Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm
Speaker 1
going
Speaker 0
into the wild, I am. It's been a wild freedom child, since I left my roots back home. Into the wild I'm good. Into the wild I am. It's been a while, freedom child, since I left my roots back home.
Speaker 2
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya.
Speaker 0
It's been a wild freedom
Speaker 1
change since
Speaker 0
I've left my rules back home.
Speaker 3
Happy, happy New Year, women. We are kicking off twenty twenty four with a super fun episode. Free birthing sisters are on the show today. Before we get going, what do we have going on this month? Oh my gosh. This might be the biggest month of our year. Okay. We've got final sign ups for midwife within. Our retreat registration technically was supposed to close with December, and there is literally one spot left before we're sold out. And I know that one of you are going to grab it, so here's your push. Matriarch rising festival dot com slash midwife within. Join us in May for the most life changing retreat with me and elder midwife, sister Morningstar. This is a total once in a lifetime opportunity. An incredible group of women have enrolled. So many of them are pregnant. Oh my gosh. What a dream come true. I cannot wait. Matriarch rising festival dot com slash midwife within. Take the last spot. Also, tickets for Matriarch Rising Festival go on sale January eleventh, and you know those add ons go fast like glamping and the toddler tickets. So do not wait around and get on that. Go to matriarch rising festival dot com. Drop your name on the newsletter to be the first to hear when tickets go live, and get your ticket, and I will see you this summer. Lastly, our big three day event is coming up, the Initiated Woman. If you haven't grabbed your spot for that, please do join us. It's going to be so good, and it's totally free. Doors open for the Blood Mysteries School later this month. I believe it's on the twenty third of January. We have updated the program. I am teaching this time around. It's just better than ever. I'm freaking jazzed about the Blood Mysteries School. You can join that wait list to learn more at free birth society dot com slash b m s wait list, and I will drop in the show notes the link to opt in for the initiated woman so you can join us for that. Oh my gosh. What exciting events. I'm so pumped about this year. I am feeling that New Year energy, and I hope you are too. So today, Sophie and Julia, adorable free birthing sisters and musicians from New Zealand, are on the show today sharing their birth stories and journeys into motherhood. I had received an email from them expressing their gratitude for the podcast, how it had changed their lives, and sending me some songs that were inspired by me or Free Birth Society and all of the work we do here. So, of course, I had to have them on the show. Both sisters are Rh negative and did not get the RhoGAM shot. They free birthed healthy babies into the world, of course. Together, they share their stories full of wisdom and laughs and insights, all about shedding fears, the power of words, and how free birth has influenced their music. So be sure and listen all the way to the end as they bless us with their sweet voices in a beautiful song inspired by the transformation of free birth and the profound impact it has had on their lives. This is a super fun episode. Enjoy, and happy New Year. Alright. Sophie and Julia, welcome.
Speaker 4
Thank you, Kimberly. Yay. Thanks, Javier.
Speaker 3
Well, this might be the cutest episode that I've ever recorded. And, yeah, this is just so cute. I got an email right from you two with just an adorable quick little story about your music and about, you know, being inspired and and free birthing. And then I went on to listen to a bunch of your music. I love it. And yeah, so I was like, well, obviously, get these women on the podcast. So who are you? And tell me a little bit about both of you.
Speaker 4
Sure. Well, I'm Sophie, and I'm, Julia's sister. And we're, moms and musicians. And, yeah, we've been, making music together and releasing it and playing shows for like five or six years now. And, yeah, it's been a beautiful journey and we're going strong. And yeah, since we found Freebird Society, it's affected a lot of things in our life, I feel like, and then, our music as well. And just, yeah, it's been really beautiful. And yeah, that's why we reached out because we're so grateful for the effect that it's had on our lives and our family's lives as well. Thank you.
Speaker 1
Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Freebird Society. Well, I I found Freebird Society. And I was pregnant with my first son and, really wanted a free birth. But I just have had so much pressure from family members. You know, it's your first child. You don't know what you're doing. Read all these books of what to expect, you know. And she'd go to the hospital. But, yeah. I really wanted to be with with my first son. But, it didn't. I ended up getting a midwife. And, the first midwife I had, she, was very meta to like she hadn't even had children herself. She just graduated. And I did the scan. It's a twenty week scan. And she was like, oh, did they tell you about your son's umbilical cord? And they said that he was still a single umbilical artery. And, she was like, so we're gonna have to monitor his growth, you know. Gonna have to do regular checks. And that really didn't sit well with me, so I I broke up with her. And I I was really set on pre birthing. But, yeah, too much pressure from family. So for their sake I got a, midwife. Yeah. And, luckily she was as grassroots as you can in the medical system. She listened to all my nose and, but, yeah. So my first birth was with a midwife and then Sophie. Yeah. Yeah. She, she
Speaker 4
And didn't they also just one thing, when you had that scan and the thing with the umbilical cord, they also just told you that he might not make it
Speaker 1
Yeah. This is at
Speaker 4
a certain point. Of course.
Speaker 3
So we got a little bit about Julia, but then so you said your first son. So then did you go on to free birth, a next child?
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 3
Okay. Cool. So we'll get into that story in a minute. Cool. And then, Sophie, contextualize your story a bit for us.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So I hadn't really thought about having children much of birth. I hadn't really been yeah. Just hadn't been in my mind much, but then, so when Julia became pregnant, it became more. And then meeting Taurus, my nephew was
Speaker 1
like, wow.
