Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm going into the wild, I am. It's been a wild freedom child, since I left my roots back home. Into the wild I'm good. Into the wild I am. It's been a while, freedom child, since I left my roots back home.
Speaker 1
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya.
Speaker 0
It's been a wild freedom change since I've left my rules back home.
Speaker 2
If you're like most of my listeners, you are devouring these episodes, fascinated by the women's stories and wondering if you could do this too. Do you wish that you had a step by step strategy for how to actually plan and manifest your free birth? Our complete guide to free birth is the number one course for free birth, and we made it for women just like you. It's a self guided online intensive course that will teach you everything we think you need to know about how to birth freely and in your power. We'll take you all the way from unpacking industrial care to what DIY prenatal care looks like, how to pick and prep your support team, what to expect, look out for, and how to shift when more support could be needed. Yes. We'll cover the what ifs, how to prevent complications, and how to orient your entire life towards a powerful birth. So head on over to free birth society courses dot com now and take the first step towards the birth of your dreams. Today on the show, we have Anna, who shares her story of saying yes to a wild pregnancy and free birth as a first time mom. Her deep rooted trust in the innate intelligence of her body allowed her to experience nearly zero fear as she brought her baby earth side in love, patience, and ease.
Speaker 3
Alright. Welcome, Anna.
Speaker 4
Hello. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I was thinking about how sweet it is that we met at a women's circle at our mutual friend's house, and she was pretty freshly pregnant. And now in that time, she's gone on to free birth and just the wheel of tell us who you are and how you came to free birth. And, you know, I love hearing women's stories when it's their first baby because that's just so hopeful to me, and I think just so many people. So, yeah, take us wherever you wanna start.
Speaker 4
Okay. I'll start at the beginning in my journey into motherhood, and that was at a very young age. I grew up with two younger sisters. I was always around children at church, babysitting, and my all my jobs and then career having child focused. One of my parents' favorite stories of me that they bring up often is this time that when my younger sister was a newborn, she was sleeping in their room, and they heard her crying. So they walk in and see three year old me laying on the bed next to her with my shirt lifted up, pushing her head. Shut up. It's okay, baby. They start cracking over like, you know, Anna. That's amazing. I thought you were gonna say just, like, patting the baby's back. No. Oh, no. It's cool. I'm trying to feed her. And then another funny memory that I have is, I think I was maybe six at the time, and I was constipated in the bathroom. And I called my mom in and asked her if God made it hard for us to go sometimes to help prepare us for childbirth. And so I was just like, no, Anna. For a mouth. That's like, that would make so much sense.
Speaker 3
That is rude. So it was just, like, in your spirit, on your mind.
Speaker 4
Absolutely. So, yeah, it's very much always been in my core. I've known that this is what I wanna do, that it was gonna be happening for me. I was actually present during my younger sister's birth, my baby sister. She's eight years younger than me. They opened up this new room in the hospital where I think it was called Family Beginnings. And so my mom had her room, and then me and my three two sisters and, both sets of our grandparents were in this living room area right outside. And so I got to hear we got to hear the whole thing. And I've I've always honored my mom for birthing all four of us, vaginally and unmedicated. And I think that definitely shaped me into knowing that women are fully capable, you know, of birthing. So Kaye, who is at the women's circle that you mentioned, she's the one who introduced me to the whole free birthing loud pregnancy world. And for that, I'm forever and ever grateful, for her. She's amazing. So, a little before that and how I ended up meeting Kaye, in twenty seventeen, my he was my fiancee at the time, but my husband, he was in chiropractic school. And he came home from class one day and was telling me about a conversation that he had had in one of his classes regarding ultrasound. He said that his professor had asked them to imagine hanging down from a railroad track, and then two, then think about the intensity that they would feel in their body if a train ran across the track, and then said that comparison is actually accurate to a baby's feeling utero during an ultrasound. So that was the first step in my eyes opening up into, the harmful effects of what I had always believed were, you know, safe and normal. So then I think it was late twenty eighteen when I met Kaye. She was a classmate of Zach's at the same school, and she would come over to adjust our three animals pretty frequently. And she came over one time shortly after announcing that she was pregnant. And I think the conversation started by I think I kind of assumed that she she just seemed like the type of woman who was gonna have a home birth. So I said is that about, you know, having a midwife or a doula? And she was like, no. And I said, like, wait. What? And so she told me about, how she was gonna be free birthing and that she was having a wild pregnancy. And I remember thinking not that she was crazy because I knew I already knew that she was this wise intelligent woman, but just this thought of birthing in your home with, you know, possibly just your partner, that that was crazy. Before she left, she told me about the podcast. And so that night, I downloaded SoundCloud, got in the shower. And when I got out, I was still in my towel and laid on my bed and just kinda, you know, sprawled out and listened. So before it was over, I I was just captivated by her story, and I've been hooked on the podcast ever since. So, you know, that was, like, late twenty eighteen, and I didn't conceive my baby until January of twenty twenty. So I've known for a while that this this is what I want. And can you
Speaker 3
can you speak more about that? Like, what about it was such a yes for you? Why not a midwife? Why not a birth center? Why not the hospital? Like, what was the yes in a wild pregnancy?
