Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm going into the wild, I am. It's been a wild freedom child, since I left my roots back home. Into the wild I'm good. Into the wild I am. It's been a while, freedom child, since I left my roots back home.
Speaker 1
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya.
Speaker 0
It's been a wild freedom since I've left my roots back home.
Speaker 2
Jaylen was aware that the medical system was dangerous for her as a woman and a black mother. Thankfully, her first birth with medical midwives was fairly straightforward. She left the birth center clear that she would not go back, not because it was traumatic, but because it simply just wasn't worth leaving her house for. With her second pregnancy, Jaylyn stepped into full responsibility with a wild pregnancy and then the free birth of her dreams. She was surrounded by sisterhood and support in a community ashram. Jaylen fully actualized her dream birth. We're talking about an epic birth space decorated by dear sisters, friends chanting and vocalizing with her during the birth, live flute music, and plants infused with affirmations by Toni Jones herself. There was no fear. It was all flow with Jaylyn completely centered and held by her community, which then transitioned into a brilliantly supported postpartum. Jaylyn goes on to fully integrate this massive up level and leaves nursing school to pursue a truly holistic path, which is unfolding and gaining power as she does the work to shine her light and show women in her community the way out of the system and into sovereign birth. Alright. Jaylen, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3
Peace. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2
Yeah. I'm so excited to be here with you and and hear the full story that you have to share today. So I'm just gonna kick it off to you. Who are you before you become a mother? And just walk me through through this journey you've been on.
Speaker 3
It has been quite the journey. So which is my daughter's name, by the way.
Speaker 2
K. That what?
Speaker 3
That I gave birth to during the free birth. But prior to Jalen the mother, I was in nursing school. Mhmm. Of a nursing career. I wanted to be a holistic nurse. And then I had my first birth, which was my daughter, my oldest daughter, who is she'll be three this upcoming February, so in a couple months. And that changed everything. Like, you are truly you are truly reborn when you give birth. And she just brought this fire out of me, and this this need or this insatiable desire to be my authentic self, like, and to, just stand on what you believe in and to adhere to, you know, your your moral and ethical code. So given that, it it transformed my life.
Speaker 2
Yeah. No big deal. Just, just learning you have to live by your own ethical code. Yeah. And so what so you get pregnant with her. You're in nursing school. And what's that birth like? Are you doing the obstetrical
Speaker 3
thing? So okay. Initially, I was receiving care. I had when I first found out I was pregnant with her, my first thought is, like, oh my god. Like, I don't wanna die. So I'm calling around trying to figure out who was gonna be my care provider. I call a birthing center here, and when I spoke to them, it was a stand alone birth and center. But when I spoke to them, I asked if they had any black midwives, and she informed me that they didn't. So I was just like, okay. Well, I don't think, you know, this is the place for me because I want to be represented in my birth.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Could you elaborate a little bit more when you say that your first thought is I don't wanna die? What say more about that. What do you mean?
Speaker 3
So currently, black women are three to four times more likely than our counterparts to die in childbirth or during the post partum period. So, you know, I constantly see articles of women our our maternal and infant mortality rates are super high. So not only do I see women dying, I also see little babies dying.
Speaker 2
So you have awareness of the horrific maternal death rates in our country. I also just wanna add here that I think when when we talk about this stuff in developed countries, it's important to also presence that these death rates are within the system. Right? So it is it is not childbirth. I'm not telling you this. I'm telling listeners this. It's not childbirth that is killing women
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
And babies. Right? Mhmm. Just wanna just, like, always feel like we need to just bring that in because it can sound like, holy shit. Why are why are black women dying at these high rates in childbirth? Well, yeah. Technically, it is within the scope of childbirth, but it is the system Mhmm. That is killing women.
Speaker 3
And it it also has deep roots, back to the origins of the obstetrical practice.
Speaker 2
Hell, yeah. It does.
Speaker 3
Black women were being operated on without anesthesia. Well, slaves. Mhmm. Black slaves were being operated on, by the founder of obstetrics. And he would do hysterectomies. He would do all these different, like, procedures, and he wouldn't use anesthesia because, allegedly, we don't feel pain and, like, we're subhuman. So it goes all the way back Yeah. To even the origins of obstetrics. And now what I found throughout the process of me finding who was gonna care for me. And, you know, I'm having these conversations because I want to be represented. I'm feeling like, okay. Well, if I do have a care provider who looks like me, then I'm more likely to be heard. I'm more likely to be identified with and, empathize with and, you know, related to and all of the things. So, you know, I declined to receive care from the you know, respectfully from the birthing center, and, I chose to go to a nearby hospital facility. But what I chose was the alternative birthing center, which is supposed to be the more natural route, like, if you don't plan on having any epidural or anything anything of that nature opposed to going to l and d. But in the event that you need to go to l and d, you have that option. So during the course of my care, I soon realized
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 3
That just because they look at you does not mean that they are on the same frequency or are mentally on the same, you know, capacity on the same wavelength. Just because these are people of color, they have still been indoctrinated in a system that is upholding the the status quo. So
Speaker 2
Which is violent.
