Speaker 0
Welcome to the Free Birth Podcast, a supportive space for people who are learning, exploring, and celebrating their autonomous choices in child childbirth. Together, we'll unpack truths, share personal stories, and claim our ability to birth freely and intuitively. Here's your host, Emily
Speaker 1
Saldea. Are you craving a community of like minded women? Do you feel like an outsider in your family or your community? Well, I may have the place for you. We have a Freebird Society private online community that's full of radical and wild women just like you. If you resonate with the topics that we explore on this podcast and wanna belong in a circle of women who support each other in the self exploration of free birth and wild mothering, come join us. You can apply online at our website, free birth society dot com. It's where myself and my team are hanging out these days, and we would love to get to know you.
Speaker 2
Hello, darlings. I have something a little different for you this week. I'm actually sharing an interview that I did with Katya Nova from her podcast, Honey Talks.
Speaker 1
You know, I've gotten pretty comfortable being
Speaker 2
the one interviewing, so it's always fun to be on someone else's podcast and shake it up. So this time, I'm the one being interviewed. Katya and I's conversation turned into something very powerful that I'm really proud to share here to our listeners. We get deep into some of my favorite topics, conscious conception, sexuality after childbirth, matriarchy, and some pretty personal stuff about me and my life. And I'm just gonna plug this up front. Katya and I have a huge and super exciting announcement to make at the end of this podcast. So stick around to the very end or skip ahead, and let's just say I'm pretty sure that you've been secretly waiting for this dream to come true, so stick around.
Speaker 3
My beautiful girl. I'm so excited to talk to you.
Speaker 4
I know. You too. I've been thinking about it all morning.
Speaker 3
You know, I told myself that I would not be one of those podcast host
Speaker 4
who just loses her shit and and gets all giddy talking to guests and
Speaker 3
You look pretty giddy right now.
Speaker 4
Why? Why not? When everyone can share
Speaker 3
in that excitement. Yes. But, you know, how, these podcast episodes, you know, a lot of them started. Oh my god. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. This is gonna be the best thing ever. Oh, I love you. Oh, I love you too. I love you more. So you hang up.
Speaker 4
I actually don't listen to any podcast that start like that. So so this can just be refreshing.
Speaker 1
This will
Speaker 3
be the only one
Speaker 1
I listen to that has that.
Speaker 3
Okay. Well, I am so pumped to talk to you, and I do love you so much. Your podcast, Free Birth Society, was a saving grace through through my whole pregnancy with Phoenix. I I was just like, how do women even do this without without a podcast? And my first pregnancy with Zion, I felt like I was so prepared. I did so many so many things, you know, hypnobirthing, different kinds of meditations, and many, many books. But this is a whole new thing, listening to listening to women's stories and hearing you hold them and and talk them through and, it was beautiful.
Speaker 1
Thank you. Yeah. That was really why I wanted to start it was, you know, I said this a thousand times on my podcast that I really believe that women learn best through personal narrative, and that has certainly been my experience. I mean, I have these these memories of sitting at the feet of these elder midwives and listening to their stories and listening to this birth or that birth and really feeling this karmic memory deep in my bones whenever it would happen, where I was like, this is it. This is the learning. This is how it happens when women come in circle and when women share their stories. And in my birth work, I've noticed that women remember the stories I tell them prenatally way more than the quote unquote facts or statistics. But if I weave it into a story, then, you know, I've had so many women in labor look at me and be like, was this like that one mom who did that one thing? And and she remembers it. So that really stuck with me. And then as I prepared for my own journey of my first pregnancy, you know, partially it was selfish that I wanted to be just completely, you know, inundated with all of these stories of women birthing in power. And so I thought, well, you know, it's not gonna happen in my home because this is a global kind of unnetworked community, and so I'm gonna make a virtual circle. And that's that's been the vision ever since I started it is when I when I'm listening to a woman talk and then when I put it out onto the Internet, I picture this circle, you know, that we're all sitting around this fire, and when people you know, they send me their little cute stories on Instagram of how they listen to it, and their rituals of how they listen to it and with their kids or cleaning, and it's just like, yes, this is it, and this is a positive use of the Internet. And, you know, I've had women from all over, you know, random places I've never even heard of. I mean, it's not random to them, but places I've never heard of
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Finding their way with this podcast and first power all over.
Speaker 3
I remember Pretty cool. The photo that I sent you actually listening to your birth story, because you made us wait for it. You divided it into two parts.
Speaker 1
I know.
Speaker 4
And I
Speaker 3
was sitting on my on my yoni stool steaming, and I just was crying. And that's the that's the picture I sent you. It's Yeah.
Speaker 4
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Totally.
Speaker 3
Crying.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. That was intense. And that I you know, there was a huge part of me that didn't wanna share my own birth story, and it was, you know, it it was a beautiful test for me to kind of give that back and be in the public eye with my own story, because I'd been collecting everyone else's stories, and it it and it was this, yeah, kind of equalizing offering, like, well, yeah, I can hold stories. That's the easy part. It's easy to listen to women's stories. I love that. But really, carrying the episode by myself and sharing my intimate story, and then editing it, and choosing how to put it out, and then feeling that, response, which wasn't all positive, you know? And, yeah, it was it was very vulnerable, and, of course, I'm really glad I did it. It would be only fair since everyone's been sharing with me. But, yeah, that cliffhanger, man. I
Speaker 3
wanna add
Speaker 1
Some women told me later that they were in labor right after part one, and so they were like,
Speaker 3
no. What happened?
Speaker 4
So this will be a big for anyone who hasn't heard it, you've gotta go listen to it to see what we're talking about.
Speaker 3
Yes. Yes. And I wanted to add to to our listeners, even if you are not currently with child, and are not planning on on a conscious free birthing journey. Please go listen to Emily's podcast because it's brilliant.
Speaker 1
And this is the thing. I mean, the way that I think about it is the podcast isn't specifically for women who are pregnant or women who are, going to free birth. It's for women. And you don't stop being a woman who who has this, potential interest in yourself and in womanhood and in sovereignty and in unpacking our patriarchal socialization and and hearing women's stories. Right? Like, that is our our right as women to share in these stories. And then and then furthermore, that when we share these stories, no matter where you are in your life, if you're an elder or you're sixteen years old, holding these stories deepens your wisdom as a woman, and you will pass that on. And so it doesn't matter if you're pregnant or not. You get to be a knower. You know, when you hold all of these women's stories and when you take in all this variety and it normalizes not just birth, but being a woman. And being a woman on this path of trying to, you know, figure out and learn how to be in your power and in your pleasure and in your sovereignty and in your self authority in a culture that says, fuck you, shut up, basically.