Speaker 4
I'd say that at this time, I already knew that medicine was corrupt. I had already just by knowing how overprescribed Americans were, I already could see this corruption. So I don't think that it was hard for me to then see how this corruption would trickle into obstetrics as well. And the school that Zach and Kaye went to is a very philosophical one, arguably the most philosophical one there is, and they learned all about innate intelligence. So Zach would then come home and talk to me about it, and that only deepened my trust and my knowing on how brilliant the human body is. Seeing that, you know, having that to follow through and knowing that God or, you know, whatever it is you believe in simply wouldn't design our body to be able to have, like, you know, us have ovulate, have our periods, grow this baby, and then all of a sudden freeze and no not know what to do. Right? Just having I had already had this trust in my human body. I already had such a trust in God and then just learning more about innate intelligence and, hearing these women's stories Mhmm. It it was just hard it was easy for me to connect. And I had already known that I wanted a home birth at this point. I don't know if it was sometime, you know, late in high school or early in college. That's just the choice that sounded it felt right to me. And so then listening to this podcast, it wasn't hard for me to pick up on the trend of the sabotage that was happening by the hands of trusted midwives and our doulas. So I just thought, you know, why risk it Totally. If I already have such just deep rooted trust? And I was just growing deeper and deeper by being able to connect to all these women whose stories I was listening to. I knew Kaye. I saw her on a regular basis, and I could see this works. It's working. It's all it works beautifully as the way it was designed to, as it has since the beginning of time.
Speaker 3
So how does your pregnancy go? And I'm assuming your partner is just like a total yes. And what is it like in your community and with your family? Are you telling everyone? Like, what what was the work of the pregnancy for you?
Speaker 4
I'd like to take this moment to say that I did not choose this because my husband is a chiropractor and that I'd have a medical professional present at my birth. He did not talk me into it because these are things that had been said, that we were told by other people, that people have been saying. Definitely not a thing into any woman who is listening. If your husband is a chiropractor, great. If he's a plumber, awesome. You know? Birth is birth. It freaking works. Just it it works. Yeah. So I mean, if I could have anything, I'd like my husband to
Speaker 3
be, like, a massage therapist. Right. Right.
