Speaker 0
Welcome to the Free Birth Podcast, a supportive space for people who are learning, exploring, and celebrating their autonomous choices in child childbirth. Together, we'll unpack truths, share personal stories, and claim our ability to birth freely and intuitively. Here's your host, Emilee
Speaker 1
Saldaya. There
Speaker 2
are lots of different ways to interact with free birth society and our work in the world. We have our flagship course, the complete guide to free birth, which is an incredible online course jam packed with everything we think one would want to know to feel confident to birth in their power. We also recently released a companion course full of meditations, sacred rituals, and journaling prompts to support in releasing fear and tuning in to your ancient womb wisdom. We, of course, have our private membership if you're looking for a community of like minded, radical, and wild women, and you can apply for that on our website. We offer personalized one on one transformational coaching with the focus on learning the tools to move out of victim consciousness and into self responsibility, which is, quite frankly, freedom. And it's worth mentioning that if you've been drooling over our mother loving retreat in Dominican Republic this coming February, we do have a few spots left open, and you should totally come join us in a magical week in paradise. Find out more about all of this on our website, free birth society dot com. This week, we are joined by Jeanne from North Carolina who chose wild pregnancies and free births for both of her children. After witnessing a hospital birth prior to her first baby, she was launched into her passion to both understand and protect birth. When pregnant, she couldn't find a midwife she connected with, so the choice was simple. She would have a family centered free birth. Jeanne tells us about how she chose to trust in her innate intelligence, how she accepted the what ifs, and how her nine pound baby boy came out in two pushes.
Speaker 3
Well, first, let me just say I come from a family of over forty chiropractors, and in turn, there's, like, over forty of us that were born at home, including, like, the second generation now, like, you know, all of our kids that are being born. So, that's really cool. And I guess I never really thought about, you know, it was just always they'd given that I would give birth at home. And it really started for me, when my husband and I, we were in our first year of practice, he's a chiropractor, And we had a patient who yeah. Of course. Right?
Speaker 1
And you are too?
Speaker 3
I'm not a chiropractor. I, ran the office, though.
Speaker 1
Okay.
Speaker 3
So we had a patient who was pregnant with her first, and she just really was unsure of the whole process. You know, didn't know much about anything, and she just really needed help and guidance. So, you know, we adjusted her through her pregnancy, and then when it came time that she, like, you know, was going into labor, she asked if I could, you know, stay with her at the hospital. And so I did, and so that was really my first exposure to, well, a, a birth. I had never been to birth before. And, and a hospital birth at that, I had never been to hospital birth. So all I've ever known was home births. So, you know, that was very eye opening. I didn't know anything about birth either. It's not like I had studied it or knew all this, you know, the things, but I just knew how normal birth was. Like, that's just all I've ever known. So she would say, like, is this normal? Like or or what they saying? Because, of course, you know, they were just being horrible to her. Mhmm. She's she speaks Spanish, and so she's you know, that's her first language and her second language is English. So they kept being so, you know, like, I don't think you're understanding
Speaker 1
what
Speaker 3
we're saying. Like, they're being so condescending and, like, just so rude to her, and so every time they would leave, I would just say, you know, like, I don't know, but I know that birth is normal and everything that's happening is normal. So and in anyways, it ended up being great. She had a totally natural birth, you know, with no interventions whatsoever and
Speaker 1
Wow. Go, girl.
Speaker 3
Like, I just left there being, like, wow. I did not know that that's what was happening in a hospital birth. Like, how crazy it was. So anyways, it just kind of launched me into, like, this passion that I have today just for birth. So I just, like, was reading everything and, you know, on all the blogs and watching all the documentaries, and I just, like, kinda launched myself into that. And so that was, like, I mean, it had to have been seven years ago. So it was like, you know, three years before I ever got pregnant. But, so anyways, when I got pregnant, I we're in North Carolina, so the home birth laws are not, you know, super great, but, I tried finding a midwife. Like, I didn't want a a nurse midwife. I wanted a practicing midwife or just, like, a wise woman, but I they're very hard to come by. They're kind of like
Speaker 1
And why didn't you want a nurse midwife?
Speaker 3
Because they practice under an OB's license and they just I mean, you I just knew, like, how that would go. Like, they're just they have to follow the rules and they have to you know what I mean? So I just that's just not and I I had never known that. Like, I I know like, my aunt is a midwife and, like, she's a wise woman. So, like, that's what I know to be a midwife. Gotcha. Yeah. So I I didn't want, like, a glorified OB. Like, I wanted a true midwife. So I found one, and I, interviewed her, and I knew pretty much right away. I was like, no. You're not right for my birth. Like, I just didn't like the way she was answering my questions and things that maybe I knew were, like, a nonissue. Like, she kind of was like, oh, yeah. Maybe we would, you know, go to the hospital in that circumstance. And I was like, no. No. No. No. No. So I decided not to hire her, and she was the only one that I had found. So I was like, well, if I'm not just gonna hire you because you're the only one I can find, like, so my husband and I were like, okay, well then we'll just do it on our own. Wow. Yeah. So we did.