Speaker 4
It was such a huge thing. And then I just pretty much got obsessed with listening to bad stories and getting so excited. And my partner and I, really wanted to do it to have a baby, and we decided to leave the city. And it was a time when things were getting crazy and everyone was wearing masks and stuff. So we just got out just in time, really. And also at the same time, our band sort of broke up because of all the politics and, and it was actually a blessing in disguise because we're now on a we had, like, nine people in the band before, and now we're down to four. And it's just way less people, you know, involved, and it's much more true to our envision. And
Speaker 3
voice. The politics around COVID?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3
They were like, we're covering our mouths on stage.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Pretty much.
Speaker 3
Some of that. Yeah.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So, it was cool. Lots of life changes happening. And then, yeah, we called in our baby, and I had beautiful free birth with this for for my sister.
Speaker 3
Aw. Yeah.
Speaker 4
She's eight months old now.
Speaker 3
Okay. So she's your first?
Speaker 1
Yep. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Okay. So cute. This is really quite a wonderful story. What a special family you both have.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So grateful.
Speaker 3
Do you women have other siblings?
Speaker 1
No.
Speaker 3
It's just the two of you. Yeah. And you're these, like, bestie, free birthing musicians. I can't handle it. What are your parents like?
Speaker 1
Oh my
Speaker 4
god. Mom's really, on the buzz and dad is too in a different way. Like I remember getting towards the end of my pregnancy and dad was like, have you had any x rays or scans or anything?
Speaker 1
And I
Speaker 4
was like, no. And he just laughs. Like he's not too, you know, they're both super chill.
Speaker 3
Well, I hope about having X rays. Yeah. That's very old school. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. He is. Okay. And how close are your parents to you guys geographically? Are they in the same town?
Speaker 4
Yeah. Mom is most of the time. She lives in her camper and just is always there to help, which she's so grateful for. Yeah. Yeah. And dad's, he visits regularly.
Speaker 1
So
Speaker 4
But mom's always there.
Speaker 3
So Julia births first, and then Sophie has the first free birth, and then Julia has the second free birth.
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 3
Okay. Let's tell the stories in that in that order then. Cool. And I wanna hear about your music and how, how all of this has influenced your creative outlets as well. So let's start with Julia and whatever more you wanna share. You said it was with a pretty cool midwife in the system. Tell us your birth story.
Speaker 1
Okay. So okay. Yeah. So it was full moon. The wave started happening. There were I invited, my mom, my mother-in-law, my partner, and the midwife to the birth space. I set up everything, you know, to be perfect. And, yeah, it was about twelve hours. I called it a labor back then, so I blessed it as a labor. So therefore, it was very hard. It was excruciating. And I, Wait. Wait. What do you call it now? Sacred birth ceremony.
Speaker 3
Okay.
Speaker 1
Because I feel like with our words, we are creating what will happen. You know? And, like, why have we been calling it labor? It's seriously sabotaging your experience as women. You know? That's like what you do outside. Hard yakka. You know? And so this experience was very excruciating. I was looking outside of myself, you know, oh, help me. You know? But I was really held by the woman there, which I, yeah, I will always look back on and be grateful for that. And, Yeah. It was a beautiful experience. Twelve hours. Yeah. I came out, and I feel like, listening to people through the other whole pregnancy, you know, telling them what I needed to do and listening, looking out for them during my, birthing experience. Then into motherhood, you're like, you carry that for that first time. What do I do? You're always looking out rather than I wasn't trusting inside. You know? But that was that. And then, oh, and forgot to mention, I am Rh negative, and I didn't have any of the shots either. Don't know about you. Yeah. And, yeah, then I got pregnant again maybe a year and a bit later and lost that baby. And it was in the same amount of time where, Sophie then got pregnant with her baby. So that was, like, such a funny time. It was, like, double ended sword, like, grieving, but so happy for my sister. And it just wasn't the right time. Her body wasn't ready, obviously. Yeah. And then I'd love
Speaker 3
to hear you say a little bit more about why you chose not to get the RhoGAM shot.
Speaker 1
So, I got I had a abortion when I was twenty one or something, and I, just listening to what the doctor said. He said to me, it's because you come from for aliens. A doctor literally said that that you need to get this shot so that your body doesn't kill your next baby. And so I'm like, okay.
Speaker 3
Was he trying to be funny? No. Okay.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Some serious medical advice there. Wow.
Speaker 3
Oh, yeah. Like, he's probably right.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Oh gosh. So yeah. And then I did, a few years later, Sophie sent me something on Reddit about all these women who had had, r h or the anti d shot and about their immune system and how it had been completely, rocked. And I do looking back, I noticed after that, you know, it was a tough time. So, yeah, when it came to that,
Speaker 3
So did you get it after the abortion?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Gotcha.
Speaker 3
So you did get it the first time?
Speaker 1
Yep. And I had no idea what was in it. You know, that it was plasma, pig plasma or something. Someone else's blood. So yeah. So then I had Taurus, and I didn't get it after that. And then I had the miscarriage, and I didn't have it. And people were like, oh, you should be having that, you know. That's why you lost your baby. And then yeah. Should
Speaker 4
we talk about your postpartum at all? Or Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1
Postpartum. First postpartum was very lonely. You know, I didn't set up that support. I was so focused on the birth. But I had my mom and family, you know. Really grateful, but, yeah, I've noticed how important it is to feel held and looked after in postpartum, you know. Our Moroccan sisters, they're getting massages every day, and I think our culture's really lacking that. But yeah. So then one day I was breastfeeding my son, and I don't usually get, like, visions or anything, but there was this this, like, violet light on my third eye. I was like, oh, someone's there. And so I had a look, and it was this little girl. And he, I was like, oh my god. This is my daughter. And so she came into my womb, I don't know, it was a few months after that. And, this time, I was like, I'm not letting anyone up with anything. I'm not this is my time, you know. I knew I wanted to breathe alone. No one in the room. I So
Speaker 3
Just Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We have fleshed out so much of what you just said.