Speaker 3
Exactly. So given that, I was just like I felt I had a two out of, I believe, six chance because it was two, black midwives on the team. And during the course of my care throughout my pregnancy, I will be seeing, you know, whomever was there when I came. And then, obviously, when you give birth, you're gonna get whomever's on call. Right. So I had a two out of six chance of having a black midwife deliver me. So I went with those odds, and I just, you know, when I began to feel like even by someone who looked like me, when I began to feel as though you're not listening to what I said, or you're not respecting what I'm choosing for myself. You know, I had asked the question, oh, well, do you guys allow women to have a lotus birth? Oh, you don't wanna do that. Oh, you're gonna be carrying around it's just rotting flesh, and you you're already gonna be carrying a baby. You don't wanna have to carry that around too, and then, you know, it's just too much. I didn't ask any of that. Right. You're projecting, and you're giving me your own personal opinion and what your bias is on it. Like, I just simply wanted to know, like, given, you know, the hospital rules and, procedures and protocols, is that allowed? Or I also felt like I was being coerced to, to receive more ultrasounds when I, you know, came across the information, and spirit told me intuitively not to get ultrasound. And then the program version of me was like, no. Like, if it was anything wrong, like, wow. They be doing that. Oh, god. You know, so many women wouldn't be getting them. And then later on, after two ultrasounds, one being an anatomy scan, which is an hour long, I found out, you know, the the other side to what ultrasound is and how loud it is and how hot it is and, you know, all of these things and how it's a form of radiation. And and I'm just, like, mortified at what I've done to my child. And I'm just like, why didn't they tell me this? They don't tell you this prior to. They don't give you all the information that's needed to make an informed decision for yourself.
Speaker 2
And let's also presence what you said earlier that obstetrics is rooted on the violence and disembodiment and mutilation of
Speaker 3
women. Absolutely.
Speaker 2
Right? And so every all the practices that that obstetrics was is born from, that were done on slave women, enslaved women, is now the foundational practices of obstetrics. And I'm I'm saying that here because, of course, they're hurting women and babies. They've always been hurting women and babies. Right? But we come into it with this, like, kind of bizarre assumption that somehow now they're not hurting us. You know?
Speaker 3
They're saving us. Right. You know? They're saving us from the hurt that they're inflicting upon us, and then we look at them like, oh, you saved me. Like, no. You're you started the fire. Like
Speaker 2
you know what
Speaker 3
I mean? It's crazy for me to thank you for putting it out when you started it. Mhmm. So, Yeah. Just giving the course of the care, I was just like, I don't feel like I'm being heard. I don't feel like my choices are being respected. I'm declining any further ultrasound, and I'm being told, oh, well, we didn't get pictures of this. I felt like I was being coerced. You know? And then I so I ended up changing my care back to the freestanding birthing center that I had called initially. And it was white women there, but I felt like my birth choices like, it was like I can have it my way. Do you guys do lotus birth? Oh, yeah. We have herbs. Did you need herbs? Or are you gonna bring your arms? However you would like it. You know what I mean? I felt like the and I transferred at thirty weeks. You know? It was it was on me really heavy. It was on my spirit really heavy, and I told my husband, like, look. I cannot give birth there. Like, we have to figure this out. And I transferred my care at almost the very last minute. And I'm so happy that I did. I'm so happy that I did.
Speaker 2
So how did that birth go?
Speaker 3
It was beautiful. So I actually end up later laboring most of the time at home, And I didn't know that I had officially begun labor, even with having taken a birthing class or, just haven't finished my OB rotation in nursing school, which I forgot to mention that I had to pray during that experience that I did not experience any traumatic births because I did not want that to taint, you know, where I was mentally in regards to what was upcoming for me. Like, I wanted to stay in a in a good space. You know what I mean? In regards to how I feel about childbirth and so on and so forth. And just the work that I have been doing mentally, like, I didn't want that undone. So that was my prayer. I was literally at the the last part of my of my pregnancy. I was in my third trimester, and I was, finishing my OB rotation. That was the last rotation that I had to do in nursing school before I was set to give birth. So God shielded me, and we got we got taken out because of COVID. So I didn't even experience that many births. I did witness a cesarean section, which I had to step out because it was a bit gruesome. But as far as trauma and and I I heard other students that I was there with, they actually seen traumatic births where they see, you know, babies being sucked out with a vacuum and the mom having to, like, hold on to something while they pull and she's
Speaker 2
Oh my god.