Speaker 1
So many women just hire the midwife.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And that relationship between you and your midwife is so it has to be right. You can't just hire anybody, like
Speaker 1
Well, it's like your husband.
Speaker 3
Right. Okay.
Speaker 1
Like, you gotta date around and see how it fits. And, you know, most people, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say most people need to shuffle through quite a few. Yes. You know? Like, could you imagine if we I mean, I don't know your history, but, like, if I had married the first guy that
Speaker 3
I fell in love with. Exactly. No good.
Speaker 1
No good. No good. No good. No good.
Speaker 3
No good. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Yeah. So, yeah. So we just decided, okay. Like, we're just gonna do it on our own, and that was I mean, it felt actually great because my dad's a chiropractor, and I I grew up only seeing him, like, for adjustments, and we ate healthy and we were active, like, we never went to the doctor. We never went for medical treatment unless it was, like, an emergency situation, like, a broken bone or, like, I I got a golf club in my nose, so I had to get stitches. Like, it was like true emergency situations only. So that's how that's all I've ever known. So it actually felt totally normal to me to not have somebody, like, oversee my pregnancy and birth because it's not how I've ever lived. I've never, like, gone to a third party to, like, dictate, like, are you healthy or not? Like, I've always taken control of my own health and, you know, I've been healthy my whole life. So this was not gonna be any different, you know, I wasn't gonna seek, like, outside sources to, like, you know, manage my pregnancy. So we, you know, we had a great pregnancy and I was forty weeks and three days. And we were at, I had been cross fitting three times a week, so we were at, like, our twelve o'clock class that we always went to. My husband and I went together. And I would always feel, like, if I kind of, like, was overdoing it, I would feel some tightness in my belly. And then, like, after I would, like, cool down a bit and the workout was done, then it would, like, go away very quickly, like, within, you know, ten minutes. So after this class, I, you know, was feeling that tightness, and I was like, okay. But, you know, thirty minutes went by and it wasn't going away, and it was getting getting it was progressively, like, the tightness was getting tighter and tighter instead of, like, going away. So I was like, okay, this actually could be it. So we, like, grabbed food because it was lunchtime. So we grabbed food and we, you know, we're gonna drive home and I was like, there was actually still a few things that I needed, like, that I hadn't gotten yet. So I was like, we we better stop at Target and just grab a few things. So we went, but, like, it was it was, like, it came out right out, like, super hard, super fast, like but, like, so within that first hour of, like, going to get food and deciding, like, I don't wanna eat at the restaurant. Let's take it home. Getting to Target, like, I already, like when I would feel a sensation, like, I already couldn't talk through it. Like, I had to, like, stop and focus and, like, be quiet.
Speaker 1
I wonder how many women have been in labor in Target.
Speaker 3
I know. Right?
Speaker 1
I feel like it's gotta be, like, a million.
Speaker 3
Yes. I mean, you're totally right. Because it's always, like, oh, I'm in labor. Let's go to Target.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Okay. So you were you able to complete the Target run?
Speaker 3
Yeah. It was a quick run. We just got, you know, pads and things like that for after, things that I hadn't gotten yet. So we head home and, you know, we all, like, are eating lunch and I'm having, like, a couple of bites, but it's really not going down. So I'm like, okay. I'm not gonna eat. My mom was in town. She's from Canada, so she flew down and she was there. Like, we always knew that it was just gonna be in the bedroom where the tub was set up and everything. It was just gonna be my husband and I, but I had my mom and my in laws and my sister-in-law downstairs.
Speaker 1
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3
And so and that was fine. Like, I was like, you guys can be in the house, but you're not gonna be in the room. Like So it was
Speaker 1
four more people?
Speaker 3
Yeah. There was four more people. Downstairs? Downstairs. Yeah. Okay. So but at this point, like, when we're having lunch and I'm realizing that I'm, you know, I didn't wanna eat, it was just my mom and my husband at that time.
Speaker 1
And your family's response to your choice to free birth, like, were you totally transparent out the gates and everyone was like, hell yeah?
