Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm going into the wild, I am. It's been a wild freedom child, since I left my roots back home. Into the wild I'm good. Into the wild I am. It's been a while, freedom child, since I left my roots back home.
Speaker 1
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya.
Speaker 0
It's been a wild freedom change since I've left my rules back home.
Speaker 2
Imagine a land where women and girls run wild and free, where we're supported to feel, encouraged to express, and where we experience true collective healing. A place where we can play, laugh, and howl under the moon. Here, you can let your guard down and come back to the essence of wild womanhood. Your nervous system finally able to relax in the total absence of men and the total presence of sisterhood. Women call this the magic place. And as female only spaces continue to dwindle, securing land of my own for women's festivals has been a lifelong dream come to fruition. So I'm thrilled to announce and invite you to the second annual matriarch rising festival that will take place here in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, June nineteenth through the twenty fourth. This is an exclusive wild woman's summer solstice gathering, a week of dancing, nude sunbathing, communing with the elements, singing, and falling in love with what it means to be alive as a woman. Tickets are officially on sale and they will sell out, so head over to matriarch rising festival dot com for all the details and to get your ticket. Can't wait to see you there. From the jungles of Costa Rica, Luba tells us the stories of expanding and surrendering through her pregnancies and birth. We discuss birth as authentic self expression, pleasure and orgasm in pregnancy and birth, and committing to bringing forth the birth of her dreams.
Speaker 3
Alright. Luba, welcome.
Speaker 4
Hi, everybody.
Speaker 3
Thanks for joining us today from beautiful Costa Rica. Let's just get into it. Who are you? Who are you as a mother? How old are your kiddos? And just tell us your story wherever you wanna begin of your first child and and what comes of that?
Speaker 4
Sure. Sure. So I'm a wild birth keeper. I call myself here in the jungles of Costa Rica, loving mama, and I've been so blessed to have these incredible babies come through me. And both of them have been the biggest transformation and the biggest gift I've received in my life, and so I just can't wait to share my experiences and my story with you guys, because I feel like it's really important for us to claim our birth stories, and really dive into how we express ourselves as women. Let's it's so funny, it's where to begin, right? Because to me, I feel like motherhood kind of starts when you want children. That's when I feel like the conception energy starts coming, you know? And for me, I just remember seeing one time on the bottom of a coffee cup, when I intentionally put in my prayers of seeing my future while I was traveling in Peru, I saw this beautiful image of a jungle woman mama, like birthing her baby into her arms. And I just remember looking into my cup and being completely in awe of it and thinking, can I do that? Like, is that me? Like, who is this woman? Right? And like, it's since then, it's so it's been a transformation every day. It's gotten me to where I am today and I'm really grateful. And it's always been really a conscious choice for me. Especially my first. I felt like, until I said to myself, when my partner said, we are having a baby, come on spirit, here we go, like, it did not happen. And we both became open to that possibility, and she was just waiting there for me. I knew her. It felt like I knew her from, like, forever. But I also, like, saw her in, like, visions, and I sat with medicine, and she came to me beforehand, so I knew she was coming. And there was also a boy in the picture, and it was all very confusing, because for a long time, I did not want to be a mother. And then all of a sudden, this energy came in, and I saw it in my cup, and I was like, wait, that looks super awesome. Like, I want to do that. I want to be that jungle mama. And, yeah. So my partner and I, we decided to go ahead with it. And first pregnancy was so easy. I think we conceived within a couple of days from saying that.
Speaker 5
You had
Speaker 3
already in Costa Rica?
Speaker 4
Yeah. We were actually traveling. We were at Orca Island, and that day, we went to see the orcas, and we saw this beautiful mother showing her calves how to, like, be an orca, pretty much. And that's the same day we conceived. And I remember, like, during it was all so intentional, which I love about it with her. Like, I remember, like, seeing the orca's eye in meditation, in my third eye, while I was, like, creating this beautiful being with my husband, right? And the whole thing was just like, it was a fairy tale. It felt like a beautiful fairy tale, and it still does. So we conceived this beautiful child and found out it was a girl, and everything was I remember just being a little bit nervous being first time pregnant. Well, I had I went to one doctor's appointment, and then I did an ultrasound, and that's when we found out it was a girl. And at that point, it was funny, because at first I thought it was a boy, and I was really grateful afterwards to know that I'm letting in a girl spirit. To me, at that time, it felt like, okay, that's what she wanted us to know about it. That's why we had to go, you know? Because, also in Costa Rica, you have to have some sort of medical proof of pregnancy. So it was our way of being able to deal with that, as well. So it was a long choice, though, both times. I remember, like, both times, I'm like, how involved in the system do I want to get? Because really, I want to stay as far away from it as possible, yet there's this check mark that I have to go ahead and check because, you know, I've made this choice to be here. But it was good because she really wanted us to know she was a girl. I remember driving there and being like, I don't know how this is gonna go. We're just gonna see love and light in this process. I'm gonna let go of all my judgments, and just step into here, and show me what you want us to see. And if you want us to see your sex, great. And if you don't, that's okay. And, like, the first thing she does is, like, she opens her legs wide open for us on the ultrasound.
