Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm
Speaker 1
going
Speaker 0
into the wild, I am. It's been a wild freedom child since I
Speaker 1
left my roots back home.
Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm good. Into the wild, I'm here. It's been a while, freedom child, since I
Speaker 1
left my roots back home.
Speaker 2
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya.
Speaker 0
It's been a wild freedom change since
Speaker 1
I've left my rules back home.
Speaker 3
Sister, is birth work your calling? Do you long to witness and support the awesome power of women as we make life form kinship and transform the world through undisturbed mother centered birth? In your most expansive vision of your life, are you the authentic midwife of your community, walking in total grace, reciprocity, and trust with women through the sacred portal of pregnancy and birth? Then our groundbreaking Radical Birthkeeper School is for you. It is an immersive, live, intensive mastermind in all things authentic midwifery that will give you the blueprint and guidance to launch a life altering, world shaking, radical birth brand and business. Think birth business mastermind, life changing coaching intensive, deep dive into all things birth, step by step roadmap for serving women authentically, and the wise woman initiation that you have been dreaming of, all rolled into one epic program that will change your entire life. It is time to become the lighthouse that guides women home to ourselves. Head to free birth society courses dot com slash radical birth keeper now to claim your spot and say yes to your calling. Today on the show, we have Natalie from Australia sharing her story of the journey to free birth with her second son. After finding the Free Birth Society podcast in her early postpartum days with her first baby, Natalie vowed to set herself up to embody her prayer of free birthing her next baby. When the time came, Natalie had a truly wild pregnancy and shares with us how she faced the fears that were surrounding her and how she protected her energy and birth space fiercely and entered the vortex of birth to roar her son into the world. Welcome, Natalie.
Speaker 4
Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited to be here.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Me too. I know you have a a pretty rocking story. So why don't you take us to wherever it begins for you?
Speaker 4
Okay. So I think it begins with my first pregnancy and my first son. I free birthed my second son.
Speaker 3
And with my first pregnancy, when me
Speaker 4
and my partner walked into that, we were very much well on the way to this kind of wild sovereign, you know, undomesticated life. And when we were going through that pregnancy, we decided to, go through a government funded program to have a midwife present. So what that meant was that it was a free service. Mhmm. However Western Australia at the time. So in Australia, I think there's a couple of or maybe three or four places where they have these government funded programs. And so it's a free service, and you get to choose a midwife to have through your pregnancy and birth. And you can have them at the birthing center or at home or whatever. However, what comes with that is you have to have you'd have to tick all the little boxes. Like, everything has to be, you know, perfect or whatever, this like grade A pregnancy. And that was pretty easy for me. But there were still definitely things that when I look back now caused me, you know, the tiniest things that caused me so much stress. And I remember walking through those things and being with my partner and just being like, there's gotta be another way. There's gotta be another way. And at that point in time it was like, well, the other way is to hire a private midwife, home birth midwife, and, you know, pay that money, and then we don't have to go through all all of this. And Well, but you would still have to
Speaker 1
go through all of it.
Speaker 4
Yes. But I think in Australia like, with this specific program, if you have a private midwife, there the little things that I went through that they were picking on, what wouldn't have been a problem. Yeah.
Speaker 3
I mean, I know what you mean, but I I just mean, like, private midwives in Australia still have boxes you need to tick and like you still have to perform right and can easily get risked out. And they're still a part of the system. It's not the like, which I know you know this, I'm telling other people. It's not the like utopian alternative that it might sound like.
Speaker 4
Absolutely. Yeah. So anyway, we went through, you know, a pretty easy pregnancy and an incredible it was still an incredible, empowering, beautiful, life altering birth, at home in our little apartment. And, yeah, he I I gave birth to him in the water, and it was very I am very thankful that the midwife that we have had was, you know, she was respectful of our decisions and she was very hands off. Like, I didn't even know she was there during the the birth, the last few hours of his birth. And then kinda skipping to postpartum, I had a beautiful baby boy. I was very, like, we were very happy, very connected. Everything was just amazing. And, as I was just saying to you before we started recording, it must have been like six or seven weeks postpartum and I had my baby on my chest one day and my partner was at work and I was scrolling, I must have been scrolling through Instagram and I came across the Free Birth Society Instagram page. And I was like, oh, what's this? This is interesting. Obviously I was so into birth because I'd just had this, you know, transformative experience. And so I started listening to the podcast and I remember my partner came home that day and I was just like starry eyed. And he walked through the door, and I was like, oh my god. You have to listen to what I've been listening to all day. And he was like, what? What is it? And I just remember it was like this huge light bulb moment for me and something I'd never considered previous to, listening to the podcast. And I just I remember listening to the first episode and coming away from it and, like, looking down at my baby and just looking around the place where he had been born and being like, that's essentially, that's what I did, but I had someone there. And in the long run, that person that was there, that system that was there caused me unnecessary stress. Like, I totally like, it was just me and Zach, my partner, the whole time. Like, it was just and then it was just me. Like, of I birthed my baby. Of course I did.
Speaker 3
I would say, like, you know, probably the other distinction worth mentioning is the work that happens, which, of course, you know this because then you went on to have a free birth. The work that happens when a medical provider is absent is uniquely distinct confronting and and a whole realm of responsibility in and of itself. Right? So, like, even though the midwife didn't do anything, she was still there in the JIC. Right?