Speaker 3
Yeah. Totally. I had a cousin who had had three of her own. Everybody else in my family had had midwives. Right. And then but my cousin had had three. So, you know, I spoke with her, and it was you know, she had an amazing experience. And my mom I mean, she had done it, you know, at this point, like, thirty years ago was her last one. So she was, like, maybe slightly nervous, but she never told me. Like, she would have probably preferred that I had a midwife there, but she completely trusted my judgment and Greg's judgment and, like, was totally fine with it. But she never voiced anything. Yeah. She knows how sacred and precious, like, that is. So, like, she knew not to say like, she I only ever found out after the fact, you know.
Speaker 1
Yeah. That's so refreshing.
Speaker 3
Wow. Yes.
Speaker 1
Like, talk about what a normal setup you have. Like, normally Yeah. Of what it should be. Right?
Speaker 3
Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, I just I'm so blessed. Like, I just love where we came from and how we grew up and, like Wow. The amazingness of, like yeah. It's it's it's really a beautiful thing because it's so rare.
Speaker 1
That's what I was gonna say. Well, it's a beautiful thing, period. Even if it wasn't rare,
Speaker 3
it would be Right. Yeah.
Speaker 1
So beautiful. It's actually, like, really fucking sad that I've almost never heard anyone say that.
Speaker 3
I know. Yeah.
Speaker 1
How did you navigate the what ifs and the education and the complications and the like, where was your line of, self education and comfort around all of that?
Speaker 3
There were no what ifs for us. Like, they're just we we had one we had the opportunity to sit down with my aunt who's the midwife. I mean, she's a retired midwife at this point, but, we sat down with her once when we were visiting back in Canada. I was probably about six months pregnant, and she was just, like, going over things like, you know, this is how you're gonna cut the cord, and this is, you know, like, things that, like, I wouldn't know otherwise. Like, so she was just walking me through, like, this is what an actual, like, birth will look like for somebody who's never done it before. Right? And so she, you know, she was like, you know, and we have to have this conversation. Like, so are you you guys are doing it on your own at home. There's not gonna be, like, a midwife to help you or a doctor or whatever. So, like, if the baby comes out and, you know, it's kind of like a stillbirth situation or, you know, whatever. If there's something, like, where you can tell, like, the baby is not good, you have to make, like, are you okay with just staying at home and letting things happen the way that they should happen, or do you wanna rush to the hospital and have every possible intervention and have the baby hooked up to all these things?
Speaker 1
Like it's a stillbirth, it's a stillbirth.
Speaker 3
Yes.
Speaker 1
If it's a stillbirth, the baby's already gone.
Speaker 3
Right. Right. Right.
Speaker 1
But, like, you you mean, like, if the baby's born, like, not well?
Speaker 3
Not well. And so it's like we, you know, we had to be like, okay. Well, like, it's kind of like if that's what's gonna happen, then that's what was meant to happen. Like, I'm not I don't know. We're just so low intervention people that in all aspects of our life that, you know, getting hooked up to, like, machines and pumped full of drugs and, like, that's just not it's just not what we would have wanted anyways. So that was really the only discussion. Like, that and that's, like, the worst possible, you know, like and so that was it. We had that one conversation. We decided, no. Like, whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen, and we're okay with that. And that's that was the end of it. Like, there was no, like but what if
Speaker 1
Yeah. And and I think it's a good point because I honestly feel like when women are super committed to worrying and they're obsessed with the what ifs, they're not great candidates for home birth slash free birth.
Speaker 3
Yes. I know. I agree.
Speaker 1
And that doesn't mean they don't still free birth because I'm thinking of a couple women in my head who are total worry warts, who I just adore.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Who absolute who free birth. So it Yeah. You know, birth happens regardless of if you're worried or not.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Exactly.
Speaker 1
Which I love. But but in terms of kind of feeling, you know, yeah, emotionally, integrated into Yeah. You know, into what's about to happen. Yeah. I think that, you know, it sounds like you're very similar to me of just being, like, cool. I'll handle whatever comes and
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 1
You know, when we trust our own internal resources, there's no point to obsess over No. What isn't even occurring yet.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. I just I really I mean, physically, mentally, and emotionally, I just prepared, Like, going across it was amazing because mentally, it's just pushing you to, you know, a place that you're just not normally in. Like, you're getting pushed physically. And so I used that. I was like, okay. When there was, like, an exercise where I had to keep going for another minute, it's like, okay. I can do anything for this one minute. Mhmm. And it was the same, like, it's the same in in childbirth. It's like, you can do anything. You can get through it. And mentally, if, you know, I was just, like, so I had gotten myself to a place where I was just, like, so strong mentally. Like, it like, nothing could have, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1
Like, broken you?
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. I had just, like, worked on that.
Speaker 2
So we're at the start
Speaker 1
of your labor, your mom is there Yep. And you can't eat the food.