Speaker 1
So Yeah.
Speaker 3
If you said I heard you just say something like, you know, this time, I'm not gonna let anyone fuck with anything.
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 3
But what did they fuck with in your first birth?
Speaker 1
Well, I feel like everyone that had birthed, like, say, my dear mother-in-law and family like that, they were like, oh, you go to a person in the hospital. You know? You gotta have a midwife. No. You gotta have have a midwife and, just like you
Speaker 3
at the hospital?
Speaker 1
Oh, no.
Speaker 4
No. I was at home, but, like
Speaker 3
Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1
She was like, you you know, you might have to go to the hospital. And I was just like, no. You know? There was all that chatter, you know, that I didn't wanna hear. And I knew in the beginning, you know, I just wanted to run off in the bush and have my baby, but I did I had a midwife for other people, you know, not necessarily for myself. Yeah. So that's what I mean.
Speaker 3
Okay. Just fine. Yeah. How aware were you? First, when did free birth enter your consciousness, and when did you align with that choice? And how how did you know that that was the choice for you?
Speaker 1
So I first found you guys in my first pregnancy after all that single, umbilical article, artery carryout. And, yeah, it just rang so true. You know? It's so deep in us. It's what our ancestors have done. And so it just felt so right, you know? And so this time, yeah.
Speaker 4
And can I say something? Because I remember, Julia saying to me, like, that she wanted to not have a midwife for her birth, for that first birth. And I remember talking to mom after that and being like, Julia wants a birth without a midwife. Like, she needs to have a midwife. Like, the, you know, the, like, the fear just thinking it was so dangerous. Mhmm. And so
Speaker 1
just out conditioning really. So conditioned.
Speaker 3
And then five seconds later, you're like, I'm gonna actually do it first. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah. And it was just like how the baby's made. You know? You don't want people watching you, making love. That's gonna change the vibration. And throughout this, pregnancy with my daughter, like, I even I'd spend time alone and get into that zone. And then, say, my partner would walk in, and the energy would just totally change. And I knew that that's why I wanted to be alone, you know, so I could really go within without any eyes, feeling those eyes. You know?
Speaker 3
So did you have language in your daughter's pregnancy for how you had outsourced in your first birth?
Speaker 1
What do you mean by that?
Speaker 3
Remember how you were saying, like, looking outside of yourself? Did were you already aware that you had done that by the time you were pregnant, and so you were already interested in what it would be like to not do that?
Speaker 1
Totally. Yeah. Because I also, like, was going for the pain free, blissful. And I experienced that. And, you know, I listened to your podcast with Yolandi. Is that how you say it now? Yeah. And I saw her book was coming out, and I was like, right. I'm not gonna buy that book until I experience this, and I know this true for myself. And I can say sisters, it's true. And, yeah. And so I listened to her, your podcast together, and I told my partner about it. I was like, this lady, you know, she's had ten kids. And she's he's like, well, she has had ten kids. You know? She might be at and I'm like, no. I don't no. And it's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4
And I feel like that book, Florence Scoble Oh, yeah. The affected things quite a bit. I do you want to say about that?
Speaker 1
Florence Global Shin. I don't know how to say that.
Speaker 4
It's, the Your Word is Your Wand and, The Game of Life and How to Play It. Those books, yeah, Julie got really into during her pregnancy. So
Speaker 1
Yeah. And, every day, I'd catch myself thinking my labor. I'm like, stop saying that. Like, don't even on the day of the birth, I was saying labor. I'm like, oh my gosh. It's so deeply ingrained. You know? I'm not having a labor. I'm having a sacred birth ceremony. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Alright. Well okay. Let's let's go chronologically. So now we're gonna hop over, and we're gonna go to Sophie. And so she's now had the first birth. And Mhmm. When does she bring free birth society into your consciousness? And how does it happen for you that you go from, oh my god, mom. She's gonna she has to have a midwife to how much time to being like, this is totally what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 4
Yeah. I, well, the the time of me thinking she has to have a midwife and saying that was, I think, towards the beginning of her pregnancy with his son. And then towards the end, I can remember she was quite big. That's when we were listening to Freebird Society together and with our mom as well. And, yeah. So it didn't take me long to be like, okay. Like, yeah, realize it's just like a big scam, you know? Me too. And, yeah. So Julia had birthed Taurus, and I came and met them, well, Tara and Taurus, I mean by them, both of them, about a week after Taurus was born. And I really had no like, looking back, I had no idea of, like, how important and special postpartum and healing that it can and should be. So I was sort of there as a visit like, visiting for a few days, and then I had to go again and look back and, like, oh, that like, could have been such a way more of a sister then, but hey, that's in the past, you know.
Speaker 1
Yeah. We didn't know.
Speaker 4
And so, yeah, it was just life changing. Like, I could feel my heart, like, ripping open, meeting him. And, yeah. And then I was like,
Speaker 1
oh, no. I need to have a lady, like,
Speaker 4
as soon as I smelled him. So, yeah, we, we left the city. My partner and I moved up here to Taranaki, which is a nice rural, surf town region. And and then How
Speaker 3
how close do you two live to each other now?
Speaker 4
We've just last week, I moved ten minutes away, but for the last year and a bit, we've been right next door to each other. My
Speaker 1
life has been really cool. So helpful.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So, we moved here, and and then after a few months of settling in, was like, okay. We're ready to call this baby in and started sort of, you know, praying a little bit to her and or whoever. We didn't know it was a girl at the time. I I I knew, but I didn't wanna say, you know, in case of being wrong or something like not fully trusting my my inkling. But, yeah, started to invite her to come in, and she didn't come straight away. And I was definitely, like, having, like, thoughts of my, oh, why? You know, like, you know, it's I definitely, it's it is a a little bit of a hard time just fully trusting when you really want it so bad.