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And and that is great if that's what people want. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Right? But that piece that's quite, like, intangible and yet so massive to the choice to birth without a medical provider, I yeah. I would say is, like, the other kind of obvious.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Because, of course, you
Speaker 3
birth your own baby. Of course.
Speaker 4
Yes. And absolutely. And I think that that was, like, when I then went started going through my second pregnancy with my second son, Okey, I just remember feeling, you know, obviously going through that whole process and remember you know, walking through each step and and particularly the birth and recognising how much of my power I had given away because I was respondent to this person that would I knew was gonna come into the space.
Speaker 5
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
And I as I said, like, I didn't know she was there the whole time, but I do I did know when she walked through the door. And I do remember that feeling of, like, I suppose, relief. And upon reflection on that, I was looking to an outside source to gain this, like, oh, okay. Now it's safe to birth or now it's safe to whatever. And, that was something that obviously came up for me a lot during my second pregnancy, which was a completely wild pregnancy.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And I think that that's completely normal and first time mom, like, feeling that sense of relief. You know, there's nothing like you know, when the midwife rock walks in, I just wanna be clear to people listening. Like, there's nothing neither you or I are suggesting that that's, like, bad or that Yeah. Anything like that. But I think the the really interesting push around free birth is what would it feel like to not have that? What would it feel like to lean into want versus need? Right? Yeah. Like, I might want people there, but there there's no needing and yeah. Yes. So how and I also love that you got to experience such an epic birth that wasn't sabotaged from a midwife. You know? And and it sounds like a midwife who was really willing to be hands off. And, I just love how many different avenues there are for people to come to free birth because it's not a trauma story. It's not it's actually, like, quite the opposite. It's like, oh, I literally didn't even need this person here. How cool is that? Yeah. So how did your partner take it in?
Speaker 4
So my like, just onboard straight away. Nice. Yeah. He he is the eldest of three of four, sorry. And his mum free birth sorry, home birthed all of them. I was
Speaker 1
like, what? No. Yeah. What?
Speaker 4
So he and when he was seven when his first sibling was, born, so he watched his mom home birth all of all of the yeah. So when I you know, so what happened after, you know, I got introduced to the podcast around six weeks into these stories. And then when, my when Tallo, my first son, was three months old, we had packed up all our stuff, moved out of our apartment, and, like, road tripped across the country to move over to Queensland, which is where we are now. And so on this trip, we, which our child slept for like the whole way, bless him, he was such a good sleeper. We listened to episode after episode after episode and we would just sit there in the car in silence and then the episode would finish and we'd speak over it. And it was just like, you know, our baby was three months old and we were like, okay, this this is it. Like, next next pregnancy, like, that's it's it's done.
Speaker 3
That's crazy.
Speaker 4
Yeah. And so then we when we came to Queensland, we just, I guess, like, you know, as well as free birth again, we just kept kind of continuing to walk away from society and to find our own way. And, you know, we were like young, very young parents and, just, you know, started learning about all the things like unschooling and like, okay, that's something we're gonna do and just continuing to further ourselves. We were building we had bought an old school bus and we were building it into our home, and our plan was to travel throughout Australia in that. And so that's what we started to do when our son was one and a half, we moved into the bus and that's actually where we fell pregnant maybe a year after no. Being in the bus for a little bit. Not not even that long. We fell pregnant again. So we had our little toddler, and, yeah, we fell pregnant just before he turned two. And we were just out in nature all the time, like, out in these national parks and just in, tropical North Queensland, so, like, far out from mainstream society, and I was going through this pregnancy. I spent the first three months of my my pregnancy at my mom's house, and our car was parked up because I was so, like, unwell. And so yeah. You do not
Speaker 3
have, like, road trip.
Speaker 4
In a bus. Oh.
Speaker 3
Yeah. God. Yeah.
Speaker 4
So, yeah, we we bunkered down for that and, Talon Talo and Zac would just play outside all day, and then we got back in the bus when I was, like, fourteen weeks pregnant. And we spent my whole pregnancy in now in nature together in the bus, and it so it just felt like the wild pregnancy was just a natural progression. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like
Speaker 3
a wild pregnancy and then you're, like, going to an office forty hours a week. Like, you
Speaker 4
know, it's, like, actually wild. Yeah. It was. I think, obviously, it brought a lot. It brought a lot up. It it's absolutely, it was like this time it was honestly, like, the I feel bad saying this because now that Oki's here, I'm like, this is the most amazing time of my life, but there was something in there was just like this field of energy that was around all of us during that time, and it was it was incredible. Like, it was so beautiful. It was such a beautiful time. However, it you know, there was a lot of work that was being done. And when we went into the bus and our whole, like, kind of design is to and our idea of coming, you know, building our bus and coming into it, it was like we were just fully unlearning, relearning, deconditioning. Like we were doing all of that stuff anyway. And so then to bring, you know, a pregnancy and a birth into it, which was, we had one hundred percent trust in myself, my body, our baby, but it's still of course, like even for, you know, someone like me and Zac, who I think a lot of people would look at if, if they, if you know us and be like, oh, they've, you know, of course we've been on this path a while and la la la. But like, it was fucking it was, yeah, it was confronting and there was shit that we had to work through. And I think the big thing for us was our little boy would go to sleep every night and we'd sit on this couch every single night or we'd lie on the floor and we would talk about everything. Like, we would talk for hours. We would go through just everything, whether that was birth, pregnancy, like our baby's lives, what it was gonna look like with two kids, like all of it. And we just debunked everything. And at times it was really uncomfortable. I think where I had, I guess for me, like coming into the birthing world, I never had, any sort of, reflective experience around me. Like, all I knew was that my mum had natural births natural births at the hospital. But I there was never any, like, horror stories around me. There was never, like my mum never spoke of any trauma that, you know, she had had or my grandmother had had. And so for me, it was just, I think that when I walked into, you know, Tello's pregnancy and then Oki's pregnancy, I was just like a sponge and I knew which way I wanted to go. And I suppose that I'm quite thankful that that was my experience because I know that, you know, obviously, we all have such such such different experiences. And I think for me that that was a, I don't know. It was just like, for lack of a better term, I guess it was quite easy for me to just, you know, walk into this and be like, yep. This is what I wanna do. I don't really have any other
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
Experiences around that, so I'm just gonna go for it. I know that's my truth. I, you know, I know that's my way. Awesome.