Speaker 5
She's like, I'm a girl.
Speaker 3
Did you choose ultrasound with your second kiddo?
Speaker 4
I had for the same reasons. We we did do that. So we had a doctor's note. The first time we did it, the doctor's note and the ultrasound made it so easy. And they were like, okay, we see what we need to see. Click. Right? Because we tried it without that, like, and this is, I'm going to tread this very carefully here right now. Basically, if you come in and you're just like a woman who just gave birth, either by herself or without a doctor, anyone but a doctor, the whole process becomes a lot more challenging. So you want to be able to show that not only that you had this doctor present, but also like the proof, like I said, of pregnancy. I don't know if just a test would do. The ultrasound was just, was a decision that we also made. Like, I'm not a hundred percent sure that you absolutely need it, but I know it made it easier for us. Gotcha. Let's just say that. Okay? So perhaps everything would have been cool without it, too. For us, it was also like my husband wanted to know with the second one, because he's got two girls now, and he really wanted a boy, and he's like, I just want to know if it's a boy or a girl. So the second time, we also went for that reason too, and then found out it was a boy, and like, it was, again, confirmation. So it's funny, because yes, I'm also one of those people that resist the systems as much as I can, and when it's, you know, when it's a different country and stuff, I also want to make it easeful for us to stay in the check marks
Speaker 5
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
Just so we can live here, and have the life that we have. Totally. And it sounds like For some balance.
Speaker 3
Totally. And it sounds like I mean, it wasn't just that, that you your husband was motivated to also find out before birth.
Speaker 4
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it that the whole both pregnancies to me were were very different. With with my first, like I said, it was a little bit more ears open, whereas the second, I was like, ears closed completely. But what I was, what I was telling Right, exactly. I'm like, I'm listening to me. The ears are this way because then it can hear me more. And that's the best, right? So with the first one, I was absolutely one hundred percent sure I wanted a home birth. I knew I wanted a midwife. I did not want, male energy except for my husband. And I actually had to fly her in from Hawaii to be with us, and she was, she was a midwife with us here for a month, living with us, and it was perfect. For the first time, it was all still magical. And, my baby came after like twenty hours of labor. Not all of it was intense, obviously just the last part, and I just remember just enjoying the day, putting like art and affirmations up, and turning on the music, and doing my yoga, and just loving it up, you know? And just being so conscious with every moment to, okay, how can I enjoy this? How can I relax into this? And let this, like, just all come out so beautifully. And that's what it was. At seven am, she was born, and all the monkeys were going off. The whole jungle was coming alive, and this beautiful baby comes out of me, and my midwife goes, baby, baby in the water, baby in the water. And I'm like, where, where? It's starting to just get light. And as soon as I looked down on her, her eyes come open, her heart comes up, her arms stretch out, and she like floats up from the bath into my arms. It was the most magical moment. I remember lifting her up into my heart, and just like, everything just melted away in that moment, you know. It was just so beautiful. It felt like time just felt still. And, yeah, it was it was great. We were the only ones to hold her, pretty much, for hours and hours and hours. Obviously delayed clamp. We didn't cut the cord until like hours later, when we were like finally ready to do that on our own. And the whole thing was just, it went exactly as I wanted to. I had the chocolate cake baking in the oven. I had, you know, everything just perfect. All my senses were happy. And obviously just melted away into being mother. It was so divine. And so I knew, like, after that, that changed my life. My first birth changed my life. I was like, I want to do this again. You know? Even now, too in, I'm like, I'm not sure if I feel complete in the process of birth, you know? So the second time around, it was, I was raising the question, like, okay, I want a second kid, and my husband had a little bit of hesitation, and I remember during meditation, I just had a download, and it was like, your son wants to meet you, was the message to my husband. And I came up to him, like, your son wants to meet you. And he's like, what? And next moon cycle again, we conceived when he was like a full yes again. And I remember from the beginning, like, I dreamt right before I got pregnant, probably just days before I got pregnant, I had this amazing free birth dream. And And it was just me and my husband. And all I remember was saying yes, like wholehearted, yes, yes, over and over again. Like just heart pounding with yeses. And I woke up, and I was like, I want a free birth. And I was like, wait. That means I wanna be pregnant, like, really bad. Like, it was such a huge pull to this. You know? And I woke up, and I was like, okay. That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna do a free birth. It's gonna be amazing. I'm gonna be such a yes.