Speaker 3
Well, you don't you don't know till you know. Right? Yeah. I think we're, you know, we're we're groomed into suspecting that we're broken versus being groomed into knowing that we are fertile, vital
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 3
You know, radiant.
Speaker 4
Yeah. And everything's just divine timing. Yeah. We are fertile again.
Speaker 3
So, so were you already, like, I'm in a free birth?
Speaker 4
Yeah. I was already, before, moving up here, I'd gone and worked on a kiwi fruit orchard for three months, and I just listened to free birth society for, like, the whole day every day and all the podcasts and was just, like, blown away by the just the there's such a facade, I guess, that we're that if you're not, like, without the Phoebus Society podcast, you're not aware of of birth. And and I didn't didn't know that many people that had given birth, like, not that many friends. So it was just so interesting to learn about. It's just yeah. It felt and it, also opened up. I feel like so much interest in other parts of just being a woman and being healthy and, yeah, sovereign. So, yeah, that was cool. Started trying to get pregnant and it didn't happen. And then, there was a big protest that I was at against all the mandate stuff, and it was intense and there was, like, violence and police brutality. And so I came home after that feeling quite traumatized and being like, oh, that's why she hasn't come yet because she didn't wanna be it during that. And, like, my trust all came back. And then the next month, there's a baby in my womb. And so, it was really exciting times. And I did a pregnancy test just because I wanted to. It was fun. And, I called Neil to have a look at it, and he came and we had a moment. And then we both walked away, and he walked outside, and I walked through the house. And these geese, because we have a lake across the road, and these geese just at that moment just glided, like, in this beautiful perfect formation over. And then every time during my pregnancy, when I'd have, like, doubts or, you know, things come up, I just remember the geese and everything's okay. So that was nice. Had a really beautiful pregnancy, and Julia was living next door. I think she moved, in, with just a couple of weeks after we'd found out. So it was cool and I I was feeling, pretty lazy at the beginning and I'd just go and lie on her couch. It was so nice to just have company.
Speaker 3
And did you choose to have a wild pregnancy?
Speaker 4
Yeah. Yeah. It definitely doesn't
Speaker 3
Tell me about that because that's, like, a really big deal. That's really edgy. That's very radical. Mhmm. That's you know, it's not something your sis chose yet. Right? So, like, just tell me more about your
Speaker 4
choice. I did actually have, I had one call with a midwife at the when I first found out just because I was like, is there anything I need to know? Like, you know, but she had stopped practicing and handed in her midwifery license because of the mandates that you have to be vaccinated to be a midwife. So I just talked to her and that just really solidified in me. Like, I don't I don't need anyone because she pretty much just said, yeah, you don't need anyone. Like, you can just do it yourself. And also said a few, like, suggested a few things that I was like, knew that that didn't feel right for me. Just little things, but it just made me realize no one knows what's right for me apart from me. And so that was cool. Like, that's what I got out of that call. And Well
Speaker 3
and, like, certainly not a stranger. Like, your sister might be able to help you
Speaker 1
Yeah.
Speaker 3
In a way that's in deep alignment with who you are because she knows you. Right? But this idea that a
Speaker 4
good stranger.
Speaker 3
Stranger can give you, like, generalized advice is cuckoo.
Speaker 4
Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. It's really crazy. Like, you go and get a electronic or a mechanic to work on your car. It's like we pretty much do you know, that's expected of us to do when we get pregnant too. Just
Speaker 3
get some
Speaker 4
random little robots. Yeah. But yeah, so I decided I didn't want anyone straight away. But I hadn't really been that clear about it with, Neil, like, it's like black and white not having a midwife. And then the night that I or when I did, he was like sort of freaked out. And then he said he went to work the next day being
Speaker 1
like, oh, no. I've got a crazy person with them too.
Speaker 4
But, I just we just talked it out and and, you know, he just had the same conditioning that I had when Julia had said that to me, you know. And, I brought that book unassisted childbirth, and he just read the first few chapters and was like, okay. No. Fair enough. Like, you know, we just had to talk talk it out. But, you know, I did I was just looking after myself and just enjoying life, like, throughout my pregnancy, and I just knew that's what all I needed to do is just connect with my baby, be be a stress free and do what I enjoyed.
Speaker 3
Sorry. Yeah. What would you say was, like, the deepest work of that pregnancy? Like, what was what was hard about it, or what was really confronting about it?
Speaker 4
Yeah. I think the whole way, like, I I I would be lying if I said it was just just full enjoyment. Like, it was definitely, like, a little dark thoughts often of of worry and, like and I guess just from things you've heard and knowing oh, just things, like, often that would come in my head, like, especially in the first trimester, like, should should I I should just get a scan, maybe just check, you know. I don't know. And then as my poo coo grew, she was definitely more on one side than the other. And but but I always knew it was I knew deep down it was, everything was perfect, but I guess there'd just be shit on the top that you'd have to, like, actively be like, go away. You know? You you don't these sorts don't belong here. Yeah. Which was yeah. It was it was yeah. I just have only really fond memories of even though it was tough, like, just sitting together, you know, knowing that your baby's with you and caring caring for yourself and hers once, it's so lovely.
Speaker 1
But did
Speaker 3
So how did how did you prepare for this free birth as your first birth?
Speaker 1
Yep.
Speaker 3
Besides listening to every episode ever of Yeah.
