Speaker 0
Welcome to the Free Birth Podcast, a supportive space for people who are learning, exploring, and celebrating their autonomous choices in childbirth. Together, we'll unpack truths, share personal stories, and claim our ability to birth freely and intuitively. Here's your host, Emily Saldea.
Speaker 1
Have you ever heard of a ten minute birth? I hadn't until I sat with Lindsay and listened to her story. After having four deeply unsatisfactory births in the hospital, she knew she wanted something different with her fifth child. Realizing that they wouldn't be able to afford a midwife, Lindsay chose free free birth and began her life altering shift from playing the good girl to becoming the self assured powerful woman she is today. Lindsay shares with us the story of her most recent birth, her first daughter, that from start to finish lasted ten painless minutes.
Speaker 2
Okay. Well, I'll start with that my mom is a very medicalized person herself. She's a nurse, a registered nurse, and has always worked in an emergency room setting or a doctor's office. She's very diabetic and has thyroid issues and plethora of health problems. So her pregnancy with me was a rough one. And she had maybe a c section in about thirty four weeks. I was born very healthy. I was six pounds. And the doctors were determined that there had to be something wrong with me because of my mom's health issues. Right. So she said my feet were black and blue from being poked so many times to be tested for my blood sugar. And she didn't get to see me for almost two days because they kept me in the NICU trying to figure out what had to be wrong with me. I'm still perfectly healthy.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 2
Yes. And I suppose it's common for, you know, unhealthy mothers to have unhealthy babies, but I hate that that's initially where Mhmm. It has to go, you know. And not doesn't always have to be an unhealthy baby coming from an unhealthy mother.
Speaker 1
No. Certainly not. And I think it actually can be very reassuring to, to pregnant women to find out or to know that, your body for better or worse, your body will prioritize your baby. And so, you know, it, it might be very depleting to us. But the baby is, is quite, quite protected. So, but how so how would you say that this why is this where you start with? What is how did this color, your your experience with your first pregnancy?
Speaker 2
-Uh, I can remember even as a child when my mom would talk about, you know, how I was born, it bothered me. It just seemed so wrong and awful. And I can remember thinking, you know, poor baby me. Yeah, I probably just wanted my mom. And I I knew that I wanted to not be separated from my babies. And I knew that I I wanted better than that. And I felt like my mom and I had deserved better than that also.
Speaker 1
Yeah. For sure.
Speaker 2
So early on, I I wanted to be a midwife. And then somehow throughout the years, that got lost, and something else became more important. You know, we got horses, and I wanted to be a rodeo queen. That did happen, but not, you know, when I was sixteen. So we've moved on from that as well.
Speaker 1
Awesome.
Speaker 2
Back to midwifery. I I got pregnant when I was twenty. And because of my medicalized upbringing, the first thing I did was seek out a doctor. Mhmm. Right.
Speaker 1
It's just what you do. Well
Speaker 2
yeah. And when your mom goes, well, have you made your doctor's appointment yet? Oh, yes, mom. I'm yes. I have. Yeah. Well, the pregnancy went well. I was very healthy. I gained a little more weight than I probably should have. I I think by the end, I ended up gaining almost seventy pounds.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
I was eating unhealthily and kind of just whatever I wanted because, well, I was eating for two.
Speaker 1
Right. Totally.
Speaker 2
And, my doctor was a man in his late fifties, early sixties, and was very much, hello, patient number seventy two. Mhmm. You know, what can I do for you today?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Who are you again?
Speaker 2
Yeah. So there was no personalized care. There was no care. It was just, you know, I went in, I did what I was told, then I left, and that was it. I I went and bought a book, written by another male doctor, your pregnancy week by week, and, you know, followed it to a t, which probably suggested vaccinations and synthetic vitamins and monthly, weekly doctor's visit.
Speaker 1
Yeah. All the stuff.
Speaker 2
Yeah. How to prepare for your potential c section or episiotomy. But I went into early labor around thirty four weeks. And I went into the hospital, of course, because I was contracting, and somebody helped me because I can't do anything for me. But I was young, and I didn't know any better. Totally. And, I ended up staying the night and got on magnesium sulfate, and the contractions stopped. And we went home. And luckily, nothing else exciting happened again until about thirty nine weeks when I went in for my almost final prenatal visit when he told me that my baby was very large and I was very small. And if I continued the pregnancy any further, there's a really good chance that I would not be able to birth vaginally.
Speaker 1
Oh, makes my blood boil.
Speaker 2
And he insisted that I schedule my induction date that day. Mhmm. So predictable. So we scheduled my induction for November fourteenth two thousand three. I was to come in at eight AM, and he gave me, an Ambien to take the night before. Wow. Because, you know, most women can't sleep, so take this.
Speaker 1
Yeah. And that's perfectly safe for a baby. My goodness.
Speaker 2
I'm sure I'm sure it was, and silly twenty year old me didn't think to question my doctor.
Speaker 1
No. Of course.
Speaker 2
So I took my Ambien, like the good girl I was, and went to bed and, woke up very groggy and confused at three AM soaking wet. And I went to the bathroom and went to the bathroom and stood up and couldn't figure out why, after I had just gone to the bathroom, did I pee all over the floor. So I grab a towel and I'm cleaning up, you know, my mess. And, gosh, I make more of a mess. I'm like, what is wrong with me? So I go to get back into bed and realize, oh, my bed is soaking wet too. Oh, no. Dang it. How much water did I drink?
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 2
So I start to change the sheets when I stop myself, and I'm like, wait. Hold on. This isn't pee. Wake up, Lindsay. Wake up. Yeah. So at this point, I'm finally with it and realizing that my water has broken. And wait, where's my husband? He was nervous himself. He had not taken Ambien. He had gone to the store at two AM to stock up before the baby came. Oh my gosh. So I'm home alone, like, doing my makeup and getting dressed. And he gets home with all these grocery bags.