Speaker 3
Like, I didn't wanna eat the food, so, you know, we were like, okay, let's go for a walk in the neighborhood. So we start walking a couple minutes into it. I start crying and I'm like, oh, dear God. Like, this is this is way worse than I ever thought it would be. Like, I so I had a moment. I I, like, I broke down, I started crying, and I was like, if this is how bad it is and I'm not even two hours into it, like, what am I gonna do? And and it lasted honestly only a minute or two. Like, I let myself have those two minutes, and then but immediately, I was like, no. And I shut it down, and I said, you can do this. You're not, like, you're gonna be totally fine. So I got back into my state that I had been prepping for so long, and it was over. And then I was like, okay, I'm back in the zone now. Nice. So we want And
Speaker 1
and I love the, like, yeah, it's fucking hard and I do it anyway. Exactly. Isn't that motherhood? Isn't that womanhood? You know? Yeah. It's like crossfit.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Exactly. Like, it's not fun, but you do it anyways. So, yeah. So we walked the neighborhood, and then we go back home. At this point, my in laws were there, and my mother-in-law was, like, sewing on her machine, like, a baby blanket or something. And I just like, I was walking kind of I mean, we were just in a small town home, so the the lower level, I was just, like, kinda walking around, and I just remember that sewing machine noise, and I was like, no. So I was like, it is time to go upstairs. So we went upstairs, and so this has only been, like, three hours now into the whole process, and so I'm like, no. We gotta get up to the room. So we go upstairs, and I took lots of showers. I had horrible back labor, so Greg was, like, squeezing my hips. I was, like, yelling at him, like, harder, harder. Like, it was just, like, his poor arms and hands were so dead. Like, and, so I was, like, in and out of the shower the whole time. You know, we kept things dark. I had, like, my music that I had been listening to throughout my pregnancy. It's called childbirth in the glory. And so I had, like, the one track that I really loved, like, just on repeat, on repeat, on repeat. And, I mean, this went on for, like, fifteen hours, like, it was just, like, she was born after twenty one hours. So I don't remember exactly at what point I got in the tub, but we filled up the tub and I got in at some point. And this went on for I mean, I don't know how long. There the thing is, like, I was so in the zone and when you're like, I wasn't I wasn't looking at the time. Like, I had no concept of time. I didn't know what time it was. I didn't know, like, how how long I had been in labor for. I didn't know, like, anything. Like, I was just, like, so in the zone and focused. I had no idea what was going on. So at some point, I got in the tub, and I was in there, I I I'm assuming for about six hours because I pushed for about five hours, and then that was all in the tub. Mhmm. So I was just, like, I was leaning over the edge, and I was, you know, I pushed for a, you know, a very long time. And towards the end, I guess, in that last hour, I remember this I could see, like, through the, blinds, like, the sun was coming up. So I was like, oh, like, it's the next day, like, and I had I mean, I just had no clue. And throughout, like, it was it was very painful in my back. I'm not gonna lie, like, it was super hard, but it went by, like, so fast too. Like, how can you be in that much pain and, like, not even not even be aware of the time, you know. And so
Speaker 1
I think it's hormones.
Speaker 3
Okay. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1
it's hormones and that you were feeling safe.
Speaker 3
Yes.
Speaker 1
You were undisturbed. You were surrounded by your loved ones. Absolutely. And like you said, you had cultivated your mental endurance.
Speaker 3
Mhmm. You had been preparing
Speaker 1
for this, so you just fucking did it.
Speaker 3
Yeah. That and that was my attitude, like, I'm just gonna fucking do it. Like, all these people before me have done it. It's not gonna be any different for me. You know what I mean? Like, but you just gotta go into it like that. So that last hour, I remember the sun coming up and, you know, how you take little naps right when the baby's about to come out. So I do remember falling asleep for a few minutes, you know, here and there. And then, I mean, and then I could feel her head, like, coming down and then going back up and coming down, going back up. And then at one point, I put my hand down and I felt that there was hair, and that's all I wanted was a baby with hair. Like like, because of course, you know, we didn't know the gender or anything like that. We didn't know what we were, you know, gonna have, but I just I wanted a baby with hair and so I felt that there was hair and I was like, the baby has hair. And so, you know, I don't know. So I just kept pushing and then the head came out, and I think it probably was a couple more pushes and then the body came out. And it was a girl. And I wanted a girl so badly. So it was a girl, and so I just, like, put her on my chest. Greg caught her from behind. I was, like, leaning over, so he caught her and then passed her back to me. And, you know, she is covered in vernix, so I was, like, rubbing it in and she was, you know, coughing up some stuff. So I was just encouraging her, like, you're doing such a good job, you know, get all that junk out of there, you know. And so he, you know, ran out and was like, it's a girl. And so then everybody came up.
