Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm going into the wild, I am. It's been a wild freedom child, since I left my roots back home. Into the wild I'm good. Into the wild I am. It's been a while, freedom child, since I left my roots back home.
Speaker 1
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya.
Speaker 0
It's been a wild freedom
Speaker 2
change
Speaker 0
since I've left my rules back home.
Speaker 3
Hello, women. Wow, we are already at the last episode of season five. It's been an amazing season with some truly incredible women's stories. I want to speak a sincere and heartfelt thank you to all of you for your support in listening, sharing, and devouring this podcast, for supporting all the work that I and my team do here at Free Birth Society. It is felt. This podcast released five years ago, to the month, actually. I was freshly pregnant with my first child and had a vision of creating a virtual fire circle to protect, hold, speak, and keep the power stories of mothers around the world. I had no idea if anyone would come on the show or care about these stories. I remember telling my husband, if just one woman finds these stories and it inspires her to birth how she wants, this will have been a success. Fast forward to today. I sit here now pregnant with my second baby, closing out season five. Millions of downloads. A busy and truly epic virtual membership where so many real life connections, friendships, and magic is being made. Where women's businesses thrive from the sisterly support we give each other around the planet. I mean, wow. This has really grown, not only into a true community creating global change, but an actual tangible revolution. The Complete Guide to Free Birth remains the most sought after and life changing radical home birth childbirth education program. And my inbox is full of photos and stories of women who bring their children earth side, fully outside the medical paradigm, with support from all that we offer here. Free birth has become just another normal term within the birth community in a way that it was most certainly not prior to this podcast, and our graduates from the Radical Birthkeeper School are all over the world spreading this education and showing up for the families who want them. I just couldn't be more proud. I do look forward to slowing down after the festival with a long break from the school and my busy coaching practice to just be with my family, enjoy the end of my pregnancy, and work on the next big behind the scenes projects that we will be birthing in the new year. So, be sure to join my newsletter or join the membership, which is where I will dish everything first. There's so much going on in my corner of the universe. As per usual, my family and I are settling into becoming true stewards of this land here that we manifested, only a year and a half ago, in the land that is now home to the matriarch rising festival. More of our friends have moved here to our little town in western North Carolina and more are coming in this summer. Our land is busy with children and our little sweet community has several babies on the way. It does feel truly utopian. Speaking of the festival, before we are back in September with season six, I would love to meet as many of you as I can and have you experience the magic of in person, women only sisterhood. I want you to picture two hundred women dancing together under the full moon in a space of our own, sitting in circle, holding ceremony, singing around the bonfire, watching incredible performances, laughing, crying, hugging for four days straight. This year's festival is bigger and better than ever. We'll be joined by Wapio, Sister Morningstar, both elder midwives, Doctor Melissa Sell, who's been on the podcast, singer Marie Sue, and so many more incredible and wise women. So head to North Carolina because we have a few tickets left for the Summer Solstice and join us in the second annual Matriarch Rising Festival. You can go to matriarchrisingfestival dot com and snag the last few tickets before we sell out. And if you can't make it this year, I want to extend a personal invitation to come join the Freebird Society community membership. Women have called it the best place on the Internet. It definitely beats Facebook. This private online space is thriving with twelve monthly circles, including a community call by me, ongoing support, a member directory so you can find offline friends, and access to my own personal Radical Birthkeeper directory. So if you feel alone in your beliefs, your questions, your challenges, and triumphs as a woman, If you're trying to carve out a path of integrity and radical responsibility in a world that's fairly dedicated to the opposite, head over to the link in the show notes and apply to join. I would love to get to know you, and that's where I hang out. And finally, if you enjoyed this season, please rate the podcast five stars and leave a review. All of our episodes are also on YouTube, so you can subscribe there and never miss an episode. In the age of cancel culture and online trolls, your support and loyalty means the world to me. I'll be back this fall with season six. I'll be doing another forty week pregnancy wrap up with my honey, sharing my birth story, of course. And we already have some insanely inspiring stories lined up from women all over this planet. Till then, enjoy this last episode, and I can't wait to see so many of you women at the festival this summer. After an unexpected pregnancy at a young age, Molly from France describes her traumatic birth with her first daughter as a second rape. She suffered physically, mentally, and emotionally, and promised herself she'd never give birth in a hospital again. With her second pregnancy, she dreamed of a free birth. And with her third, she brought her dream to fruition. After removing herself from the spiral of medical pathology and choosing a peaceful pregnancy, she gave her family the biggest gift and birthed her daughter in total freedom. Alright. Welcome, Molly.
Speaker 4
Thanks for the invitation.
Speaker 2
I'm excited to have you here and hear your stories. So, yeah, take us to the beginning with your first little babe. What was it like? What did you learn?