Speaker 3
I didn't have to witness that. And I just thank god for protection. So fast forward, I end up laboring. I didn't know I didn't know labor had officially begun. I'm like, is this Braxton Hicks? I didn't know what to expect. I always expected to feel something in my abdomen, but I felt everything in my back. And I got, like, it got to the point where my water broke, and I called the birthing center, and now they're rushing me to my own birth. I'm just like, okay. Like, I didn't understand. I didn't understand at what point I was at. And I got there, and I was like, can you guys, like, fill up the tub for me in case I wanna get in there? And they were like, she's about to come out. And I'm like, oh, okay. So I pulled up at at twelve twenty five, and I gave birth at one zero five.
Speaker 2
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3
I rested for four hours, and then I headed back home. So after that, I was like, I could've just stayed home.
Speaker 2
Yeah. For real. I love when birth stories I love when births in the system are so chill that the mom realizes she doesn't need the system versus, you know, most women are finding free birth by first being brutalized by the system and then being, like, you know, never again. But yours is, like, oh, I didn't even have to leave.
Speaker 3
I just literally came here. I pushed her out, and that was it. Like, I
Speaker 2
That's funny.
Speaker 3
Extra step out. So baby number two, that's what I did. I was just like, you know, I I realized after that birth that everything I I needed was inside of me. So that's what led me to my free birth.
Speaker 2
So did you have the language? Like, say more about that. Like, how does free birth come into your consciousness? And and, you know, most women don't do something so rogue. Right? Most women will go from a birth center to a home birth with a medical midwife. So tell me about, like, how it even comes into your mind that you could just do this without a medical provider.
Speaker 3
So it's a woman that I follow online, and she's so I love her so much. Her name is Crystal Alkaline Dula. Her name is Crystal Alkaline Dula. And she is so fierce, and she gets online. She has she sells herbs. She has a whole herbal collection. Her herbs are what I took when I was pregnant opposed to taking, what are those? Prenatal pills. Mhmm. Her herbs. So I listened to her starting with my first pregnancy, and that's when I got the like, when it was the confirmation about the ultrasound. I heard her talking about it, and I was like, I knew that didn't sit right in my spirit. You know? And then just listening to her, it was just a build on and a build on, and I believe she has had three free births.
Speaker 0
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
He literally ignited that fire, and
Speaker 2
Awesome.
Speaker 3
It was just like, oh, like, yeah. It's I can do that. Like
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 3
You could just have your baby. Like, it's fine. You can do it. You made your baby all by yourself. Like, is it so crazy to think that you can birth your baby by yourself? Or, you know, if you look out into the wild, you don't see, like, oh, the kangaroo or the the ape or the you don't see anybody else running to the hospital. No. They are they are divinely created, and they know that they can birth them their babies themselves. So why can't you?
Speaker 2
So I love that. And when you roll this idea out to your husband, is he just like a a yes for sure, or does that take some conversation?
Speaker 3
One thing I can say for certain is that he has not given me any pushback. Even when I choose to care for our first baby at the last minute, because we had to come up on a couple grand
Speaker 2
Sure.
Speaker 3
At the very last minute to birth at that birthing center.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
So, you know, it was just like, okay. And then this time around, I was just like, you know, I don't think I'm a do any of that. And he was just like, okay. You know? He's seen me do that that first time. And and I believe even before that, he believed in me. But having that first experience, like, he was just in the same boat as me. Like, oh, like, you know, it's not easy peasy lemon squeezy. Like, birth is it's gonna take you there.
Speaker 2
Birth. Yeah.
Speaker 3
For sure. But, you know, we both believed that my body was designed to to do that, and the baby is designed to birth. So why not? Yeah.
Speaker 2
So I got to watch, you know, the minute or minute and a half of that beautiful edited video, and your birth was so trippy and magical. You had all these different people contributing to the space. So I'd love to hear before you get into the full on birth story, like, tell me about your pregnancy and how you are dreaming up your team and and what you want. And, you know, do you are you having a wild pregnancy? What is all what's the work of that pregnancy? And then that can take us into your birth?
Speaker 3
So pregnancy with baby number two. I find out I'm pregnant, and I already know, like, I'm just gonna care for myself. Yeah. I began to take the teas from crystal alkaline doula, and I also began to purchase, a sea moss it's a sea moss herbal blend from a young man who sells it here in Detroit, and that was my prenatal care along with, chiropractic care, massages, sunlight, movement, plenty of water. Shout out to Mountain Valley. I don't know if I can say that here, but I drank so many bottles of Mountain Valley.