Speaker 3
But I feel like we need to stop for a second and, like, give yourself more credit because it's, like yes. That's awesome that you can, like, notice where you didn't have a ton of really, really heavy, thick, trauma informed stories at your back, but you also, like, live in the same world as everyone else. You know? And you've also seen all the same movies as everyone else. And, like, you know, you still I think there's something to be said that you also let it be easy, and you let it be simple, and you let it be in aligned with who you are and what you want. And you could have easily not, you know, and still gone the normal mainstream way. And and and I also really respect that you, like, really walked the fucking walk. You know? And and, yes, of course, there's not one way to do that and, you know, whatever. That's, like, kind of a a a a heady, you know, sentence, I think. You know what I mean? But, like, I know so many people, women, who claim spiritual practice and claim, you know, all of this this consciousness raising, and then they'll get induced. And Yeah. It's like, what the fuck else are we, like, working for if we're not taking birth as the peak spiritual experience? Right? So yeah.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Totally. Yeah. I so agree with, like, everything. Yes. Absolutely. But, yeah, it was so there was, of course, still all the things that came up, but I think so so I guess, look, the the biggest thing that came up for me was at this point in time, Zach is really close to his mom. I'm really close to my mom. And, Zach's mom, you know, had these beautiful home births, but she was also studying to be a midwife at this time. You know, she was obviously in that world and and quite different to what she had
Speaker 5
she
Speaker 4
was, you know, just learning all these it was just like very different ballgame to what she had been birthing in and what she'd immersed herself in during her pregnancies and births. And she also lived in Western Australia and we were living in Queensland and living in the bus. So, at this point in time, our parents knew, who were obviously like the biggest relationships in our lives, they knew that with what we were doing, if they had anything to say about it, they would just get we were strong enough to just be like, we'll see you later. Like, we'll see you after the pregnancy. We'll see you, like, yeah, after the baby's born. We're like, just stop. Just stop. You know? We're not Right.
Speaker 3
Like, get on board or Yeah. We'll send you a photo. Yeah. Yeah. Totally.
Speaker 4
And so I remember my mom, of course, who I'm super close to and who we were actually living with throughout, you know, the time that we had first moved to Queensland, she I could tell that she was had feelings of she just we'd talk about it or I was talking to her about it before I was even pregnant. She was like, yeah, wow, okay, cool. Like, and when I was pregnant and it would come up every now and then, and I could feel she was just, like to her credit, she didn't I feel like maybe she was a bit more uncomfortable than what she let on, but she was just kinda like, yeah. Okay. Like, I I just want you to be safe. I just la la la la. And I was like, yeah. I I know. Like, I know. I know. And I'm good. I'm here. And I think, again, she just she knew at this point, she trusted me and she trusted my body. And I think I really think that she did, she did do that even, and she didn't portray her fears onto me or us if she did have them. And I think there was a few things throughout my pregnancy. There was a few experiences, or conversations that happened where at the time, I felt like it wasn't affecting me so much. Like, I walked out of the conversation. There was one conversation when we went to visit Zac's family in Western Australia and I was probably around thirty weeks pregnant. There was one conversation that happened with Zac's mum where I felt really strong and I felt like I was not, what's the word, like I wasn't defending myself. I was just like, essentially, this is my body. This is our decision. This is our baby. And I know that you trust birth and I know that you trust us. And so you just have to keep leaning into that. But the conversation went on for a little bit too long and kind of kept going around in circles, as you can imagine. And I walked away from it and I was like, cool. I think I, I think that, like, I'm okay. And then of course, like right before I gave birth, it fully came up and I was like, how could we even go into that conversation? Like, why did that even happen? I should have just walked away. I should have been like, this is it. We're done. And so I had to work through that. And then there was a few other little things that happened from people who didn't even fucking know us. Like, I'd yeah. Which Mhmm. I had to work through this one experience as to it was actually, again, when we were in Western Australia, and it was Zac's, mum's neighbor who had something to say, of course. And I was just so me and Zach, I remember just staring at each other and being like, what? What? Like, who are these like, get out of our lives. Totally. So and then as you said, of course, there was still stuff that would come up for me, and I would be like, well, what if this happens or what if that happens? Are we how far away are we gonna be from a hospital and, like, la la la. But I absolutely like, giving myself credit, I just fully fucking went in and I did at that time. Like, I had so much trust in my body and so much trust in our baby and this journey. And I definitely think I know that, obviously, not everyone can have a pregnancy out in nature traveling in a caravan or a bus or whatever, but I think that that was such a huge component in me just, like, protecting my space and not having fear in in it, really. Like, again, of course, there was stuff that came up, but Yeah.