Speaker 1
I like I like try I like picturing you putting on makeup on Ambien. It's like cloud makeup.
Speaker 2
Woo hoo. I was ready. It was gonna look nice for my baby.
Speaker 1
Totally.
Speaker 2
So he gets home, hundreds of grocery bags in hand, and he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, my water broke. Hi. Where were you? So we put all of the frozen and refrigeratable items away and get in the car. And by the time we drive the twenty minutes to the hospital, I'm having regular uncomfortable contraction. And the first thing we do is get into a room and they test to make sure that, in fact, it is my water Mhmm. Which, of course, it is. And then, you know, the monitors are on and, the they're starting an IV and starting with Pitocin because my contractions weren't enough, I guess. Mhmm. And they were in a hurry, probably. The rest of it gets a little hairy because of, I'm guessing, the interventions that happened that didn't need to happen. The Pitocin causes a six minute contraction, and I have, like, three doctors and seven nurses in my room, and they're flipping me over onto my left side and putting oxygen on me and down the Pitocin. I don't think they turned it back on again after that, because I was regularly contracting just fine on my own. And
Speaker 1
God. That's so dangerous.
Speaker 2
It was five AM when we got to the hospital, and, I'd say I was having the six minute contractions somewhere around ten AM. Mhmm. So they they turn everything down and kind of step back after that. And when it comes time to oh, I should add that I did have the epidural, and it was so strong. I I couldn't feel a thing.
Speaker 1
Totally.
Speaker 2
Could've cut my legs off with a butter knife, and I would not have known. They told me to scoot down in the bed. I'm like, I can't scoot. No. Move your hips towards us. I'm like, I can't. Yeah. I can't move my shoulders. That's about it. It was the worst feeling ever. When I'm finally fully dilated and the doctor comes in to tell me how to push, he brings a student in with him and says, oh, she can come too. Right? Yeah. Sure. Okay. Right.
Speaker 1
What are you gonna say? No?
Speaker 2
Yeah. No. Get out of here. Uh-huh. I I could have. I should have maybe, but I didn't.
Speaker 1
Yeah. But but in a way, like, you can't, like, the the power structures and the the authoritative, you know, an expected submission of that paradigm. I mean, Yeah. Maybe you should have, maybe that was actually your truth, but in what world, you know, when someone comes in to deliver your baby, are you going to say no or con cause any sort of conflict?
Speaker 2
No. No. You're right. Authoritative. They do have that authority feeling about them where you almost feel like you can't really say no. Like, it's almost not an option. Yeah. Especially when they word it like, this is okay. Right?
Speaker 1
Totally. And they're all functioning under, you know, this this totally not not legal thing called implied consent, you know, where it's just you're gonna consent to whatever we say or do because you're on our turf.
Speaker 2
And because you're not saying no. Right. Totally. Yeah. So the student is standing watching and he's you know, we're counting to ten and I'm holding my breath and pushing, you know. And the baby's coming down and I'm asking, you know, am I a good pusher? You know? I'm I'm young. I've never done this. I don't know what I'm doing. Only thing I've seen is women giving birth on the TLC channel. And they assure me, oh, yeah. You're doing a great job. So I keep pushing and I keep pushing. And the fetal electrode scalp monitor Mhmm. That they had on his head monitoring his heart rate had fallen off. And they they couldn't get it back on to get his heart rate. And because he was so low in the birth canal, they also couldn't get the external monitor on his heart rate. And so because of that, he goes, we can't detect your baby's heart rate. We need to get him out right now. I'm going to use the vacuum. And so they put the vacuum on his head, and they ripped him out of me. He was eight pounds, fourteen ounces, and my first child. And afterwards, they had to reattach my right labia.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 2
So my first birth experience was one that I definitely needed to heal from
Speaker 1
Yeah. For sure.
Speaker 2
Physically and emotionally. The second was my smallest child at only seven pounds. He was seen I was seen with, I saw a midwife for his pregnancy, and she was more of a hands on med wife. I've heard the term. And, you know, stripped my membranes at thirty eight weeks. And
Speaker 1
What? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2
He was born at thirty nine weeks and was only seven pounds. And, I was the only complaint I have with his birth is I was laying there going, you know, I'm feeling some pressure. Even though I had the epidural, I could still feel pressure this time. Oh, that's normal, they tell me. That's normal. We'll check you here in about half an hour. Your water's broken. We don't wanna introduce any sort of germs, which, yay, okay. But I'm feeling pressure, though, still. She brushes me off again. I I push the nurse call button again. Really feeling some pressure here. They assure me again that's completely normal. Finally, another five, ten minutes go by. I push my nurse call button again. I think at this point, they're just annoyed with me. I'm like, look, I'm really feeling pressure. She goes, fine. We'll check you. So she has me lay back and she goes to check me and goes, oh, god. Baby's head.
Speaker 1
No shit. God.
Speaker 2
And so she goes, do me a favor. Just give me one little test push. His head comes out.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2
She goes, oh my god. Call so and so, the midwife's name. I don't remember her. She walks in the room and goes, oh, hi. And she has one glove on, and I have a picture of it. It's hilarious. And the other glove is halfway on, and she's looking down going, oh, there's the baby.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
Because as soon as she walked in, there was one more push and baby was out and on the bed, and they go, oh my god. Pick pick him up. Pick him up. Because nobody else had gloves on, so they couldn't touch him. And she goes, oh, wow. He's tiny, and the cord's tiny. Were you a smoker? Wow. No. Thank you. I wasn't a smoker. And, yes, he's beautiful, isn't he?