Speaker 4
So I think it was actually when Zach and I were talking all this through after the birth, I believe that it was actually him who happened to be on board first, who knew about this first because, Kaye and her husband all Kaye's husband also goes to school with the two of them. She went to school with the two of them. So he couldn't remember if it was either her husband or her herself who told Zach that she was gonna be having a free birth, and he just thought that was the coolest thing. So he came home one day and said, you know, oh, Kaye is doing, you know, this. Is that awesome? Like, you should look into that. That'd be amazing. It's like, I I don't know. I mean, at least a doula there, I think. And this was, you know, before I'd even talked to Kaye and been introduced to the podcast. In regards to my support system, I had told my sisters that I wanted a free birth even before I was pregnant. I think that came about by following your Instagram and seeing one of your many amazing posts and sending it to them in our group chat that we have and saying, you know, just so you know, this is gonna be me someday, and I didn't receive any kickback from them. They didn't from what I remember, they didn't really say, you know, you're crazy or what are you talking about. And then I didn't tell my parents until I was pregnant. And, you know, whether it be my sisters or my parents, they had their questions, but they never made me feel like I was crazy. They never doubted me, and they never, you know, made me feel as if I was making a bad choice. I told a few of my friends, who of which were all supportive, we it was a harder time with Zach's family. His mother worked for a physician for decades and then worked for an OB for the last, I think, like, five ish years five to ten years of her career. So, you know, she had heard all these horror stories and, projected that onto us. You know, what if this? What if that? And we provided her, you know, with information and tried to give her research to back it up. But at the end of the day, she was still very supportive, never, you know, put it on us that I was making some sort of bad choice, putting our baby in danger, any of that. As far as community, we moved to Charlotte in December of twenty nineteen. So as you know, that's right before everything shut down, so I wasn't able to develop much of a community here. It was really just Zach and I, and then soon after moving here, I got a job as a nanny. So I was between work and home, really. So just really leaned on Zach and my family through FaceTime and all that stuff. But I've always acknowledged too how wonderful and how lucky I really am to have had the support that I did to not receive any kickback. I my heart has broken for so many women listening to their stories on here and just hearing you know, having to cut ties or family disowning them because of choices that they've made and their sovereignty for them themselves. It's it's really sad.
Speaker 3
So I mean, and we're seeing a whole new version of that now, right, with with everything going on and and all the forced mandates.
Speaker 4
Very disheartening. So going, you
Speaker 3
know, towards your birth, what what was the hardest part about the work of your pregnancy? Or, like, like, was it hard for you to contend with the what ifs and and the trust? And, I mean, was it just like like, how did you navigate how much to learn and yeah. Say more about that.
Speaker 4
It honestly wasn't hard for me. In all honesty, I I had zero fears. And I don't know. I just had so much trust in in pregnancy and in the divine feminine that, you know, I was kind of waiting for some fear to arise. I'm like, hey. Like, what's it gonna be? What's gonna come to me, you know, that, oh, you know, what if babies breach or, you know, what if this? And nothing ever came to me. I just listened to podcasts and listening truly listening to these women's stories gave me such confidence in hearing all different types of women all over the world and hearing, you know, them do it and hearing how it works. A week after I found out I was pregnant, I purchased your complete guide to free birth, and that was wonderful. And then I read unassisted childbirth by Laura Kaplan Chanley and Anna May's guide to child complete guide to childbirth. So I think just, you know, hearing reading all that information, hearing those stories, and, having this deep rooted trust is what really saw me through. Beautiful. You let it be easy. That's awesome. It was easy because of this trust that I have in it all and a man made intelligence. And just the fact that us as humans and mammals, we, you know, digest our food. We can heal cuts. We ovulate. We grow these babies. We, you know, grow everything, their eyeballs down to their veins and, you know, pinky toes without putting any thought into it. And our bodies are just so wise and so marvelous, and I just wish that more people would acknowledge that, you know, and witness our be able to truly honor and see our full potential as humans. You know? Okay. So on the morning of October eleventh, I woke up around eight forty in the morning, and Zach and I actually opened our eyes to each other in unison. And it was such a sweet and special moment, and I don't think that's ever happened