Speaker 3
But being able to distinguish, like, what's yours and do the work on that versus being in a sea of what is other people's, which is what most women are navigating. It's just like a sea of fear from everybody around them.
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 3
You know? You got to actually, like, figure out what was yours and what to do about it.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Yeah. And I think I gave I'd like, we gave ourselves the space to do that, and that was such a beautiful such a beautiful gift. Yeah. So then, I think I'll go to, like, a few days before he was born. We were in the bus and then we were like, well, we better find somewhere to birth because I don't wanna birth in the bus. I want a bigger space. So we found this beautiful little cottage, that was down in Northern New South Wales and we, it was out in the bush on land. And weirdly enough, we went there. It was just like a little rental on a piece of land and there was like the main house and then this little house. And the woman was a woman was living there, like, early forties with her two girls, and she had free birth to her first daughter in that cottage. So she was cool. She was like, yeah. This is so beautiful. This is amazing. Like, if you need help with tallow when you go into labor Yeah. So she was that was really nice. You know, she had a nice energy and she was very not invasive Yeah. In our school. So I was I should yeah. Let's, like, backtrack kind of maybe into around thirty, twenty five, thirty weeks pregnant, somewhere around there. You know, throughout the pregnancy, we knew that we wanted to have, like, a a friend someone there to help be in our space. And, you know, we kind of contemplated having my mum there and then we were like, You know what? That's not the right energy. No. What where are we gonna go with this? Who And I think at the time as well, we were really coming like, we had some really good friends, but we were kind of all over the place because we were travelling and we'd meet people travelling. And Mhmm. So I was like, who is a solid rock, a foundation? And, you know, over the last, like, kinda year, friendship had been blossoming blossoming with, one of my friends, Hailey. And that relationship this relationship with that I have with Hailey in particular, it's just been, like, so much leveling up for both of us. So many sister wounds come up, like, so much growth. And so, of course, I got to this stage of my pregnancy where I was like, okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna ask Hailey. And I remember being, like, super nervous, like, as as if she was gonna say no. Like Will
Speaker 1
you marry me? Yeah.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So I reached out to her and I, you know, sent her, like, this voice message and I said, this is what I what this is why I want you here. And essentially, what I wanted was what I needed was I needed to know that Tello was safe. Of course. And I needed I needed to know that he was okay amongst the roaring because I yeah. I wasn't you know, we watched the birth videos every single day, and we watched all of, like, his his, his little friend's mamas give birth, and and free birth in particular. But still, I was like, of course. Like, I don't know I don't know how he's gonna handle it. I don't know if it's gonna be too much. I knew that Hailey is an incredible holder of space, and I knew that it was gonna be everything that I needed it to be. And how I envisioned it was that Hailey would be with Tallow and Zac would kind of be more by my side and Hailey and Tao would be, like, standing back a bit and playing and doing all the things.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 4
So that was cool. I had that in place. I was super excited. Like, we were very excited to have Hayley there. And then coming up to a few days before the birth or before I went into labor, if if we were calculating from my last period, it would have been, like, literally the day before I was forty weeks. And I just, like, had this feeling in my body leading up to these days, and it was very I didn't have it with tallow. And I just it was I felt like my baby should be here right now by now. Like, I was like he wants to come. He wants he wants to be here, but he's not here. I have no real signs of labor. Like, it was just this weird feeling that I was like, what's kinda what's going on? And I was talking to a couple of friends about it, like Haley and another friend. And one of my other friends, I was having this conversation with her, and she was like, well, have you worked like, how how are you going with, like, all all of the fear stuff? Like, do you have any do you have any fears that you haven't worked through? Is there something else that you need to, like, touch on or think about or ride out? And I was like, no, I have worked through everything. I feel like I've worked through everything. And I walked away from that conversation and just kinda sat on the couch and all of a sudden, all of this stuff started coming up and I was like, woah, woah, like what's happening? And so I was like, hey, Zac, take Tello. They went out for the afternoon and I just sat on the couch and wrote out everything that I was feeling in my body. And it was like such ridiculous sentences. I would write it out and as I was writing it out, I would literally laugh. Like and as you said, I grew up I'm I'm a part of this society and I think that that's where that I've as soon as I started writing, I was like, none of this belongs to me. This is literally like shit that happens in a movie. Mhmm. But it's there. And I I think because I know how ridiculous all of that stuff is, I never really gave it two cents. But then when it came to this point, I was like, oh, well, actually, I have seen that in in my life, and I need to just get rid of it now.