Speaker 1
Right. It's not like he was four pounds. I mean, seven is a perfectly average, normal size.
Speaker 2
Yes. But he was perfectly healthy, and no, I was not a smoker. Gotcha. Third baby, also hospital on a military base. Mhmm. My doctor loved ultrasounds. I cannot tell you how many pictures of that baby I got. He would it was almost like we were buddies. You know? He was trying to do me a favor and he'd be like, hey. I got an extra twenty minutes. You want me to go grab the ultrasound machine? Back then, I was like, oh my gosh. Really awesome. You know? Another chance my baby, and this guy really likes me. How what did I do to my child? But I was begging to be induced with him, which I kicked myself now. I've learned so much since, and the old me is so ridiculous. But I was thirty nine weeks and my mom was in town and I had to have the baby before she left.
Speaker 1
And you don't I mean, if you don't know, you don't know. You know? It's I I can empathize with how painful it it must be to now know better. Absolutely. And
Speaker 2
you were make these different choices.
Speaker 1
Of course. You know? But at the same time, you you were a part of a system that this is just what you do.
Speaker 2
Yeah. It was. It was it's what everybody did. That's what a lot of people still do. Yeah. And, yeah, it's hard looking back. And it makes it even harder sitting here telling these stories Mhmm. Because I haven't since I have acquired these new freeing stories. Yeah. So third baby, I begged to be induced. He was comfortable, didn't wanna come out. They said, you know, fine. Come in. We'll induce you if we have a bed. So we stood in the waiting room for probably four hours waiting for a room to be open so that they could start the induction. We get in there. They start the pitocin. I start contracting. They probably did some membrane stripping. After I was dilated to about a four or five, they came in and broke my water. After that, it was kind of hard and fast, and, they almost didn't get the epidural in in time. And I did end up feeling everything, and it hurt because of the pitocin. Mhmm. Pitocin contractions are regular contractions are nothing compared to pitocin contractions.
Speaker 1
They're torture.
Speaker 2
And he was born vaginally and healthy and eight pounds nine ounces and, in about five hours, I think. And the doctor said, gosh. If I had known it would have been this easy to induce you, I would have done it last week. Mhmm.
Speaker 1
It's like cattle, man.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Fourth baby was born also at a military hospital in Alabama.
Speaker 1
Well, let me let me pause you right there and just say, so I obviously, you're gonna get to the point where, you know, you you started considering something different, but at this point, you've now had three babies, you know, in the system. And is there a whisper inside of you that's like, you know, it could be better? Or or is there or are we about to get to some, like, pivotal epiphany moment? Or is it like a slow drip that it it's coming through you?
Speaker 2
I lived in fear. I I feared my mother. I feared the doctors. I feared, you know, potentially killing my baby. I have to do everything I can to keep us healthy and safe. And what what I was taught and the only thing I knew as healthy and safe was hospitals and doctors. Yeah. Because I didn't have any I didn't have that weird hippie crunchy friend that was like Right. No. You don't need the hospital, man. I I wish I would have had that person, you know. I had my mom who was like, go get your flu shot and go see the doctor extra if you
Speaker 1
can. Right. Just go as much as you possibly can.
Speaker 2
It's the only way.
Speaker 1
Okay. So now you you're pregnant with your fourth, and you guys have relocated?
Speaker 2
Yes. Into Alabama, which is not a state to have a child in. Yeah. The hospital we were at, the, honestly, only thing I can remember about his birth because it was, you know, just like all the others, Pitocin, somewhere between five and ten hours, and fortunately ended in a healthy baby. However, after he was born, they took him and laid him in, like an incubator warmer thing that was in the room next to me, and they put a thermometer electrode thing on his chest and, you know, a hat and, an ankle bracelet so nobody could kidnap him. And they told me, you leave him right here. Don't pick him up. You can't pick him up until at least two hours because he has to reach a certain temperature, and we want him right here.
Speaker 1
I know, man. I've seen that so much. That is the most backward ass shit I have ever heard.
Speaker 2
I honestly think it would be worth the price of the plane ticket to go back to that hospital and find those doctors and nurses and go, why did you make me leave my baby laying there for two hours?
Speaker 1
Well, girlfriend, it and it's not just that hospital. I mean, it that is that is the standard. That is the norm and has been for, you know, for a hot minute that the only possible way we could raise the temperature of a of a new, you know, baby is to be under heat lamps when his mother's warm self regulatory breasts, you know, are are a couple feet away. It's it's it's just women are treated so disposable and all that matters is technology. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Speaker 2
It's the opposite of what we should do.
Speaker 1
Of course it is.
Speaker 2
The baby from its mother.
Speaker 1
I mean, a technological birth is the opposite of what we should be doing. Right? Like, that it's it's it's absolutely insanity. Okay. So you're separated from your little one for absolutely no reason for two hours.
Speaker 2
Yes. We're just sitting there staring at him going, look how adorable he is. We love him so much. And, after I had him, we were done. You know? We were done having babies, and I felt like I was missing something. Not as if I was missing a child, but I was definitely missing something. I I breastfed all of my children well past six months. So it wasn't that I was lacking in any sort of connection or anything like that. I love them all very much. They were all successful nurses. They were all healthy babies. But I really felt like I was missing something. Something was off and I had no idea what it was
Speaker 1
until
Speaker 2
I had gotten pregnant again five years later. And I had a job, so I had insurance. And I at this point, I had a crunchy hippie mama friend and was like, I am totally getting a midwife this time, and I even wanna try to have this baby at home. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, so I'm looking up all the local midwives. And Are
Speaker 1
you still in Alabama?