Speaker 4
So my first pregnancy was nine years ago. I was a solo mom because it was a surprised baby. I gave birth one week after my twentieth birthday, and I truly wanted a home birth, but nobody told me how I was what was supposed to do to home birth. And so I gave birth at the hospital, and it made me scared because I was so scared being alone at home because I was I have nobody around me. So has no one told me how to give birth at home, which special midwife to call? I was lost, and I gave up, and I went to the hospital. It was such a traumatic birth as I felt repped for the second time of my life. I was completely dispossessed of my body. I was robbed of my birth, and I needed time to recover my body. And, the midwife broke my waters without my consent. It was really painful. I had, an epidural. A epidural was imposed, and they also failed the pose. I had a breach, but no one told me about it. This mistake left me with after effects, like, violent headache that makes me blind. And pain was so deep and intense that I thought I will die. I immediately had regrets coming here. I remember I tried to find a way to escape in my head. That's just so weird to tell that, but that's the truth.
Speaker 2
I think a lot of women can relate to that. And a lot of women behind closed doors do describe their birth as a second rape.
Speaker 4
That's so sad. It's so sad. And I found myself completely paralyzed, lying on a garbage, couldn't help but vomit because pain was so intense, and I just couldn't handle it. There was no one to help. I left helpless and abandoned. Sometimes people came to see me and they would mock me like, pains make you ugly or, they told me that I was too fat to move. I wasn't fat. I was pregnant. And I felt true rage at this time at this moment, I admit. My baby's emergence appeared when, I still was alone. As they had voluntarily put the bell away, I couldn't call them, so I had to wait. And when a midwife came in my room to take some tools in my cupboard, I told her, about my baby's head out, you know, and she pretended I was fake. I only felt the need to poo, but I insisted, and then she believed me. And at the end, I was left with eleven stitches that I had to remove because I it was so painful, and I removed them, one stitches after one stitch as soon as I came back home. Ugh. God. That is brutal. Yes. I promised myself I would never give birth at hospital again. Never. And when I met my husband, I warned him right away about this. When we conceived our first child together, I warned him once more. It was okay. I understood he understood all my reasons, but he needed to be reassured by a midwife. And I challenged him, if you find her, I'm okay. And this is how we were heading for a home birth. But inwardly, I dreamt of a free birth, and I kept seeing that the midwife would not have time to arrive. That's exactly what happened. My baby planned to throw everyone, and he let me no. She let me in on it. You know?
Speaker 2
So you already knew about free birth?
Speaker 4
Yes. And that's I knew that if, giving birth at home with a midwife is possible, Giving birth at home without a midwife is possible too. It's just it's just logic. You know? Simple as hell, maybe. I couldn't stop tell her you will not have time to arrive. You know? Please don't make efforts. You know you will not have time to arrive. And she was joking, but then she was also stressed about it, wondering herself how could I know so deeply what I tell her? And I just can't explain that. But that was perfectly like that. You know? I wouldn't change anything because that's the thing I dreamt, and that happened.
Speaker 2
So what changes for you that you're willing to have a midwife in the second one, but then not in the third one? What what changes? What's different?
Speaker 4
The fact that I dare, it's something that needs strength. And, you know, here in France, free birth is really, really not well seen. Home birth is not well seen. So people were quite quite aggressive about it when I said that I wanted to give birth at home. So it was hard to dare wishing and willing and preparing a free birth. So the only strength I had was to dream it, and I had it. When we conceived our last last daughter, it was quite romantic because it was, we were on a travel in Greece, and I was immediately attracted by a free birth because the first one was completely insane, and I knew I wouldn't give birth, differently. For me, it was the only way. So I decided to have ultrasound because at this time, I didn't know what I know today about it. And but my story will, interest you because the circumstances of the pregnancy meant that I found myself in a overmedicalized spiro with ultrasound every three weeks. Wait. Which pregnancy? The last one. Oh. Yes. Because of, certain measurements did not fit in the norm. So, the the septal cavity and the corpus callosum were a problem for the OB, but not for me or my husband, but just for the OB. So the hospital where I never came was talking about me and was you know, he really wanted, me to make some more exam and more ultrasound, and I completely was I was completely fed up about it. And, I while my relationship with my midwife was deteriorating, It was obvious for us that we will stop all the ultrasound, stop being in this spiral and just stay at home in rebirth and waiting, in a peaceful way. You know? It was during the the corona when it was forbidden for us in France to go outside. So we only, go out of the home only to make ultrasounds, and it was completely insane because I didn't want them. But I was I was so forced to make them. I mean, every time I took the phone to to to say, I won't come, people on the phone were completely fed up and angry and quite aggressive. And so I accepted to go there only for peace, hoping it will be the last time. But after that, went another ultrasound and after and after. I was so tired, really tired. And it was hard, you know, because our position never changed. We never wanted to make some other ultrasound, and we weren't we weren't stressed about this measurement. You know? For us, our baby was okay because I felt so. I deeply felt so. And my husband expressed the wish to protect us, to preserve us also, and to give birth at home in a restricted committee without midwife. It was a dream when we said that because we we were wishing the same thing. And so I found the strength to stop it all, to go them, to, you know, put them away or with, this exam and this, all the mean words they could tell me just to find peace and to try to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy until the end. I refused all subsequent ultrasound held in my bubble and waited for baby to decide to be born, not even giving myself a time limit on whether or not it would be overdue. And that was the opposite of tiring. It was a rest, a true rest. And I love this part of of the pregnancy, and that's how that's how I came to see by now that one day, if I myself pregnant again, I will not have any ultrasound or anything like that because I want a a restful pregnancy.