Speaker 3
What was your, like, context for free birth? What had you heard about it? What did you know about it? Do you know women who had birthed without midwives?
Speaker 4
Yeah. I knew of a couple of friends that have done it, which were kind of like the portal openers. You've interviewed some of them, actually. Ashley was on the podcast with the home birth with the twins. She didn't even realize it was the twins coming out. She's actually a friend of mine here, and one of my other friends also, Sarah, that you interviewed before, she she did a free birth, and I just remember just checking into that and being like, it was mostly the dream that made me want it, to be honest. Like before I was just like, oh yeah, midlife, that was cool. And then after that, just seeing that potency and feeling that space so deep inside, I was like, it was so clear to me that's what I wanted. And that was my context to it. But I kind of fought with it for a while, because I was comfortable with the midwife, you know? My first birth went really well. Everything was perfect. And I actually, at first, I was like, talking to a midwife in the area, and I remember at one point being like, I hope she doesn't make it. I hope that it's too rainy, because it's in rainy season, or that she's not able to cross this, or, you know, there's hurdles in Costa Rica all the time. And then I just stop myself. I'm like, wait, if I'm hoping my midwife does not make it, maybe she doesn't need to be here, You know? And then it really got serious at around four or five months, where it was like, I'm just pretending if I'm gonna, you know, do this midwife thing. I'm just pretending I want that, and I don't. And I don't need to pretend, you know? I can just see a yes to what I am.
Speaker 3
Totally. I love that. That's such a big deal.
Speaker 4
Yeah. That was a big difference with my second. With my second, I felt like the whole time, he just wanted me to seek pleasure. That's really what kept coming through, like from that first dream of just being such a yes, like the pleasure behind that yes was overwhelming. You know, it captivated me to the amount that I was like, that's what I want to do. Like, that's what it's going to look like, you know? And he was just all over the pleasure. Release all, everything else. Mama, what feels good? Do that. Do more of that. Explore that. Play with that. You know? And that's what I really concentrated on with, with the entire pregnancy. It's like, what makes me feel best? How do I give myself more pleasure at this time? And obviously, sexual pleasure is there, but there's all these other senses that we can also play with, you know? So for me, in my pregnancies, I made sure that it was like a full spectrum of sensations, from, you know, smelling that birthday cake when it's in the oven. For me, that smell of the chocolate cake was amazing. For both of my births, I was like, put the cake in
Speaker 5
the oven. I'm about to push.
Speaker 4
Yes. I wanna smell that cake. Right? And it's like, it's like having my coconut water there, and having the things that I want there, you know? And the senses, and beauty, beautiful art that I've created myself, and like, powerful, powerful omens that to me, like, just symbolize our ability to do this. Because as soon as I focus on my pleasure, I know I can do it, and I can get through whatever the intensity might be. And sure, it was very intense, and the pleasure got me through.
Speaker 3
Wow. That's beautiful. Such a nice message to be able to hear. I love the image of you being, like, listen less
Speaker 4
Yes.
Speaker 3
From the outside and really tuning into that. So what would you say was the work of that second pregnancy? And, yeah, having it be I mean, your first one sounds pretty damn awesome, and I'll be a great a great midwife who also, you know, wasn't doing all this industrial prenatal care.
Speaker 4
Oh, no. Yeah. She sounds super, like, chill. Super chill.
Speaker 3
So, yeah, what was the work of that second pregnancy? Because there still is, regardless, stepping out and choosing no midwife still is a thing.
Speaker 4
A huge thing.
Speaker 5
Yeah. For
Speaker 4
sure. A huge thing. Yeah. No. For sure.