Speaker 4
My podcast too. I always did did I don't know if this was yeah. I guess I was trying to, like, open my hips and do, like, stretching, which I don't know. I I'm I guess it's just, like, the kind of person I was or am is, like, physical. But I know that that now from Julia's second birth with Mulan, which you'll hear about that, it's not maybe necessary. But I enjoyed it. I think at the time, like, just having keeping active in that way because I felt quite, lethargic and then lying around would not make me, you know, raise my five. So just things like that. But I just did what I enjoyed and and ate good food and steak for for breakfast, and I just kept surfing till about six months. Just that's I think how I prepared. I sort of planned planned out how I wanted the birth to be. Yeah. Just feel like a little bit naive, but also just sweet. Totally. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Alright. So tell us your birth story.
Speaker 4
Yeah. I woke up before the sun was up with waters coming out in the bed. So I was like, today's the day and woke up Neil, and then I couldn't go back to sleep. So I just got up and, there was lots of liquid coming out, and I went and watered the garden and feed the chickens and just enjoyed being outside and listened to dance to some music and just was on a high. And then we set up the room with, like, a tarpaulin on the floor and a mattress and cushions and this sling thing from the ceiling. Because I'd heard from a few people that they wish they had something to pull on. And they're birthing. So we had that in in all good, and I remember this about eight thirty. And I was thinking, oh, it's not gonna be it's not gonna take long. Like, it's really strong. I think the baby's gonna be here soon. And then, yeah, just vibing out in the lounge, like, trying to get comfortable. We couldn't get comfortable and on the ball, and we had music. And I put, like, the sling around my hips and sort of sit sit back on the ball, and that was nice. But, yeah, just couldn't really get comfortable, which I guess is probably quite normal. You know? And then I went and had a shower and that was nice to the water, but I still just couldn't get comfortable. So I said, let's set up the pool because we had a pool, but I thought I wouldn't want it. But then, yeah, wanted it. And it was also quite nice to give Neil something to do because he his energy was a bit, like, didn't know what to do. And then, yeah, just, like, have it give him a job. But the water was really good when I got in and but it was too hot, but it just made everything calm down. So I could just, like, not feel the intensity so much because it was I remember being like to you, like, ow, like, my back. And so that was nice. It slowed everything down.
Speaker 3
Is Julia at your birth at this point?
Speaker 4
Yeah. She's in the next room. So she's not in the room, but I I didn't know she was there. And then Neil said at one point, like, oh, Drew's here. And so then I knew she was there, which I was kind
Speaker 1
of, quite relieved actually to
Speaker 4
know that she was there. But I hopped out of the pool because I think we ran out of hot water and it was cooling down, but then I could just have a rest because it had slowed everything down. And I was just lying down, like, on my side, just having these, like, DMT fast dreams. Just oh, man. And it was so fun. I just would have loved to have stayed there forever. Like, just these dreams, and they were so vivid. But then it would go, and another one would come, and I'd try and hold on. Like, make sense of the dream, but it would just disappear away. And eventually, I don't know how long. And I remember Julia saying, like because I I was just able to breathe through them now rather than vocalizing like I had been before. And Julia was like, baby's giving you a nice break. Like, Julia would just sometimes chuck in these little comments, like, you're doing so well. Like just this little voice that was really powerful. Just, eventually
Speaker 1
I was like, the baby's not going to come out if I'm just lying here.
Speaker 4
I needed to be a bit proactive. So we started I started trying to move around and I leaned over, this chair and then, poofed her screaming out. And it was, yeah, funny, like, we were just laughing and it was, like, it was a really fun day. It just went on and on, and then it was nighttime. And I was just sort of trying to use my voice, but I was also very aware of, like, even the neighbors and just eventually the music stops. The playlist finished and and the vibe kinda dropped. Yeah. And I was I was aware of the neighbors and and things. And then, I learned a few days later that our neighbor was actually sitting on her back step. Like, she'd heard me and she was sitting me praying for the whole day. So do
Speaker 1
I. Something.
Speaker 4
But, yeah, so anyway, soon enough it was nighttime and and I thought let's get back in the pool. I remember a moment of just I was just moving on the floor on the mattress and looking at Neil being like I was really pissed off. Like, he's not helping me. Like, like, and then I sort of felt like it's actually a feeling I've had before when we've been surfing, and I've gotten, like, stuck in a wave, and I've gotten scared and I'm worried and freaking out. And now I'm like, he's not helping me. He needs to come and save me. And then I but I realized at that moment, like, I've realized when we've been in the ocean, like, he can't actually save me. Like, when I was birthing this baby, like, he can't save me. Like, Julie can't help me. Like, they can help, but they can't really help. Like, I've just gotta do it myself. And then it was like I was like back. Like, let's go. I can do it. And so that's when I said, okay. Just get back in the pool. And and, yeah, it was I've felt my power come back to me and and get was happy and and doing it and having fun, I think. And then there was a moment when Neil came in with, some tacos and a coffee, and I was like, get out. You can't eat that in here.
Speaker 3
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1
Yeah. And the follow-up is
Speaker 3
a can of coffee? Yeah.
Speaker 4
So I said, I'll let you know. Smell.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I said, I'll let you
Speaker 4
know when the head's coming out. And then I was just in the pool and, yeah, the smoke alarm went off.
Speaker 1
I was like, Wait. Why?
Speaker 3
It's
Speaker 4
just a dad's smoke alarm.
Speaker 3
That's so funny because I was just sent a birth video the other day where the smoke alarm is going off while she's birthing, and I was like, how bizarre. Yeah.
Speaker 4
It's not what you want, but
Speaker 1
Mm-mm.
Speaker 4
No. Julie came and turned it off, and then I called Julie, like, come and come and help me. Well, I needed something, and she came and gave me a drink and and put was putting flannels on me
Speaker 1
and just having her there. I was like, oh,
Speaker 4
like, this is why people they have midwife or, like, sisterly support. Like, it was totally different. Like, it just felt comfortable. And she just, like, when I'd be, like, roaring through a contractions, she's just been like, yeah.