Speaker 3
Yes. And, like, you have a living child. You know, you have a living child, and you are heading into the unknown. You know? Like, even take away the the, you know, cultural conditioning, it is spiritually energetically just like, woah. You know? It's just such a unknown, mysterious, somewhat scary, somewhat everything. You know? Just like black hole of unknownness. Right? It's like the it's like it requires such a level of surrender. And I think with the living child aspect of it, that makes sense that there would just be some, like, big Yeah. I don't even know the words for it.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Just big, big
Speaker 1
thumbs. Yeah.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Yeah. So I wrote all this stuff out, and then I again, I was literally laughing to myself as I was writing it out. Like, this is so ridiculous. Like, none of this stuff Yeah. Is mine. And so I ripped out the page from my journal, and I went outside. And I'm sharing this because I feel like it's such an incredible thing to do for anyone that's going through, pregnancy and birth. And, again, like, for me, having this moment where I was like, I feel like my baby wants to come, but I haven't gone into labor. And I just there was, like, this knowing that, okay. This he's like, come on, mom. A little bit more a little bit more work, like, pushing me. So I took out this piece of paper outside, and it was, like, a really beautiful afternoon. He was born in, February in Australia, so summer and just where we were, the sky, and it was just like the most radical place to give birth. It was so beautiful. And, yes, I went outside and I just, like, sat on the ground. I had a lighter and I think some sage or something, and I just sat there and held this piece of paper. And I and I repeated to myself out loud, I return this to its original owners. I return this to its original owners and I burnt it. And it's so wild, but honestly, I burnt the piece of paper and I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I honestly, it was like wild. And I just felt so at peace. And that night I had a really good night's sleep and it was just such a nice experience. And then the next morning I had been losing my mucus plug like three days before and then a little bit more on that day. And then the next morning we woke up and we were like, let's take the bus and drive to the beach for the morning. So we drove to this secluded beach that we'd never been to in the area. And we were, like, literally the only people on the beach and Zac and Tello went to swim in the ocean and I was like, I'm just gonna walk up the beach. And I remember, like, running and jumping and dancing and just, like, moving my body. And, we had this beautiful morning, just the three of us at the beach, and then we got home and Tello was asleep and Zac came out from putting him in the bedroom. I was just in the kitchen, like, frantically making lunch, like, very frantically, not my energy at all. And he was just kind of observing me and he was like, like, what are you doing? And I was like, I just I need to eat. I need to eat. And I think that one of the stories that I told myself was, Tallo's labour was twenty two hours all up from start to finish. And it started at two am in the morning. And I think between that whole time, I had like a piece of toast and some coconut water. And, I was really shaky throughout some of his labour because I didn't have any sugar in my body. And so I just remember throughout the pregnancy being like, I need to have a belly full of food. I'm gonna that's gonna be different this time. And so Zach was just like, okay, so I made this meal and I ate it. And as soon as I finished it, I was sitting on the couch and I was like, oh, that feels that feels new and different and like a like essentially, I guess, really profound period pain.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
And Zac was like, okay, cool. Like, alright, let's just keep going about our day. And sure enough, this period pain, like, period like pain, kept happening. And again, it was so diff So it was very different to the experience with tallow because with tallow, I woke up to a contraction. And, you know, like a mild contraction, but still that was my first experience. And then I kind of slept throughout the first four hours waking in and out of sleep. And also with Tallo's, birth, there was a lot of resistance because it was my first baby. There was, of course, like, all this unknown. I wasn't where I was at, obviously, in this pregnancy. And there was yeah. When I look back on it, there was a lot of resistance, and I think that that could have been one of the reasons why I laboured so long. You're you're so tired. Like long.
Speaker 1
Yeah. No. I was just thinking that.
Speaker 3
Like, I heard
Speaker 1
you did
Speaker 3
twenty two hours, and I was like, damn. He flew out.
Speaker 1
Hey. It's all real good.
Speaker 4
Right? It's all real good.
Speaker 1
That's funny.
Speaker 4
It's so good. Yeah. So yeah. It was just it was just I feel like it was an experience I didn't have with Tallo to really start feeling through Yeah. The contractions. And something else that I probably should've said before, but I didn't note was, you know, when me and Zach would stay up at night talking and throughout that throughout that journey of of pregnancy being in the bus and stuff, I would visualize and journal on how I wanted the birth to look. And me and Zac would stay up all night and talk about how I wanted it to look down to, like, how I was gonna feel. I was, you know, for example, with with Tallo's pregnancy, I was com sorry. With Tallo's labor, I was completely I was so inward that I wasn't really there. Like, I wasn't present throughout the whole thing, and I didn't want I wanted to be more present this time. I wanted to be more present in the physical, and I wanted to be able to move around. I wanted to be mobile because in, Talos pose, later my experience was that I was pretty much in child's pose or hanging over the fit ball the whole time.
Speaker 1
And I did hanging on for dear life.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Like, literally because of the resistance. And I was like, I don't want that. I wanna be able to you know, like Like, be with it instead of
Speaker 1
just like,
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.
Speaker 4
And so that was a huge process for us just to constantly be visualising and journaling on how we wanted it to look down to all the little details.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 4
So it was just like a really cool experience to really feel through the contractions and as they were getting stronger and just be present and, like, walk around, like and it was just a very different experience, laboring experience for me.