before. And it was just so beautiful. And we both lean in to give each other a kiss, and then I got up to go to the bathroom. On my way there, I kinda froze and liquid released onto the floor, and it wasn't too much. And I just turned my head and I told Zach, and he shouted out. He's like, what? Like, how do you know? And they said, well, there's liquid on the floor, and I didn't pee. So I walk on to go to the bathroom, and he gets up to clean it up. And I turn my head to see him, like, wipe it up and then smell it. I guess just to just to clarify that, yes, that was in Canada and Pierre South. My younger sister had moved to Charlotte the month before, and she spent the night, the night before. And I told Zach, you know, don't mention anything to her. I didn't want her knowing that I was potentially in labor, and I was sure not to, you know, let it slip as well. So she left around eleven. And then around eleven thirty, I think it was, I got my first big contraction or sensation as I like to call them. So Zach made breakfast, and I just been around the home doing last minute things for the house to get it ready. So we ate, and then he left to run last minute errands, and I continued to just clean the house and do some things. I was washing dishes, and I got a piece of paper and was writing down the times. And I wasn't, like, calculating any of the times. I think I just did it out of curiosity to see, you know, because I wasn't staring at the clock by any means. But I was just curious to see, okay, when are they shortening down? Because I wanted I wasn't sure. You know? I was prepared for this to go on for three or four days, but I just wanted to make sure that, you know, Zach got home in time, you have to be to me. So it was around four thirty that I decided, okay. It's time for me to just stop and start tuning in. So I called Zach, told him to get home, and I then FaceTimed my family to tell them, okay. I think this is it. I think this is the real deal. And it's funny because I actually entered a sensation as I was on the phone with them, and so, you know, I, like, move the phone away, and when I look back, their eyes are they're just like like, say it. Say it. Like, they knew what was happening. Totally. Yeah. I at this point, I started rolling on yoga ball that I had in our living room. I made a little birth altar, so I was rolling in front of there. And Zach got home, and he started, to he came to the kitchen to start making that hydration drink, the recipe that you guys included in the course. And he popped his head in to say that he forgot the magnesium. So I told him to just call her back and have her get it because I didn't want him leaving again. So he did that, and then he came back to the kitchen to start preparing fruit for me. When he was done with that, he came into the living room. And the front wall of our living room, it's the front of the house, and it's basically all windows, and we just have some curtains up. So I wanted him to hang sheets just to make sure that no light could come in. And as he was doing that, Rebecca pulled up, and he just cracked open the door to grab the magnesium from her, but she asked for my permission to come in and give me a hug. So I let her enter, and she came over and bent down and hugged me and gave me some positive sweet words of affirmation, and then she left right after that. I think about two hours or so had passed of just riding these waves, rolling on my ball. I was married to that thing the entire time. I didn't leave it much. And then at this point, I told Zach that I wanted him to fill up the pool for me to get in. So in thinking about my birth, I had always envisioned it of having the pool in the corner of our living room. But just a few weeks before, the birth, my mom pointed out to me she say, no. Have you looked up the how much this thing weighs once it's filled with water and then once you're in it? And I was like, no. I I never thought to do that. And so we ended up just putting it in the basement because we didn't wanna risk falling through the floor in in the middle of labor. That didn't sound like a fun time to either of us. Would not happen. That would not. I don't know. This is how we we're in we are renting the house that we're in, and I don't know. It's an old house. So I was like, I'd rather just not Oh, no. So is the basement, like, nice and finished,
Speaker 3
or is it, like, scary?
Speaker 4
There's, so there's part of it that is finished, and there's a back corner that isn't finished. So it we were in the finished part of the basement. So Zach had to run the hose from the shower up here, which is luckily right next to the stairs. We had to run this hose from the shower down the stairs and then around the corner into the tub. So he had to spend a lot of time running back up and down the stairs to, like, make sure it was going and then to make sure it was I don't know.
Speaker 3
Would you say was it worth it?
Speaker 4