Speaker 2
No. Oh, sorry. At this point, we are in Washington.
Speaker 1
Okay.
Speaker 2
Okay. So we're in Washington state, and I'm looking up all the midwives. And I go and visit one, and she's super sweet and very calming and almost like a really friendly, loving grandma, you know? And it just felt wonderful to talk with her, and and I thought, you know, gosh, this is it. This is what I was missing. You know, she cares. She's kind of mothering, and and it's more natural. My insurance will not cover it. And so that really didn't work for me. So at this point, I'm thinking I really don't want to go to a hospital, and I really don't want to go to a doctor, but I can't afford a midwife out of pocket. Yeah. And oh, dear. So I happen to be on the phone with this crunchy hippie mom friend, and I'm complaining about not being able to afford a midwife. And she goes, well, Lindsay, you know you could just do it yourself. Right? And I tell you, it was like, you know how sometimes they show that, like, light bulb that goes on over there? Well, for me, that light bulb, like, exploded in the fire. It was like, oh my god. I can do this.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
Because I can. I mean, all they do is, you know, they make sure I'm healthy. I know when I'm healthy. When do I go to a doctor? When I need a doctor. This isn't any different. I'll know when I need a doctor. So that was really my big moment of, oh, I don't need someone else to help me. And so that was the point where I got back into, I really want to be a midwife, and I want to study about all of this and learn all the things. And, I mean, everything from natural living to natural eating and birthing babies on your own and organic stuff. It was like my medical wrong world had suddenly turned right.
Speaker 1
So did you when you aligned with free birth, how did your partner experience that? And and did you share it with people in your family like your mom?
Speaker 2
Getting my partner on board was a chore. He's kind of like me. If you can prove it, he'll go along with it. So we just did a lot of research together. Anything I found that I read or watched or, you know, heard from a friend, I would share with him. And then if he questioned it, I'd be like, okay. Fine. Let's let's study this some more together. And we we would. You know? We would we would Google it. We would YouTube it. We we would find a book and look it up. Any way we could to answer that question or, you know, calm that fear or find out why. So it it was a good bonding experience for us because we learned together.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
And it was less convincing him and more just, well, let's figure this out and see if this is a fit for us and learn everything we can.
Speaker 1
And you can do a lot with an open mind. You know, if your, if your partner, you know, even if he's resistant or nervous or scared or, whatever, skeptical, if he has an open mind, you know, the truth comes out. Like, science is on our side, you know? I mean, the the studies are on our side. So with an open mind, you can do you can do a lot.
Speaker 2
Yeah. It really is true. All you have to do is be willing to want to learn, and it's it's right there.
Speaker 1
And did you choose to share it with other people?
Speaker 2
I did talk to my mom about it, my medical nurse. Yeah. How's that going? I'm not gonna lie. Her first response was rude and awful. And she said something along the lines of if you really loved that baby, you would go to a hospital and see a doctor. Wow. And I said, well, mom, I do really love this baby and that's why I'm staying at home. And if you really loved me, you would educate yourself and listen to what I have to say. Yeah. We didn't talk for a while after that about it. It was like, we just kind of pretended that subject didn't exist.
Speaker 1
It's so interesting too, because you would think that she would want something better for you than her experience and the experiences that you had. I mean, this is such a moot point, obviously, because that's not how this works. People are completely loyal, you know, to this system regardless of what happens. And as we know, the vast majority of people, who have any sort of, let's call them fake emergencies or even real emergencies, you know, believe that they were safest, you know, even if the medical model caused them in the in the system. But it does
Speaker 2
it does. They saved my baby.
Speaker 1
After causing
Speaker 2
yeah. They caused this for your baby.
Speaker 1
Totally. Okay. So you didn't talk for a while. You kinda just let it lie for a little while. And and then what?
Speaker 2
She was going to be here, if she could. It was a, well, call me if it's, you know, between eight AM and seven PM, and I'm not busy. So that kind of hurt a little that she didn't wanna be more involved because, gosh, what grandma wouldn't want to be involved in the birth of their grandchild? I think.
Speaker 1
My mom declined. I invited her, and she she was like, I I really think I'd be too nervous. And I was like, okay. Cool. No problem. But it did it it hurt my feelings a little bit too.
Speaker 2
Well, it makes me feel better to know that your feelings were hurt by that day.
Speaker 1
Oh, for sure.
Speaker 2
This is your experience.
Speaker 1
Well, I think it's gonna hurt our feelings a little bit kinda anytime we extend a vulnerable invitation of any kind. Right?
Speaker 2
And get a no thank you. Yeah. Totally. Because that's true. But I I wasn't able to call her because, my first contraction happened at three thirty in the morning.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
And so it was not the time to call mom. And I wasn't sure if it was labor because it didn't feel like I thought it would feel. You know, it wasn't painful. My water hadn't broke, and, I I didn't feel like this was it. I had gone to bed fully unaware and almost in a, oh, it's just not gonna happen kind of mood when I'd spent the whole week beforehand going, is this it? Nope. Nope.
Speaker 1
That happens. Right? You get to a point where you're just like, it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 2
For me, it was when I gave up
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 2
Of thinking that it was gonna happen. That's when it happened.
Speaker 1
And what week are you at this point with the with the fifth baby?
Speaker 2
I'm forty weeks, five days.
Speaker 1
Nice. So that's your longest?
Speaker 2
Yes. I had never gone full term.
Speaker 1
Well, yeah. You kept getting induced.