Speaker 1
Aw. And so they were all holding it down downstairs.
Speaker 3
They were all through the night. They were up all night.
Speaker 1
Aw, that's so cute.
Speaker 3
Yeah. At one point, my father-in-law had to go in the car because he couldn't listen to me scream anymore. I was I was very vocal and very loud.
Speaker 1
Well, yeah.
Speaker 3
He just felt like he felt so bad. He couldn't hear me be in that kind of pain, so he had to leave. And and my mom said the same thing, like, it was so hard to hear your daughter, like, be in that much pain, you know. So anyways, like, yeah, he was like, it's a girl, and so they all ran upstairs and
Speaker 1
I I hope when you know, if if you and I get the privilege of attending our daughter's births
Speaker 3
Right.
Speaker 1
I hope that it's not hard to hear
Speaker 3
it. Mhmm. You know, like Yeah. I agree with you.
Speaker 1
I know you Yeah. Like, I don't think it's just a given. I think that there's some work there, you know, that that hopefully will be able to be like, yes, wild woman. Like, yes, fucking roar, scream. Like, I know it hurts and that's okay.
Speaker 3
Exactly. Let yourself do whatever you need to do. Yeah.
Speaker 1
And that it's fine. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 1
I mean, part of it is, I guess, you know, I I attend birth and so I see women do that all the time. So Mhmm. Hopefully, that will continue. So by the time she has her kid, I won't have forgotten.
Speaker 3
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1
I think part of it is like that like you mentioned in the beginning, though, like, it's been thirty years
Speaker 3
and Right. Yeah. There's a
Speaker 1
separation from it.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Exactly. Yep.
Speaker 1
So they all come upstairs.
Speaker 3
So they all come upstairs and, you know, they look at her and, you know, they take a few pictures of us. You know, of course of course, we have, like, no pictures of it because it was just the two of us and Yeah.
Speaker 1
So Do you remember the placenta?
Speaker 3
Yeah. So it's funny because I didn't know this until a couple of months ago when I finally took my doula training with, Jessica Austin and Gloria LeMay. Aw. I thought I had a big chunk of my placenta come out first, but now they told me that it was actually just a big clot. Mhmm. And I had this whole time, I had no idea. Like, I always thought it was a chunk of my placenta that came out like this. So anyways, at this point, I think it was probably because of how much squeezing was going on in my hips that my legs were totally numb, and I couldn't move. So I was, like, trying to, like, get into a position to, like, get off of my bum basically so that I can, like, get the, you know, let the placenta come out. But I just couldn't. Like, I could just couldn't my legs were not working. So we had my aunt, on the phone and she was like, well, why don't you get carried over to the toilet, and that'll be a better position for it to come out. So they, like, got me out of the pool, like, carried me over, and then, and then sure enough, the placenta came out on the toilet.
Speaker 1
And was that, like, dramatic, or was that handled pretty mellow, the carrying you over and dealing with the numb legs?
Speaker 3
It was fine. Like yeah. No. I I mean, I was like, oh, like, my legs don't work right now. Like, I'll need help to get out. Like, it wasn't a big deal at all. And, like, I just I knew, like, I had been squatting for twenty hours. My husband was squeezing my hips. There's probably lots of inflammation going on in there. You know what I mean? So it wasn't like we were just like, okay. I can't use my legs, so keep it longer.
Speaker 1
Were your hips totally bruised from all that pressure?
Speaker 3
I mean, internally, they must have been. I didn't have any, like, black and blue on it, but yeah.
Speaker 1
That's surprising.
Speaker 3
But, no. Definitely, they had to have been. Because actually, like, my right leg was dead for a couple of months. Like, it didn't come back. Woah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1
It must have been some nerve damage.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I mean, not like permanent damage, but yeah. Like, it must have been yeah. It must have been some kind of, like, maybe a herniated disc or something or I don't know. But, you know, my husband's a chiropractor, so I just, you know, got adjusted and all was well.
Speaker 1
So placenta's out in the toilet and then and then you go cozy up in bed?
Speaker 3
Yeah. So I, like, I showered, got cleaned up, went back in bed. My husband adjusted me, adjusted the baby. She she took a little while like, I was expecting her to just, like, latch on right away, but she didn't want to and, like, that's fine. Like, we just let her do whatever she wanted and eventually she did, you know.
Speaker 1
How long did it take? Do you remember?