Speaker 4
Don't you dare do that, you know,
Speaker 1
and it's it's it's deep. So, yeah, I definitely have a lot of women reach out to me who aren't planning to have children or, or they've never thought about it that way, or even this podcast changes it for them and they thought they were gonna have a scheduled c section because that's what happens in their family and this is the first time they've considered that there's another way. So, yeah, I really think it's important no matter where you are in your life as a woman to carve out some space to think about this stuff.
Speaker 3
And I understand you began walking with women way before you wanted to bring together this platform online.
Speaker 1
Yeah. For sure. You were as young
Speaker 3
as sixteen?
Speaker 1
I think seventeen was my first attended birth, but, I had left home early. I dropped out of high school when I was sixteen and just was ready for real life. I was, like, never going, and it was a joke. And so, yeah, I moved to LA, and I started taking a baby massage training, and that just really woke me up to communication with babies. And simply put, it was all volunteer work, but I was teaching mostly mothers, but sometimes fathers, who had special needs babies, who had either just had open heart surgery, had developmental issues, and then at some at one point, I was working with, babies who were exclusively in hospice. So, hardcore, you know, really some of the saddest, just gut wrenching stuff, but I would show up to their homes or even in the hospital sometimes and just carve out the space with them to do essentially, it was like Reiki, but I never called it that because, you know, a lot
Speaker 4
of people don't know energy exists. And so I think energy? Yeah. We can actually do something with
Speaker 1
our energy. And so, yeah, it was so beautiful and it and I was so young and it was all just volunteer and I got paired through an organization with different families and I would just go to their house and, just basically sit in quiet and support them. I would never touch the babies. That's not what infant massage is about. It's about supporting the parents to bond and communicate and acknowledge those, you know, the cues that baby gives and to re especially with these babies who had had a really rough start in their life and maybe were not going to be living for much longer, it was carving out the space of reassociating touch with love. And so, you know, they might be having just got out of surgery where they they won't let you touch their little foot, you know, where the IV line was, or, you know, the huge scar on their chest, and just so much pain and so much trauma so early. And so then I would come in and, yeah, just show them kind of just give them different invitations of how we could hold our hands above their heart and not touch them, you know, and just say, I love you. You're safe now, baby. You know, whatever, such simple stuff. But it was profound. And I remember the first mom who called me. I think I had already done three sessions with her, and, you know, they're meant to keep doing it throughout the week when I'm not there. And she called me, and he was four months old, and he'd had open heart surgery, and was super shut down, and he had just come home from the hospital. And, she called me crying, and she said, so and so, the baby's name, just let me touch his chest for the first time. Oh, I mean, my life changed when that happened. When I got that call, I was like, this this is it. Like, this this is it. Mother baby is the answer. Mother baby is the way, and I am devoted in the story. You know? It was just it. When I saw how simple it was to support the love and connection. You know, it wasn't like I did anything all that special. I just provided, some space and some permission and some ideas, you know, and then of course, it was up to them. So from that point on, I was like, alright, this is this is it for the rest of my life. This is the most significant thing on the planet. And I I believe it even more now that I'm many, many years older. I was sixteen, seventeen. I'm thirty two now, almost thirty three. So then I attended started attending birth at seventeen, and and it was on from there.
Speaker 3
Wow. I remember feeling so surprised that you didn't have a a bunch of babies already. Yeah. Already. I was like, what? She's pregnant for the first time? What? This is so cool.
Speaker 1
It was like a twenty year long conscious conception plan, really, you know, because I had had that knowledge of wanting or or in the process of becoming a mother my whole life ever since I was little. You know, I was like the one in the in the family that was the babysitter or the one that was, like, you know, coveting all the babies in the neighborhood, and always, you know, that that girl. And then, you know, obviously coming out to LA and and not not having my partner yet, I just always knew it was the way, both for myself as a blossoming mother and then to support mothers. And so, yeah, I really took my time with it. I really, I knew I would reap the benefits of it too. Gosh, it's like it's hard to even articulate because it it's such a calling. It just, it was always so obvious. You know, I've never I've never worried or wondered about who am I, what am I doing on this planet. So so the motherhood piece, it was like, I was always nurturing it and knowing that I was a future mother, but I held so much reverence for it. I really wanted to take the time that it was gonna take to create the optimal story, you know, for for our family. And it's still unfolding, of course. I have one children now. I intend to have more. So, So, yeah, it was like a very long journey because once I yeah, I was a doula, very, very busy doula and midwife's assistant all through my twenties. So for over ten years, I was attending so many freaking births. Like, I had many, many months in a year where I was going to between five and ten births. So many. And I don't even really recommend that
Speaker 4
because you can't even keep up
Speaker 1
with that energetically, or I should say I couldn't. It would be one thing if I was just having seen, you know, women birthing in power, but that wasn't the that isn't the story of most doulas. I don't know any doulas, you know, that that's the story, because to have a thriving business, you really do have to be attending births in captivity, which is, for me and many doulas, deeply, deeply painful, and there was no way in my energy field I could move into the health that I needed to hold space for my baby, until I had figured out how to exit that very long career path that I had been on. Mhmm. So the more kind of just maxed out I got on that I mean, pretty much all births in the hospital I've witnessed are abusive on some level. I think vaginal exams are abusive. I think, you know, I think it it goes really, really deep. But and because consent isn't a thing and, I don't believe that informed consent is possible in positions of authority. And so, it's it's really Once I started to tune into that stuff in my mid twenties, and I started to really be able to name the abuse to myself, you know, once you name it, you can't unname it. And so then every birth, I was just re my eyes were just wide open, and it became so painful. And as I had a string about four years ago of many burst back to back that were some of the worst, and still just haunt me to this day and always will. So painful, like like, kind of my first real experience with true birth rape. Like, not no denying it, no way to reframe it, like, multiple women in a row being held down and and, screaming no while they had things inserted into their bodies. So, yeah, really, really hardcore, and, it was really awful, obviously. And so that just I remember leaving this one birth, particularly, just being like, I accepted money for that. And it's not my fault. I'm not saying that. It's, of course, not my fault that I witnessed abuse. But I just was like, man, I've been to hundreds of births. When am I gonna start catching up to the truth of this? Which is, I'm making my living off of accepting money, basically, under this lie, telling these women in some way, shape, or form that I'm going to help increase their authority. And it's not really true. Maybe on some individualized stories it is. Sure, I've stopped episiotomies, I've intentionally broken sterile fields so that things did not occur, but that's small potatoes to what we're really talking about. And so I had a a really nice conversation with a woman named Maren Green who runs the Indie Birth, organization and Taking Back Birth podcast, which is a great podcast to check out.
Speaker 3
Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Super great.
