Speaker 0
Welcome to the Free Birth Podcast, a supportive space for people who are learning, exploring, and celebrating their autonomous choices in childbirth. Together, we'll unpack truths, share personal stories, and claim our ability to birth freely and intuitively. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya. Do you know it's your calling to become an authentic midwife? Do you dream of attending women in birth? Have you felt frustrated trying to be a birth worker in the system? Are you looking for a better way to walk with women in total integrity, supporting mother led physiological birth? Are you dreaming of building a thriving, profitable business as a birth coach? Well, we are thrilled to announce that enrollment for our radical birth keeper school is now open. Classes begin June first, so head over to our website and get the details. The time is now, and we need you to join us in this birth revolution. W w w dot radical birth keeper school dot com.
Speaker 1
Hi, I'm Nancy Lucina, a mother of three, a doula, shamanic facilitator, sound healer, and women's coach. And I'm so excited to announce the launch of my latest course with Free Birth Society, Conscious Conception, Welcoming Your Spirit Baby Home. I created this course because I know that conception is not just a physical process, but also a deeply emotional and spiritual one. The children coming to earth now are so wise and they're asking a lot of us as their mothers to be. That we really purify our minds, bodies, and souls so that we can hold their highest light throughout pregnancy birth and motherhood. And this is not an easy process. In fact, it's one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'm here to guide you through your own epic journey of welcoming your spirit baby home. If you're on the journey of conception and you wanna make that journey conscious connected and spiritually rich then this course is for you. Go to free birth society courses dot com to learn more.
Speaker 2
We are celebrating two incredible things
Speaker 0
with this week's episode, Nancy's recent free birth and the launch of her latest course with Free Birth Society, welcoming your spirit baby home. We get into both of
Speaker 2
these incredible topics in our discussion today. So if conscious conception and spirit babies is new to you, be sure to
Speaker 0
tune in. Nancy shares about what turned out to be a forty five minute birth with the baby born in his call.
Speaker 2
Alright. Well, let's just frame this episode with we have a very finite window of construction that we're avoiding. So if you hear any construction in the background, please forgive us in advance, and we're gonna do our best. Hi, Nancy. Hi. You're a mom again.
Speaker 3
I am. Mom of three. I can't believe it.
Speaker 2
Wow. Me either. So we're here today to kinda weave together three different beautiful, stories or angles. We are here with Nancy because she just rebirthed her third beautiful child, and she also just completed and we are actually celebrating in this conversation the, the offering of Freebird Society's recent course which is Nancy's newest creation, Conscious Conception, Welcoming Your Spirit Baby Home. And so, this is, gonna be a conversation today exploring what is conscious conception
Speaker 0
or not? What are spirit babies?
Speaker 2
And how does that kind of, weave into our lives and to Nancy's personal story? And we'll talk a little bit about the course, but really we're here today to to just kinda start beginning to open up this topic and using Nancy's, personal life and her her beautiful stories and her creations, both of her children and of of all of her, wisdom to kinda unpack this topic today as I know that it's, not an not a talked about topic enough and yet, most women we know, I think, have a little, like, tingle in their in their bodies about it. Like, I think a lot of women are drawn to it and curious about it, but, there isn't a lot of content out there to, you know, digest and and learn about. So, I'm particularly excited about this course coming out, which, we'll talk about more late later, but is just such a beautiful guide and offering, for the women who are interested. So welcome.
Speaker 3
Thank you. Thank you.
Speaker 0
How are you doing?
Speaker 3
Good. I'm in my second week postpartum, so I'm a little bit in that postpartum bubble and little haze, feeling. But in general, doing really, really well. My twelve year old is with my my son now, so hopefully, he'll be good for another hour. Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. I'm good.
Speaker 2
So where do you wanna start? Do you do you wanna start with contextualizing this with your second born and and that conscious conception story? Or should we just kinda start with the brass tacks of, like, what is this? If this is a brand new idea for anybody.
Speaker 3
So, yeah. I think we can start with conscious conception. What is that? I mean, it's pretty pretty much what it says consciously conceiving. So being intentional about calling in your child, arriving to that point of, you know, making love with some kind of intention. A lot of the times, it can be kind of a ceremonial experience for people. It it means different things for different women. Some women want to prepare their bodies physically and do certain cleanses before. Others wanna connect in a real spiritual way to their baby, which kinda brings us to the next next topic, what is spirit babies. And for me, spirit babies just babies babies in their spirit form. My husband was asking me that this morning, like, well, wait. So is this is is every baby before they come in a spirit baby? And I'm like, yeah. I think so. I think it's just a baby in its spirit form. And I think as we evolve on this planet, we continually open ourselves up more and more to receive information from those spiritual realms. And so I I feel like more and more women are beginning to say things like, I'm actually sensing the spirit of my baby. I'm sensing what his or her name might be, or I'm getting, like, these memories of maybe even past lives we've had together, whatever that looks like. And so
Speaker 2
Or even Yeah. For even, like, future visions, like, a lot of the my son who hasn't come yet, when I feel him the most, he's not a baby. He's, like, older. He's, like, I don't know, maybe nine, ten, eleven, or something. And so I just I like the idea of, like, a spirit baby, obviously, because the soul will come in as a baby first, because that's how Right. The physical realm works, but it's really just spirit. It's really just these souls or spirit and whatever in whatever, learning how to listen and play with that.