Speaker 2
That's hilarious. This episode is sponsored by
Speaker 3
I drink so many bottles of Mountain Valley. That is my go to water. I feel like, if I like, it's, to me, it's my top choice. So
Speaker 2
Mhmm. It was
Speaker 3
a part of my prenatal care. That's what I I gotta put that out there. And my baby was so healthy and beautiful. And so as I'm going through the pregnancy, a wild pregnancy, I'm caring for myself. I'm doing all the things. I'm making sure, you know, that my baby, my belly is growing right. I'm making sure, you know, I'm getting enough iron. I'm making sure, you know, just all the things. So my friends, they had at at this point in time, they had a house that was called an ashram. So ashram is like a place for, like I think, like, spiritual sabbaticals, like spiritual retreat. And they opened this house. It was a really big house, like, six bedrooms. And the house was dedicated to yoga, mindfulness, meditation, different community events such as, like, artsy stuff. And I just met the most beautiful people here. Mhmm. And the timing was impeccable. So during this time, my family, my my husband, myself, and my baby, we were in transition. So my my home, it was under construction, and I was like, oh my god. Like, the construction just wasn't it wasn't finishing. Like, it just else. And I'm just like, I have to like, I'm about to have a baby, and I'm supposed to be having a baby at home. Like, home needs to be a home. Like, I have to have certain things. So I asked my friends. I said, hey. Can I use the space to give birth? And they were like, absolutely.
Speaker 2
Aw. That's super cool.
Speaker 3
So, with that being said, they also had a tent out in their backyard, and they we have this magical friend, and her name is Rainbow Liz. Mama Rainbow now. My apologies. She's bringing in that mama energy. She's next up. I'm gonna put that out there for her. So mama Rainbow had decorated this beautiful tent set up in the backyard, and it was just like, when you o when you go inside this tent, it's like a portal. It was like, you just are instantly in another world. It was I never seen anything like it. It was so cool and just something I couldn't I couldn't ever have fathom. And they got everything from the thrift store, and she created a lot of stuff. It was a a tapestry in the back that she had created. Everything was just so beautiful. So I was like, I think I'm gonna ask her to decorate my birthday
Speaker 4
room.
Speaker 3
And I did, and she was so honored. She was like, absolutely. Like, yes. Without a shadow of a doubt, especially because she's calling that energy in for herself. And then she had told me, like, because she was entering a space that she had never seen birth before and she wanted to learn so much about it. So that was our trade off. Like, I taught her about birth and she
Speaker 4
put
Speaker 3
my birthing room together. And also, I, had her to attend my birth so that she could see and experience her first birth and experience as something that's wholesome and sacred opposed to, like, the trauma and the fear mongering that everybody tries to push. Yeah. So we bonded over that. She put the room together. We went to the thrift store. We picked out things that I like, and, you know, she put her own spin on things. I told her I wanted a ancestral altar. We put that together. She incorporated so many other things with just, like, detail, very intricate, like, in like, intentional like, everything was just intentional. Every single thing that was in the room, if you ask her about it, it was intention behind it. Like, she picked it for a reason down to the colors that, like, down just everything. So I was just I went she was putting a room together, and then they they it was a reveal.
Speaker 2
Yep.
Speaker 3
I was floored. Like, when I walked into the room, I'm just like, oh my god. Like, this is so beautiful. Again, something that I could have never I could have never fathomed, and I'm forever grateful to her
Speaker 2
for Mhmm.
Speaker 3
Creating that sacred space for me because it just made the experience just that much more special. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2
So sweet.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So as far as who all was there, it was people who were kinda living at the house, like, friends who were living at the house. And I had kinda had already touched base with, like, okay. Well, I if you're here when I give birth, like, I would like for you to help me, and this is the capacity in which I would like for you to help me. And all of those people ended up being there. It was a, it was an event held at the house by Tony Jones, and it was called the Living Room Experience. Now, initially, I was like, oh, they're gonna have a party. And the party was it was it was a Thanksgiving party. And, initially, because I had a wild pregnancy, I miscalculated my due date. Oh, okay. Speaking that I was come I was gonna be due at the end of November. So they had the first living room experience, which was, like, around Thanksgiving time. And I was just like, okay. Like, just talking to the baby. Like, if we could just please make it past this you get what I'm saying? I will be grateful. So so we did. And then I realized, you know, oh, I miscalculated my due date. You know, I think that was about a month off. I was a month early that I calculated it. Mhmm. So now they put another living room experience on the books for New Year's Eve.
Speaker 2
That's so funny.
Speaker 3
Okay. Like, I'm in the same boat again because this is not what I had envisioned for, like, my peaceful birthing experience.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Having a full on event at the home you're gonna birth at.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So
Speaker 2
So what did happen?
Speaker 3
Okay. So the night of New Year's Eve, I cooked dinner for my family. I'm washing the dishes, and I'm feeling these you know, I'm feeling sensations.