Speaker 3
And,
Speaker 1
I had a great conversation with her that was very pivotal for me, and she just said, you know, at some point, you have to decide if you wanna pour your energy into a broken system or pour your energy into the new paradigm you wanna see. Mhmm. And I was like, oh, duh. Okay. Well, that's obviously the answer. And so, yeah, I took a hard look at what I was doing, and and knowing that my baby was calling me, then I just stopped. I finished out the birth that I had and said no more. I have a new boundary. It was it was a little bit of a slow process. I started to only attend home births, still wanting to hang on to this licensed midwifery thing, and then that was a shit show because that's totally an abusive system too. It's a medicalized birth if you're hiring a licensed midwife most of the time simply because the rules and regulations, that a midwife agrees to follow, and I'm talking about here in America, but it's true in in all countries that I'm familiar with the rules and regs of midwifery. It's a medicalized agreement that they're making, and there's a lot of margins that women fall on that cause women to be transferred for reasons that aren't individualized to them. For example, water's being open for twelve hours in some states, twenty four for some states, and then it's just an automatic transfer. And so I I saw a birth like that, right, it was, like, it was one of the last births that I attended. And, yeah, it just broke my heart all over again. And it was nothing new. Like, I've seen these all the time, but I had totally new eyes on the situation. And realizing that it wasn't that ethical for me to be attending these births that I would never choose, which that's an interesting part too, because we're trained as doulas to be like, no agenda, no bias, attend everybody, support everybody, don't insert yourself into anything, and I call bullshit on that. I actually think it's so much more powerful to own your bias and you're not for everybody, just like you're not for everybody in life, you know.
Speaker 4
It's that's actually just a, it's
Speaker 1
a very, I think it's a very misogynistic way to to to train doulas, quite frankly. You know, to teach them basically not to have boundaries, and to not, have Yeah. Essentially boundaries, that's really what it comes up to. And so, when I finally had to unlearn so much of my doula training and the doula culture, and once I just started really working through that, I was like, okay. I don't have to be beholden to this paradigm I don't agree with at all, and in calling in my baby, how do I want my birth work to look? And so, yeah, that brought us up to knowing that I wanted to leave LA, and knowing I needed to have a major down regulation of my nervous system, and I needed to be quiet. I needed to be alone. I'd been living in LA for so long, which I love that city so very much, but it is an intense city to live in, and not a place that I wanted to be pregnant in. I wanted to walk in the forest. I wanted to see deer. You know, I wanted to smell clean air and, and sleep as much as I wanted, and and journal, and be alone, because I wanted to honor this final stage of maidenhood where, you know, knowing I was probably never gonna be alone again, you know, and how to just really give reverence to this final stage. And so, my husband got a job out in the woods per my request, and we left LA, and I got to spend a year. We conceived our baby, the month that that we asked for her to come, and then I basically just slept and walked to the woods, and cried, and meditated, and chanted, and danced, and just spent a lot of time alone, and it was really profound. I really needed to carve that space out. I had so much secondary trauma from just the horrible assaults that I've been witnessing for so long, that I really needed to get some real space from that before entering my own birth, you know, because that's the headache. Ask. Yeah. That's the crazy thing is, like, it's what's unique to birth attendants, especially doulas, because they're not the quote unquote providers. Like, you're seeing all this shit, but then you go have your own baby, and how do you separate from that?
Speaker 3
Separate. Yeah. Yeah. A little while ago, you mentioned the words conscious conception, and that's on the tip of the tongue for for many people in this in this world. But I think it's a new concept to to many others. Could you speak a little bit
Speaker 1
Yeah. About this? I'd love to. It's one of my favorite favorite, favorite topics because it's so simple. It's exactly what it sounds like. It is conceiving, calling in your baby, however you wanna frame it, with consciousness, with awareness. And so there's no one way to do it, and it's it's yours, you know, however you make it. The point, just like conscious eating, just like conscious living, just like anything, literally, it just means be aware, do it with intention, do it with consciousness. And as I grew up, I think it was my dad. Somebody planted this concept in my head. I don't know. It's gotta be my dad. It feels like something he would have talked about. But I remember in middle school trying to tell my girlfriends about it and being like, you guys.
Speaker 4
Like, I was that kid. Being like, you guys, how romantic is it gonna be when we're, like, making love with our partners and, like, calling our babies? In. And they're like, you're super weird.
Speaker 1
And so, it's something that's been in my mind as the pinnacle, most romantic thing that could be. And so then as I became a sexual person and, you know, in my teenage years and and, I had a long term partner in high school and then well, we're five years, so out of high school as well. I remember having and because this is kind of a sex based podcast, I'm gonna just go there for a second.
Speaker 4
Yes, I see.
Speaker 1
I remember I was on birth control because that's just what, you know, my mom put me on, and I didn't have, you know, any education around that yet, and, you know, got off it as soon as I as soon as I did. But I remember being on birth control around eighteen, nineteen, and my boyfriend at the time came inside me, and I had this epiphany about what if I still got pregnant. And well, that wasn't the epiphany. That was just the thought. But the epiphany that came from that was how fucking sacred allowing someone to ejaculate inside your body really is. And it moved me so much, and I was like, no more. I don't want that until my babies get ready. I don't want that. That is something that you know, and it's funny because I'm super not religious at all or conservative at all, but I've heard religious conservative women talk about that, about their virginity.
Speaker 3
Uh-huh.
Speaker 1
And and I certainly was no virgin, but I I I guess I feel like maybe I am kind of relating to that in a way because I'm not gonna say that no man ever ejaculated inside me the next many, many, many years until I had my baby, but anytime that that did happen, I felt super not okay with it. And Wow. Super like, oh my god, I'm playing with fire. Not in a, oh, I could get pregnant, but in a, like, I'm disrespecting my baby. It was really deep. So, yeah. I just I've I don't know. I've just always had this kind of relationship to my future motherhood or my children knowing that when I really called for them, they were gonna come, and that's exactly what happened. And so, when I got with my now husband, I told him, like, hey, I wanna take this real freaking seriously, because you're obviously the dad. The first night we had sex, my my son came or our son came to me in a dream, and it was the first night ever
Speaker 4
that we had slept together. And he was just floating above us
Speaker 1
like this little cherub, and he was like, hey. That's my papa. I'm coming later. This is my name. And I was like, did you
Speaker 3
have that vision?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. Totally. He was like two floating above me. It was a full moon in real life, and the moon it was very trippy. The moon was coming in onto us, in the in real life, and then in the dream, it was the same setup with with my boy floating above us, and, and I I woke Johnny up and told him again, this is
Speaker 4
the first time we've ever
Speaker 1
slept together, and I told him and I was like, dude, our son just came to me. This is his name. He's I just saw him, and Johnny, they just looked at me and he went, cool, man.