Speaker 2
Totally. Yeah. Exactly. So, yeah, I'm forty weeks, five days, and I wake up with not an uncomfortable feeling, just I'm contracting, and I can feel the the contracting. I don't know how else to say it because it's not painful, and it wasn't pressure yet. It was just tightness, I guess.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
And so, of course, me being awake wakes up the husband and I'm walking in circles and he's like, oh, is this it? I said, I don't know. I'm just, you you know, I'm just owning it for now. I'm walking around and feeling it, seeing if it's gonna stop or keep going or get worse. I don't know. And so he says, okay. Well, I'm just gonna sit here and read then. So he's sitting there reading and I'm walking around and I start stopping and breathing a little. And he's like, okay. Do you want me to get the pool? At this point, I'm still not ready to commit that this is late. And I'm like, no. Don't get the pool because, god, I would hate to have any sort of water in it and then have it to sit here for another week.
Speaker 1
You're like, obviously, I'm gonna go back to sleep.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Totally. This isn't labor. I'm not having a baby right now. So I keep walking. I keep walking. I keep contracting. And, at this point, I think they're only about three minutes apart, and that's how they started. And I say, okay. Fine. Why don't you get the pool? It's been about half an hour now of this. It's still going. I think, if anything, maybe it would feel nice to sit in the warm water. So he gets the pool out and starts filling it up, which is good because they gave him something to do other than ask me every two minutes if this was it. Mhmm. So once it's about half full, I'm like, okay. That looks good. I wanna get in. So I get in the pool and, you know, we light a candle, and I've got some music going. We've got the lights up, and it's it's super relaxing and almost like a spa. You know? And I'm totally loving this. And as soon as I get in the water, it starts getting serious. It's more than just tightness. It's tightness and pressure. And I'm having to, like, sway a little, and squatting in the water feels super good. And then I'm asking him for a cold towel for my forehead because I'm getting way too warm. And after I've been in the water for maybe thirty minutes, I look at Chad, and I say, I don't think this is gonna take very long. And he's like, okay. Okay. Well, you know, he's just sitting there going, I wish there was something I could do because, you know, I really didn't need anything from him. I didn't need a back rub or Right. Anything. So we're just sitting there hanging out, basically. And another maybe forty five minutes goes by and my body starts pushing. So it was really a two hour easy water birth. He did come out with the cord around his neck, and as soon as he was fully birthed, we just slipped it over his head and brought him up to my chest. And we were lucky enough to get the last, the last of his birth on video. My husband had set up the camera without the memory card and realized at the last minute that it was without a memory card. So we we do have his birth on video, fortunately.
Speaker 1
Beautiful. And how did you feel right after? And then what was the placenta's birth story?
Speaker 2
Well, Chad goes, oh my gosh. We have a baby. You know? He's super excited, not sure what to do. And I'm just going, oh my gosh. That was so crazy. You know? I, woah. What just happened? You know? A two hour birth. I never thinking that I would wake up and go, gee, I wonder if this is gonna be a baby, and then two hours later be holding a baby. And just a minute later, my, at the time, nine year old walks in and goes, mom, can I come in? And of course, we're like, yes, come in, come in, come in. And so he was awake and heard the whole thing. His room was just down the hall, and he said he waited until the end because he wanted to leave us alone until the baby was out.
Speaker 1
That's cute.
Speaker 2
I thought it was, too. But it also made me kind of sad thinking that maybe he did want to come in, and he felt that he shouldn't, because he I totally would have been fine with him coming in.
Speaker 1
Mhmm. Had you guys talked about that with the kids prior, like, that they were welcome to be there?
Speaker 2
Honestly, I don't know if it came up. I wanna say that, you know, yes. We had mentioned, you know, you guys might be here when the baby is born, and if you want to watch, you can. But that, you know, we had planned to have the baby in our room in the in the pool. And I think the majority of the response was, we'll hang out upstairs
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 2
And come down right after.
Speaker 1
And I think the and yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And I think the older that kids get, the more mom and dad's room becomes, like, a private place.
Speaker 2
Sure. We're not supposed to go in there.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I think, well, I think just kind of instinctively privacy increases as the whole family gets older.
Speaker 2
Definitely.
Speaker 1
Who knows? Maybe he thought you guys were having sex.
Speaker 2
Those are some strange noises.
Speaker 1
I'm gonna wait and see if I hear a baby cry at the end of this.
Speaker 2
That's funny. That that could very well be it. I'll have to ask him.
Speaker 1
So do you remember the placenta coming out?
Speaker 2
It came out fairly quickly right after I had gone out of the pool because it's just what felt comfortable to me. It was okay. Baby's out. I wanna get out and sit down and hold him and dry off. And I think I was sitting there holding him, and I was like, oh oh, grab the bowl. Grab the bowl.
Speaker 1
You could feel it.
Speaker 2
Because I could I knew it was there. And so I just I laid him down on the bed carefully, and his name was Miles, by the way. I laid Miles down on the bed and just carefully turned off of the bed and burst the placenta into the bowl. It came out easy and whole, and I had very minimal bleeding, no tearing. He was perfect and healthy and pinked up right away and weighed eight pounds and nine ounces just like my third child.
Speaker 1
And was this your fifth boy?
Speaker 2
My fifth boy.
Speaker 1
Wow. Wow. And with that pregnancy, I guess I should have asked this earlier. Did you seek any medicalized care for the pregnancy or was it totally unassisted?