Speaker 3
Like, you know, like,
Speaker 4
hardly saying anything, but it would mean so much and just keep keeping me there. I was just going hot and cold, hot and cold. Oh, and a bit before this, actually, I'd asked her to play the drum and Neil to play the didgeridoo, and that was the best moment. Like, it was not for very long, but I could just actually fully let go of my voice and then not like, I just felt open, like, darkness, like, openness. It was beautiful. And so next time, I think I just really want sound, like, whoever's there to be making sound with me because, yeah, it felt amazing. But, unfortunately, it didn't last very long. So, yeah, Julia was supporting me, and that was lovely. But the plastic birth pool was like, you know, you move when they come when the waves come and then you're rubbing against plastic and the sound was horrible. Like, it was really off putting. So I like a we asked Neil to come get in the pool so I could lean against him, and then that was most comfortable. I felt like the whole day, I felt like I couldn't hold my body. Like, I just wanted I felt like I couldn't hold myself. So having someone to, like, hold me was, yeah, that was what I it was made everything better. And it was really cool because it was dark now, and all three of us were together. It was like a party kind of and, yeah, eventually her head started to come out hours before I put my finger up and felt her head maybe this far away, but then she she was just going and like all afternoon, but then eventually her head came out and then right back in. Yeah. That was kind of excruciating, and I was sort of begging her, like, come on, baby, please. Come on. But it was, yeah, it was so fun. Feeling her head coming out was, I think, one of the funnest moments of my life. I just felt like I can do anything, and, yeah, it was awesome. And then her head was out, but then she was still trying to go back in and I I thought it felt like Neil was shoving her back in. I was honestly like, what are you doing? Don't touch me. But he wasn't touching me. It was and I think that, yeah, that I think that made some some hurt. What yeah. I don't know if it was her or is it the body contracting or what, but, yeah, she was trying to go back in.
Speaker 1
But, yeah, she's
Speaker 3
They will they will launch off your fundus, off the top of your uterus, and they'll, like, frog leap off your fundus, and many women will think that their partner is touching. It's really common. And then also when they turn, when they do their restitution, they jerk, and it feels like someone is messing with the baby, but it's just the baby. Yeah.
Speaker 4
So yeah. Yeah. It was it wasn't wasn't, wasn't enjoyable to feel like it was so exciting. Like, you know, there's so much going on like this, what you're feeling physically, but then what you're like in your heart. And it was so good. And, yeah, then she was like half out and then I sort of stood up and got off here. And I was so relieved, like, just wanted to be out. Like, it was yeah. Then we were happy family and it was so good to have Julia there.
Speaker 1
Yeah. It was just like
Speaker 4
high vibes, love, just amazingness. Yeah. And then we sort of sort of like, okay. Well, do
Speaker 1
we just go to sleep now? Great. It makes it tragic. Yeah.
Speaker 4
And the placenta didn't wanna come out. So, I just went to sleep and got it out in the morning sniffing peppermint oil. I we had a book and it suggested that. So that helps I don't know. It just came out then. Didn't wanna pull it. So, yeah, the next morning, we were completely separate. And yeah. Then the healing was I felt it took a while. I was quite sore. I felt kinda paralyzed for about a week or so.
Speaker 1
I was like, nothing could
Speaker 4
prepare you. Like, doesn't I'm like, no no way. The birth seems kinda easy compared to postpartum. Yeah. But I had amazing support.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I was gonna say your postpartum is next door to her. Right?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 4
Yeah. And our mom was here. And Neil had a time off work, and so, yeah, just got to lie with baby, but still, it's a lot of time in bed. Like, wow. So much time lying there. Well but, yeah, just definitely felt like it had been I'd been on a trip or something and I was still coming out of it. And seeing people that if they'd come over that wasn't Julia O'Neil who'd been at the birth, it would just be like sort of like, like, you're not on the same wavelength or you know? Yeah.
Speaker 3
No. It's like Yeah. I think I compared it to, like, talking to the cops when you're on mushrooms. You know? Just, like, in a totally different dimension.
Speaker 4
Definitely. Yeah. And I felt like, yeah, life was in a new dimension now and a way better one, like, with this beautiful daughter. And I sort of was thinking about that and thinking about how each child that comes in, like, my niece or nephew or other children, like, they just make the world, like, this up the dimension of it's beautiful. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. I had a, lovely postpartum with support and relaxing times. It was really hot and there were a lot of flies, but, just trying to stay cool. And, yeah, now yeah. But just such a beautiful happy baby and, yeah, she's
Speaker 1
different. She's awesome.
Speaker 3
Alright. Let's go to you for your for your next free birth story, and then I'll pitch a couple questions to you both.