Speaker 3
Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Future future, visions also very common. It's true. And, you know, for me, my first conscious conception was with my second son who's only a year and a half, and I talked a little bit about our journey on our previous podcast that I recorded around his birth, which is called Screaming to the Goddess. So that goes into detail about his his journey if we don't have time to get into it today. But, basically, I felt him communicating with me for years since the day I met my husband. Uh-huh. Empathically, he told me I will never have kids, just so you know. And he was dead dead set on that. And I was like, that's odd because Right. Right. I you know, when I look back on that period of my life, my son's name is Elijah. I literally feel that Elijah was guiding me from afar, above, whatever however you wanna put it, to meet my husband so that we could eventually conceive him and start our family together. But because I remember these really specific moments of literally hearing a voice in my head, and it was just so crystal clear. And as soon as I met Brandon, my husband, it was like, this is your spiritual partner and the father of your next child. Boom. And I'm like, Okay. How's this gonna go down? So it's from that moment that Elijah began to communicate with me, and it wasn't until five years later that I actually conceived him.
Speaker 2
Wow. You
Speaker 3
know? And that journey was long, and it's not like we were trying to conceive that entire time. It was a whole process to open up that portal eventually. And, yeah, the process in some ways was hard, and conscious conception triggered a lot of my buttons around control. Mhmm. You know, how much can I let go? How much can I surrender? How much can I get out of the way? How much can I trust what I'm receiving? And so that was one of the big motivators to, to making this course is because I know that that road can feel a little bit lonely. And to have that emotional and spiritual support is really, really helpful, I think.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And and I wanna point out here that that piece around that you can connect with your spirit babies for so many years before they take physical form and or ever take physical form. And another way of framing it is, you know, your spiritual guides, or just playing with with whatever that connection is really because we I saw something in our network the other day that someone said, I've been really feeling my spirit baby so I guess that means like I have to get pregnant now. And I was like, that's not what that means at all. Like, I don't know what it means, but I felt my children in spirit form since I was a little girl. And I used that as a guide to make my life be the best life it could be so that it would be easeful for them. You know, like, I used it as a motivator for, you know, I left bad relationships because of dreams of my spirit babies.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Exactly. They're incredible beings of light that come to purify us Mhmm. On all levels. And I think that's that's also something I really wanna communicate today is these souls are god. I mean, these souls that are wanting to come to Earth now, they're they are warriors of light, I think. And the more we can really open ourselves up and and treat them with that reverence so that we and do that work so that we really purify just the great the greater their opportunities are gonna be because they're gonna come in and not have to do a bunch of crazy shadow work because we've already done a lot. Of course, there's still gonna be more to do, I guess, for a while. I don't know. I'm assuming. But, you know, we we it's our That's a continuum. Yeah. Duty. Totally. This is a continuum. But I really feel like it's our duty to do that. And and that piece also, I think, can feel pretty alarming for some people who are trying to conceive. I know that, gosh, this baby, we'll get into in a little bit, that I just had was a massive purifier. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Speaker 2
Yeah. So let let's just kinda review again real quick. If you're new to this, conscious conception is just the process of, of awareness around conceiving and like Nancy said, that is a super individualized process that can look different for everyone. It could be very ritualistic. It could be more nutrition based. It could be all of it. But I really do think the kind of, the work around it, like Nancy pointed to, is contending consciously with the spirit realm and with the process of opening our bodies as women and mothers, to house a new soul, and understanding that that's a co creation. So, we're not in charge of the timing, that all we can do is create our container, you know, and spirit to be open and available, with as much, you know, consciousness and and love and light and health and everything as as we are up for. And and that's what I think most women I've talked to who have experienced a conscious conception journey is is it's different to my mind than trying air quotes for a baby. It feels it feels I'll just speak for myself. It feels deeper than that because it's actually opening up to the co creative experience, you know, where all we can do is be open and all we can do ultimately is receive, and in what timing we don't know. And it's such a beautiful way to lay a foundation down for, the work of pregnancy, the work of motherhood, the work of birth, stepping into the unknown and and in a co creative, allyship. Anyway, so I just kind of want to recap that with with that language, and then we are gonna get into, what about unconscious conception? Because that's just as great. This isn't this isn't a better, worse, you know, anything like that at all. There's just different ways to do this. But I will say, I just think there's something so deeply romantic about consciously conceiving a baby. It's just such a romantic idea, because of the awareness that it requires and the work that it supports, but that's not to say that, if you didn't consciously conceive your child and you're pregnant today, that there aren't, tons of beautiful, fun ways to meet your spirit baby, the baby that's inside you taking physical form, and and of course, that's so much of what Nancy walks you through with the course. So, it's you haven't missed the boat to, to get aware and tuned in with with this precious spirit who is coming through you, if if the pregnancy was a surprise or anything like that.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I love the way you put that with the cocreation. I emphasize that a lot in the course. And to be honest, that's the course kinda came through in that way where what I realized was that I throughout this course, I'm just simply guiding you to just peel back all those layers so that you can surrender more and more and more into that cocreative process and and surrender to that divine timing and all that comes with that.
Speaker 2
Beautiful. So tell us a little bit about about the birth of this course and and why you wanted to do it and how it intertwined with, what I believe to be a bit of a surprise spirit coming to you.
Speaker 3
Right. Okay. So let's just rewind a tiny bit to when Elijah, my second born, was around three months old. And, you know, my daughter and my husband were both like, okay. When's the next one coming? When's the next one coming?
Speaker 4
And I'm
Speaker 3
like, let me have a little bit of a breath here, guys. I'm three months postpartum. But the point of that is I think we all felt it. There was another being who wanted to come in, and and everybody was aware of it, not just me, but the whole family. And so and I got I got my my moon back. My menstrual cycle came back very well, for me, it felt very early at six months, postpartum. I was like, what? What? Because with my first, it came back a year and a half later, and I was still fully breastfeeding, you know? So I was just kind of shocked, and I guess I took that a little bit of a as a sign of, like, okay. This one might be coming sooner than you think. And I had some kind of warnings from spirit realm as well. And, this woman who many of you might know, her name is Sunny Karl. She wrote the book Sacred Birthing. She also wrote a book, about conceiving, conceiving souls of magnificence, I think it's called. She, lived briefly in my town, and, she told me around my birthday. I had a little gathering, and she came, and she told me, be careful because, you know, this baby is really close.