Speaker 3
You know what? I don't remember, but I feel like a couple of hours. I'm not quite sure. But I just remember it being longer than I, like, had pictured in my mind, you know. But so we, you know, we cut the cord when it had stopped pulsating, and we just snuggled up and yeah.
Speaker 2
How'd you feel after all of that?
Speaker 3
I felt great. Like, I couldn't believe what had just happened.
Speaker 1
Mhmm. You know,
Speaker 3
you just can't it's your first. You don't know what to expect and so it happens and then but then I also felt like like I just did it. Like, you just feel amazing after.
Speaker 1
Good.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 1
And so then how does that change you? Like, who do you become from from that from this first free birth? How has it like, how did it shift you over the next year? Did you notice was it, like, you're already just totally in keeping with who you were, or did you notice some, like, new layer of you was born with it?
Speaker 3
I think not really. I think I was just, like, like, it just was normal. Like, it wasn't a big deal, you know, like and I I felt like I felt like good. I was like, you did it. Like, I felt proud of myself and but it wasn't like anything like, it just felt just normal. Like, I was like, that was what was supposed to happen, that's what did happen, and I love it, you know.
Speaker 1
So then take me to your next pregnancy.
Speaker 3
So then I got pregnant, and I
Speaker 1
How many years later?
Speaker 3
So my daughter was probably, like, they're exactly two years apart two years and three months apart, so whatever. She was, like, maybe fourteen months old when I got pregnant, sixteen months old, something like that. So I got pregnant and I mean, uneventful pregnancy, normal, everything. I did wanna find out the sex because I really wanted I don't know why I wanted a girl so badly. I wanted two girls, but I had a feeling. It was a like, I just had a gut feeling it was a boy. So I was like, I really wanna do the blood test to find out. So we did, and of course, it was a boy.
Speaker 1
And so I, you know, I cried and I was
Speaker 3
like, it's a boy, and and then I got over it. Obviously, I was like, it's gonna be great. But, I was just really curious and I wanted to find out, so we did do that.
Speaker 1
And so did you otherwise have a totally wild pregnancy?
Speaker 3
Yeah. Totally for both.
Speaker 1
That's awesome.
Speaker 3
We had bought a fetoscope and, like, had no idea how to use it, but, like, we're, like, we're trying to use it. Sure. And, like, every time we thought we could hear the heartbeat, it was just my heartbeat. So it I mean,
Speaker 1
like The baby's heart rate is really slow.
Speaker 3
So, like, we did have that, but, like, it never worked and we whatever. So no. Yeah. We had a totally free pregnancy, or wild pregnancy, and we didn't do anything.
Speaker 1
And did you have the language? Like, did you call this a free birth with your daughter?
Speaker 3
No. I'm glad you said that because I I didn't hear about free birth or know that term until I came across your podcast, to be honest with you.
Speaker 2
Funny.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I like, at the time, I was calling it an like, we're having an unassisted home birth because there was gonna be, you know, no medical professional there. So, and the same with my son too. Like, it was an unassisted home birth. It wasn't a free birth. Like, I just kind of more recently
Speaker 1
Well, they're the same thing.
Speaker 3
Right. No. I know. But I I had never heard that.
Speaker 1
Right. So then, were you, like, when you heard the term, were you, like, oh, that's wait. That's that's what I did.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally.
Speaker 1
That's awesome.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And it it's it's unpacked, like, layers too that I, like, never even was because here's the cool thing about birth is, like, whether you know everything about birth or whether you know nothing about birth, like, you're gonna give birth to your baby. Like, that's how people who have babies on the side of the road, like, when they're on their way to the hospital, like, those people didn't know everything about birth, like, it was an accident. But, like, that's what's so cool. It's like it's gonna happen whether you know all the steps or not.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Birth happens. It's like it's like poop.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Exactly. Like, you don't yeah. So that's kind of like I didn't know everything. I didn't know all the terminology. I didn't know all the stages of birth. I just knew that it was normal and that my innate intelligence was gonna take care of everything.
Speaker 1
Tell you. God. And that is enough. I mean, because so many people that I that I work with or have worked with or talked to, they are on the other end of the spectrum where they're trying to learn quote unquote everything, but Yeah. Not trust their innate intelligence, their instinct.
Speaker 3
Right. Right.
Speaker 1
Like, well, I don't know if you can, like, think yourself into a into an a physiological birth, you know.
Speaker 3
Right. Exactly. Like, it's almost like the the least amount of stuff that you know is, like, actually the better.
Speaker 1
Often. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you get pregnant with your second. You find out it's a boy. You have a wild pregnancy. It's pretty uneventful, you said?