Speaker 2
It was totally unassisted after I guess I kinda skipped that part, didn't I? After I went and met with that initial midwife and then realized that I couldn't afford her and we couldn't have her at home anyway, I took my own care into my hands. And, I I check my weight as needed if I felt like, you know, gosh, how much did I gain this month? Mhmm. If I went to the store, I check my blood pressure just to make sure it was at a healthy level. And with me, I have a relatively low blood pressure on average. Mine's only, you know, like, nineties over fifties, even throughout pregnancy, and have had doctors in the past go, are you always this calm? So I check it just to make sure it was still nice and low, which it was. And, my mother's diabetic, so if I was at her house and felt the need to, I'd check my blood sugar just to make sure
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
That I wasn't, you know, out of control or out of range. Otherwise, I just went by how I felt. You know, I I felt healthy. I felt, you know, thirsty. I drank water. If I felt hungry, I ate healthy food. I went on plenty of walks, and I went swimming, and I ran up and down the stairs, the whole time, chasing the kids.
Speaker 1
Right. You also yeah. You had four kids. Good to stay active or easy to stay active with a handful
Speaker 2
of kids. Slow down.
Speaker 1
So how did you feel in your body and in your heart and in your mind and just, like, your whole family and your energy field in the days and weeks, and even months following Miles' birth? How did that feel to have accomplished, this this epic feat?
Speaker 2
It just felt like the way life is supposed to be. It felt like I was finally myself because I was taking care of myself. I felt like I was in charge of me. I didn't have somebody else telling me how I needed to take care of me.
Speaker 1
God. That's so powerful.
Speaker 2
I think everybody should be in charge of themselves.
Speaker 1
Crazy, crazy notion, As an adult.
Speaker 2
Crazy thing. We should all have this awakening of, I need to be in control of me. I don't need you to be in control
Speaker 1
And, you know, as we know that that is not a singular event, you know, that that filters into and flows into every part of your life and who you are and your relationships and, choices that you'll make. I mean, it it, it becomes a completely new paradigm of being when you experience what it is like to be in full self authority.
Speaker 2
It really has become like my way of life.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Beautiful. And so then was this little little sixth one, the most recent, a bit of a surprise pregnancy?
Speaker 2
She was quite a surprise. She was not, expected. We I was still nursing full time, and I think he was sixteen months when they're almost exactly two years apart. But with her, it was no question that we were going to do it ourselves again.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
Because to us, after the first experience, there was no other way. Mhmm. And, was completely unassisted. Never went in and saw anyone until I was twenty six weeks. And my husband, who was extremely impatient, had to have a small ultrasound. He was brought up the same way I was, very medicalized, and it has been really difficult to get that out of him.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. For sure. It's like a religion. Now.
Speaker 2
Yeah. So if for some chance, which I'm saying there's not because I'm planning it as such, but there won't be any more surprises. But if there would be, I would definitely avoid an ultrasound in the future.
Speaker 1
And I mean, now there's those blood tests, sneak peeks, you know, where it's just a blood test and you can determine the sex of the baby with, with actually much higher accuracy.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Which if you're gonna do something, you know, for anyone listening, I would, I would do blood over ultrasound.
Speaker 2
Okay. So we're expecting our first girl at twenty six weeks. We find out it's a girl. And I I have a perfectly normal, wonderful, easy pregnancy. I've never experienced morning sickness.
Speaker 1
Wow.
Speaker 2
So that was a plus. And I thought for sure that, you know, if I were to have a girl, I'd for sure be really sick, you know, because everybody says with my girls, I was really sick or with my boys that I wasn't or if it's different. You know, if it's a different sex, then it was totally different pregnancy. And it wasn't. It was totally the same as the boys, which was a surprise to me, but at the same time, not, I guess, because maybe it's just how pregnancy is for me.
Speaker 1
Right. Exactly. That makes way more sense to me than that somehow the the genitals of a baby determines how a woman feels. That that seems a little a little silly.
Speaker 2
It does seem silly now, but, I mean, you've heard that too. Right?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. But there's so many myths as we know about
Speaker 2
about all
Speaker 1
this stuff. But anyway, so okay. So you know you're having your little girl finally after five boys. That's so fun.
Speaker 2
I just enjoy this pregnancy a lot. I mean, I I love being pregnant. And having a girl was not really different than having a boy or expecting a girl, but in a way, it kind of felt different. I don't know how to explain it. It's a tough one. Well, that makes sense.
Speaker 1
I mean, it's it's having a daughter. It's a it is different.
Speaker 2
I just felt, I don't know, whole, I guess. I'm sitting here looking at some of my maternity photos as I talk and I'm trying to find the right words and it's really difficult sometimes. But I just I really love being pregnant and I really connected with her, I guess.
Speaker 1
Mhmm. Beautiful.
Speaker 2
And, I went to forty one weeks in one day. So, again, the longest pregnancy I had had. And I had no signs of impending labor ever. No Braxton Hicks or prodromal labor, whatever you wanna call it. No practice contractions. I didn't lose any sort of mucus plug. I didn't have any sort of, oh, this might be labor. Literally nothing that made me even think I was about to have a baby. So when I went into labor with her, it was very unexpected. We had gone to bed at about ten pm. We co sleep, so our toddler was with us and between us at the time. So we laid down, we're, you know, cuddled up and probably talking or reading a book or something. And we finished the story and then roll over to get comfortable. And I'd been laying there for maybe ten or fifteen minutes and I kind of felt like I had a gas bubble. I don't know how else to explain it. But I ended up not having gas, and I just thought, Well, that was weird. And then I had a a mild contraction that wasn't anything labor ish. And after it was finished, I had to go to the bathroom really bad. So I scoot to the edge of the bed as best I can at this point and waddle to the bathroom. And as soon as I go to sit down, my water breaks all over the floor very loudly. Like, it could have been in the movies. It was like somebody just dumped a gallon of water out of a bucket onto the floor from five feet up. And my husband from the other room in bed goes, oh, shit.