Speaker 1
K. Cool. So, yeah. So I got pregnant. We had fun, you know, bringing her into the world. She took her time, but we had fun. And, it was funny because as soon as I got pregnant, I got thrashed. And I had that in my last pregnancy too. And so it was just felt like this, battle. I just thought I'd mention this because I know a lot of women get it. And I was trying everything, you know, and it was like seven months. And I was like, what? You know? And so I went to this, beautiful energy healer, and, she tapped into that. And, she, yeah, went over my area, and she said, this has something to do with your anger. And I was like, woah. That so clicked. And it was, you know, thrush frustration. It was anger that I hadn't resolved. And so that led me onto the path of healing myself, through the power of the word. And that also was what helped create this birth that I dreamed of, was speaking to my body. And, and as soon as I healed my anger and my frustration, which took only a few weeks, the thrush had gone, and it didn't come back. And I thought, wow. So I am really this powerful healer that God created us to be. And so, yeah. So it was a it was a really good pregnancy apart from that, you know, that was a battle. And, but, yeah, the last two months where I was frustration free, I was having these, tummy tightenings, but they were so orgasmic. Like, I was would be with friends. I would go, hold on. Oh, god. Wow. So I knew that this, you know, this was gonna be, you know, so different from the last. And, and, yeah. So I envisioned what I wanted. I wanted a, yeah, a pain free, blissful, orgasmic, birth ceremony. And I just every day, I envision that, and I, reestablish, you know, my vision and cut out the word labor. And so the day came, well, the week before, I felt, you know, every night, I'd be like, tonight's tonight. You know what's gonna happen tonight? And, the body just feeling all the bones open and just like, wow. Just surrendering to actually, I'm not doing anything. You know? My body and the divine creator who created all of us is actually doing this through me and just, like, really being present with that. And, what actually helped me be present with that in my body is having a few massages throughout the pregnancy and, like, being so present and being like, this is what god is gonna do to me while I'm having this baby. Is it it's just gonna be a massage, really. And so, When you say labor, we say massage. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Hey. That's a good song title. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Alright. We'll write that down. So the day came, and I was like, k. This is feeling different. You know, it was about four o'clock, and, I was getting my tightenings, my orgasmic tightenings, and they were feeling quite different. And my partner came home from work, and we had dinner with our son. And he was having these waves, and I was like, okay. I just need to go within totally. We put our son to bed. It was about six thirty. And I took my clothes off, went by the fire. And then I was doing this every night as well, so my partner just thought it was, you know, it was just another night. You know, I've been saying this for a week. And so he didn't actually know that I was in, yeah, I gotta say labor, but birth ceremony. He didn't know. And so I was just, you know, breathing. He didn't
Speaker 3
he didn't know that you were getting massaged.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. I was very, discreet. But he did come into the room at one point, and he just lay on the floor next to me. And I was like, do you think you could go to the other room? Like, I'd even just the sound of his voice like, the of his breathing. Like, I just found it really taking me out of my zone. You know? And so I just really wanted to go deep within. And even, like, having to put a log on the fire, it would take me out of the zone. So, yeah. So, yeah, I was getting these waves, and, it was so just like, wow. Like, all I had to do was just relax. That's all. I don't have to do anything. But I was saying over and over to myself, you know, to keep any unnecessary fearful thoughts, coming in and saying fearless faith, love, non resistance. Fearless faith, love, non resistance. And I just felt like this open divine flower, like this ancient flower that we all are, you know, opening and this God is literally birthing through me. And I was just like, wow. And I was just sitting there and just feeling that and, like, the waves and just breathing. And then I thought, oh, maybe I should just, you know, change positions. It's getting a little bit intense. And so I rolled over, and I was like, oh, is it getting a bit intense? And in that moment, I was like, I could easily call my man and, you know, and be like. But I didn't. I was like, I'm summoning the goddess of pleasure and bliss. I'm summoning the god goddess of pleasure and bliss. And I was like, oh, I think I need to do a shit. And so I went to the toilet, and, the waters just popped and broke everywhere. And I put my fingers up and I was like, oh my god. Her head is right there. Like, I didn't know it was gonna be, you know, just wow. She's right there. And so our toilet's next to our bedroom, and our son was asleep on the bed, and my partner was laying next to him. And I went to the end of the bed where I'd always envisioned, actually, she was coming out there.
Speaker 3
And Wait. Does he understand that you're getting your cosmic massage right now?
Speaker 1
No. He didn't have no idea. Because I was just, you know, breathing, and I didn't want it. But I grabbed his foot, and I was and there were these surges. Like, you know when you're doing it, number two, and your body just does it for you. But, actually, there was this one point before I went to the toilet where it was intense, and I was like, I can do this. I can do this. I was like, hold on a minute, sister. You don't need to do anything. And I laughed. I was like, silly bitch. Anyway, so yeah. So I'm at the end of the bed. I grabbed my partner's foot, and I was like, can you come get them? And he's like, I thought I meant some towels or something. And I was like, another baby. So we come around and Oh my god. And then she's out within three, like, surges of yeah. And I was in shock, and my whole body was shaking. And I was like, it's true. Your lady's right. The portal, it's real. Go by the book. Oh my god.
Speaker 3
His his version of this story must be so funny.
Speaker 1
You had no idea. You know?
Speaker 3
Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. Aw.
Speaker 1
Yeah. And then my son woke up, and he's like, oh, baby.
Speaker 4
Oh, you
Speaker 1
need to wash your hands, mama.
Speaker 3
That's right.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. But the thing is, what I realized was, in my first sacred birthday on running labor, I was observed and I was watched, and I thought I had to do this. You know? But whereas in this birth Mhmm. I was observing birth through me. Therefore, there wasn't need to be, you know, this excruciating because I didn't need to do anything, you know, just fully relax. And I feel like that was a huge, like, woah. We we need to observe birth, not be observed. Like, what are we doing? That's what I felt. But it's different for everyone to know. But yeah.
Speaker 3
Well, no one wants to be observed. No. Yeah. You know? They might think they should be, but Yeah. You know, they're you know, a lot of women are establishing their birth plans before they're in labor. Right? So once they're in labor, what they think they wanted is now underway even though what they will discover is that a lot of it is highly disruptive. Right?
Speaker 1
Yes. Yeah. So it's such a sabotage on women. But thanks to you. But is chaos
Speaker 3
What like, who do you two become? Like, what happens be now that you are these free birthing sisters and you have all this creativity flowing through you both. And take me into this sovereign music genre that you've created.
Speaker 1
Yes.