Speaker 3
I think it's important to say here for especially, you know, for first time moms or women who are in a similar position that what you did by creating by spending that much time on playing with what you did want and talking it out loud and sharing it with your partner and revisiting it over and over again, you're you're literally creating a reference point in your mind of familiarity. Right? And so it it quite quite literally opens you up to be more available to have it. Right? And so, obviously, there's only so much we can do. We're co creating this thing. We don't it's not like we're in control. But to have spent you know, it's it's obviously related that you spent so much time visualizing it and verbal verbalizing it and then allowed yourself to have it. Right? So that then you're calling in that prayer and you're actually living that prayer because you had spent a whole pregnancy getting familiar with what the prayer was. It's Yeah. Awesome.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely that, like, allowing myself to have it. Like Totally. Yeah. That's exactly what I did and what we did, and that was so clear to us. Like, when we found this rental, I just remember looking around and being I'm like, that's where the, like, that's where the birth pool goes. That's that's what's in my head. That's what's been in my head. So it was so it was so wild. But yeah, so I start that first hour of laboring. The next door neighbour, like the person who owned the land, she had a six year old who loved tallow and who loved playing. So she'd kind of come over and Zac was like, Okay, let's go over to your side of the house, like of the land. And Zac told, the lady that the mum that I was, you know, potentially in labor and so she was like, cool. Would you want me to have Tao for a few hours? And I'll bring him back around dinner time and you guys can have some time. So So Yeah. Tao was over there. Zac came back. And so that was about an hour later, so it would have been around three and I was still having these, like, pretty you know, I wasn't like moaning through anything. I was perhaps stopping and just kind of holding my belly, but there was no moaning yet. And I look I said to Zach, like, I think we should call Hayley. And he was like, you know, he's like, oh, God, we're gonna be here for hours. This is gonna be like telos birth. And he was like, oh, like, you might not even be in full blown labor. And I was
Speaker 3
like She's, like, not gonna make it.
Speaker 4
I was like, I I think I think we should just call we should just call her. So Yeah. Zac gave her Zac gave her a call. He was on the phone to her and, you know, I think fast, we were like, we didn't want her to drive three hours away if it wasn't yeah. And, of course, she was like, I'm coming. I don't care. I don't care if that doesn't go. Whatever. Like, I'm coming. I'm leaving now. And so we got off the he got off the phone and like as soon as he got off the phone, I just like kind of half fell to the ground and like started roaring through a contraction. And we just ended and we I stood up and we just looked at each other and like started laughing. We were like, okay, Definitely good thing that Hailey's coming now. And, from that point between, like, three to five or five thirty ish, it was, again, like, I just wanna note on the, like, the energy that surrounded us and surrounded that cottage. It was fucking crazy. Like, it was so beautiful and, you know, even the Corinne was her name. The the lady who lived on the land next door, she said to us, like, a few days later, like, there was, like, a vortex. It there was something this energy surrounding us and it was, again, with, like, the the afternoon glow, it was, like, the most beautiful time to go through labor. And I don't know, I'm just so proud of us for how we set ourselves up like that and it everything truly just happened exactly as it was supposed to.
Speaker 3
So good.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So, yeah, I started, you know, that two hours, I think Zac had put on some dinner for him and Tal, and we were just kind of, I was just kinda walking around and moving through the contractions. And every now and then, he'd come and I'd hang off him as I'd moved through one. And, yeah, it was super it was super beautiful. And then Tao came back around five or five thirty ish, and, Zac, I think, gave him a bath and gave him some food, and he was just very prepared to be around me in that state. There was no issue. He was just like, I was using the fit ball a lot, so he'd come up to the fit ball and, like, rub the the the bottom of my back or he'd get his little cars and, like, drive them around my back, but, like, so gently. And, he'd come up to me with, like Zach would give him the glass of water with the straw in it, and he'd come up to me between contractions, and I'd sip on it. And
Speaker 1
So cute.
Speaker 4
Very, very sweet. It started getting to a point around six where, because it was summer, it was still, like, quite light, but, you know, it was, for me, obviously, I didn't know the time, but I was looking around and being like, okay. It's gonna be Tao's bedtime soon. And I my contractions were getting more full on. So they were requiring me to be a lot more inwards and a lot more, I I suppose I was starting to feel like I wanted Zac right next to me. And I could feel I could really feel that there was this energy of Zac was like, okay. It's getting to this time. Tal needs me, but Nat needs me. And he was trying to you know, he was like, come on, Hailey. Where are you? Like, he he was kind of, you know, we could we could both feel it. And it was he was doing his very best, which I so so just, yeah, love. But I knew that I of course, like, Tello was gonna, you know, start getting really tired and anyway. So around around this time, I think I had said to him, like, hey. Do you know how how far Hailey is? And he was like, she'll be here soon. She'll be here soon. She's not far. And then I remember hearing her car pull up and I remember Tal being like, oh, Alicia. And it was the weirdest experience. Like, I just remember she was wearing, like, these white flowy pants and, where our front door was, it was like the sunlight was kind of coming down onto it. And and they opened the door, and she was there. And she just looked like an angel. She seriously she looked like an angel. And I just looked at her, and I burst into tears.
Speaker 3
So cute.
Speaker 4
Yeah. And Tal was just so happy. And, you know, she came and gave me a hug and just looked around and was like I think she said something about, like, the energy that was happening to Zach and, I
Speaker 3
am shocked she made it. Yeah. This is, like, amazing that you told her to come so early. You know?
Speaker 4
I know. Yeah. It must have been about if yeah. It must have been about six thirty if we called at three and she left straight away.