Speaker 2
Hold on. Are you living at the ashram? Because you're okay. You're at home right now.
Speaker 3
I'm at home.
Speaker 2
Okay. I'm at home. Plan was just to go there in labor.
Speaker 3
Yep. Mhmm. So I'm feeling sensations. But up to this point, I have been feeling sensations so much. It was a couple times. I thought it was, you know, time, and it wasn't. So I'm just like, I'm not even paying no attention. Like Yeah. It's not time. Even at even though at this point, I was forty weeks and two days, I'm still like, you know, it's not time. So I'm washing dishes. I shower. I well, I cook dinner, wash dishes, shower, and I'm just, like, breathing through the sensations. And my mom and my husband are both, like, encouraging me to stay. Like, why are you gonna go out? It's New Year's Eve. You know, people drive drinking and driving and, you know, all the things. And I was like, hey. I'm going out. Because I had been expecting a baby for so long that I had just been in the house. So I had cabin fever. And then I knew I had missed out on a lot of events that they had done, and I just was feeling FOMO, like, left out. So I was like
Speaker 2
You went to the event
Speaker 3
and then just stayed there to birth? Wait. I went I went to the event. I pulled up. I had a good time. I mean, for what I could, like, I was sitting there and I just telling everybody, like, yeah. I'm having contractions. Like, you know, I was talking and laughing. I was like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 2
That sounds like a great event to be in early labor, though.
Speaker 3
Somebody was like, oh, you look miserable. Like
Speaker 2
Oh. I I didn't feel
Speaker 3
like I looked miserable, though. Like, maybe I made a face, but I wasn't, like, making any noise or crying anything. I was just, like, I was feeling it. So, you know, it just it it was persisting, and it was getting stronger. And I just told them, like, I think I'm about to just head home to rest. And I really believed in my heart that when I went home to rest that it was gonna subside.
Speaker 2
So I
Speaker 3
was like, I'm just gonna go home and get some rest. At this point, I got there at maybe, like, eleven. I think I left at about one something. And I get home, and I wake my husband. I'm like, you know, can you please help me? So he's, like, laboring with me. He's pushing on my back, and we added for about, I guess, four hours. So around, like, five, I head back out to go back there.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
And everybody when I left at one, it was a house full of people. It was cars all down the block around the corner. It was so many people. And when I was laboring with my husband, I just kept pleading with the baby, like, not now. Please just not now. Just anytime, but now. And my husband is like, why not? Why not now? Like, it's okay. It's fine. And I'm just like, oh, it's not. There's so many people there. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Did you ever think just, like, just let the baby come at home?
Speaker 3
Because I had everything there. Like, I prepared the space. Everything was there. The clock was there. Like, the, the, fetal monitor, the, not fetal monitor, but the fetal stethoscope, the lotus herbs, the Mhmm. All of my birthing stuff was there. So it wasn't even on my radar my radar to just say to stay here.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So we got up at about five. We left. And when we got there, it was pretty much empty. It was pretty much was still a few people, just a couple people who had stayed over.
Speaker 2
And did you bring your daughter?
Speaker 3
I did not bring my daughter. She was sleeping. Yeah. I wanted her to experience that, but she was asleep. And then by the time she did wake up that next morning, I had already given birth.
Speaker 1
So you
Speaker 2
just had someone come stay
Speaker 3
My mom.
Speaker 2
At your house. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So, she stayed with my mom. And, yeah, by the time she woke up, I had already given birth. And I was worried because I was like, well, I don't want her to be worried about, because at that time, she was one going on two. And at that time, it was different scenarios that would happen where, like, you know, if she thinks one of her parents are hurt, you know, she's concerned. So I didn't know I know that I don't labor or birth quietly. Yeah. So I was I didn't want her to be, you know, concerned or scared. And then later on, her watching the video, she actually did she said, mommy hurt.
Speaker 2
Mhmm. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Hurt. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2
Yeah. Well, that's really little.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I didn't know how that would be. I did want her to I mean, but she has the video. Yeah. But I did want her to be able to experience that. It all but everything played out how it played out, and I believe it happened how it happened for a reason.
Speaker 2
And you don't wake up a a baby at five AM to come watch your birth.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Like, that's the whole thing. You know what I mean? My mom was here. She was safe. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Speaker 2
Of course.
Speaker 3
It was okay for me to go have the baby her come later. So that's what happened.
Speaker 2
Okay. So you show up at the ashram.