Speaker 3
Did you have your partner's, like, easy yes, or what was it what was it like? It was
Speaker 4
a process, just like everything. You know? I'm from the first one, he was, like, a complete yes to the process. He was, like, yeah. Midwife check, doula check. Okay. Support check. Great. Second one, when I was like, I just want this to be me and you, babe. And at first it just seemed like me and him. My daughter was there. That's why it changed a little bit and became something else entirely, but we'll talk more about the actual day later. But for me, like, the experience with it was for, his hesitation was more than mine. Because, you know, I was so clear this is how this is gonna go, and I felt it, and I've seen it. And within, he was like, you know, I can't imagine being your only source of support. That was really the bottom of it. And the more I sat with him about it, and I was like, listen, I don't want a midwife or a doula. I don't expect you to be those people for me. I expect you to be my husband. Half the time, I'm probably not gonna even want, gonna want you around, to be honest, because I'm gonna just wanna be doing this, and I'm gonna be wanting my space. And then I'm gonna need your help. What will I need your help with? Getting the tub set up. Getting the logistics set up. Taking care of our daughter if she's there, you know? That's what I'm gonna need you, and that's, are you willing to do that? And he's like, for sure. I was like, great. So don't imagine, like, I'm trying to have you be my midwife and my doula and all these people. Like, no. You're just you, and that's who I want there. If I wanted those other people, they'd be here, and I consciously don't want them.
Speaker 3
Totally. It's telling me men misunderstand in the beginning this notion. Means. Yeah. Of what it means and that they're we're calling the men to be, like, doctor replacements or midwife replacements, which is a really bad idea.
Speaker 4
Right. No. If you want a midwife, get a midwife, you know? Exactly. I'm so grateful for my partner for being open to it and for being able to kind of navigate through his emotions with me and talk them out, and us being able to come to this place of where is our yes together, and where we found our yes together, he was like, at least have someone that you can call in case you want some support. And I was like, okay, great. I can deal with, like, maybe I'm gonna need that. So Yolanda was my person, and she was amazing. Like, I just met her through my pregnancy, and we just chatted, and at one point, I actually did call her, and I was like, hey, my placenta is not coming out. Like, should I be worried? And she's like, no. Sometimes it takes up to twenty four hours. And I was like, what? That is crazy. I've never heard of that. And then, you know, I stood up and it fell out, and there was no problem. It was good to be able to, because again, I'm not the midwife, I'm not the doula. If I need that information, I'm going to seek it from that person. Right? So that's what, that, that was our compromise. He was like, just let your person know that you're in labor, so that they know that if anything comes up, or you need help, that they're just gonna be there. In one way or another. Whatever that feels like. And I was like, okay, you know, I can be a yes to that. So that was And Yolanda is the perfect, perfect person.
Speaker 5
She's the
Speaker 4
perfect person. She's always like, you're doing great. You, you are being you. You're an authentic you, you know, like she is just amazing. She, she always brought me so much confidence and so much, like, I felt like she really empowered me to birth through me with my unique experience, with my unique truth, you know? So that was really, really awesome. And so that was a lot of the work that I had to do, was mostly with my partner, releasing that. I didn't choose to tell everyone that I'm pre birthing. I chose a very limited amount of people that I told about what I was actually doing, because I didn't want their fear, and I didn't feel like I owed anyone an explanation of how I want to birth. So, you know, when it came up naturally, and I wanted to share out of my heart, then it would come through. And otherwise, it was just, it was my secret. Not secret, it was like my personal thing, you know, that I got to be with. And it was so, so amazing that way. And the whole pregnancy was like that, you know? I was just, I remember not listening to anything, and just being like, if I want to do this, I'm going to do that. When I want to do that, like, just no rules apply, ever, you know? And it felt so much more authentic that way, and it was so natural, and I really expressed myself and my body without being afraid. Oh, am I stretching this too much? Or am I doing that too much or too little? Or, you know, like, without that doubting dialogue, things became really clear of what
Speaker 3
I wanted to do. Imagine a freaking world where women know
Speaker 4
this. Exactly. Which is why I'm we're doing this. Right?
Speaker 3
However, women are oriented towards pleasure and self reclamation and self authority and, ugh, so good.
Speaker 4
Yeah. It was it was definitely, like, an amazing pregnancy the whole way through, and I learned so much fun stuff, that was very different with my girl and my boy. With my boy, first of all, there's something I think about having male hormones in our body, because my libido, Emilee, went like, and so, which was perfect because, you know, I was seeking the pleasure portals anyway. Right?