Speaker 4
And I
Speaker 3
was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know? I I know, but not yet. Not yet. Not yet. My husband and I were embarking on a house building project. There was a lot going on, and not to mention just having a tiny tiny little baby still, you know. Who doesn't say? Yeah. Pretty much still. Yeah. But I I did end up conceiving at around nine and a half, months postpartum. And we you and I had talked about, the spirit babies course, you know, and I was kinda playing with the idea of creating it at some point. And, yeah, they happen to coincide, the conception and the sort of conception of the course as well, I guess you could say. And so it was it it was kind of peculiar to me because I I would call my I would call this one, like, a half conscious conception because, I did feel the spirit, and and we all did, you know, and we were all aware. And when we all were saying yes, just not quite yet. Yes, just not quite yet. And so this was my own, lesson, and I have lessons in this before when I was conceiving my my son as well, Elijah. But with this baby, it was another layer of trusting the divine timing. And, wow, it really worked me to the core. But, yeah, I started I started to work on the production of this course basically in my second month of pregnancy. And so it was interesting that that the pregnancy unfolded as the course unfolded too, and so did my house, being built.
Speaker 4
So it
Speaker 3
was I I actually felt like I was giving birth to triplets, you know? Like, it was really intense. It required a lot of me and, and so many layers of surrender. And and definitely, I had a lot of resistance, especially to the house building project happening at the same time. And I was, like, I I wanna be in my bathtub to give birth, and I just had to continually let go. Like, have my intention, but then let go. You know? And I talk about that a lot in the course too. It's like, how how can we manifest from that deeply feminine place? I think it's about setting that intention and putting it out there almost as a prayer Mhmm. But then just letting it go because forcefully trying to hold on creates a lot of, tension, I think, and resistance in our bodies.
Speaker 2
Another way of putting it would be, like, create the intention or the prayer and then open up to it. You know, open up to how it's gonna look because it's not gonna look the way we think it's gonna look. And and the more open and and letting go and just the more kind of fluid and curious and open we can be about it, the way it, yeah, the way it comes back is just so like, that's the fun to me. That's like the whole game, you know? And that really I love the term co creative because if you are in awareness that you are, really co creating your reality, your day, your babies, your timing, your house, your flow, then it actually can feel like this game of, like, how is the universe gonna show up for me today? You know, and just, like, there's just can be so much playfulness about it. Yeah. I'd love for you to speak a little bit more about just the work of this pregnancy because, you know, as your friend, it seemed like this pregnancy really worked you. It really freaking worked you. And and I I love that so much because, you know, I think it kind of highlights, or or what's the right word? It kind of shuts down this notion that, like, things just get easier, like, the more experienced of a mom you are, you know? And and and I just and maybe in some ways, of course, I'm sure that can feel true. But, you know, from from the outside, I just see you as really down for the work, and really honest about it, and really open to it. And and this baby pregnancy timing, you know, all of it really did seem rich with work and and new layers of, yeah, just kind of parts of yourself and and yeah. I'd love to just hear kind of more about how you now being two weeks out could contextualize, like, how it
Speaker 3
worked you. Yeah. You know, it's so funny now that I'm on the other side of it. It's like, oh, that was fine. Oh, that was nothing to worry about. But my god, you know, it it was, at times, I felt that there was things to worry about. And, god, so many things happened in this pregnancy. I was like, I don't even know if I can remember them all. But to start with, well, to start with, it was quite interesting because I found out I was pregnant with this baby in exactly the same town in Sweden, which is like a village, a tiny town, that I found out I was pregnant with my first child who's now twelve years old. Wait. What did you mean? Because
Speaker 2
You were you were in that village in Sweden?
Speaker 3
Yes. We traveled to Sweden. My so my ex husband is Swedish, the father of my first child, and my daughter always goes to Sweden in the summer. This time we went with her, and I found out I was pregnant there in the same exact time of year. I mean, maybe even to the date, you know, like beginning of August in this tiny town. And so immediately, I felt that it was a cycle of healing taking place. Something was going on that I didn't fully understand and frankly still don't. But, but something got completed or something was being healed. I don't know. But it was it was quite peculiar and so and a little bit shocking, although not shocking because we had all felt the baby. We had felt these sort of warnings and, you know, yeah. The baby was there now. So one of the ways in which I got worked, the many ways, is when we returned home from Sweden, we all got very sick with some kind of weird stomach thing. And then I started to bleed, and this was around two and a half months pregnant maybe. And I thought for sure I was having a miscarriage because it was pretty, like, a good amount of blood. It wasn't just a little spotting. And I've never had a miscarriage, and so I was like, okay. Well, here's initiate an initiation into something something else, something new, and I'm just gonna accept this. You know? I kinda made peace with it. And then, no, it wasn't a miscarriage. So there was this whole weird scare, you know.
Speaker 2
So how did you know sorry. This is a stupid question. But how did you know it wasn't a miscarriage?