Speaker 3
He was
Speaker 4
just, like, so sleepy. It was just, like, that's awesome. So, anyway, he's not here yet, but I
Speaker 1
think he'll come next. And so, you know, kind of having our boy present so early was, like, we gotta be careful about this because, you know, I I wanna respect them. Again, it wasn't ever like a fear thing, it was just they're already with us. They're they've been my spirit babies since I was little, you know, I these are my, like, these are my crew and they're waiting for the right time to come in and I'm gonna honor that with doing the best I can. So when it actually came time to conceive the baby, that was when it got, of course, like, even more intentional. So all of this really was a journey to conceiving our daughter, Suniye. So moving out of LA, you know, getting getting that time alone that I was speaking of, I went to India, again with with two of my best friends, and then we played around in Indonesia for a couple weeks in this honoring, the farewell to my maiden, you know, it was just so special and and be like, okay, like, I'm not going to be traveling to India anytime soon with a kid because I wouldn't want to probably. And so, yeah, I came home and then we did a little cleanse, which I don't think you necessarily need to, but again, we just kinda wanted to go all in. Anyway, so then we had these romantic rose petal baths and, had a candle for her, and so we would pray to her before we made love, and we would light the candle and just say, Yeah, we're welcoming you, and we're on your time now, but the portal is open from us to you. And so find your way here, you know, and our hearts are open, our bodies are open, mine in particular. And, yeah, we're just open. And it was the most incredible sex ever for, well, I guess it was like two months that we did it, and it was just so it was exactly what I thought it was gonna be, just no holding back, you know? No, you know, until and until you want to be pregnant, there's a part of you and your partner that aren't fully able to go all in because you don't want to conceive. Right? And that's an obvious thing we all have to contend with. And so, I really wanted to play with that of, like, what does that feel like to be so open that that there were no boundaries at all? And it was it was awesome. It was really special.
Speaker 3
Wow. That sounds amazing. And I love the contrast. In in the first episode, Rob and I talked about how mechanical it was for us. Mhmm. I know. I was like, yeah. It was pretty much boring. You know? Yeah. I love the contrast that Totally. Experienced. And so for for you guys and for Rob and I, it was actually pretty quick. Right? But what would you say to couples who are having a harder time and who might be listening and are are having a frustrating experience when they're they really want the conception to be conscious and to be beautiful and they've been trying for for longer than they'd like?
Speaker 1
Well, the first thing is women aren't taught tracking usually. And so the first thing is is fertility awareness method, because we need to make sure that you're even actually having sex when you're fertile. And that is across the board with my work in women and women who, are trying to conceive without success. That's the first thing we have to look at. That doesn't mean it's gonna fix it, but it's certainly going to hedge your bets, you know, because if you're only fertile around a twenty four, thirty hour window of your cycle and you don't know when that is because your app is going off averages or your doctor is going off averages, then it's not gonna happen. You you can't conceive if you're not fertile. You can't conceive if you're not ovulating. And so, there's an amazing book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility that is like the bible for this stuff, so absolutely read that if that's new to you. And then, I have a podcast with, Jessica Austin, breaking down fertility awareness, and it's super easy. It's nothing to be intimidated by, you know, you just, you you, check your basal temperatures in the morning, just your resting temperature, and then you can chart, and then you chart and you notice how your temperature rises and drops throughout the month, And and then you you track your your blood and and your cervical positioning and your cervical fluid. So it's very, very, very simple to do. But after that, you know, I I could only speak to just spiritually how I feel about it and if it resonates, you know, with anyone listening. But again, like, this isn't something I have had to be challenged by, so I say this with, you know, a very gentle heart because I'd I I know it's not easy, and I know it is really, really painful to get your blood, you know, every month when you, when you want your baby to be here. And I've, of course, walked with so many women that, that held that prayer in their heart. And all I can really say is your baby's already working on you. You know, this is the work. This is motherhood. Nothing happens on our time, and this is an agreement between you and your baby. And so all you can focus on in my in my opinion, and all you can focus on is setting up the container, but you're not in charge, and you don't get to decide the timing, but you can optimize your container, like your physical body, your partner's physical body, your home, knowing when you're fertile, making love with a prayer, you know, with a prayerful heart. And I mean, I know that might sound really just simple, but so many women that I talk to aren't doing any of that. And they're just having like angry, resentful, weird scheduled sex and then pissed, and they're all, you know, and they're they're drinking a ton of coffee because they're stressed out or they're, you know, drinking alcohol or they're, they're tight, their jaws are tight. You know, I'll I I will sit with women while they tell me about their their feelings about, not conceiving, and their jaws are tight. And it's like, girl, you gotta get into your body. You gotta get into your yoni. You've gotta relax. And I'm not saying that's easy. I am not saying that this should just be, anything other than it is for you, like, this is the journey. But that's always what I come back to is I find comfort in the framing being your baby is already teaching you, your baby is already with you, they're a a thought away, and they are working on you. You know, if if a woman's experiencing multiple losses, you know, that is, that is so painful. And everything is perspective. Right? We are in control of our thoughts, if we choose to be. Or we can be run over by them and be very, very depressed and sad. But from a place of power and of, you know, looking for the blessing and looking for the lessons, you could choose. And I've seen many women do this. You can choose to start to feel that cord from your heart and the cord from your womb out to this baby. Picture what they look like, call them into your body and treat yourself, which is the container with all the love and softness in the world. Because that's the home your baby wants. And then, what you may find is even if a baby never comes, you've healed yourself. Right? And so there's some really deep stuff in there of, you know, we're not on a baby's time, but we are on ours, and we can heal ourselves, and we can find ways to Whatever we think a baby's gonna give us, I don't know if that's in your karmic path this life or not. You know, none of us do. And so all you can do is make yourself be the best, softest, you know, most loved woman to your own self and see what happens. Right? But then no matter what, you won.
Speaker 3
That's so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much for that. And, well, I'm dying to know, did you keep that epic sex going after the baby was born after
Speaker 4
Oh, yeah. Totally.
Speaker 3
Totally. Tell me tell me about that.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 4
I was thinking about that
Speaker 1
this morning. Yeah. Well, no. I would not say we've kept that open. We have had some, but we so we went to Hawaii to have the baby there and we were there for February, March, like three months postpartum. And we we had sex once there, and it didn't feel good. It burned afterwards, and I had torn with with my birth. And, it was seven weeks postpartum, and I totally wanted to try it, and it it felt like the right time to try it, and it it wasn't the right time. I mean, it was fine that we did it, whatever, but, it burned afterwards, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna give it some more time. So then, in in that time between that and then the next time that we had sex, we moved to Colorado. So a lot changed in our lives. And then we got to Colorado, and the job that he had been hired for wound up getting sold. And so there was a pretty dark night of the soul over the summer, which was not a sexy time at all.