Speaker 5
So I was just like, let's go. Right? All of a
Speaker 4
sudden I'm like having cervix orgasms, which I didn't even know existed. And like, you know, all of, all of those beautiful hormones during pregnancy are just like there to elevate our experiences, our sexual experiences and our senses. You know, obviously the pregnancy, like you can smell from a mile away, we know things like that, but I feel like it impacts our entire body. And so seeking pleasure at that point is a really amazing thing, because all of a sudden, you've got all these extra senses down there, and so much extra energy in your boobs and everything. You're full of life, literally, right? Like, it's so easy to get off in that way. So it was really fun exploring that. And like, again, with my first, I was like, Oh my God, I can't have sex before the midwife gets here because I might go into labor. So it was the opposite, you know? So for like the month of February, we were like dry. And then my baby came in March when my midwife was there. With the second, I was like, let's get it on.
Speaker 5
Let's get it on. Let's get it on.
Speaker 4
You know, it was so awesome. And I, I, part of it I really do feel is like having that male hormones, I think, in there too, but maybe not. For me, that's what it felt like. It was also I was calling it in like every day, you know, I'm, I'm a part of a meditation group with a group of women and two circles in a row, like we sit in circle one at a time, and two circles in a row, I was just kept calling in pleasure and pregnancy and like this amazing peaceful, loving birth. And, and a lot of that, like the second intention was actually opening with love, allowing the orgasms to come. C U M. So I had like nine women meditating with me over this. Yeah.
Speaker 3
And that's the women's circle.
Speaker 4
And that's the women's circle indeed. Right? And it was beautiful. They were like a really big part of my story, actually. Like, one of the things that I chose to do was have a blessing way with Kai, and they came over, and we opened up the portal when I was at thirty seven weeks, and I was like, baby, you are, you know, you're so received here now. I am, from this point on, I'm so committed to having a home birth. Like, you know, everything is wonderful. I'm opening the portal, you know, kind of thing. And they opened the portal with me. We dug the hole for the placenta, where the staged, we like, you know, we did birth art, we did meditations, and where everyone pictured me orgasming.
Speaker 5
That's amazing, dude.
Speaker 4
You know, like, the whole nine yards. And it was, it was amazing. I, from that, from then on, I was like, let's go, baby. I'm so excited. And I remember, like, my pregnant pregnancy, like, my, what it what it means to say, like, practice my practicing. I don't want to call it Braxton Hicks. Do you have a better name for it? What do you call it? Contractions. Okay. So my practice Contractions. Let's call it that. Uh-huh. Were, like, six weeks. For six weeks, I was in that space. And I remember each one of them intentionally dropping in wherever I was, like, dropping whatever I was doing and like, sitting with my body and seeing, like, a beautiful opening flower blossoming, you know, and just taking that space and intentionally doing that every single time. And my body gave me lots
Speaker 5
of practices. Lots of practices. There was a few times that I thought
Speaker 4
I was going into practices. Lots of practices. There was a few times that I thought I was going into birth. And I remember asking Yolanda, I'm like, when do I know it's, like, actually, like, the birth? You know? And she's like, when the baby's coming out of, like, when when the baby's counting.
Speaker 5
Yeah. Like, oh. Okay. Good. Pretty much. It's so petty.
Speaker 4
Yeah. It it was really, really amazing. So the actual day, let's call it that, my actual birthday, my little girl came up to me. It was Sunday when I and randomly, she just said, Kai's gonna be born today. And I was like, okay, cool. First time she's ever said that, you know? And, and these two are like super, super connected, spiritual connected. She's been telling me she's gonna have a brother from the very beginning. Like, when I was pregnant with her, she showed me in a dream her little brother. Like, that's how spiritually connected everything was. And so she was like, Kai's gonna be born today. And I was like, okay, cool. Like, let's just go to the pool and have a horrible Sunday. And I remember just swimming and feeling just really enjoying and soaking that moment in that weightlessness of being able to just go in the water. And, and it was so incredible. And I remember feeling pretty tired that night, and I was like, you know, I'm just going to go to sleep early. So I went to bed at like eight, and I had my own room at that point, because my husband was waking up more with a little girl, so he was staying in a different room. And it was around one o'clock at night. I got up to go to the bathroom, and then I came back, and I was like, Like, I'm feeling these waves. And they're, they're pretty regular. They were like every five minutes. I was like, okay, like things, things are pretty regular, but you know, I've had a lot of practices, and sometimes they were for hours, so let's just lie down with this, you know? So I'd lay down in my meditation, and I would just remember being in this super dreamy state, where again, I just kept on singing that blossoming flower, and just keeping my body opening, opening, opening, and telling myself that. Like, it's very much like self hypnosis, hypno birth style. And I just felt myself opening each time a little bit more, and a little bit more, and it was around four a. M. Or so, four thirty, the sun started peeking out, and I was like, okay, like, let's, let's see where, where this is going. And I just really wanted to go for a little walk. I felt called to go be under the moon. So I went for a little walk, and I was like, woah. Like, things started really intensifying after that, you know?