Speaker 3
Well, I basically just waited, and I contacted my friend who's a retired midwife who I go see. She's an amazing, just, like, witchy woman, and she gives me flower essences, and we talk about my emotions, and she lets me borrow her fetoscope, you know? And she she was she was the one who said, I don't actually think this is a miscarriage. You know, I would just wait it out, and and I think it's one of those moments of, like, you guys as a family can say, okay. We're we're really welcoming you here, baby. You know? So it's like a yeah. I don't know how she worded it, but, but it was quite beautiful. And so I just sat with that, and and then the day passed. And I I think I also wrote in our membership, you know, and some women were like, well, it doesn't necessarily have to mean that. So just wait and see. Right? And I was in communication with you a little bit too, and, yeah, you're like, it's just a wait and see thing. So eventually, I just it passed, and it was only, like, a day of of bleeding or maybe maybe two max. But that was a weird little scare. And then we got we got kicked out of our house, which we were in temporarily until our other one was finished being building, the one we're currently in now. But it was a surprise because basically they needed to turn our house into an office space. And so it was like, oh my god, I'm gonna move twice in this pregnancy, you know?
Speaker 2
Oh god. I remember that
Speaker 3
now. Yeah. And so there was just so much resistance in my being to the flow of life because it felt hectic and just not what I wanted, you know? And so I think those were the layers that had to continually peel back. It's like, okay, just go with it. And what I've learned throughout this process, time and time again, is that it's it always was so much worse in my head than when the moment actually came, you know, to moving. Like, yeah, moving sucks. It just does. But I mean, that's pretty much
Speaker 4
always. Right? I know.
Speaker 3
So, yeah, it's just like, okay. Can you let go of the stories around it? And can you just be in the present moment? Because, actually, you got through it, and then it was done. You know?
Speaker 4
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
So we moved to this funny house, and, my friend called it the retro house because we moved in Mercury retrograde, and, like, everything everything was going wrong, and the the water was having issues, and the this and the that, and there was this funky sink that was in, like, a corner. And so when you washed dishes and as the belly grew, you had to sort of lean over in this incredibly awkward way. And it was just funny and funky on a lot of levels, you know. And again and and again, I had to just let go, and I was very attached to having a bath. And it didn't have a bath, and I had this, like, vinyl bathtub that I was using. And, you know, I had to make peace with that. I might be giving birth in that house because my construction our construction was lagging a little bit. I mean, it's just how construction goes, I think, honestly. And I just I was already having contractions at, like, thirty five weeks that I felt were pretty strong. So I thought, god. There's no way. I know it's hilarious because we'll we'll get to that later, but I end up going much further over my date. And, you know, but it it was like, okay. I I have to make peace with that. This might happen. And then all the while, I'm creating this course, which was actually a beautiful beautiful process in the whole in the whole journey, but it it was just a lot, you know, birthing all these things at once and a lot of crazy stuff.
Speaker 2
And had a year and a half year old.
Speaker 3
Oh, god. Yeah. Well, okay. I wanna mention him, actually. That was a big part of my journey too because my milk dried up around a month four of pregnancy. And I just was sure that wasn't gonna happen to me. You know? Even though, like, everybody else I talked to was like, yeah. It pretty much dried up. And I was like, like, that's not happening to me because I'm very committed to nursing him still and this and that. And, yeah, it was it was gone pretty much. And, and I had pretty bad nursing aversion at some point, which I also was sure would have happened to me.
Speaker 2
You got the smack down.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And I had to grieve that. I had a lot of grief come up. And, honestly, I wanna be really authentic and transparent here. I actually felt anger toward this baby for taking me away from Elijah. I I really I had to work with that a lot. And I I felt that this baby the entire time was a girl. That was another funny thing because it's not. He's a boy. I mean, I was so sure. You know? Because those were we we all had we received a name, and I had felt this super strong connection to Venus the whole pregnancy, and I felt all these different things, which
Speaker 2
You didn't know that really it was penis. Badoomch.
Speaker 3
Exactly. And not to say that it this wasn't that baby. That's what is so Right. Curious with this whole thing. And I do talk about a lot that a lot in this course is, like, a lot of people get that they're communicating with one sex or gender, however you wanna put it, and then it ends up being a different different one when they come out. And it could
Speaker 2
be It's just our, like, small mindedness of trying to compartmentalize these, like, epically divine spirits into a body, you know, into the physical.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Exactly. But I did feel that I was working a lot with the dark feminine in this pregnancy.
Speaker 2
We need sorry. We need we need to share shirts that say, don't gender my spirit baby. They were. That shirt probably exists.
Speaker 3
Okay. But working with
Speaker 2
the dark feminine, which really was just like you and your connection to life. Right?
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 4
Like, you
Speaker 2
had to go into your own darkness.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Totally. And but I was like being slayed, you know? And and and anyway, I was being transparent about that. I was having anger actually come up toward this baby, and that was so hard for me. So I'm like, how can I be mad at a freaking, like, baby? This doesn't make any sense, you know? But, of course, this baby is just this pure being and a total mirror for me to see myself. You know? And, of course, we know that that happens all the time when we're parenting, but it also happens when we're gestating, I think. And so that was that was what was going on for me, and I had to work through that grief around, needing to stop nursing Elijah. I mean, he was still kinda dry nurse, and now he's nursing again. So it all, you know, it's all good and it all worked out. But, there were a lot of different things I needed to process around that.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And it totally extends beyond just children. Right? I mean, everything in our lives are reflecting, the work that we need to do, whether
Speaker 3
it's our
Speaker 2
partners or trolls on Instagram. I mean, it really doesn't matter. It's like everything is actually a mirror back to ourselves and how we orient, around our connection to the universe.
Speaker 3
Absolutely. For sure.
Speaker 2
And I mean, it's so understandable that, of course, it wasn't actually about the baby, but it was about how your life was going to change, and feeling, I imagine, I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but I imagine feeling like you weren't done with Elijah being the baby.