Speaker 3
Yep. And, everyone was telling me I was gonna go early, like, like, as if they know. Or free now? I was I was due, like, right around, like, a week before Christmas or something like that. So everyone's like, oh, you're gonna have an early December baby and blah blah blah. And so late, the days go by and the weeks go by and Christmas goes by and you hope you're not here. And, you know, I had bought all kinds of, like, Christmas pajamas to, like, match with my daughter and, like,
Speaker 1
it
Speaker 3
was gonna be the best Christmas with a newborn and, of course, you know, that didn't happen. So I went to forty two weeks, and I am a very firm believer that you don't, even in natural ways, try and induce your labor. Like Yeah. Don't eat the spicy foods because you wanna like, if you wanna eat spicy because you love spicy, then go for it. But, like, don't try and, like, do all the things to, like, induce your labor. Like, I'm just really, like, no. It's just gonna happen when it happens. So I'm at forty
Speaker 1
two It's it's really stressful energy to start your labor with.
Speaker 3
Right. Exactly. So I'm at forty two weeks, and I was having a conversation with one of my friends on the phone, and she's like, well, why don't you go get acupuncture done? And I'm like, no. Like, I don't want to, like, induce labor in any way. She's like, well, you get adjusted. She's like, you're just, like, supporting your body with, like, something healthy. And so that sounded pretty good to me. So I was like, you're right. And so I did go in. And to this day, I still don't know, like, did I interfere with my, you know, the start of my labor? Like, should I have done that? I don't know. But, anyways, I I went in at forty two weeks. I had the acupuncture done, and thirty minutes after leaving the office, my water broke. So, I mean, it it definitely worked.
Speaker 1
Well and let me just insert really it's a couple of things really quick.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So
Speaker 1
where's the line between supporting and interfering? You know, the the umbrella, like, truth is that you're living in your body and everything you does affects everything you do. Right? So
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 1
You're walking, you're eating, you're sleeping, you're acupuncture, you're chiro, you know, you know, whatever. All of that is just you living in your body and doing the things that, you feel are supportive. Right? And we already know acupuncture is, you know, it's about opening up your meridians to bring you into balance. Right? And to support, like, your friend said, to support your wellness. And so Yeah. I I can't think of any, any downside to that. But the other piece I wanna just throw in here is women around the world, whatever we do right before our labor starts, we think that's what induced it. Yeah. You know? So I had sex, you know, and three hours later my labor started. So my story could be, oh, sex started my labor. You know, you could eat spicy a spicy meal and then your labor starts. So, retroactively, you know, we can say, oh, the thing I did right before my waters opened must have been the thing, when really it was everything. Right? And so, you know, there is no there is no, like, provenance. Right? There is no, like, meant to happen or it would have happened. Like, maybe your waters would have not opened thirty minutes after acupuncture if you hadn't have got acupuncture, and they would have opened six hours later. But Right. It's totally irrelevant. Right? Because you were doing things that were self care. And and then it's kind of, like, funny because you had this whole thing in your head, and then your waters really did open. But but I would say that that was just supporting your wellness, supporting what was already planning, you know, what was already, like, getting ready to happen in your body. You're forty two weeks, like, you were about to go into labor at any point.
Speaker 3
Right. Right. Right. So we leave the, acupuncturist office, and we stop at Whole Foods on the way home till I grab some pineapple and coconut water and, you know, whatever, some stuff for the birth. And and then so I we're walking into Whole Foods, and I'm like, okay. I better go pee before we shop. So I go to the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and it's like and it, like, broke on the toilet. I'm like, I'm like, oh, thank god it wasn't, like, down the aisle or something along the lunch aisle. Like, that's all I never wanted. Like, I don't want my water to break, like, in public somewhere and, like, make a big mess everywhere. So anyways, so I, like, put a bunch of, you know, toilet paper in my pants. I was like I walk out. I'm like, okay. So my water just broke, so let's get a few things and go home. So we grabbed a few things, we go home. But I didn't have any, like, birth sensations or anything like that yet. We go home and, like, his whole family it was Christmas time. Right? So they had all, like, come down for Christmas. So and slash the birth. And so they were all there, like, having dinner. So it was like my mom, my brother, his two sisters, their two husbands, his mom and dad. And so we, like, go have dinner, and I'm like, okay. So I think it's gonna happen, so you guys need to leave now. So everybody left except for my mom and my brother were staying with us at our house. And, and this was, I guess, around five thirty or so. And so around eight o'clock, I was like, okay. Well, let's just go for a walk around the neighborhood. So we go outside, go for, like, a twenty, thirty minute walk, and then all of a sudden, the sensation started happening. And again, they were, like, hot and heavy right out of the door. So I was like, alright. We better go back. And so we went back, went right up to our room, just, like, got in the zone. I, you know, did the same thing. Like, I just I took some showers. There was a little bit of hip squeezing, but not like the first time, like, not even close. And my husband was like, do you want me to put some music on? He's like, I can put your brother's piano playing because my brother's a pianist. So I was like, oh, that's a really good idea. So he did and it was amazing, like, I had never even I had never even thought about putting on music, like, I just was so in my head, in his zone that, like, I didn't need music or I didn't need, like, anything on. But he suggested, and I was like, okay. And it was beautiful, and I'm so glad that he put that on. And, he could tell, like, that things were progressing, but he was, like, ready to be up all night again. Like, he was just ready for it. You know? And so he's like, do you want me to, you know, fill up the pool? And I was like, yep. So we did it. I got in. And, like, shortly after like, again, timeline, I have no idea. But from start from from birth sensation to baby was five hours. Damn. So yeah. So,
Speaker 1
Gotta love those second babies.