Speaker 4
Well, so we started recording this EP during, my pregnancy. Songs we'd written or half written, when Julia and I were living next door to each other. So so this journey of us and Julie knowing that she was also gonna get pregnant soon and free birth and this that was the path we were choosing. And so the music and that the shift, I feel like, happened together. And as, the yeah. I don't know if it resonated with you, but the lyrics and just sort of the the feeling and the messages were sort of about what we were wanting, you know, to, to to hold in our life. Yeah. So who do we become? Yeah. I guess yeah. It was just I don't know. That's just what I was thinking. The music and us choosing to birth this way and experience it together was was intertwined, I feel like. Just
Speaker 1
And taking the
Speaker 3
power back. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's kinda what I wanna hear more of is, like, what what how does free birth and actualizing, you know, what you just articulated, Julia, like, how does that change and shape you both?
Speaker 1
Well, now, you know, anything that comes up, physical ailments, anything. I'm not gonna go and ask someone else first. I'm gonna ask the inner guidance that's that's just that's it. You know? And that's everything really in sickness and health and, yeah, and life. And it's just like, well, we have this innate wisdom, all of us, inside at any moment, you know. And that's never gonna be taken away.
Speaker 4
Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like with Milan's birth too, Julia's free birth that for us watching from the outside, it was like, woah. Like, that's it. Like, this is you know, we we learned so much from it too. It's incredible. Yeah. Of just there doesn't need to be pain and and resistance with with life. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Beautiful. So am I allowed to put you on the spot and have you women sing us a song?
Speaker 4
Definitely.
Speaker 1
Do we have a guitar that's in the studio? Over there. Oh, okay.
Speaker 0
Come on.
Speaker 1
Let's go. Have one that you'd like to hear?
Speaker 3
Do whichever one you feel like is the one to play on this podcast.
Speaker 1
We'd love to share a song for you.
Speaker 3
I like them all. Are you ready? I'm so ready. Two.
Speaker 4
I think so. Check. Doctor. Rickmill live on Free Breath Society.
Speaker 1
In my How's that levels for you, sis?
Speaker 3
You're going on Instagram.
Speaker 1
Live my body. Another life can grow. Get up and glide to that sweet inspiration. When you're inspired, the spirit is contagious. Soon we will, so be it with joy, and so be it with ease. So be it with abundance. We are not spinning those stationary and divine. How can we make sense as children when they try to force feed us life? I can smell infiltration, and I can smell it from a mile what's intended for the next generation, claiming everything that's wild. But you'll never tame the waves. Bringing it through that portal. Love is life, and for the women who have come before us. Bless this life.
Speaker 3
Oh, good. Oh, that
Speaker 4
was such
Speaker 1
a treat.
Speaker 3
Thank you. Oh, okay. Took a clip. I'm gonna put it on Instagram. But do you women have a tag that's just for your music? A page,
Speaker 1
I mean?
Speaker 4
Doctor Rick Naw. So it's Oh, right. R e
Speaker 1
k n a w.
Speaker 3
Okay. So what's it gonna take to get the two of you to come to matriarch rising festival and play Just a plain
Speaker 1
just a plain ticket oasis.
Speaker 3
Right?
Speaker 1
We'll be there.
Speaker 3
Let's do it. Yeah. Yeah. Right? You you women obviously have to play live in front of the free birth community. Yay. Yes, please. Okay. Cool. Yeah. If you're interested, let's talk about it.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Definitely. And it's just wanna say, like, you know, this these stories in your medicine, that is the podcast that has been affecting our lives and our music, and now this music's come through us. And now to be able to give the music back to you and your community, it's so beautiful. And yeah.
Speaker 1
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3
I mean, that's how womanhood is designed. That's how sisterhood is designed. Yeah. Right? This is, like, our natural state to give our gifts in reciprocity and keep them spinning. You know? Yeah.
Speaker 4
So cool to, like, feel it and and hold it. It's amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Oh, it's such a treat to connect with you both. I'm so glad you emailed us. Yeah.
Speaker 4
Thank you so much, Emilee. Yeah.
Speaker 3
So if women wanna find you, you just said your Instagram. We'll make sure to put that in our show notes. Do you also wanna give, like, a website or anything else for your music?
Speaker 4
Well, we're on all streaming platforms. Yeah. We we're working on a website at the moment. But, yeah, just go on socials. You'll find us, and then you can stay up to date if you like. Yeah.
Speaker 1
And if you wanna hear that song, it's called In My Mind, and it is on Spotify. And it's our EP we just released, and it's called Portal, and it coincide like, it was just buzzy timing with the book portal. Because it's not
Speaker 3
from that. It just happened to be
Speaker 1
Yeah. We're just like yeah.
Speaker 3
That word is There's guides. It's here right now. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4
It's a time. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Alright. Well, thank you both so much. I'm so happy you're connected. Bless you.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Thank you so much,
Speaker 3
I hope you enjoyed the show today. You can support this podcast by donating to it on free birth society dot com and leaving an awesome review on whatever platform you listen on. The more reviews, the more visibility the show gets, so let's spread the word of sovereign birth. We've always got a lot going on at Free Birth Society, and you can find out about all of it at free birth society dot com, at free birth society on Instagram, and opt in to my newsletter below in the show notes. We offer courses on free birth, authentic midwifery, and the blood mysteries, as well as one on one coaching, in person retreats, and, of course, our annual women's festival. Our exclusive vetted private membership is definitely something to check out if you're looking for a community of wise sisters. Together, we rise. We must speak our stories, claim our lives, and support one another. This is the living revolution, and I am so grateful to be in it with all of you. I'll leave you with our epic Free Birth Society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 5
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored. Eons upon light beams of survival, withstanding the eradication of our power by design. I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging out babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons or your poison. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention, death, ascension. I will fly and bring her back from the star.