Speaker 3
Yeah. For sure. And my husband intense. Yeah. It was intense and my husband went through it too. He's like, I'm not ready for him to not be the only one, you know. Like, I know. So but, again, we just had to keep coming back to trust and and keep coming back to life is always more expansive in the future than we could ever imagine. And having and looking back on my life, things that didn't make sense in the moment, now looking back on them, of course, make perfect sense. And I see that it was divine timing, You know? And so I was kind of leaning in on that a lot. And I would say that I did hold hold up those pillars of trust and faith throughout the process and so did my partner even even when we felt like this is crazy, you know, and what are we doing? And everybody was like, you're insane. Why are you having two kids and building a house at the same time? Like, that's ridiculous. You know?
Speaker 2
And you're like, I don't know.
Speaker 4
And people were rude. People were rude to
Speaker 3
me, like, in the beginning of the pregnancy. Oh my god. Or like, do you don't you have better things to do? I'm gonna get you guys a a TV so that you can do other things aside from make babies and
Speaker 2
Those really sound like people you should
Speaker 4
be close
Speaker 2
in your life. Those sound like really quality people. Okay. So I wanna go I wanna go a little bit into the course and then go into your actual birth story.
Speaker 3
We have so much to cover.
Speaker 2
I know. So because we're on a timeline with your
Speaker 3
construction starting up again,
Speaker 2
I'd love for you just to at this point, and obviously, you know, we'll put, you know, the the website where people can go check out more and, you can find everything, I'll just say it now, at free birth society courses dot com, and it's called Conscious Conception, Welcoming Your Spirit Baby Home, so people can go there, but just because we're on the topic, I would love for you to give a little bit of an overview of what this course is, who wants to buy it, you know, who is it for, why would someone, you know, need it in their lives right now, and then we'll kind of use that and shift it into, into the end of your pregnancy when you thought you were in labor for a month and then had a five second birth.
Speaker 3
Exactly. Okay. Yeah. So I just wanna start out by saying, I feel that there's a lot of stuff out there online around conception, and I I think it's more kind of like what you're saying at the beginning about, quote, trying to have a baby and more this kind of baby as a product and maybe what you need to do to your body and and this and that. And this course is not that. It's something totally different. I didn't know exactly what it was gonna be when I started making it even though I knew the themes of it. And what it ended up being is this journey to really, as you and I have talked about, to become your most aligned self, to become the best version of you so that you can really show up for your baby in this way. And so it it covers a variety of things, but the way it ended up manifesting itself was, it's a journey through the elements. And so it starts with earth and helps you to really ground and and nourish yourself, And then it goes through to fire, which is all about the purification process, purifying your lineage, purifying yourself, anything that might come up in that way. And then it goes to water. And, no, sorry, air, which is all about making a connection to your spirit baby, and that module really focuses on that connection. And then it goes to water, which is about surrender and and really trying to enjoy the process, and then ether, which is the end, and it kind of wraps it up with this stillness, kinda emphasis on stillness and on being and on even deeper than surrender somehow, just like this real total letting go and and dropping into that divine trust and and divide timing. And, each module contains a video, which I like to think of these videos as transmissions. So I feel like I'm transmitting a certain kind of frequency and really helping you or the the viewer to align and and make it and make it to your highest vibration possible. And then I share a practice in that video too that you can do throughout the module. And then there are guided meditations, which I'm really proud of these meditations. I spent a lot of time picking out the background music, and I've worked with, the binaural beats so that they influence your brainwaves so that you're either going into theta or delta state, which means that you're much more, susceptible to receiving imagery and visions and having that kind of shamanic experience throughout these meditations. And then there is an allied section, and this is, where I cover some different nutritional tips and flower essences that you can work with, herbal infusions, crystals, essential oils, and things of that nature. And then I also do, some journal prompts and some rituals to help you kind of wrap up and integrate. And then there are stories that I do with women that I'm calling story time. So I chose five different women from around the world who had beautiful stories to tell about their conception process and and or connecting with their baby in spirit. And you also tell yours, so that's six. And I also tell my story about Elijah and this baby that I was currently yeah. Well, that now that now is born. So there's lots of story time. And then we have a few bonuses as well. And one of those is a meditation that's super beautiful. One of my favorite ones, actually. And that one, you can even use in pregnancy to connect deeper with your baby. And then I do I I include a mantra too. That we we sampled that mantra on our last podcast together. Yeah. Yeah. I love that one. And so that one you can download and even include in your birthing playlist if you end up getting pregnant. And, there's a resources section. So I think I think I haven't missed ever anything. Yeah. And so as far as who it's for, I think it's for that woman who recognizes that she not only does she want a baby, but she wants to do that work that we've been talking about, you know, this whole call. She wants to do that work. She wants to unpeel those layer peel back those layers. She wants to release herself from resistance and fear, drop into a deeper trust, and, of course, learn how to connect with her spirit baby. And I think this is also for women who already have, potentially a deep connection and the meditations and the videos and everything will just help them to go even deeper. But for those who are like, what is a spirit baby? It's also for you. Absolutely.
Speaker 4
Mhmm. So
Speaker 2
Yeah. Beautiful. And so would this be something that someone could do prior to being actively ready?
Speaker 3
Yes. Like, physically ready? For sure. In fact, I think that's even better. I mean, not real. It's it's all great. But, yes, I think absolutely, to really take your time through each of these modules. And I I say that in the course, like, you can go through these one a week, or you can really take them all in and go through them, like, once a month. And so if you're a year out from saying, like, in about a year, I wanna try to conceive, you know, you could absolutely take this course, and I think it would just help you to deepen in your connection with yourself and your baby.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I also imagine, pretty confidently that even if, you know, a woman was drawn to this and they weren't yet partnered, Doing this to connect to your spirit babies absolutely can hone in and and strengthen, your field to call in the father, you know, for your child. And that's just kind of another flip way to think about it if you are currently single and and feeling curious about this. Just know that you don't have to be partnered to connect to your spirit babies and to do your work and to prepare yourself. And that actually, I would say, and it was my personal experience of the more that I let my spirit babies in and connected with them, the clearer I got on the partner I wanted. And it and it really actively facilitated knowing, you know, not to settle and finding, the person that was really at the vibration that could match what these children were showing
Speaker 3
me. Absolutely. I love that so much. In fact, I had a friend contact me who is not in partnership and she she was like, I wanna take that course when it's out because I felt a little baby, you know, and I wanna deepen that. Totally. Yeah. I agree.