Speaker 4
Oh, oh, what I wanted to
Speaker 1
say also is in postpartum, immediate postpartum, I was shocked by how turned on I was those first, yeah, like, six weeks. Wow. And it might have something to do with the fact that I know I couldn't have had sex because my yoni was healing. But and it was also that I had an epic birth, and my partner was profoundly there for me and for our daughter, and the intimacy that we generated, I mean, all the way up to, but what was happening between us in those weeks afterwards, we were so hot for each other
Speaker 3
Wow.
Speaker 1
But did not have sex.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 1
And so that was fun, and I hadn't really ever heard of oh, I had never heard someone say that to me before. And so that was nice, but and that's kind of what we've been exploring this year is that intimacy, looks so many different ways, and that intimacy right now in our first year of parenthood, doesn't look like penis and vagina very often. It doesn't, look like orgasms very often. It looks like, you know, cuddling on the couch and, you know, having a long kissing session when a commercial is muted,
Speaker 4
you know? And so we've come up
Speaker 1
with these little rituals that we agree to. Like, one is I've asked him to kiss me passionately once a day. And that's that's all I need. Yeah. It's nice. It's really, really nice. And
Speaker 3
does he surprise you? Just Yeah. Blue, he gets to decide when?
Speaker 1
Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. It's really nice because he's not a big initiator, and that's been a long standing of of six years, and it's been one of our things that that I get frustrated with because, you know, like, I I was thinking about it during your podcast. Like, you know, I wanna be like what you said, I wanna have twenty minutes of, you know, pleasure beforehand or I wanna be taken or I wanna, you know, be surprised and impromptu and the effort and the, I just find all that very hot, and that's not really his cup of tea. Uh-huh. And so so we've just basically figured out, okay, what what request can I make that inspire initiation that don't have a lot of pressure to them?
Speaker 3
That's so good. Okay. Yes. The kissing is gonna is gonna edit this podcast, so he's listening to this right now. Hey, Robbie. Let's do this. Okay? Once today, you decide when. I'll I'll make sure to brush my teeth. Or not.
Speaker 4
This morning, ours was actually unbrushed and it was great.
Speaker 1
I think we had had some coffee. And so, yeah, that's been that's been really sweet and just taken the pressure off of any noise we have around, like, we have to have sex. Because the thing for both of us is if one of us wanted to have sex, we would. Like, it's we don't have issues around that. Like, I don't but, you know, if I wanted to, I would just and and I do, you know, would just initiate, and if he wanted to, he would. But neither of us are in a very, sexualized space, you know, this this year. And so, kind of, yeah, just sitting with that balance of how do we welcome that and honor it and still be generating and cultivating intimacy. And so the kissing once a day has really and sometimes that does lead to an epic love session, and and more often than not, it doesn't. And it still energizes us and feels so sweet. And then even I noticed after that, you know, the way we're touching each other is different. It's just so sweet and it's so simple. And then we go through periods where we'll schedule it once a week, and we'll just be like, okay, Sunday, and we actually, most recently, in the last couple of months, we've been switching off who initiates. And so it's like, if it's this Sunday, and we don't talk about it, so it's just set up, like, we know that this Sunday is your Sunday and we know that next Sunday is my Sunday, and so it's not talked about. But that way, again, you know, at first, I was resistant to this because I was like, it sounds so, like, not hot. Yeah. But, I've actually been very surprised. There's a lot of sexiness in knowing that it's coming and mentally preparing for it, and maybe we drop the baby off to my sister, or maybe, you know, I'm noticing that he's, like, prepping an area when I'm putting her down, you know, for a nap, and just bringing intention really to it, because the reality is it's not the first six months of our relationship where we were fucking as much as we could and, you know, and
Speaker 4
we had no responsibilities and,
Speaker 1
you know, it was just like, of course, we took every shower together and, you know,
Speaker 4
gave each other oral sex. You know, that is not our life anymore.
Speaker 1
And one of the the biggest things that, a beautiful elder teacher of mine said to me a couple years ago when I was talking to her about sex in relationship. She said, what's cool about being with someone for so long, you know, for a lifelong partnership, is you don't have to conquer every issue now. And so she said, you know, you you might find that you guys don't give this your full focus for three more years, and that's totally okay. And so that was a huge thing off my back. It was like, oh, yeah. Like, we wanna go to tantric workshops, and we wanna, you know, have a year that's super focused on this, and, and it's not this year. And that's totally okay.
Speaker 3
That's really great. And and has your self pleasure practice changed post post No.
Speaker 1
It's pretty it's pretty much the same, except now I have a baby. Yeah. I would say it's it's it's pretty much the same.
Speaker 3
What about you? Well, I'm in a whole revolution, exciting Oh, right.
Speaker 1
Right. Right.
Speaker 3
Well, I
Speaker 4
need a revolution.
Speaker 3
Pretty quick.
Speaker 4
Yeah. I need the revolution. I'll do whatever you're doing.
Speaker 3
Alright. I yeah. I'm gonna share. It's it's so exciting. I have, like, daily dates with myself. Yeah. That sounds awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 1
And so do you just have them, like, leave the house, or you just hold up in a bedroom?
Speaker 3
Well, no. I actually have a lock on my door. Nice. And so sometimes I do it. At night after Zion and Rob have gone to bed. I get my jade egg out and and play. It's been it's been really, really good.
Speaker 1
Yeah. That sounds awesome.
Speaker 3
I remember you mentioning I think you commented on one of my posts or maybe in WhatsApp that you wanted to share something about some ideas about my prolapse.
Speaker 1
Basically, what's come up for me about what I know of you and in our friendship and and what your life was postpartum, and and I've never heard you specifically speak to it, which doesn't mean that you don't already know it and that you're not thinking about it or talking about it in your own life. But I I really don't see prolapse in women who rest for many weeks afterwards, and I know you hit the ground pretty strong pretty quickly, you know, with with all the weddings and you were holding a lot as women do, as mothers do. And so I I think that's a you know, I just wanna make sure or invite you to make sure you're kind of thinking about that when you're thinking about the the prolapse or the birth injury because that's it's pretty that's pretty much it's like one plus one equals two. You know, women, especially after they've had their first baby, I mean, it's more common, with subsequent babies because it is, you know, it takes a toll on the body, obviously. And in our culture, we see prolapse all the time. But we don't I don't see it. I'll speak for myself. I do not see it or hear stories of women, even with their sixth, seventh, eighth, or ninth babies having prolapse if they've rested. And not just for a week. I mean, like, three, four, five, six, however many weeks that they need. So this is a huge conversation because it can feel almost impossible, to have that because we don't live in a matriarchal community based supportive environment. So many women are running their households and their businesses, like I know you are. And and then also, we're not raised, you know, to give ourself that enormous permission, to really experience full deep rest and repair, after we have a baby. And so, you know, I I I did a podcast recently with a woman with twins who pre birth with twins, and then she was like, but I went to the hospital to get stitched up because I knew I wouldn't be able to rest. And it just it breaks my heart. So my invitation to you, because I know you have a big platform especially, and that you did just go through, a really hard postpartum, it sounds like, from what from what, you know, snippets I've gathered. You have a wonderful life and a wonderful family, and it seems like postpartum was pretty fucking rough on you and your body. And and, yeah, I just think we really need to connect those dots for for women that it's not random, it doesn't just happen. It's not like Susie didn't get one and you got one and you guys did the same stuff. Like, it's this is what happens when women don't rest, and it's, it's a big deal. Right? Because it super affects us.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Your intuition is completely on point with with, that is the case with me. Yeah. I totally hit the ground running and was like, feel good in my body. Let's go.