Yes. It was worth it. Okay. Most definitely. Yes. Yeah. He at least gets that. I'm sure he'd I mean, he got his workout in, and he got some movement in there. So he did that. And then, yeah, since I had only found out shortly before, the labor that I was going to have that put on there, I hadn't had the time or spent the time to prepare, like, how I wanted it to look. So we also hung up some wipes, and I had some affirmation cards that, my mom and sisters, close friends. And then this woman's circle that I'm in in Ashville during my blessing way, they decorate them some for me too. So he picked some and ran downstairs and hung them on the lights and got it set up. That's so cute. Chaos setting up before his face. So, yeah, when once he was ready, he he helped me down the stairs, and I got in. And it felt heavenly. It was amazing. I told him, you know, sometime when I'm out, they blow up to fill this up and just hang out and swim in here. I loved it. Totally. Yeah. And so I spent a lot of time in there, going back and forth between being on my hands and knees and rocking and then sitting back with my arms draped up and holding his hand. Mhmm. And our dog, Yogi, was always right next to the tub. I didn't know till, after the birth that Zach was taking pictures throughout. And you can always just see Yogi's, like, head or he's just, like, sitting there always checking on me, and that was really sweet. He's a sweet, sweet little pup. And so after spending decent amount of time in there, I decided that I wanted to get out in labor next to the tub. So he helped me out, and I walked around, and I asked him to go upstairs and get the yoga ball. So he brings that down and rolls up towels and puts down, those, like, bed pads around two and, roll on the ball for a while, and I don't know how long it'd been. I, you know, had stopped clicking at Cox long ago. Once I got off the phone with him, I hadn't looked at my phone again. And he looked at his checked the time here and there, he had said, but he wasn't, you know, documenting it or analyzing the time at all. So, yeah, eventually, I said I wanted to go back upstairs, and I think that was maybe around four four or so in the morning. So I came back upstairs, and I decided to try to get on the couch on my hands and knees, and that didn't turn out as comfortable as I wanted it. So I went back onto the floor, and it's been a lot of time now going back and forth between rolling on my ball and then sitting with my back against the couch. And I actually remember thinking in this moment, thank god I'm not not in the hospital because I just I couldn't think about how I could possibly have this environment, which I was feeling good in in a hospital setting. And, you know, afterwards, people ask me, like, well, did you ever think during it, you know, that you wish you're in the hospital? Like, no, quite the the exact opposite, you know, thank god I'm not in there. Just with the amount that I was wanting to move and how dark and quiet that I truly wanted it. Like I when I was in early labor, I was listening to this birth playlist that I had made. And, as it went on, I just kept on telling Zach, you know, turn it down lower and lower, and he later told me he was like, it was really hard to just be quiet for so long. Like, he kept on trying to he wanted to turn it up to, you know, have something, and he thought it'd help me. But I was like, turn it off. And it's funny because I had always thought that I would enjoy music. Like, I love listening to music. That was something that I always thought that I wanted. Much, though. Yeah. Yeah. No.
Speaker 3
I mean, you're just doing so much internal work to just track with it, but, yeah, I mean, a lot of women are surprised by how, like, overstimulating any extra stuff in the room is. Mhmm.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So the position that ended up feeling best to me was, sitting back with my back on the couch, kind of, leaning back, and I was between Zach's legs with my arms draped up on his knees. And here, I was able to sleep for what felt like maybe a minute or two at a time. Glorious. Yeah. And I just remember it was the craziest thing because I'd started to fall into a dream, and then all of a sudden, I'd be, like, jolted awake by this, you know, contraction or sensation. I was like, oh, yeah. Like, this this is where I am. This is happening. Totally. And that happened just a few times, and then I decided just I needed to move and, that position didn't feel good to me anymore. So I ended up going back to the ball in front of my little altar, and I turned my head to see a sliver of light between the wall and the sheet and towel combination. And I remember I was so mad that this light was shining through that I was able to have any sort of analysis. I'm like, damn it. Damn it. I'm like, maybe it's supposed to be here. And so I've always considered myself, and I've always been praised for being such a patient person, just with people and especially with children. I've worked with a lot of children with, like, behavioral issues where, I was getting beaten up and called every name under the sun by three and four year olds. Like and I'm always been able to just be very patient and calm, but I'd say that my birth was a whole new it really tested my knowing of what patience truly what it truly is. Yeah. And yeah. And I'm I am grateful. I'm grateful for that. I think it is for a woman, like, just a perfect introduction to motherhood. You know, like, you gotta be patient with yourself and with this child. You know? So how long was it in total? About thirty six hours.