Speaker 5
Totally. And I
Speaker 4
was like, okay. Yeah, yeah, this is happening. So that's when I messaged my, my support group. And I was like, hold me in your hearts. And, and I was like, okay, I think this is, I think this is it. So it was around, I went and I still like tried to lie down again, and it felt felt good for a little while. Just again, I just want it to be in the complete darkness. I want it to be in a cave and everything was closed. All my blackout curtains. I tried to have a candle on and I was like, no, I just want darkness. I just want to go in as deep as I can. Right. And it came to about five when I realized, okay, this is intensifying click. Like maybe you should get your husband and get that pool because you want to be birthing in the water. So I was like, okay. So I go over and I'm like super chill. And I'm like, hi, okay. This isn't an emergency. I just need you to get up and, you know, it's time to meet your son soon. Please come and help. And so my husband looks at me and he's like, well, you were so calm that I didn't think it was serious. So he actually went back to sleep. So twenty minutes later, I'm like,
Speaker 5
okay, still not an emergency, but let's go.
Speaker 4
It's time to meet your son. Like, I need your help right now. And he's like, okay. So he got up and we started blowing up the pool. I made a decision to stay actually inside the cave, my room, the blacked out cave, instead of my first we had outside.
Speaker 5
So
Speaker 4
I just felt the darkness. Everything came inside. It was perfect. My altar was right there. And I just remember watching that bath and thinking it's just not filling up fast enough for me. I was like, I'm ready to be in it now, you know? So I was kind of like trying to slow things down, just because it was happening so quickly already. And by that, I mean like, it was intensifying so quickly. And with the intensity, at first I was resisting it for like, maybe one or two waves, and then I was like, wait, that's not going to do me any good. And then right away, I called myself on it, and just like, decided to, no, that's not what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna actually open myself up to this, and I'm gonna open even more knowing how intense this is. And so, all of a sudden, I was like, I felt myself, like, just expanding more and more, and not fighting it, but instead of like surrendering to it, and being in whatever position that I needed to, I had a hammock actually that we put up. And so I was just like grinding my hips into it when it got really intense or, you know, stimulating myself with my clit. Amazing. Amazing. During contractions. Like if you need to like really step out and seek pleasure instead of like getting like, you know, kind of overwhelmed by the intensity. Like to me, that was so grounding and so pleasurable. And it just like all, all my waves were really quick. They were like probably under a minute and they stayed that way the whole time, and they were only a few minutes apart. And it was very consistent. They didn't, they didn't start out long and, you know, come closer and closer together and get longer. That wasn't the case with me. It was just always, like, five minutes apart, or a few minutes apart. It felt like five, maybe. And then for about a minute. Yeah. It was, it was super chill. It was nice. It was so nice. And so I just kept on being in that space. And then finally, like, I remember he was like, at one point he tried to pick up the guitar because I told him, I want him to like play me the guitar and I'm like, no pool, get me the pool, concentrate. And you know, again, cause he was thinking about her first and how he played me the guitar and how we had all this time limit, timelessness, you know, twenty two hour labor compared to like less than six is a big deal. So finally pool got is ready. I'm ready to jump in. Of course, I'm like, so ready to jump in. I get in the pool. As soon as like my foot touches the pool, my daughter wakes up. It was like complete synchronicity. And so I'm like, okay, you go deal with her and tell her what's happening and bring her here, if she wants Scott. And so she was excited. She was so honored that she actually got to be there and awake. Like, to her, she knew. She knew the whole time. She was like, I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. She kept telling me that. I was like, maybe not, you know? But yeah, she was there. So she woke up just like twenty minutes before the baby came out. And she comes out, and she comes running to me right away. And at this point, like, we're, you know, twenty minutes from birth, so things are so intense. And she just looks at me, and she's like, Mama, who are you yelling at? You know? And I'm like, I'm roaring like a tiger. And she's like, Oh, okay. And literally she just starts roaring with, like a tiger with me. And it was amazing. And then she goes and, you know, she kept, she did try to ask ask me questions and I'm like, Maya, I'm not here right now. Like my body's here, but I'm not really here. So, you know, I just need, I need my space right now. And she was like, okay. So she went in there. She's getting crepes ready with daddy. And then I'm finally in the tub by myself