Speaker 3
Oh, I know. It was so it felt amazing. So I'm, like, in the pool, and I'm, like, it's kinda starting to push, and I'm, like, oh, I feel the head. And Greg's, like, what? He's, like, no. Like, I was ready to be up all night. Like, he's, like, this can't be possible. And, like, and so, like, two pushes and he was out.
Speaker 1
Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 3
Yeah. It happened so fast and he was a big boy. He was nine pounds, two ounces, and he came out and he latched on right away. And, it was it was oh, and get this part. Oh my gosh. This is you're not gonna believe this. So, a year before so a couple months before I found out I was pregnant, my grandmother passed away on, December thirty first, and she was, like, my person. You know? She was my best friend, my you know? My son was born on December thirty first at the exact same minute that she passed away.
Speaker 1
Woah. A year later?
Speaker 3
One year later, like, to the minute.
Speaker 1
That's so sweet.
Speaker 3
It was unbelievable.
Speaker 1
How soon after he was born did you realize that?
Speaker 3
Very soon. Because it was I mean, we were all aware, like, it's her one year anniversary of her death. So, like, we, like, looked at the time when we were, like, I think it's, like, the exact same time, and then we, like, confirmed that it was, and it was
Speaker 1
That's magic.
Speaker 3
I mean, it it really was magic. It was such a sign from her that she was, like, all over it, you know, and she was like, I am there. And it was yeah. It was powerful.
Speaker 1
That is so powerful. That's so sweet. Anything else about that birth? The placenta, anything?
Speaker 3
So no. I mean, the placenta came out pretty quickly after two, and there there was a little bit more blood this time around than the first time. So I I remember feeling, like, a little bit light headed and weak. Like, so I needed, you know, a little bit of assistance, like, you know, showering and getting cleaned up and stuff.
Speaker 1
But no dead leg?
Speaker 3
No dead leg this time, which is great. And, so we got into bed, you know, cut the cord, and again, we got all got adjusted and just, like, went to bed, like because it was, like, one o'clock in the morning, so it was, like, perfect. Let's just That's awesome.
Speaker 1
And so was your daughter present for any of this?
Speaker 3
No. She was sleeping.
Speaker 1
Okay.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So because it was from eight PM to one AM. So she was So
Speaker 1
she woke up to a baby brother.
Speaker 3
He woke up to a baby brother. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Aw. Yeah. That's beautiful. I love it. You know, this is what this podcast is about is just, like, remembering and sharing how simple this is.
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 1
You know, it's like, okay. You got pregnant, and then you had a baby. Right. And then you got pregnant again and then you had another baby. Yeah. It's so it's so perfect.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 1
And so how has this, you know, I guess to wrap up, I'd love to to just touch on how this has inspired, you know, who you wanna be in the world or who you are in the world.
Speaker 3
I really just wanna, like, help communicate to people, like, how normal, like, don't complicate it. Don't fear, like, you don't have to fear. It's nothing that you need to be scared of. You know, it's so normal for people to be scared of the unknown. Like, it's, like, natural to just, like, that's what you deflect to, but it's, like, you don't have to, you know, just because it's something you haven't experienced before, just because you're not familiar with it. Like, you know, so I definitely wanna, you know, help normalize it for sure. Yeah. Well, this story will go far
Speaker 1
and wide and and assist in that. Anything else anything else you wanna say or share before we close?
Speaker 3
No. Just thank you so much for the work that you're doing and having me on. It's been great.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Thank you. Your story is amazing. You're an inspiring woman.
Speaker 3
Thank you.
Speaker 2
That's it for today, everyone. Join us next week for another episode of the Free Birth Podcast. Thanks for joining us, and remember, your body, your choice. Lots of love.