Speaker 4
I know. I know. And you and
Speaker 1
I were new friends too, and I, you know, we were talking on WhatsApp a lot because we had just, done the podcast. And I remember, you know, and I was following you now on Instagram and seeing your Insta stories, like, up and at them at this wedding or that wedding or whatever. And I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3
No wonder. He's in bed. Yeah. No wonder. Yeah.
Speaker 1
You know, and and it's and it and I see it with some of the the women that I see have the worst prolapses are the strongest, most badass women. Because, you know, because there is some stuff, and I'm not gonna say it's for you because I'm not in your head, but I think it there's this, like, thing of, you know, I can do everything. I can do everything, and I feel good enough, and I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'm a warrior. I'm a survivor. I'm strong. I have shit to do, you know, but there's a real cost to it. And and I guess I would lastly offer that it's not your fault, it's nothing to feel guilty about, it's nothing like that. You are literally raised, you know, and told your whole life to not carve out space for yourself, And the fact that you are doing that now with your sexuality and that you are having you dates, you know, and even if, even if it's not sexual pleasure based, even if it's just laying there with your hand on your yoni or your hand on your heart or your womb, or where that prolapse occurred, you know, putting your hands right there and just breathing, I mean, that there's it's never too late, you know, for that repair and for that love, and and to say, I can carve out space now because I didn't know that I needed to do it then, and I can do it now.
Speaker 3
Yes. This is so on point.
Speaker 1
My sister said something to me right around when my baby was born that stuck in my head, and she's a a rollfer and a body worker, and and she just, when we were talking about my rest period, she said, this isn't just about laying in for your first year, this is about laying in for when you're fucking fifty, and when you're sixty, and that you're not dealing with incontinence and prolapses, you know, at seventy, you know? And so that's that's what I've she really it's so true, you know? And we're just so focused on getting back into life and integrating and, and, you know, doing what we need to do and doing it consciously and, and, you know, everything. But, you know, we also, we have to take care of our pelvises for fifty years from now, You know, should we still be alive? Or for twenty years from now. You know, I grew up with a mom who every time she sneezed, she peed. And now I know that shouldn't have been happening. She didn't know about pelvic floor work. She didn't know she didn't have a a situation where she could lay in bed and rest for weeks after each baby, you know. Anyway, that's my two cents.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Beautiful. I wanna ask you, what are some of your favorite self care practices? What do you do to turn yourself on or just feel good in your body or shift stagnant, non sexy energy?
Speaker 1
So specifically, like, centering to to get into my own sexuality?
Speaker 3
Sure. Or just what what makes you feel good as a as a new mama?
Speaker 1
Well, there's, like, really simple stuff, like going outside. Going for a walk is just so simple and huge because I work from home, so I can just go all day being inside. You know, I've had a real challenge with self care this year, and I I'm been trying to give myself the spaciousness to just let it be okay. Again, kind of what I was saying about that woman being, like, you can always work on it next year. Something that I've seen about this morning knowing that you and I were gonna talk, something that I've been really Yeah. Just leaning into and learning about this year since I've become a mother is the shift in sexuality. Not it going away, just the shift and really noticing being out in the world with a baby, the difference, you know, of how I'm treated, how I'm looked at or not looked at, and really, really enjoying it. Mhmm. And I didn't know I would because up until basically very, very recently, I heavily identified as a very sexual person. And I loved the male gaze, and I loved attention, and- and enjoyed dressing, you know, in ways that made me feel sexy and powerful and playing with all of that. But then I've also become a pretty radical feminist in the last, you know, handful of years, and so I've been really unpacking why do I like that? Why do I like why why does giving me you know, putting makeup on my face, or getting more attention from, you know, the male gaze and all of that, what what is that feeling for me? And really diving into what do I find hot in a woman? What is what is the most sexy like, what woman catches my eye? And and, you know, what women do I follow on social media or, you know, who I hang out with that I'm just totally lit up by? And it's always really badass mothers. And and and that's what I've become, you know, and just to embrace that and love it and feel so it's like I'm owning my sexuality and not giving it away and having, you know, having it be evaluated by the male gaze. Mhmm. Because, you know, the average dude, as we know, doesn't think a woman with a baby is like eye catching. Although, a lot of the powerful wonderful, you
Speaker 4
know, feminist men I I know, actually do think that mothers are the hottest.
Speaker 1
So, anyway, so, actually do think that mothers are the hottest. So anyway, so yeah, it's been this like deep transition of, you know, of course my body is different, my breasts are very different as I'm nursing and and they're bigger than they've ever been and that's been really fun to be like, woah, because I I had very small breasts before and now I don't. And that's been really fun. And yeah, just my body being softer, but also feeling so fucking womanly, and just so powerful, and so proud of this relationship with my baby. And she's so lovely, and, you know, everyone just adores her. And just to be that woman in the world who's, you know, just nurturing this baby and is in this happy marriage, and I'm not assessing everything off of the attention I'm getting, because I've really felt this huge shift inside of myself that I am the power, you know, like, it is me. I am generating it, and I am off charging it to everyone around me, and it feels profoundly different. Like I stopped shaving a couple months ago and it was just this, like, it was a challenge to myself because it's one of my, you know, it's one of our, as women, huge socializations that are very very, for me, very confronting is like, okay. I have been told my whole life that women should be bald essentially on their whole body except for their head. You know, that they should be totally, like, pussy should be shaven, you know, armpits shaven, legs shaven, and I pretty much just went along with that, you know, and I thought that that felt the best and looked the best, and and But again, that's just my socializations. Something just changed in me, and I was like, you know what? I wanna see what it looks like and feels like for me to fully see myself. And I have never seen myself not shaved. I started shaving when I was like in fourth grade. Yeah. And so, I was like down I didn't and and I have to say, I mean, so it's been many months now, and I wouldn't say I love it, but what I'm identifying is I don't love it because I'm told it's gross, or because I'm told that men think it's gross. And so, I'm just like sitting with that and playing with that and, like, I did my first yoga class with my armpits out
Speaker 4
the other day and was so self conscious about it.