Speaker 3
So everybody's pretty much everybody's all all gone. A couple people stayed over. And, I'm just laboring. I wake up my friend. I let her know that I'm there, and she's so tired because they literally just went to sleep. Oh, no. They just went to sleep. So I'm just like
Speaker 2
They rallied, though.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I'm like, you know what? Just go get some rest. So my husband and I continue, and then they joined us at about, I think, like, eight something, you know, after they got a little bit of rest. And then, like, they just kinda started to trickle in one person after another after another. And, you know, they began to rub me or just in that part, because I had given certain people certain tasks, but when the when it was unfolding, that's not how it played out. Everybody just picked their role intuitively.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
So, you know, my friend Maya begins to rub my back and rub my head, and my friend Vanessa begins to rub my feet and, hold the the heating pad against me or, you know, my friend Imani, she was literally, like I'm not gonna say, like, a vocal coach, but she was, like, on the vocals with me, like, chanting with me. You know? Oh. Chanting chanting with me. And then, someone else came in, and they were playing the flute. And mama Rainbow mama Rainbow came in. Like, she she got there just in time. She caught the very end, but she came in just in time because she was still asleep too. So So she had to come back.
Speaker 2
So And it so Toni Jones doesn't show up and wrap affirmations for you?
Speaker 3
So Toni was there, but Toni was in another room. Toni was in another room.
Speaker 0
It's so amazing.
Speaker 2
But that's a lot of people, but you were into it.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And you know what? Prior to when we were putting the birthing room together, Tony was there. And, like, when we were just infusing the room with intention, she sent she sent intention to the plants. Like, it was a whole bunch of plants in the room. And she was like, I'm just gonna infuse the plants with intention. And when it's time, like, they'll know, you know, they'll know. So that's what it was.
Speaker 2
I love it. Yeah. I think that video really does a good job of of showing what flow you had because, you know, I will say in my personal experience of of birth work, having a lot of people there is almost never a good idea. But then every now and then, I'll hear these stories, and I've been to a couple of births where it was amazing. And it just, like, synced up and worked, and no one was stepped on any toes, and no one tried to do anything weird. You know? And it was just flow, and it seems like that you really cultivated that with that group of people.
Speaker 3
So blessed. It was just it was organic. Like, it's it's nothing that I could've, because I'm very controlling, like, a control freak. Like, I I have to and I was because I still was in control of the birth. So I was like, oh, it's, you know, washcloths in the in the in the cabinet. Can you Yeah. Washcloth in? Let's press it against my perineum so I don't tear and, you know, it's gloves in there. Can you pick up the placenta? Okay. I want you to you know what I mean? Like, I was still coordinating everything. But as far as just, like, the energy and the, you know, everything else, it was organic and it was intuitive, and it was not a iota of fear in the room. Like, everybody was just, like, just an ebb and flow, like you said.
Speaker 2
That's awesome. Okay. So you've got flutes. You've got people rubbing you. You're only there for a couple hours. Right?
Speaker 3
Yep. I gave birth at ten forty six. And then right after that at twelve AM, because it was a Sunday, January first, They had Sunday service.
Speaker 2
Oh my god. No.
Speaker 3
A new another cohort of people was coming. So so I literally slid in and gave birth right at the perfect time between two cohorts of people. Yeah.
Speaker 2
So you left after?
Speaker 3
I ended up staying. My plan was to leave. My plan was to leave, but I just I didn't I didn't feel it. So I ended up staying for a couple days. And it was it was a really good decision. Everybody and shout out to everybody who helped me. Mhmm. Man, I could never repay you guys for how much you helped me, and I just appreciate you so much. But everybody, you know, chipped in and helping, like, bring me food, helping to wash the linen, help like, just anything that I needed, I felt so supported. And it was like, you know, at the end of the day, like, these are friends, but they're not obligated. You know what I mean? Right.
Speaker 0
So it
Speaker 3
man. I'm just grateful.
Speaker 2
And did you even know everyone that was helping you?
Speaker 3
Yep.
Speaker 2
I remember You had you had, like, some relationship with everyone that was showing up. Because it sounds like this is a community hub space.
Speaker 3
Exactly. So it may not be like, oh, like, we go back ten, fifteen years, but, you know, I've I know these people and I have had, like you know, we've shared intimate settings where we have built sisterhood. You know what I mean? And I felt comfortable. Like, I felt comfortable. They felt comfortable. So it was just natural and organic.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I love you speaking to the that there wasn't an an ounce of fear with that, you know, kind of large of a group. And and, I mean, isn't that, like, so ancient and the future? Like, that's what is available, right, with with the right group of people who are ready for this, who are conscious, and and really here to support women who do wanna rewrite birth. Right? And I love the idea of you just laying in this epically decorated chambers while people are just flowing in and out of this community spiritual house tending to the postpartum mother. Like, that's that's pretty that's a pretty epic scene.