Speaker 3
Okay. That's decent. Yeah. Yeah. That's not nothing. So you see the you see the light coming in, and that lets you know that it's been a long amount of time. And then do you have, like, a dip? Or do you ever have, like, that freak out
Speaker 4
of, like, fuck this. Like, do a tantrum or anything? No. I never threw a tantrum. But that point, I was definitely just like, you know, damn it. And at that point, I shortly after that, I was like, okay. I wanna get back into the water. As Zach, you know, he had it knew that he would have to drain some of the water and then refill with hot water. So back up and down, he was running. We had, one of the hose that does it drains it. So you didn't have to, like, you know, take it outside or or, you know, get, like, buckets to drain it. So he reheated it for me, and we went back down. And, I think around this point, he brought me some of the fruit that he had prepared. And I ate a little bit of it, but it didn't really eating just didn't really sound good to me, from then up until now. So I spent a lot of the time, on my hands and knees in the tub this time. And in this moment, I started wanting that hip pressure for him to be applying that hip pressure, and, you know, I just kept telling him, you know, harder. He's like, well, I don't wanna hurt you. I'm like, no. Like, give it to me. Like, I need it. And so he was just squeezing. His knuckles were probably white. I eventually asked him to get in with me to be able to apply it easier. So he got in, and, I think we kind of dozed off. I know that he definitely dozed off in the tub at this time while I was just, you know, rocking and, moaning and doing my work. So we actually had or I had a what's called, a virtual doula on call just for her to if I ever had any questions or concerns throughout that she was there for, me for Zach to call for me to ask. So this point, I was feeling pretty impatient, and I was just curious as to why at this point, things were starting to slow down. Like, the sensations were coming way less frequently than they happen. So I told Zach to give her a call and, like, find out what's going on. And, so he called her and she said, you know, this just happened. She had claimed that me getting back into the water for a second time probably just calm the baby down, maybe the baby is asleep, and just assured me that, you know, everything's happening as it should be. Just try to rest and, you know, things will progress as they're meant to, which I had never heard up until that. I had never heard before that being in the water puts babies to sleep. I don't know if you have, but I was like
Speaker 3
Oh, doublers say it all the time. Yeah. Yeah. I would never
Speaker 4
say that. Make sense to me. Yeah.
Speaker 3
That day. Gonna do what it needs to do. You
Speaker 4
know? Right.
Speaker 3
And, also, it's not a problem if a baby is asleep. A pro like, it doesn't mean that the labor would slow down. But regardless, I mean, at least she was positive and just told you
Speaker 0
Mhmm. It's
Speaker 3
gonna be whatever it was gonna be.
Speaker 4
Right. And, I mean, I took that with a grain of salt because that didn't sound right to me. So I stay in the water for a little bit longer. And then eventually, I said, okay. Like, I just wanna I wanna go back upstairs. So this time, I just mountain climbed my way up the stairs, and Zach is like, you know, you sure? I'm like, I've got it. I'm just mountain climbing. And, before I reached the top, he said, you know, like, how does it sound for you to go into the bedroom? Does that sound, you know, better to you? Do you think you might be more comfortable in there? And I was like, actually, yes. That sounds great. I had was planning on just going back to the living room. So I told him to go ahead of me to turn our clock around to make sure the blinds were closed. So he ran ahead, and he did that. And then when I got there, I was so, so exhausted and just drained. And I'm like, I just need sleep. I've never needed or wanted to sleep so badly in my whole life. And so I got in bed and laid on my side, and just tried to, I know I was, you know, talking to the baby and just telling baby, you know, I trust you. You are so wise. Like, you know, we've got this and just talk to baby. I'm pretty sure I, fell asleep as I was talking to a little baby. Zach had the ball in the room and was sitting on it holding my hand, and then he eventually got in bed behind me and was spooning me, and we were able to get longer stretches of sleep this time. Well, I was able to get longer stretches. I'm sure he was sleeping all through it. So, eventually, I woke up from a sensation, and I felt like I had enough energy now to get back up and, you know, keep things moving. So I first tried to be on my hands and knees on the bed and was just rocking and moaning and then put my hands up on the headboard. And I was there for a while, and Zach was behind me applying that hip pressure. And then I got onto the floor and had my hands on the bed and was rocking back and forth. And, then it clicked in me that I need to eat something for energy to get this baby earth psyched. I haven't been eating. I need I need to get some more fuel in my body to do this. And so I got back on the bed as I told him to go get me a banana, and this is one of my favorite parts of my birth story. So he walks into our room and peels the bananas so I can hold it by the skin, you know, on the bottom. And he hands it to me, and instead of, you