Speaker 2
Yeah. This is ours. This is women's, you know, and and obviously, you do need a cell of a sperm. Sure. But but I think the point is this is really stepping into this unknown and this deep work and this spirit play where you actually don't have to have all the pieces figured out and you can start playing with what is already yours, which is your connection to the divine, you know, your connection to the universe, your connection to the spirit world, you can already do this and let that play kind of actually be the thing that leads your life and your choices and your physical reality.
Speaker 3
Mhmm. Mhmm. Definitely.
Speaker 2
I've told this story on here, I'm sure, somewhere, but I never felt our boy ever my whole life really, like, not with any not with any clarity until the first night I slept with my now husband. Mhmm. And the first night that he and I were intimate like that, our son woke me up in my dream and was floating above me like a weird little cherub ghost baby. Wow. And he was fully like, that's my dad. I'm coming later. This is my name. And I was like, woah. Okay. Cool. And I told Johnny, I was like, oh, I just met our son. And he was like, oh, my God. That's so
Speaker 4
cool. Wow.
Speaker 3
That's amazing.
Speaker 2
So, okay. So, that sounds amazing. And I'm just so proud of you that you did this and and wow, just what a cool tracking with your own pregnancy and, and it is out now and that is so cool and you're only two weeks postpartum and so I'm just really excited for all the women who are gonna take this and learn and step into a whole another way of interacting with, with their spirit, their womanliness, their mother, you know, their motherhood. It's just so, it's really for all women. So, thank you for creating it and you can go check it out at free birth society courses dot com. And, yeah, with that, let's shift into whatever you have to tell us about the end of your pregnancy.
Speaker 3
So it was amazing, you know, because I had all these doubts this whole pregnancy of, is the house gonna be finished? Is the course gonna be finished? Is the blah blah blah? There was something else I was working on. Oh, I was trying to establish my permanent residency abroad for my whole family in Mexico. Mexico. Is that gonna be done? And how am I gonna do all this? You know? And it actually it all got finished. I mean, more or less. My my house is still sort of under construction, but we moved in when I was thirty eight weeks pregnant. And we were determined to be in here. Even though we didn't have a bedroom door at the moment of moving in, we moved in anyway. And so so, yeah, like I said earlier, I had I had there was this one day at thirty five weeks pregnant where I was like, oh, wow. I might give birth now, you know, because I had, pretty back to back contractions for, I don't know, a few hours. And I kinda made peace with that. Okay. This baby has totally surprised me on all levels, so they're gonna surprise me again. They're gonna come now. That would definitely was not the case. I had much, much further to go. So I ended up going to forty two weeks pregnant, which was shocking to me because I, with my first baby, gave birth on exactly forty weeks on the due date. And then with Elijah, I gave birth at thirty nine, weeks and five days or something, four days. And so I was just certain I was not going to go over my date. And it's kinda like what you said earlier, Emilee. Like, it doesn't matter how many babies you have. They're all different. And now I really understand that to be true. They really are. And it's kind of annoying when people say that, but it's true actually. And all pregnancy is different. Pregnancies are different, and you just have to roll with it, you know. And it's
Speaker 2
it's like our human behavior. It's our it's our human nature to look for patterns. But it does always kind of make me chuckle when like, you know, I'll hear, you know, and I I I mean this totally light hearted, but I'll hear like a second time mom be like, oh, yeah. I always go early.
Speaker 3
Right. There's no always. Okay. You've only given birth twice. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2
I mean, maybe if you are a mother of nine and all nine of your babies Right. Is forty three. Like, you know, Yolanda apparently, like, all of her eight children went past forty two. Like, okay. That's a pretty solid pattern, I would say.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2
But, that absolutely doesn't mean that one's not gonna surprise her, and it just feels like, kind of that's part of the tension too, of of the the deeper into our mothering we get, or, you know, becoming a mom of three is like that that human nature to look for patterns, but it's just a way to think we can control. And so then, of course, you get blasted by, you know, your sweet baby being super cozy till forty two weeks, and just, like, what a, yeah, what a example of the let go and the unknown and and just the the how totally not in charge you are.
Speaker 3
Yes. Exactly. And so it was just, again, deepening and deepening and deepening into that, which had been sort of the whole journey for me in pregnancy. And then this freaking, like, coronavirus stuff starts happening. I'm just like, this is a crazy pregnancy. Like, I and so many weird things happen. Like, for example, I hired my friend who is an amazing woman. She's a doula, but she's also a postpartum doula. And I was like, okay. I want you I told her, I might I probably won't want you to be at the birth. Like, I do wanna do this alone with my family, but I really want you to help me postpartum and also some stuff before I give birth. She's just an amazing she does, like, water massages and, some kind of, like, energy work that is a little bit similar to cranial sacral work. Anyway, so she kinda rushes out here because she doesn't live in our town, thinking that for sure I'm gonna be giving birth. You know? And she stays here for two weeks, and we're all just, like, waiting around for me to give birth. And so she ends up having to leave before I even give birth because of the whole coronavirus thing and the routes started closing, and she has a son who is only, like, six, seven. And, you know, she needed to get back. So I was like, okay. That plan is out the window. And then I had this midwife hired who was gonna help me with paperwork, and she's the same woman who helped me with my last birth. And so it was the same deal. I'm not gonna call you, but I do need help registering my baby afterward. Okay. No problem. She gets super sick and is in the hospital. And so I'm forty week one weeks pregnant and get a message from her, like, I can't do anything with you. I'm like, wow. This pregnancy is just like I don't even know what to make of this anymore. So she has a backup woman for me, and it ended up being totally fine. This this other woman came out the the the day after I gave birth and helped me with papers. So, you know, it was fine. But, like, it it did test again my trust and, you know, you're not sane when you are that fully pregnant. You are just emotional. I mean, I was amazed at how fast my emotions could shift, and we were in contact a lot. You're like, how are you doing? I'm like, great. And then an hour later, I'm like, well,
Speaker 4
this baby's so horrible. Yeah.
