're one of the few people who's, like, paying attention to free birth, you know, and, like, bringing together a lot of information in one place about it. I'm that person for vaginal steaming. So I'm the first researcher who's ever found out that it's universal. Yeah. Nobody knew that vaginal steaming was universal. People were like, oh, vaginal steaming, it comes from Korea. Yeah. Koreans do it. You know? Then other people are like, vaginal steaming, it comes from Guatemalan Guatemalans do it. But they also did it all over Native America. They also did it in Hawaii. They also did it in Europe. You know what I mean? Like, it's actually universal. Right? So then, so so now in the information age, now that we know that vaginal steaming is universal, we need to learn more about we need to share stories. We need to learn, like, you know, how it can be best be used to address prolapse to help women's reproductive, their their elimination, you know, functions return after getting hurt. Maybe waiting the thirty days isn't good
Speaker 1
because maybe the woman's constipated that whole time and the steaming
Speaker 2
can alleviate that. Maybe the steaming can alleviate that. Maybe the prolapse isn't treated as it maybe it doesn't it doesn't, maybe you shouldn't wait thirty thirty days to treat pre treat the prolapse. But maybe if there's no prolapse, maybe you should wait. You know? You see what I mean? Like, you know, I don't know. Yeah.
Speaker 1
And and I've only I've only heard
Speaker 2
learn more about it.
Speaker 1
Totally. And I know it's, like, a very small little subculture, but from what I since I'm in the birth world, obviously, I have been hearing about it and I do know other women that do it and I've only heard positive things about it. You know, I've I've yet to hear a negative story. So that was why I wanted to have you on and learn more about it because I've never done it and, it's it's it's interesting and a lot of it sounds really intuitive, you know, to have the warmth and even like the ritual of it. It sounds really peaceful and intuitive and a beautiful time to give your body, you know, that that steam. I I wanted to ask also with the steam, what what are the herbs? I'm sorry?
Speaker 2
It feels so good. Yeah. Right?
Speaker 1
And it feels good. I imagine it does. And you're so you're you're not supposed to do it in pregnancy. Right?
Speaker 2
Okay. No. But it it no. I did I did it. Okay. So, basically, what happens is steaming opens up the cervix. It relaxes the cervix, and it opens up the cervix. So you don't wanna do that during pregnancy. But you can do it when you're ready when you're preparing for labor.
Speaker 1
And what what are the herbs that you're mixing?
Speaker 2
So the herbs, are different everywhere in the world. Everywhere in the world, you'll find local herbs that are used in that area. So some of the ones that I use, I use rose petals. I use chamomile. I use peppermint.
Speaker 1
Cool. Well, do you have anything else you wanna add to that, or definitely please let us know where we can find you and your website and Instagram and all that?
Speaker 2
Sure. I am at steamy chick dot com. And, on there, I also have a course for anybody who is interested in learning more about postpartum steaming. I have a whole course dedicated to postpartum peristem care and how to do it. Nice.
Speaker 1
And how does it feel to have come out of the closet with your free birth stories?
Speaker 2
Yeah. It feels good. It feels good. I like telling my stories. You know, they're really special to me. It's really, you know, it's really a special like like, I I feel like I carry it with me. You know? Like, it's like a it's like a a strength that I carry with me as I think all women carry that strength with them after they've given birth. You know? But, I I, you know, it's like I I feel like no one can ever take that away from me. It's like I know how strong I am and what I can do. You know? And and that I can always that I can that I can do it myself if I have to, that a woman can turn into, you know, you know, just the toughest the toughest animal there is, you know? Mhmm. And birth on her own, you know, like, that's just something that, you know, like, you know, it just makes me smile. I'm smiling, you know, it just makes me smile, you know, just to think about it. And like, I'm I'm so happy that you are. I mean, thank you for inviting me to share my stories and, and that you're having other women share their stories and that you've created a place where we can talk about this because, and I was telling you this before, I feel completely alienated about it, which is one of the reasons why I don't even normally talk about it. I know.
Speaker 1
And it there's actually, like, a lot of women that do it, but no but not enough of us talk about it because we're all in our own little, you know, section of the world where the rest of the community obviously is not of the same thinking. So
Speaker 2
Exactly. Exactly. Totally. Yes. I'm so excited that there's a forum where we can talk about this now.
Speaker 1
Well, thank you for sharing, and I'm excited to check out your website a little deeper and one day get my vaginal steam on. Alright. Alright. Take care. Thank you.
Speaker 2
Alright. Bye bye.
Speaker 1
That's it for today, everyone. Join us next week for another episode of the Free Birth Podcast. Thanks for joining us, and remember, your body, your choice. Lots of love.