Speaker 1
Of course, no one's looking at me And and just Yeah. Just feeling really ready to look at that. And I don't know that it'll be something I do forever, but I just wanted to feel into, like, my womanhood that's uninterrupted, you know, that nobody is moderating for me. And can I still feel or could I feel even more, you know, in my body and and and even more proud?
Speaker 3
These are such important explorations, especially as we consider being a sexual mother. That Mhmm. That concept of a sexual mother. Right? It's, like, not allowed. Yeah. It's Yeah. You can't be both.
Speaker 1
Totally. No. You're just supposed to, like, wear fat jeans and cut your hair short, and that's fine if that's if that's how you want to roll, but we teach our mothers that you become invisible, you know, and we we see it. We see it the second a baby's on the outside, you know. It's very rare that someone asks how you are, it's all about the baby, it's all about oohing and aahing over the baby, which is fine, whatever. But there's a real invisibility that happens, it's particularly in a sexual yeah. Like, it's it like you just said, mothers aren't sexual, which is ironic because they obviously had sex to have the baby. And and it's just it's something really important to explore. I just did a beautiful podcast with this woman who she said that she'd never felt sexual until she became a mother, and now she is loving herself and nourishing herself and she's so in her sexuality. And until it really took her, transitioning into this new stage of life to go there, and she feels so visible and she never felt that way before. So it's just been this huge blessing to her and it really stuck with me because I was like, Damn, yeah, that is pretty much the opposite of what we're taught, you know? And here we are totally doing it, being visible, sexual, loving, nurturing, bright, powerful women, and our children are an extension of that. You know, it doesn't I reject the notion that when you begin to give life on this planet that you should, you know, shut up and be invisible like we're like we're taught.
Speaker 3
On your platforms, you speak a lot about matriarchy, and I always find it to be so refreshing and so beautiful. I think before that, the last time I was reading or hearing about matriarchy was in university, you know, doing my sexual anthropology course. Honestly, that was the the last time. And, even a few days ago, you posted an Instagram of Suni. It was so cute. I know. Your chair and and the caption read, just waiting around for matriarchy.
Speaker 4
I know. My friend made that.
Speaker 3
This sounds so sweet. So then what what does that mean to you, and how can we start building a a world like that? Mhmm.
Speaker 1
Yeah. It's a really important question, and, you know, there's a million answers to it, but, where where I go with it is, first of all, I wanna say to anyone listening to this who is confronted by the idea of matriarchy, what I see very often when I post anything about matriarchy is women are, and only women, are very, very quick to go, well, matriarchy will be just as bad as patriarchy. And it's it's, you know, it's the power that's making, you know, men be like this, and that'll just happen to us too. And, you know, matriarchy shouldn't be shouldn't replace. And that's something I see so regularly because so I just wanna point it out before we get into this conversation. There is an implication I see very widespread from women that matriarchy would be equal, would be patriarchy just reversed. And that's not it at all. That's not it at at at all. And so, yeah, I just think it's important to to preface that because women get really triggered when I talk about matriarchy. And I think, you know, it's because they don't understand what it is. And so, with that, you know, I just wanna say that matriarchy is the centering of women and girls, and just like patriarchy is the centering of of men and boys. And so, what I even wanna point out in women being so quick to come to the defense of men actually proves the point that we would not be just like patriarchy. Because as women, as maternal, you know, heart centered, generous creatures that give life, you know, and nurture these babies, all over the planet, we hold boys and girls. We hold our men, we hold our women in a way that, is very obvious is not happening, with the powers that be today and have not been for a very, very long time. So matriarchy to me just means the centering of of women and girls, and what I've seen to be true all over the world in my studies is that when women are centered, when girls are centered, whole communities thrive, Whole families shift. I mean, there are epic TED Talks and books and stuff to read about out there of, of what's happening, you know, following the life of one young girl in a small rural village in China, who is given the chance to go to school, and is given the chance to, you know, be more than her third grade, you know, academic level because they're going to prioritize the boys, education. And so, you know, this happens all over the world again, patriarchy. And so identifying what patriarchy is and how that shows up for us in every fucking way all day, every day, I think is a really awesome first step. You don't have to do it with like venom in your heart. Let's just start naming things because the naming is we can't move forward if we haven't named it.
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 1
So and we can we can put in the show notes of the of the podcast, like, the suggestions of books and stuff if anyone wants to.
Speaker 3
I would love that. And your favorite playlist and the chants that you'd like to dance to.
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. Okay. Cool. So we'll we'll get to that stuff later. I won't I won't try to conjure it all up in my brain right now. But so so with matriarchy, you know, in in my mind, what I think about a lot is the one of the most effective tools of destroying womanhood and oppressing women has been the destruction of community. And so, of course, I'm birth centered in my life, so where I go with that is, when women don't have community, they go to the hospitals. When women don't have community, they don't know what to do. They don't know about breastfeeding. You know, when women don't have community and family, they have prolapses, you know. They're up and out of the house. They're oh, gosh. It's just such a long such a long, list. So community, you know, we talk about it a lot, but who's really building it? Who's really showing up for it? And most importantly, who's committed to it? Mhmm. So what I mean by that is it's one thing to host a circle every month, it's another to have a group of ten women co committed to it. So, I've been playing with that in my life, because I just started a woman's circle, and I made it very clear, this isn't me hosting and you guys coming, and whoever can make it can come. This is us, should you choose to want to to do this. This is us choosing to be in community together, which means I don't do all of this myself, you know, and and what does that look like? Because it's actually not easy to be committed to community. You know, our lives are busy and we live very singular lives, and so that's kind of personally for me in my life right now, what I'm playing with is, you know, be the brass tacks, like literally just gather, just start to sit in circle because I've seen consistently my whole life working with women. The magic that happens in circle, it changes women really quickly. You know, sitting, we used to have these things called the sexy girl meetings in LA, and it was a group of, like, twelve to fifteen of us, all different ages and different backgrounds. And, and we would just pick a question every week. We met every week for, like, twelve weeks, I think. And we filled out this form that my girlfriend, Crystal, had made up. And, every week we picked a different topic, and we would just sit in circle and talk about it. You know, when did you, first learn about masturbation? Or, tell us the story of how you lost your virginity? Or how was sex portrayed in your family growing up, or what's your current self image, you know, like, and and, you know, what's your relationship to your body right now, whatever. Really simple questions. But to sit in circle and hear how diverse everyone's stories were, some were full of shame, some were full of assault, some were full of health, you know, and great families that did talk about stuff. Others, you know, shared that they first experienced sex by, you know, fingering their cousin or all sorts of actually very normal and common stories, you know, or masturbating in the crib, things that we are not allowed to talk about or share. And then all of a sudden we are allowed to talk about it and share. And that to me is how matriarchy starts, is by creating these spaces where we get to normalize sexuality and womanhood and being a kid and being a witch. You know, that's a huge thing. Like so many women when I are I'm with them, they start talking about their relationship to the spirit world when they were a kid and like myself, had nowhere safe to talk about it. I was, I was tormented by this dark shadow thing in, in third grade, and I didn't know what it was. I certainly couldn't talk to my Christian family about it, and it was scary. And and in retrospect, you know, finally, it occurred to me I could tell it to go away, and I did and it did. But I I I always remember that creepy shadow thing in my room, I remember exactly where it would would hang out at night by this aqua colored fan that I had. And so there's so many stories like this that when women start to talk, you know, they talk about their relationship with the spirit world when they were a kid, and then patriarchy just, you know, shuts it the fuck down, and then you get into your sexuality totally socialized to be centered around, you know, the male gaze, and then then it's pretty much like an attempt to come back home in our twenties or thirties or forties. And so, that that to me is the most simple, solution is it is community, because when women have women at their back, shit changes real fast. And when women start attending other women's births, shit changes real fast. You know, we have to renormalize the most basic parts of being a woman, like our menstrual cycles being a positive, beautiful, nourishing thing. Even if they're coming with, you know, pain or or, not great feelings, that, you know, we need to release this idea of shame and grossness around it that's still so heavily carried in our culture. Again, of course, patriarchy, right? Like there's whole religious sects that say that women are so fucking dirty when they're bleeding, you can't even be touched. Fuck that. That is so painful. That is so fucking painful and untrue. And so, you know, from our cycles to birth, to postpartum, to breastfeeding, to sex and self pleasure, you know, that masturbation is still a taboo word. I mean, there's these core foundations of who we are as women, you know, woman with with pussies and with boobs and with, you know, all of this stuff that comes with our our hormones, you know, that that hormones have such a negative connotation. Oh, she's being hormonal. Fuck yeah. She's being hormonal. And and guess what? We are hormonal and so are men, so are all mammals.