Speaker 3
You know? And I'm I'm never gonna give birth. And so I had these off and on contractions that would come and go, but there were a couple of days peppered in the three weeks up to when I actually did give birth, where I it was a there were a good, like, two hours of back to back contractions. You know? So I was like, okay. This is it. I'm going into labor. And that happened at least three times. And so by the time I went into labor, I was almost in denial about it.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
And the night before, I think I was in in, like, what I would call transition, but just emotionally speaking. Because I picked a fight with my husband for no reason at all, no good reason, And I was yelling at him. We don't fight usually ever. And so and then he yelled back at me, and then later he laughed and he was like, I don't know why I didn't just tell you you were right and offer to rub your feet. Like, that's what you
Speaker 4
should do when you're forty two weeks pregnant.
Speaker 3
Like, yeah. That's right. Remember that. But but, you know, I picked the fight. I I threw myself in my bed very dramatically. I said I was never gonna give birth, and I literally felt that way, Emilee. I mean, it was so irrational, and I knew how irrational it was. And I said that out loud. This is so irrational, but I literally feel like I will never give birth to this baby. And and it was it was such a such an initiation into mystery with this baby too because he wasn't as loud as Elijah was in in the spirit baby kind of communication process, you know, which was a little bit ironic, like, as I'm creating this course and this baby was pretty quiet. And I even felt that way, like, leading up to the birth, like, no. I I literally never gonna give birth to this baby because I can't even feel it. Like, it's, like, so mysterious to me, you know. And and then I I, you know, I went into this whole freak out of, like, the whole pregnancy has been hard and now the birth's gonna be so hard and, you know, I just I was going through the whole range. And my husband lovingly held space for me and he he was like, you know what? I actually think it's really gonna be fine. I think it's gonna be a great birth. I totally trust you. All of the right things that you can say. And then
Speaker 2
He wasn't like, you're fucked.
Speaker 4
No. They got sucked.
Speaker 3
And and then I fell asleep and nothing happened in the night. I woke up and I felt totally fine. And I felt just kind of like, okay. I don't actually care anymore when this baby's gonna come, you know?
Speaker 2
Nice. And Yeah. To let go.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I'm just gonna go on about my life pretending like I'll never give birth. And then, I was making breakfast and suddenly, I felt a sensation and it felt a little bit different, but I was kind of in denial. And I actually felt that the head was right there. So when the contraction was coming, I felt like this pushing down, you know. And I'm like, Okay. Well, I'm just gonna wait and see and continue to make my breakfast. And then in a couple of minutes later, same thing. So I told my husband, I gotta go upstairs. I I don't know what's happening, but we'll see. You know? And so a few minutes after that, I yelled down at him and said, you need to vacuum up here. Because I had cleaned my room so many times thinking
Speaker 4
I was gonna give birth,
Speaker 3
but, like, by that point, it wasn't clean again, you know. No.
Speaker 2
You were never gonna give birth once
Speaker 3
you once you're forty two. And he's like, okay. I'll get the vacuum. And so, thankfully, one of our friends was here to be with our son, Elijah, and my daughter was away with a friend. And I'm like, I don't know. You should probably call Violet to come home, but I'm not sure. And he's like, I think I should. Because my birth with Elijah was only two hours, so we were prepared that it could be fast. And so I'm in the bathroom. I'm texting you, like, okay.
Speaker 4
I think this is it.
Speaker 3
And, I think I wrote in our group, you know, send me some love, and it was literally half an hour, I think, after I wrote you that I was giving birth. So it was like making breakfast and then having a baby in your arms, you know? And I'm I'm yelling at my husband to light the fire and light the incense because we had all these rituals planned, you know? You're like,
Speaker 2
do the rituals. See my room and do the fucking rituals.
Speaker 4
Poor guy is, like, running.
Speaker 2
Make this spiritual, Brandon.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Exactly. Oh my god. And then he's, like, mopping on top of that, which I didn't ask.
Speaker 2
My god.
Speaker 4
It's like
Speaker 2
That's hilarious.
Speaker 3
And then, eventually, my daughter shows up, and she knew she was gonna be the one to film. And so she starts filming, and I I started to start filling up the tub because I realized, like, I think it's happening soon. And it was the same kinda deal that I had with Elijah, which was, oh, I think I need to go poop, but, like, it was the head, you know?
Speaker 4
My god.
Speaker 3
And I I kept thinking that a couple of times. And then I had to remind myself, you have done this before and it was the same thing, and it's probably your baby and not that you have to go to the bathroom. And so I quickly filled up the tub, got in, and and she starts video filming me. And I say on the video, Brandon, don't leave again. And so he finally gets in there after doing the rituals and the mopping in the vacuuming. And I swear he was born ten minutes later.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 3
After Britney got in there. And so, it was such an interesting birth, you know. I was very sober somehow. I didn't I feel like I went through all those other labor phases sort of the weeks before, you know. And so when the moment came, it was just like ejection, you know? And I was very slowly,
Speaker 2
like, how long?