know, taking it and eating it, I take the whole peel off and, like, toss it and put the banana next to me and just, like, grab pieces at a time. And, obviously, you know, that's causing some of it to get smashed in my hand. And why I love this part is because it points out and it will always remind me of how tuned in to my limbic system I was, like, here, eating a banana just like a primate would and, you know, never would I ever eat a banana like that again. Right? And so I love it. He's like, okay. And so I'm just getting it in every time, this as I'm eating, I just feel like all this life is coming back to me. I'm feeling all this energy. So I asked him for more of that hydration drink. So I think he needed to make a second batch now. And so he went and did that and brought it back, and I was drinking it through a straw. And by the time it like, before I even swallowed it, it touching my lips and my tongue just, like, jolted me with all of this energy. And I was like, okay. This is, like, what I need. Like, every time I swallowed something, it would cause these sensations to come. And so I just started taking, like, big chugs of it at a time, and Zach's over there, like, cheering me on. He's like, yeah. You got this. And I'm just chugging it down. So, yeah, things start really picking back up now. So I get back onto the floor, standing up with my hands on the bed. I'm rocking back and forth, just roaring, and, then get back up onto the bed again, just moving all around it. And, I'd say this was the time that was the most pivotal in my in my birth story. I felt like I was an egg cracking open and got this vision of a butterfly, like, busting out of its cocoon. And it was this, like, peculiar feeling of it happening very slowly, but with so much force, just, like, ripping open. And it was it was such a crazy feeling. I'll never forget it. And so after that, I just my knees started to kill me. I moved back onto the front of the bed now, and Zach started going around the house to look for things that would give my knees some comfort. And he first started with, this knee pad to his knee chest table, and that's a piece of his chiropractic equipment. And so I tried that first, and it's padded. So I have my knees on it, and, it just wasn't enough. So then he wraps it up in a towel, and I try again. And it just wasn't wide enough. I was wanting my knees further apart, so it was too, narrow for what I needed. So he then had the idea to go downstairs and grab a couch cushion from the basement down there. He put a towel on it, and that felt amazing. It felt so heavenly in the moment. And so I was on my knees on that with my hands up on the bed. My knees are on this couch cushion, and under my breath, I said, I can't do this. And that was the first and only time that I had any self doubt, pregnancy included. So I think that this was the part where I was in transition. And so he's applying this hip pressure. I'm swaying back and forth. And at this point, it starts to get dark, so he brings in homemade beeswax candles that I had made. And we had that and then the salt rock lamp in our room turned on. And the pairing of the two, the lighting in there was perfect. It felt like I was in this little cave with the little fire going. I love the ambiance of it. So he was applying hip pressure and then felt like he could feel he said that now it felt different. And right after that, I had entered what was the ring of fire, which really deserved really deserves that name. It was such a gnarly feeling, and, babies had decided to stay there for quite some time during a few, sensations and then went back up. So I took the time now to just stop and recenter myself. I was telling the baby, you know, I trust you. I trust you. You're wise. We've got this. I trust you. I can't wait to meet you. Can't wait to hold you. And around after this then, I had the feeling of moving my right leg up so my foot was flat on the floor so I was in this lunge. And I was just kind of rocking back and forth. And then with the next sensation, Zach said that he could then see a head and one shoulder. And then the next sensation came, and I had this instinctual feeling to then put my left leg up. And I stood up and out baby came, and Zach caught her and then passed her through me between my legs and put her up to my chest as he wrapped us in a towel, and I stared down this baby as I felt like I was just floating above the ground just so high on this pure oxytocin. And I looked at, baby's face and said, hi. I'm your mama, and held her and squeezed her. Then I started just examining the body, the fingers, the toes, and, was holding her. And then Zac asked for if I saw the sex of our baby, and I had to check because I wasn't even looking and said, you know, it's a girl. It's our Sylvia, and, her name is a namesake for my grandmother who had passed away right around the time that we were decided to call our baby. And it had been important for me or to me for her to meet at least one of her great grandchildren, but that, unfortunately, the timing is off. So, yeah, she had arrived, and he put bed pads on the bed. We got in bed, and he's laid to the right side of us. And it felt like it was no time at all that sensation started coming again. And I I remember being so mad, like, what? Is this not over yet? And so, I then realized like, trying to move around and get comfortable to ride these waves, realized how short her cord is. I couldn't hold her to my chest where I wanted her, and