Speaker 4
Oh, humanness. Come on. Yeah. So just
Speaker 1
I think the reclamation really happens in those simple steps of don't overthink it, just gather. I think that's really huge. Like, stop talking about community and literally gather. Commit to a weekly family community meal where you can hop houses every every Friday, or have a woman's circle. You don't need to have it planned out. It could just be how are you doing, and everyone gets a space to talk. Women are so, so desperate to be seen and heard. Give that to each other, you know, and see what happens, because that's that's where women start talking and sharing stories, and everyone gets elevated.
Speaker 3
So good.
Speaker 1
Know what I mean, Jelly Bean?
Speaker 3
Yeah, mama. Thank you so much. This is beautiful. And I'd love, to wrap up by having you share with our listeners a little bit about your course. Incredible free birthing course.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Thank you. So we released a really comprehensive and very in-depth, online course called the complete guide to free birth, And it's a ten module course that covers, well, it's
Speaker 4
called The Complete Guide. It's everything we could possibly think of. It took a
Speaker 1
very long time to create, and, very, very proud of it. It's a video based course, but there is also transcripts for every video if you're more of a reader. And then we have worksheets, and and more of the, like, creativity stuff, and spiritual stuff, if you if you wanna go there, but it's, you know, you do what you want. And and the the point of it is to really unpack the medicalized model of care. So, we spend many modules going through evidence based information and a new perspective. You know, we're very critical of industrial birth practices, and, so we break down a lot of those myths and, what obstetrical prenatal care would look like and alternatives, and then we get into what it can look like to take full responsibility for your own prenatal care, everything from supplements and and nutrition stuff you might wanna think about to oh, there's just so much. There's so much. It's it's really there's a lot of information in it. But what what Katya and I were talking about before we started recording was another way to think about this course is it's a radical look at childbirth education and radical, you know, the etymology of that as Katya pointed out when we first became friends is back to roots. So it's, it's it's radical because what has now become the norm is so far from our roots. It's so far from natural. There's nothing natural about leaving your home and having a highly medicalized birth. And so if you're interested in learning another perspective, you don't have to be choosing to birth without medical management though that is what is centered. So free birth society as a whole is centering women who are interested in learning about or are choosing, to center themselves and to manage themselves. That doesn't mean they don't have support and love and, and, care, but it means that we are just carving out a space in the universe to center women who are choosing to go through birth and and their childbirth, and their pregnancy without medical management. And so, that's really what the the course is, is to give you the tools and information to do that in confidence. We've been just having wonderful, wonderful birth stories roll in of women who have taken the course. And, and, and I guess I should also say to anyone who's new to me that the fundamental principle of free birth society and free birth at large is that this is an exploration of you taking responsibility for yourself. So this is not a course where I'm telling you to do anything. These are just We are not medical experts by any means, but birth also is not owned by the medical model. You know, it's- it's owned by women. And so we are women who have walked with women for a long time, and who have free birthed our own babies, and we're sharing our collective wisdom of, many, many years of what we know to be true and- and possible and available. So, yeah, you can learn more about it through our website at freebirthsociety dot com. And it's super awesome. I'm really proud of it. Oh, and the other thing I wanna plug is this new membership that, thanks to Katya, got us on Mighty Networks, which I'm loving. We left, Facebook, and it feels really, really good to be in this new super clean space. And so it's a highly vetted little membership. So I interview everybody and you sign some agreements to get in because we really want high quality committed women, and it's just been so special. So it's a safe protected space. It's, it works similar to Facebook, but it's just ours. It's just a cool platform. And- It's so awesome. Yeah. I'm loving it. Yeah. We're having a lot of fun in there and it's super focused and just radical badass women and, and, yeah, it's definitely something to check out. So all of that can be found through through the website free birth society dot com.
Speaker 3
I'm a proud member. Yeah. Well, Emily, thank you so much, sister, for being here with me. I already can't wait to have you back.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Me too. Awesome. Thank you. Okay. Thank you for listening. I hope you loved it. And as promised are you ready for the announcement? Katya and I are co leading a seven night epic women's retreat in Katia's beautiful home of Dominican Republic in February of twenty twenty, so one year from now. We have booked a ridiculous jungle getaway property just for us to dance and move and talk and swim and sleep and so much more. So come heal, recharge, rewire your nervous system, come back home to yourself and to sisterhood. It is the mother lovin' retreat centering the phase of womanhood that is motherhood, and it's open to any and all women. There are only twenty spots, and we are going to be giving priority and special pricing to women in our communities first. So if you have been wanting to join our membership, go to free birth society dot com and apply. Now is the time. We'll be posting the dates and all the details soon, so stay tuned. That's it for today, everyone. Join us next week for another episode of the Free Birth Podcast. Thanks for joining us, and remember, your body, your choice. Lots of love.