Speaker 3
I mean, literally, from the minute I felt the sensation downstairs to when I was birthing him was forty five minutes.
Speaker 2
Yeah. That's that's a you didn't have time for the whole thing.
Speaker 3
I didn't have time. I didn't have the birth pause. I didn't have the
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 3
I mean, it was just boom, you know? He was there. So how was
Speaker 2
it for you to, like, kinda keep up with that?
Speaker 3
Oh my god. Weird. Really weird, actually. I almost missed it. I almost missed the sort of psychedelic, you know, state that you can enter. I was like, And even afterward, my husband says, that was a little anticlimactic, Nancy. Oh my god. Did all the rituals for this?
Speaker 4
I just gave you a baby, dude. It was not
Speaker 3
that anticlimactic, but I think what he knew was that, like, we didn't we didn't have that drop in. We were just there. You know? And that's birth sometimes, so it's all good. But but it was pretty hilarious. But something magical about the experience is that my baby was born in his amniotic sac. And so, as he was coming out, his head the sac hadn't broken, and Brandon says in the video, she's here. She's here. Because we're
Speaker 4
all funny. Yeah.
Speaker 3
And, oh, this I don't know if you said something about the sack still. So I didn't, like, really notice it when I was giving birth, but later in the video, I got to see it. And then once the whole body emerged and I pulled him up, the sac had broken by that point. But, yeah, it was it was pretty amazing because then I, like, immediately see his balls, and I was like, it's
Speaker 4
a boy? Yeah. I think it's hilarious. So tell me
Speaker 2
a little bit more about the sack. Did it break, or did you have to peel it open?
Speaker 3
No. So he he when he came out, it was still there. So the head didn't come. It was like the sac coming first, the bubble kind of. And then happened so fast, you know. Once I pulled the body out, then then it had broken by that point. But it wasn't like an intentional breaking of the sack. But we had to peel off the sack from the top of his head. You know? Mhmm. So we still have that when we were gonna make a little drum out of it. So
Speaker 4
so anyway
Speaker 2
You catch the baby yourself?
Speaker 3
I did. Yeah. I did. And it was and it was an amazing birth. I mean, I I no tearing or anything like that. I was really being mindful to support myself the whole time, and I wasn't really thinking. It was just all very primal. I said some funny things as I was giving birth to him. I started off kind of oming, and then I did one serious scream, which I'm so bummed my daughter did not get on film. But she said it hurt her ears so badly that she had to, like, step out of the of the bathtub area. And and I told her I was ripping open the space time continuum with my screen to get a lady to come down. What it felt like is so primal. You know? And, and then the last bit when, when he's coming out, I'm saying, oh, baby? Oh, baby? Oh, baby?
Speaker 4
Like, in this kind of just bizarre
Speaker 3
I don't even know accent. It's just so funny the things you say. Right?
Speaker 4
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3
And it's almost just like a sound like, as a sound healer, I kinda look at it like that too. It's almost just this sound healing happening or this just primal sounding, and you're not really making sense with your words always. But, yeah, that's what I said. And and then, yeah, we were just shocked that it was a boy. And yet at the same time, now that he's here, I'm like, oh, yeah. Of course, you were a boy. You know? Totally. It's weird. Mhmm. It's funny. It's totally funny how that can be. Yeah. So yeah. And then I birthed my placenta at my altar, and that was pretty straightforward within, like, twenty minutes, I think. And it was pretty big placenta. And we ended up doing a lotus birth, which wasn't planned. We were gonna do a cord burning ceremony, but, I chose that because I just felt like I got a message from my baby that he needed a slower transition onto earth. And that was quite beautiful. We did did that as a family, kind of salted it and put rosemary and and lavender on it. And we did some placenta prints before that. And then on day three, it naturally, just came off his cord. And I I had an emotional release on that day, and I really felt like, okay. He's here with us now. He's actually on Earth. You know? Totally. So Yes.
Speaker 2
So intense.
Speaker 3
So intense. But he's such a mellow dude. He's such a mellow little baby. So interesting. So so funny. Mhmm.
Speaker 2
Well, I think it really highlights how it was all, like, urine your stuff. You know? Like, you're in a good way, you know, like your projections, your your, expectations, your stuff, which is great because I mean, you're the one here on this planet, you know, the baby's really new, so I think it's totally fair, but I think it is kind of a cool, reveal, you know, that like, now how it
Speaker 3
all makes sense at the end. Yeah. Anything else that you wanna
Speaker 2
say or share?
Speaker 3
Gosh. There's so much, but I feel like that's enough.
Speaker 2
Okay. Well
Speaker 3
Yeah. I'm just really excited. I'm really excited to have this course out, and I I feel like I said, you know, I'm on the other side of this birth now, and and all that tensions just released itself. And I feel that I got really initiated into a new level of of trust, and especially with the current, like, global situation processing all that, you know, it's like, woah. It's been a lot. But at the end of the day, that's where it's taken me is this deeper layer, deeper sense of trust because what else is there to
Speaker 2
do, really? It just it just becomes way more fun to choose that.
Speaker 3
Yes. You know, I just I feel
Speaker 2
like the trying to control and all the other stuff is it just gets boring.
Speaker 3
That's true. That's true.
Speaker 2
Alright. Well, everyone, go check out our course. It's amazing.
Speaker 3
Thank you so much, Emilee. Thank you.
Speaker 2
Well, thank you, girlfriend. I'm proud of you and it's an honor to witness you and and you're just you're amazing. You're everything you're putting into the world including your children are just so lovely. That's it for today, everyone. Join us next week for another episode of the Free Birth Podcast. Thanks for joining us, and remember, your body, your choice. Lots of love.