Speaker 2
So at what point do you stop going in and just stay home and prepare?
Speaker 4
The last trimester. Yes. The last trimester. Stressful. Yes. Completely. And, you know, I didn't have the choice of the OB because, the midwife told me that, oh, I know someone. You will have a quick appointment. You know? You will not have to wait. Okay. Why not? And the man was completely crazy. He just wanted he just yes. He wanted, and he tried to force us to make the pregnancy end. Because in France, there is a law that says that if the baby is not viable, you can stop the pregnancy even if it's two hours before the birth. But once he's born, you just can kill him. So before, yes. But after, no. And I found this little cruel, brutal. And even if I respect the people who who makes that decision, I just can and will never do it, choose it in my life.
Speaker 2
But, also, your baby was fine?
Speaker 4
Oh, she completely fine. She's, on fire every day and also every night. Don't worry about her. It's full of lights.
Speaker 0
Wow.
Speaker 4
One of my sisters were was there with a photographer, and we simply did it. My baby and I did it. It the most simply, sovereign, free, autonomous, and transcendent way possible. It was a victory because my instinct was right, and it it triumphed. My baby was completely perfect and healthy. And so today, I I knew that their anxieties were not mine, and I decided not to have my piece stolen. And I held firm to my position even though I was told I might lose my baby because they don't have a crystal ball to read the future or, I don't know, they are neither god or nor gods. You know? Sometimes they say things like they could discover discover the future, but it's it's just driving me crazy, and I don't want to believe in that words that words. No one can imagine the confidence I earned, the satisfaction of this ecstatic birth, the pride that I felt, and that I expressed openly because I still I'm still pride proud of it. Yes. It was so good. I could do it every year. So it was in the night.
Speaker 3
I
Speaker 4
I was sleeping, and then I felt something in my back and a warm something warm. And I told myself, I know this sensation. That's the day. I tried to wake up my husband, but he was, sleeping too well. So I I went to tell my sister that it was the day, and she felt completely excited about it. And this exit her excitation went to alert my husband. And it was like a quick celebration of this moment because we knew that was the day, and it's the part of, yes, a celebration, party time. But you know that things are going crazy after, but now the only thing you have to to do is to celebrate. Yes. Baby is coming. And I love this part of the birth. And we call our photographer. She went home, and I don't know. I, you know, I I was completely lost in my body and lost in what I felt. I don't know the hour. I don't know anything. I was here, but I was in another place of the world, I guess. And the time, it went really intense. My daughters were awake, and they knew they learned it was the day. So it was for her party time, but it was for me, the last round of the birth. And it gave me strength at this time because I knew it was a short time before holding my baby in my arms. So I had just before my baby's emergence, I had one hour of pure sleeping. I was sleeping. It nothing happened, and everybody is in the room. We're sleeping. The photographer, my husband, my sister, we were on the same we were acting the same. It was completely crazy. And when I wake up, I was fully alert, and I knew that was the moment. So I'm from the sofa to being in horizontal position, it was a blink of the eye time, and I just couldn't speak because it was really intense. And my husband told me, what can I do? What can I do? And I just couldn't help her. And the photographer told him, just put, a blanket upon her knees. And he did so. And the second when the time where he did so, the baby just went in a blink of a eye, truly. And she was in the higher part of my stomach, and next second, she was fully born. Yeah. I hadn't time to not even push, not even breathe, anything. Wow. It one second. It was completely crazy. She, yes, she she jumped. I I I don't appreciate saying that she was born, by falling, but, yes, she dreamt in her life. Wow. That's crazy. I took her in my arms, and I put her upon my my breast. And I told myself, damn. It was so intense, but I did it. And I just looked at her, and I found her completely wonderful. And she was not peaceful because she was crying, but, yes, I found her peacefully strong. It's hard to explain, but I fell in love. And and, yes, we needed time to it was full of emotions. And few minute after, we altogether discovered she was a a a girl. And it was insane because it was a surprise. And that's the third, and what grace. We feel we felt so blessed. Yes. We cried a lot. I cried the the most, but it was so good. Feels good. Oh, yes.