Speaker 3
Thank you. As it's nothing that I could have ever because cause I didn't even expect to be there postpartum. I was just like,
Speaker 2
I
Speaker 3
was gonna treat it how I treated the birthing center. Like, just like, pack up, leave in a couple hours. But, you know, the difference was it's just like, I'm with my friends, and I'm I'm like, I know that I'm safe. And just my body didn't like, I did not feel up to I mean, I just had a baby. Yeah. Would've been it would've been quite a bit to, like, for me to get down those stairs and get into the car, and I was like, no. I'm gonna rest here. And I did. I think I stayed for, like, nine days.
Speaker 2
I'm sure it was such a joy too for them to have that energy in that house. That's so special.
Speaker 3
They said that the next morning after I gave birth, everybody was just, like, just floating. Like
Speaker 2
Duh. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Energy was just like, you can't even describe it. And I was just on cloud nine, and it was just, like, such a glorious day.
Speaker 2
I love how simple this has been for you. Like, just straightforward. Like, you had your first birth. You know, I I was thinking when you were speaking earlier about, you know, walking away from that first birth and just being like, oh, I didn't even really need to come. You know, that that really does take a level of what's the right word, like, just self awareness, self trust, you know, that that you weren't really interested in the story the system has, you know, for you or about you and all women. And, yeah, it's a real testament of what is possible when a mother lets things be simple and chooses herself and puts herself first and, also, your willingness to say no, you know, when the team didn't feel right to you. You know? I mean, that's just so much of these stories on the podcast is so many women who just aren't treated well, but they accept it. You know? At first
Speaker 3
At that point, everything is a choice. Right? We may not feel like we have a choice, but, like
Speaker 2
We do.
Speaker 3
No. But
Speaker 2
we actually don't
Speaker 3
Like, I hate to say it like that because it sounds so harsh. Like and somebody just invited me somewhere to, like, try to persuade someone who their personal testimony is that their first birth was extremely traumatic, and then they're now pregnant, and the care isn't so great. And somebody I know, she free birthed as well. Mhmm. Sarah Sarah is like, come on. We just gotta we have to tell her to do and I'm just like, I cannot because it's her choice.
Speaker 0
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
You know? We have a choice. And at this point, if she is refusing to do something about not being treated well, then you are actively choosing that. It's nothing that I can do or say to change that.
Speaker 2
Well, we can't we can't change and evolve without willingness to do so. And so a lot of, you know, a lot of my birth work that was in the system, I now realize was me just totally barking up the wrong tree and trying to convince women to not choose abuse. And when I left the system, and now I only serve women in a sovereign way, there's none of that, like, flavor to it. There's no there's there's no manipulation and coercion from me, right, which I can acknowledge now was a part of being a doula was I was trying to do a different version of of what the system does. And it's it's ultimately really disrespectful to the woman in front of us to to treat them that way. Right? It's infantilizing.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I totally agree.
Speaker 2
So are you are you now a birth worker? What is your deal now? And I'm assuming you didn't become an obstetrical nurse.
Speaker 3
So I ended up leaving nursing school
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 3
Like, two semesters shy of my completion. It was just like, I couldn't wake up and continue to do that. Like, I'm not
Speaker 2
Oh, okay.
Speaker 3
Playing with myself and, oh, I'm a do it the holistic way. It's like
Speaker 2
But don't be a nurse.
Speaker 3
Like, just don't be a nurse. Yeah. Because what is the holistic you know what I mean? You still have the same as my birthing class. Like, you still have to adhere to what you signed up for.
Speaker 2
Yes. Of course.
Speaker 3
So if you wanna teach herbs and it's a better way, like, you you have to do that without saying, like, oh, well, these medications are killing your liver. It's killing your kidney. It's a ton of side effects. You know what I mean? You can't you can't go against it. You you're you're with the team. You like, you signed up with the team. Right. So I ended up leaving. And then after I gave birth to my first baby, I dabbled in some doula work. After I became pregnant, I did I realized, like, this is this is the arena in which I wanna serve in. However, I realized that with two small children, I cannot just pick up and go at the drop of a dime. Like, I just don't have the liberty to just fly there freely. So I was like, okay. Well, how can I what can I do? And just sitting with that, sitting in stillness, birthing class came up. Like and especially after me taking a birthing class, like, all the classes were white. The instructor was white. I was the only person of color. Mhmm. So it's just like and I never hear women who look like me say that they took a birthing class. Like, I've never heard that. So I was like, you know what? The lane is wide open. You know what I mean? So that that's what I that's what I do now. I'm a birth educator.
Speaker 2
Okay. Cool.