and I'm like, oh, this feels so good. And I was like, let's just check where the baby is. So I put my finger in and he's like a knuckle and a half away from completely crowning. And I was like, wow. Okay. I did not expect that to be so far along. So she's very much surprised. Cause I guess again, I was just thinking about my twenty two hour one and then she comes in cause, you know, she feels my surprise, and she comes in and she's like, are you okay? And I was like, you need to tell daddy that you guys need to come in here, because this baby's like coming out, like, very soon. So she's like, okay. So she goes along and she gets her dad, and they come, and they're having their crepes with strawberry sauce, rocking in their rocking chairs, and, like, I'm full on birthday, roaring like a tiger. You know, I remember the last wave right before he came out. It was so intense, and I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. And the only thing, like, automatically my hand just went to my clit, and again, there was that stimulation there, and I felt myself relax, and I was, and I just knew he was crowning, like, right then. That was the transition for me. And I got up, and I asked for my husband's help, and I had these amazing yoga handles, like, on the door. So I grabbed onto them, and I just bared down as hard as I could, and his head just came out. And I was like, woah. Complete surprised. And I was like, okay. Baby's head's out. And they're, like, eating breakfast, and their chest is like, what? Completely taken a bath. And so they started like poking their heads around and sure enough, baby's head's out and they're like, okay. And then I just relaxed for a couple of minutes, got on my back. And with the next wave again, got just all my energy just went down and I just felt it just like push my baby out. And there he came out and he was in the water and he was so beautiful and it was all dark. And I like, remember I was seeing him with like a little bit of glowing skin, you know, and I came up, and I held him up, and I brought him up, and he was sleeping. And I was like, at first I got scared, because I didn't realize what was happening. So I was like, So I just, my intuition said, blow in his face. Everything is fine. Just blow in his face. And I blew in his face and he started like wiggling and his toes came alive and his hands came alive. And then he gave out the cry and, you know, he cried for a few minutes. I think he was just shocked because he literally came out asleep and he was like, wow, I'm somewhere else. You know? And so there he was and he cried for about five minutes and Maya was so excited. She jumped into the tub. Cause she was waiting until he was, he came out. That's when she was allowed in. And she jumped in and she started stroking his feet and holding his hands and like rubbing his head. It was all so precious. And I gave him the boob and he lashed on and he like, he nursed for an hour and a half straight. And he was born at seven, and like, we were still in the tub an hour later. That's why I was like, what's going on with my placenta? Like, I forgot about it. You know? I'm like, oh, that's weird. So an hour later, I was like, oh, I thought it was supposed to come out by now. So that's why I gave Yolanda a little call, and she's like, you know, it's all perfect. Like you just tell it to drop. If you need to pull just tiny little bit, very gently, no one else, just you, with the tension while you're standing up. And she's like, it's probably gonna come right out, but it can take up to twenty four hours. And so that's what I did. I stood up, did like a tiny little pull, focused my energy down again, and like, right into the pull came came out the placenta. And I was
Speaker 5
like, complete! This is great! It was amazing.
Speaker 4
Like, the whole thing was so short and sweet. I felt like it did everything it wanted to do, but, like, in, like, little snippets of time. You know? And it was it was perfect. It was absolutely perfect.
Speaker 3
Sounds perfect. Mhmm. I love the image of them eating crepes in the rocking chairs. Right. It was so funny. That's the morning cartoons.
Speaker 4
Yeah. That was Monday morning. You know, it was the most blissful Monday morning, and before I did have some resistance to her being there. Like, we I was actually before I gave birth, like, I was like, Jonah, see if you can get someone to take her to preschool or something. No one was picking up their phones. You know, like, it was just like, it was not meant to be. And then, and she was so clear she wanted to be there, too. So I was like, I'm, I'm open to the possibility. I, and it was perfect. She was there at the end when she needed to be. And she got to be in the pool, and like, she is the most incredible big sister, and I feel her bond with him, part of it is like, they've had this whole spiritual journey, and she watched him come out of me, and she held him right away. And she was with him like that, you know, from both of us. And so she's got this amazing nurturing mama instincts with him. Like, she watches him at this point, like, for an hour in the morning by herself most of the time. Like, literally. I'm like, She pees up the kitchen and makes everyone's coffee.