then I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna birth this placenta. So in that moment, I remembered Kaye's first baby being born with a short cord, so I told Zach to give her a call. And she had to, you know, get on the toilet. So Zach went and got a bowl from the kitchen, put in a toilet, and then helped me over to it. I sat down, and I thanked the placenta, and almost immediately, it popped into the bowl. So I then was trying to get up and realized that the bowl that Zach had grabbed was too big to fit into the toilet. And so our only option here was to pass Sylvia through the toilet seat, which I wasn't about to do. So I grabbed the towel and put it between my legs so I didn't drip blood all over my house, and I just went to the kitchen, got a smaller bowl, and brought it back. You did? Picked it up. Yes. What? I don't know why I didn't ask him to do it, but I was just, like, in, like, go mode, I guess. Oh my god. That's But then I bring it back and pick up the placenta with my hands, put it in the smaller bowl, and then wash my hands, and then Zach helps us back into the bed. He's like Yeah. He's like, okay. So we get in bed. I've got the placenta in the bowl to my left side, and then I'm holding her. We're wrapped in childs, and Zach's to our right, and our dog, Yogi, is at our feet. And what felt like was no time at all turned ended up being hours, then we checked out the cord, and it was white. And we Zach had built this really cute, burning box for a cord burning ceremony, but it just didn't feel right. In the moment, I didn't know with the cord being so short and the bull the placenta was taking up pretty much the whole bull. I was like, I don't know how we're gonna be able to maneuver this, and I don't wanna burn her. So he ended up just running downstairs, got yarn. We tied it. We banked the umbilical cord, banked the placenta again, and then cut it. And that was that. Continue to snuggle on bed. So cute. I love it.
Speaker 3
And so then how was your, like, initiation into mother motherhood? You know, how was breastfeeding and healing and
Speaker 4
all that? It was absolutely perfect. I found myself missing postpartum all the time, which some women might think I'm crazy. Yeah. It was amazing. So, my family and Zach's family, came down, after they knew I was in labor. So my mom stayed for about two weeks to help out me and the home. I actually lost my voice for two to three days after just from screaming and roaring. It was so long. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah, it was beautiful. I my favorite memory in is just laying in bed naked with Sylvia and having the windows open, getting this nice autumn breeze coming in, and just watching the leaves fall. It was amazing. Healing was okay. My, mom fixed my sitz baths for me and, my sisters or, she they would take turns helping me in and out, which was really sweet. The placenta, Zach cut that up for placenta smoothies, and those were amazing. Honestly, the best smoothies I've ever had. I wish I could have them, like, all the time. They were so good. That's actually, like, a master smoothie maker. And so much to the fact that, he would come on one of his lunch breaks to make my smoothies, and I guess I had left some in a cup and had walked away. And then I come back to find my mom drinking it, and she's trying to pass it off to people saying, like, you guys have gotta try this. And they're like, mom, that's Anna's placenta. She's she's they said her jaw just dropped, and she's like, what? She didn't know. No. She didn't know. Amazing. Whatever. They eat meat. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It was it was all really beautiful, and it was all even though the you know, I had said that I was ready for this labor to be days. What I had been manifesting and my, you know, dream birth was obviously shorter, but all in all, it was the most beautiful thing that I've ever experienced from, you know, pregnancy to postpartum, and I wouldn't change anything about it even if I could.
Speaker 3
I love that. I wanna hear that from more and more women. Right?
Speaker 4
Yes. Absolutely. Beautiful. Perfect. Well, thank you. Thank you for
Speaker 3
your time and for being a a voice of what's possible.
Speaker 4
Well, thank you for being a lighthouse. I have so much honor and so much respect for you, Zach and I both.
Speaker 3
Awesome.
Speaker 4
So yeah. Thank you.
Speaker 2
And that's it for today, my sisters. Check out everything we do, including one on one and group coaching. Learn about our private membership, in person retreats, and more on free birth society dot com. Our online courses are on free birth society courses dot com, including our flagship course, the complete guide to free birth. Don't miss the radical birthkeeper school, if you're ready to become the authentic midwife that women are searching for. Together we rise and the revolution starts inside each of us. I'll leave you with our Freebird Society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 5
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. Magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored, eons upon light beams of survival, withstanding the eradication of our power by design. I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging out babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons all your present. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention. Death, ascension. I will fly and bring her back from the star.