Speaker 1
He's like, I know that noise.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And at this point, I'm, like, almost out of breath because my body is going, what's happening? Yeah. And I just go, pool now. Because we had actually had the pool blown up even already, so it was really ready to go. So he sets it on the floor and gets the hose attached to the shower head and starts it going in the pool. I'm trying to pull off my wet pants and walk back to our bedroom. And as I'm walking back to our bedroom, my body starts pushing. And I'm like, what? No. I can't. I can't do this right now.
Speaker 1
What? I
Speaker 2
get to the bed and I pull my pants off and, my body pushes again. And I'm like, what? And I reached down and there's my baby's head. And I'm like, oh my god. We're having her right here right now. Oh my god. And so he looks in the pool and he goes, well, there's not much water in there. You want me to help you get in? And I just laughed and said, no. We're having her right here on the bed. Not birthing a baby into three inches of water.
Speaker 1
I
Speaker 2
look back and laugh at that
Speaker 1
often. Totally.
Speaker 2
So one more push, her head is out. And then one more push, and the rest of her is out. Oh my god. So from the time my water broke to the time she was born was literally ten minutes.
Speaker 1
Right. And if we add, what, two more minutes with that one mild contraction or even the gas bubble that wasn't a gas bubble, it was, like, twelve minutes. Wow. Okay. So how did it feel afterwards? She's now in your arms. That just happened out of the freaking blue. And how do you, like, how do you feel? Are you are you just in absolute shock?
Speaker 2
I think so. I I remember saying things like, oh my god. That was the craziest thing. And, like, how long was that? What time is it? And I I remember somewhere in the middle just telling him, grab my phone and take some pictures.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
I don't know why I didn't tell him to take a video. But
Speaker 1
Maybe because you were in the middle of a ten minute labor.
Speaker 2
That that could be it. I wasn't real thinking, but I'm glad that we got the pictures zoomed in.
Speaker 1
Wow. That is amazing. So really, truly nothing. No indicator. No no waves. No no nothing.
Speaker 2
Wow. I mean, every time I went to the bathroom, you know, I'm like, come on. Mucus plug. Nothing. Nothing to where I'm like, oh, hey. It could possibly be in the next couple days. No. No hope. Right. And then just like a freight train, she just blew out.
Speaker 1
Maybe this is a kind of a stupid question, but I feel like I just have to ask because it was ten minutes. How like, was it was it really painful having it be I mean, I'm trying to imagine what it would be like physiologically that she was already so low. Yeah. That that she literally could emerge in that short of a time. So, she must have been, you know, obviously very optimally positioned and very low. And and what did it feel like? Like, how how could you describe it? Because I've never I've never talked to anyone who had a ten minute labor. So, can can you speak to that? Like, what it felt like?
Speaker 2
I can do my best. So I keep trying to pick this apart in my head and go over, like, okay, how exactly did this happen? What was I feeling? My theory is the gas bubble that I felt was either her and the water bag coming down or potentially my cervix dilating. But but I don't know. I did attempt to check my own cervix, which I don't recommend to anyone unless you really feel the need to, I guess.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 2
But I was unsuccessful. My cervix was always too high for me to feel. So I had no I could have been, you know, five centimeters for weeks and had no Oh,
Speaker 1
you mean you tried to check pre labor? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Gotcha.
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. And not during, I couldn't have touched my cervix if I wanted to. Right. Right. Right. Right. But so I don't know if, you know, did I dilate it all at once? Had I been open for a while and that was just her head coming down? I don't know what that that sunk feeling was that I felt.
Speaker 1
Mhmm. And would you describe the labor, the the beyond precipitous labor as painful or painless or or just like total shock and it happened so quick. It almost wasn't even like, I don't know, noticeable. Like, what what are the words you would use to describe the phys the physicality of a ten minute labor?
Speaker 2
I definitely would not say painful. There was a lot of pressure and I could definitely feel her shoulder or something on my bladder as she was coming out, which, still it it doesn't feel like something was injured. It just something is different. Mhmm. You know, like, she got caught up on something in there. But then afterwards, of course, it was fine. And it wasn't painful. It was again, I just say pressure. Like, it just really felt like something being pushed really hard.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 2
And I felt, I don't know, a fullness, I guess. It just
Speaker 1
And how did It
Speaker 2
is really hard to describe.
Speaker 1
Totally. I can only imagine. Then how did she come out? Was she ready to go or was she a little stunned? I mean, I would I would imagine. I wouldn't be
Speaker 2
She was ready to go. She came out instantly crying. Wow. Wow.
Speaker 1
Thank Yeah.
Speaker 2
She was like, thank God I'm out of there.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I would have expected a little shock or something with with such a quick birth, but but I guess not.
Speaker 2
You could think. And and bruising, I was worried that she would be bruised because Miles was born in two hours, and his face was a little bruised. His forehead and nose were, you know, so to be shot out in ten minutes, you would think there would be some bruising, and there wasn't.
Speaker 1
Wow. She was just ready to go.
Speaker 2
Got lucky.
Speaker 1
Wow. That is so crazy. I love it. And then the placenta, same thing right after?
Speaker 2
Hers was a little slower coming out and, was actually only it got stuck halfway out for, like, five minutes or so.
Speaker 1
Woah. Interesting.
Speaker 2
I think too.
Speaker 1
Like it was it it had emerged beyond the cervix? Or
Speaker 2
Oh, you could see it. It was outside of my body.
Speaker 1
Uh-huh. So it was, like, hanging out in the in the vagina. Yes. Gotcha. Just taking its time.
Speaker 2
Yeah. It was a little slower than last time to the point where I was like, okay. Come on.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Totally. I don't need a placenta hanging out in my vagina. Thank you very much.