Speaker 5
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
And the other thing that I haven't mentioned is that we, like, I had a I have a YouTube channel. And back then, at that point, it was I was very active in posting on it, not so much now. But I really wanted to film the birth, obviously, for our own, you know, reference, but I wanted to be able to share that experience and what, you know, birth can can look like. So we were that was another reason why I wanted Hailey there. I just wanted to make sure that, you know, she could get some photos and maybe, help position the camera, whatever. Like so, that was set up around the house and very, like, Zach just kinda put it on at one point, turned it on, and then, you know, an hour later, he'd maybe move it to another spot and whatever. So that was also going on. But, yeah, Haley came in and started playing with Tal, and things started getting more intense. And the birth pool was filling filling up. And, I so what happened? I remember Zach coming over to me because the birth pool was, like, on one side of the house and I was on the other on the fit ball. And he was like, do you wanna, you know, get in the pool? And I think I just remember thinking like, surely it's way too soon to get in the water, but I was like, okay, let's do that. So in between contractions, he helped me kind of stand up and walk towards the pool. And as I got to the edge of the birth pool, I started moving through a contraction. So I kinda just, like, fell to the ground and started roaring. And from that point on, that must have been around seven thirty or something, maybe seven, I didn't move from there. So that was where he was gonna be gonna be born. I couldn't get in the pool. I was literally holding onto the birth pool as like a you know, and every time a contraction would come, I'd be like, hold onto it. Raw. Let it go. And so at this point as well, Tello was getting quite tired, and there was this there was this one point, which I wanna I wanna mention because I feel like it was, again, my own I wanna be better at it in my next pregnant, sorry, in my next birth when I have my next baby. And essentially what happened was, you know, I did have quite a bit of, is he okay? Like, just that was the one thing that I could have let go of more during that labor. Is Tal okay? Like he was so fine. He was having a great time and, he wasn't concerned at all. And there was this one stage when I was on all fours and Hayley was kind of behind me, pressing down on my hips and stuff when I was going through a contraction. And I started moving through a contraction quite vocal quite vocally. And I looked up because I was kinda looking down. And as I looked up, I would have had this, like, bewildered look in my eyes, you know, like, very much in the vortex. And I saw Tello right in front of me. And as soon as I as soon as I saw him, he was he was fine. And as but as soon as I saw him, I was like, oh, like, what's he doing right in front of me? Where's Zac? Why isn't Zac with him? And he felt that energy and he just burst into tears and ran over to Zac who was just walking over from getting a glass of water. And I just remember being like, you have to be with him. You have to be with him. And I just remember Hailey, like, whispering to me like, Nat, he's fine. Like Yeah. He like, he's so fine.
Speaker 1
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
And from that point, Zach put him in the carrier and was trying to get him to sleep. So they were just kind of and it so it turned out that actually what Tello needed was he needed Zac, and Haley was with me for, like, two hours on the ground moving, you know, helping me move through just being there for me, holding space for me. And she did such a frigging incredible job at that. I'm so grateful that we asked her to be there. So Tello fell asleep and Zac went into the bedroom and was trying to put him down. But every time he'd put him down, I would start roaring and then he would sit up and then Zac would put him on his shoulder and try and pat him to sleep and back and forth, back and forth.
Speaker 3
It's like a Monty Python scare.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. But I
Speaker 3
also I mean, I hear you on, like, wanting to release even more, but I also feel like it's the mind's job to find something to trip on. And, like, maybe you will reach some ascension level birthing enlightenment, but, like, it'll probably just be that you'll trip on something different next next time. And that's not a problem. Like, that's that's literally the mind's job is to be like like the the the primal, you know, the primal part of you is assessing your whole environment constantly when you're in labor. Right? You you know that, of course. And so that's going to happen every time you birth where a part of you is going to be like, are my kids okay? Am I okay? That's like the running backtrack. Like, am I okay to do this? Right? And then the rest of you is doing it. So I don't think that that's
Speaker 4
Yeah. That's so Yeah. That's so Good luck.
Speaker 3
Let me know. Yeah. Yeah. I will. I will.
Speaker 4
Yeah. It's so true. It's and it's so, like, nice to hear that reflection because, of course, like, of course, you can't that as you said, it's the mind's job. There's always gonna be something, whatever it is. And so, yeah, obviously, that's what it was for me at that time. We get to this point where I'm like I say, my my, my the noises that I'm making change and they change the exact same way that they changed when I was birthing, you know, in labor with Tello, and it got to the point where I was pushing. And Zac's in the other room, and he's hearing the change in the voice. And he's like, okay. Alright. And he's starting to pick Tello up to put him back in the sling to then walk out because he knows that it's getting serious. And I, as he's thinking that, I say to Haley, Haley, I can feel his head.
Speaker 1
I can
Speaker 4
feel the baby's head. And Haley kind of was like, yeah. Whatever Nat. Like, you know. And she's like, okay. And she looks down and sees that his head is crowning and screams to the at the top of her lungs, Zach. Like, try and get him to come out.
Speaker 3
Settle, Hailey.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 4
So she's like, Zach. And he, had already caught on and was running out of the bedroom. And as he's running out and, like, falls to the ground with Tello in the sling next to me, his head comes out. Like, the rest of his head comes out, and his body comes out.
Speaker 3
Did Tello stay asleep?
Speaker 4
So he was, very starry. He's he was awake
Speaker 5
at
Speaker 4
that point.
Speaker 3
Yeah. But not freaking
Speaker 4
out? No. He was very much, like, half awake, half asleep.
Speaker 3
I think That's nice.
Speaker 4
I think you've seen that photo from right after birth where they're we're all on the ground and towels in the sling. And you can see his eyes are, like, super glassy.
Speaker 3
I'm gonna look it up.