Speaker 2
Yeah. I feel like I'm there. It's beautiful.
Speaker 4
Wow. Sounds perfect. Yes. I have to admit that my husband, my daughters, and I also, of course, just cannot conceive giving birth in a different way. It's like all all of the potential members of our family has to come in a free birth way at our home, in the middle of our family. It's just pure sense. It's the way I mean, how can I conceive the giving birth differently? I don't know. It's just impossible. I'm aware that I have sown seeds in the heads and in the hearts of my daughters, of the people around me, that there is something else to live for. And I truly believe it. I mean, free birth is not common, but it's it's the way that God has designed birth. And it's like we were surprised about it, but because we have forgotten how how birth is truly. And I I think people, think that I'm crazy, but now I know that there are, in fact. You know? I'm not crazy. It's the way that we give birth in our society that is completely crazy. It's I dare to say it in a sick sick way, sickness way. Yeah, it's a family event, an extraordinary, moment that occurs in the ordinary everyday life. It's simple, but completely magic, and I love this ambivalence. You know? Yes. Birth is supposed to be spontaneous, easy, intense, but highly satisfying and beneficial, liberating, free. And the way we give birth today is just the opposite.
Speaker 2
The way you and I give birth is exactly that. Yes. You know? Like, in our community, this is this is the common way. This is the most common way.
Speaker 4
Yes. And it is powerful for the mother, a woman, the father, a man. It's powerful for the baby, for the siblings, and the family in in general. It's yes. It's a family event, and we lost this in our society. Among all memories that we have as a family and as a couple, these free birth are the most precious and and deliver. Yes. Wonderful. It they sealed something in the history of our family, in the depth, yes, depth of a couple. And my husband cried during, ten days, couldn't help but thanking me for the way I gave birth because for him, it was a present. And he said to me, it's something that I couldn't live if you didn't dare, and it's something that all of the men around me would probably never live, and I feel really blessed. I feel like one in a million. And I feel so proud because I, yes, it lived something that so many people doesn't live Mhmm. Sadly. Beautiful. I wish I could give birth now. I'm currently a a birth junkie, I admit.
Speaker 2
Well, it's in it's in alignment with life. You know? Like, birth is supposed to leave us wanting to do it again. It's in the biological design. Right? Completely. Completely. Yeah.
Speaker 4
May I have eleven children?
Speaker 2
Maybe.
Speaker 4
No. No. No. I need to sleep.
Speaker 2
You can sleep in your forties. I love picturing your daughters there and finding out that you have another girl, and I love how it feels in my head.
Speaker 4
That's that's true. That's, a really deep moment. Mhmm. And and we are all together, and all these moments became strength because they made our bonds even stronger and and have deepened the harmony of our daily lives. Yes. It's like that. There is a a before and there is an after. And that's, so sweet taste that I haven't taste before. And today, I still have these dates on my mouth and on my heart, and I just can't help being full of gratitude about it. Tonight, I will ask my husband to make the fourth. I want I want another baby.
Speaker 2
Oh my god. It's hilarious. Oh, it's awesome. Cool. Do it. Well, if there's women that want to find you and if there's women, you know, particularly in France that want to do coaching with you or get support from you, how can everyone find you?
Speaker 4
On Instagram. And I know you don't understand because I said it in French, but in French is really clearly said.
Speaker 2
Great. It's awesome. Yes.
Speaker 4
And I have a great mentor, you, so I will have a great Instagram too. See. A great feed.
Speaker 2
And website.
Speaker 4
A great feed and a great website and a a wonderful link tree.
Speaker 2
Yep. And you'll have all your opt ins and all your freebies and
Speaker 4
Yes. Thanks to you, Emilee. Thanks to you.
Speaker 2
Awesome. Well, thank you so much.
Speaker 4
Thank you, Emilee, for the invitation. It's just a huge honor, and I'm really pleased to be here.
Speaker 3
And that's it for today, my sisters. Check out everything ship course, the complete guide to free birth. Don't miss the radical birth keeper school if you're ready to become the authentic midwife that women are searching for. Together we rise and the revolution starts inside each of us. I'll leave you with our Freebird Society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 5
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored. Eons upon light beams of survival, withstanding the eradication of our power by design. I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging our babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons all your poison. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention. Death, ascension. I will fly and bring her back to the star.