Speaker 5
Right. I'm like, you got
Speaker 4
this kid. You got this? You know, she's, like, eating her snacks, watching him, because once he hear hears her in the morning, he's done sleeping. He's like, bring me out. We're hanging out. I'm done. And I'm like, I'm going back to sleep. My husband's asleep sleeping, and we're chill. We're like, great. You can do that. No problem. She told me she was going to do everything. She hasn't actually changed any diapers or given him any bottles at nighttime yet, but you know, let's see what happens. Do you want to share some ways that women could find you or reach out to you? It's parenting outside the box. And my whole mission right now, like, after this birth, it was very clear to me that I was meant to share this story, and support women through their conceptions, pregnancies, births, parenting, all of that, and really finding their own intuition and empowerment through it, and their own pleasure. And so I do free connection calls for women that want to connect in that way, to explore that, and I'm just really passionate about redefining our birth stories, and reclaiming it, you know? It's, it's been so rewarding, and I feel like I have such a closer bond with Kai than I ever have with any other human being. Like, of course, like the whole experience shaped that, but I feel like I feel him. Like when he needs to go to the bathroom, like I feel that. Like I see him going through birth when he poops and pees, I swear. It's like he goes through the same waves, intense and then chill, intense and chill. I'm like, it's the whole life is kind of like birth to me. And there's all these reflections in it, whether it's through your baby pooping or not. But basically, like, I feel like we can create it into whatever we want, and as long as we're creative enough to see the information out there that points us into what we want to do, and explore it for ourselves, you know? Maybe there hasn't been this picture before, you know? And creating that self portrait of what you actually want to be is, is really an empowering experience. And it's shifted everything in me. Yeah. And so now I'm just all about supporting women to create that for themselves. And I think by free birthing, we're also birthing our intuition in a deeper way. And so it's unlocking that ability to connect with them on, like, this other level. You know?
Speaker 3
That was why I never I never got, like, the nanny cam thing or anything because I wanted to see who I would be without that, which you could kind of extend to everything. Right? Like, that that was that's why I made, you know, the choices I've made in in the pregnancy or or whatever. Like, who how can we learn internal surveillance, right, instead of the, like, crutch of external is really interesting because we are, like, beings, and we're we're the most psychic with our young, you know, on every level.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So Yeah. Yeah. I love it. It's I'm so grateful. I'm really so grateful for all those experiences. And, really, you were a big part of it. I remember for me and my pregnancy, I just want to say that like, when I was like contemplating, when we were talking about, you know, that back and forthness, when I was like, can I do this? And then I remember just listening season after season and like episode after episode and being like, you know, I'm no different. I can do this. And just knowing, knowing that being like there's so many other women who have done this and, you know, and every single one of them is unique and special. Yes. Because they're themselves, but so am I.
Speaker 3
They're all just women.
Speaker 4
They're all just women. And it was just another Monday morning. And then we ate, you know, our crepes as a family, had chocolate cake, and she went off to preschool, like another Monday morning. So it's beautiful and amazing. And it's also like part of life that we're, we're supposed to be able to do this, you know? And if we're not, then there's some blocks there, and we can work through those blocks, and we can work through them in meditation, in movement, whatever that means, conversation. But that's the work, you know? That's really all the work that comes around to preparing for a free birth. It's releasing all the blocks to be able to surrender who we are, deep down in the core of it all.
Speaker 3
Yeah. To reintegrate birth into our families, into our homes. Totally.
Speaker 4
Totally. And I know for sure, now my little girl, she's gonna free birth. Like, I just know it. She's already told me. You know? And it's we leave stamps that way.
Speaker 2
Mhmm. Totally. Awesome. Thank you so much.
Speaker 4
Yeah. It was so so nice talking to you.
Speaker 2
And that's it for today, my sisters. Check out everything we do, including one on one and group coaching. Learn about our private membership, in person retreats, and more on free birth society dot com. Our online courses are on free birth society courses dot com, including our flagship course, the complete guide to free birth. Don't miss the radical birth keeper school if you're ready to become the authentic midwife that women are searching for. Together we rise and the revolution starts inside each of us. I'll leave you with our free birth society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 6
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored. Eons upon light beams of survival, withstanding the eradication of our power by design. I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging out babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons or your poison. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention, death, ascension. I will fly and bring her back to the star.