Speaker 4
But yeah. So his body comes out and Hailey actually caught him. And then she caught him from behind because I was like, Haley, get him. So, yeah, he came out and Haley handed him through me because, yeah, I was on all all fours and I kinda grabbed him and, I held him to my chest. And as he came out, like, as his head was coming out, he made this little, like, the tiniest little cry and that was it. And it was like, we all felt like it was just him letting us know that he was okay and hell. And so I came out yeah. Put him on my chest and he was just like asleep on my chest, just like breathing and just like so sweet, just asleep. And Tallow and Tello was just you know, we were just like, oh my god. You know, all the all the things, all of the emotions, and I was just like, oh my god. I did it. We did it. We did it. I think I just kept saying, like, we did it. And Tello was looking at him, and then we looked and saw that he was another little boy. And we were like, this is like you've got a baby brother. And he's like, you know, dozing off half asleep.
Speaker 3
Totally.
Speaker 4
And so we, you know, sat there, for about fifteen minutes, maybe ten minutes, and then, we moved from we had, like, a little, a mattress on the floor next to the couch set up. So I went on the mattress and, Tello Zach went and put like, finally put Tello back down to sleep. And then the three of us just sat on this mattress and they were you know, both of them were tending to me and, as we went on on in the night. So it was from like, I went into labor at two. He was born at eight forty five. And there was a point where I had said to Zach at, like, three in the afternoon, I was like, I'm gonna be holding his baby by nine o'clock tonight. And Zach did not believe me, but he was like, yep. Yep. Okay. Yeah. And so then we just hung out in the, you know, the newborn bliss bubble just in incredible experience
Speaker 3
ever. Do you remember much about your placenta?
Speaker 4
Yeah. So about an hour, maybe just over an hour after he was born, I had I was just sitting on like, lying kinda lying on the couch with Okey and, you know, he fed straight away and all that. And we had the middle bowl ready and, yeah, that after an hour, I just I looked at them and I was like, I think it wants to come out. I think I'm ready to try like, maybe just try and push. And so Zach was next to me holding Okey and we had the bowl. I just kinda, like, propped myself up, put the bowl underneath me, pushed and it came out. Mhmm. Like as soon as I said it would. And then we kept his cord attached for maybe a couple more hours. And then before we went to bed, we clamped it and cut it. And then we just went to bed as like a family of four. Like, it was just woke up the next morning and Tello looks over and he's like, baby. And we're like, yeah. Baby.
Speaker 1
Your life. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Awesome. It's just always the most, like, crazy and mundane thing all at the same time. It's so
Speaker 1
weird.
Speaker 4
That's it. That's exactly how to explain it.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So how old is the younger baby?
Speaker 4
He's eighteen months now.
Speaker 3
Okay. Yeah. And so how does it feel to be a family of four and to be this powerful,
Speaker 1
a family?
Speaker 4
Yeah. Like, that experience, like, really changed so much for us or just, like, it's it feels good. And it was such a huge like, honestly, go going from one kid to two kids, like, one kid was a breeze, and we felt it was just so natural and it didn't, like, change anything real like, it changed a lot. But, like, you know, we still traveled. We still did all these things. It didn't feel how society makes you think it's gonna feel. And then we had our second baby and, even with this, you know, euphoric birth and pregnancy, like, my postpartum was pretty wild. It was pretty full on, for a while there, especially the first eight months. And also he was born, like, two weeks before everything went mental with everything that's going on in the world. So I was just, like, in full, like, mama lioness mode. Like, how do we what do we I need to keep them safe. I need to just, you know, like, all the all of that. Like, yeah. Unnecessary anxiety as well. So it was big. It was really big. It was really big for us to go through it it all. And we just feel like at the beginning of this year that we had started we started getting things kinda down packed. And now we feel I mean, it's still wild. Every day is a fucking ride. Like, two children is just yeah. It's wild. But they're now that Oakey's, big and walking around, they're like the best of friends. They, you know, play with each other, and they keep each other occupied.
Speaker 1
But it
Speaker 3
was Living the dream.
Speaker 1
Yeah. It
Speaker 4
was definitely a big shift, though. So yeah.
Speaker 3
Awesome.
Speaker 4
But we're doing good.
Speaker 3
Well, where can women find you? You mentioned you had a YouTube channel. Why don't you tell everyone where people can find you if they wanna go see your birth video and your beautiful
Speaker 4
Yeah. Thank you. So, my Instagram both my Instagram and my YouTube is, Natalie Alaska. So just how you spell those. And I do share more on my Instagram right now about just like, you know, the kind of wild life that we're living, and I share a lot about birth because I'm very passionate about that, but about other things as well. And then, yeah, if you were to type in Natalie Alaska free birth or home birth on YouTube, you would the video would come up. You'd find my channel and yeah.
Speaker 2
Cool. Awesome.
Speaker 3
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3
And that's it for today, my sisters. Check out everything we do, including one on one and group coaching. Learn about our private membership, in person retreats, and more on free birth society dot com. Our online courses flagship course, the complete guide to free birth. Don't miss the radical birth keeper school, if you're ready to become the authentic midwife that women are searching for. Together we rise and the revolution starts inside each of us. I'll leave you with our Freebird Society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 5
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. Magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored. Eons upon light beams of survival, withstanding, the eradication of our power by design. I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging our babes. Babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons or your poison. We reject your fear. We choose love, everything with intention. Death, ascension. I will fly and bring her back to the star. Wild woman, she still lives inside. Wild woman, from you I will not hide. They could not burn