Speaker 2
But it did finally come out. And unfortunately, I I wanted to keep my placenta, but, as soon as it came out into the bowl, I urinated all over it.
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. Me too. Yeah.
Speaker 2
So I was like, well, rinse that off and freeze it. We'll do something with it someday.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Exactly. Wow. And how did your body feel after such a quick birth?
Speaker 2
Honestly, I felt great. I felt amazing. I was really cold. I remember the whole rest of that day and night, I was freezing.
Speaker 1
Interesting.
Speaker 2
It was January, but I think just because I was on the smaller end, I don't have a lot of body fat, and I I really felt like I just lost my personal heater.
Speaker 1
Right. Yeah. For sure. Wow. That is just so cool.
Speaker 2
One of my favorite parts of her birth was that our two year old was, there for the whole thing.
Speaker 1
Oh, right. Because he was in bed.
Speaker 2
Yeah. He just stood in the wings silently and observed. He didn't he didn't make a sound. He didn't come in. He just, like, stood at the doorway and was like, woah. Wow. And he has not left her alone since. He is absolutely in love with his little sister.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
He just hugs and kisses on her all the time and is so careful because I I think, because he saw her being born. I mean, I'm sure every sibling loves their little brother or sister. But when you're there watching them come out of your mom, I think it's a little different.
Speaker 1
Oh, a hundred percent. I mean, I actually don't know that every, especially toddler, you know, two, three, four year old loves their little, their little sibling. I've seen a lot of R you know, a lot of jealousy, a lot of, trouble integrating, a new baby into the family and across the board, the family births that I have witnessed or or spoken with, women who have family births and where their children are present, there's just less of that or all the way to what you've experienced of just total, you know, pack welcoming and love and and healthy integration. I think I think that it it can make a huge difference, which totally makes sense.
Speaker 2
Yeah. I the way we come into this world and what we're surrounded by totally defines who we are, I think. Well, in versus to anyway.
Speaker 1
I mean, I've doulaed hospital birthing, you know, stories where they have to drop the toddler off somewhere in the middle of the night and the kids like screaming, not understanding why their parents are dropping them off to wherever a family member or a daycare or whatever. And then they return home three days later with a baby. Like that's, that's confusing. I that's, that's really confusing.
Speaker 2
You know, I think I've never looked at it from that side before and that's awful. Yeah. I would hate that. I can't even imagine.
Speaker 1
There's a lot of dynamics there that that seemed very hard for a, for a young child to wrap their head around.
Speaker 2
That would be really difficult.
Speaker 1
Well, I love those stories. Oh my goodness. And what a, what a just inspiring journey you've been on. I mean, you're just such a shining example of, of, you know, like all of us, a woman being born into the system and having medicalized parents and well, maybe not all of us, but certainly me too. And, and then just, you know, slowly but surely finding your way out of it. And and the biggest part is having the courage to really do it. You know, I think a lot of women dream about a home birth or a lot of women say they want a free birth or they like the idea of it. But, you know, just the, the steps to take and the, the fear to face and the deprogramming that it requires, it's not for everybody.
Speaker 2
So
Speaker 1
it's just, so it's so inspiring that you were so indoctrinated into the medical model, had four of your babies in there, in that system, and then just found your way out and had these absolutely ecstatic euphoric birth experiences.
Speaker 2
The deprogramming is definitely the hard part. Mhmm. But, you know, gosh. Once I saw that light, I couldn't unsee it. And it's really hard not to try to go to everyone you know and go, hey. Listen to me. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing it wrong.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 2
Because nobody wants to hear that, and they tell you that you're crazy.
Speaker 1
Well, right. And it it's, you know, it is like a religion to to question someone's religion, you know, their loyalty to this paradigm. You know, it's it's offensive, I think. You know? And and, obviously, from from women like us, we're coming at it from a very protective, perspective. But, yeah, everyone has to find their own way. And and, unfortunately, as you know, so many women, they eventually leave the system like you after having seen, you know, how let down they're going to be by it. And that's sad. And one of my biggest hopes with this podcast is that first time mamas, you know, will, if this is the right decision for them, we'll make these choices before they have to experience, you know, the inherent violence of the system. Which is why we share these stories, you know, to learn from each other, because if we can accelerate, you know, the you know, whoever's listening to this episode who hasn't had a baby yet, if if we can accelerate her learning, if that's what she wants, you know, the better. We all will rise. Right? Less babies will be born into trauma. Less babies will spend two hours separated from their mothers, you know, because someone hopefully will hear your story and say, Nope, I'm going to learn from Lindsey and I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 2
That makes me happy. I hope that, the world can be a better place and that all babies can be with their moms when they're born. Like they should be.
Speaker 1
Yeah, absolutely. And what a story you gave your family. I mean, what healing and, you know, like we were saying earlier, you can't go back and there's some, you know, I'm sure some real sadness about some of the things that happened with your first boys. And what a victorious, like, vindicated story your children are all gonna grow up with of through your own learning and your own healing and your own courage to make different choices. You know, even the boys that were born in the hospital are still now growing up with the story of your journey of learning, you know, that the safest place to birth is actually at home. It's so powerful.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I have talked to them about their birth stories. They all know how they were born, and they all obviously know how their two younger siblings were born. Mhmm. And a couple of them have said, you know, kinda wish I was born at home.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. That's understandable. Like, I mean, I wish I was born at home. I wish you were born at home.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Everybody should be born at home.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Anyone who wants it. Alright. Well, thank you so much. That was an awesome, awesome story. I'm excited to get this episode out.
Speaker 2
Thank you.
Speaker 1
That's it for today, everyone. Join us next week for another episode of the free birth podcast. Thanks for joining us and remember your body, your choice. Lots of love.