Speaker 3
My goal is to equip women. And what back to what I was saying before, I did not want to get certified because I didn't wanna have to be limited or confined to the curriculum of whomever certified me and only teach what they want me to teach. So not only do I touch on, like, all the different positions, the breath work, you know, the mental work of preparing and, you know, the spiritual aspect of it and all of those things. I also talk about if you do wanna birth in a hospital setting, what you can, like, what you may be presented with, the different medications, the different procedures, and just a breakdown on it all, like, the ingredients, the potential side effects that you get what I'm saying? So I'm equipping you with all the information that's needed to make an informed decision. And I feel like a common misconception is because I had a birth and center birth and then a home birth that my class is exclusively for those who are home birthing. But in a large part, it's for women who birthing in the hospital too because the it's it's about it's my classes that it's to reclaim your power over birth. So my goal, whether you're home birthing or birthing in a in a hospital or in a birthing center, is for you to be equipped with all the information for you to be able to curate your birth, how you see fit, and what you feel is best for you and your baby.
Speaker 2
I appreciate that, but I would argue that there is no such thing as a woman claiming her powerful birth in a system that is it's not potential. It is set up on a patriarchal, hierarchical, racist, you know, it it it it's it's inherently abusive. And so I
Speaker 3
I agree a thousand percent, but I also have to be realistic with myself and, like, everybody is not there. You know what I mean? So I want you to be as empowered as you can possibly be. I want you to be able to advocate for yourself the best
Speaker 2
I again, I appreciate that, but it's a lie that a woman can advocate in that system. And and I get real, what's the right word, like, sensitive around this notion that if you just and and I'm not putting words in your mouth. This is more like the doula rhetoric I see. But if you're just informed, if you just know your choices, if you know your rights, you can avoid the medical kidnapping of your baby to NICU, and you can avoid getting sedated against your will. And it's not true.
Speaker 3
Advocate for yourself in these ways.
Speaker 2
You get punished.
Speaker 3
CPS. Hell yeah. I mean, like, I get what you're saying. Yeah. I'm just, like, I'm trying not to leave my sisters behind because I know so many of them are not here yet Yeah. Where with you and I
Speaker 2
I understand. You know
Speaker 3
what I mean? So it's like, I'm trying to, I don't know, I guess, like, send a light bulb. Like, I'm just trying to
Speaker 2
I'm with you. And I've been a
Speaker 3
good Women are afraid. Like, we're taught to be so afraid, and we are not in a many of us are not in a place where they have relinquished that fear. They still feel like it's it's something that's needed that's outside of them. You know? You know? So I I just sit and
Speaker 4
not The big
Speaker 2
the big, like, cosmic dark ass joke is that what we should be afraid of is how you're going to be treated when you submit your body, when you literally surrender your body and your baby to the system. Like, that's what terrifies me because I've seen it hundreds of times. You know? I've seen it with my own eyes. Women I love, children I love, you know, be be just totally, truly mutilated, brutalized, you know, horrific, horrific stuff. So I hear you, and I think it's an interesting conversation for birth workers and women that wanna be birth workers and childbirth educators that, yes, of course, we don't leave our sisters behind, but, also, what does that even really mean? Because the point you were making before that was we can't force someone to choose something different. Right? So Yeah. You choose. I'll say, like, for myself, what I've really gotten grounded in in the last decade because the previous decade, I was a doula in the system and a childbirth educator and all that too. But in the last decade, I've been like, I wonder what will happen if I stop trying to make any of this sound accessible. And what if I just spoke the truth and whistle blew about how fucked it is?
Speaker 3
It's so not sexy. And people be like, Like, like, when I talk
Speaker 2
about the woman credit. I give women more credit than that. I think
Speaker 3
I think talk about a natural birth. Most of my sisters are like women who look like me. I need my drugs.
Speaker 2
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Speaker 3
It's like
Speaker 2
Did you hear what you
Speaker 3
just said? You know what I mean? It's it's like the conversation is not sexy. It's not appealing. Like, they aren't there yet. So I am desperately trying to figure out a way how to bridge the gap. And it's like, okay. Come on. Like, come with me. You know what I mean? Come on. Come to class so I could tell you, okay. This is what a epidural is. Did you know that a epidural has fentanyl in it? Do you know what fentanyl is? Do you know how
Speaker 2
many people died from fentanyl? Yeah. Exactly. Have you heard of the the epidemic?
Speaker 3
Yeah. You know, pointing all
Speaker 2
the dots out. Going right
Speaker 3
to your baby. Yeah. Maybe they come out of that thinking, hey.
Speaker 2
Mhmm. I
Speaker 3
don't wanna. You know what I mean? Like so that's where I'm at with it. I just realized that everybody is not not there. You know what I mean? And I know that everybody has their own path, and everybody is gonna come to their awakening in their due time. So I'm just trying to be instrumental and play a role that I feel like can help, I guess, catapult the awakening somehow.
Speaker 2
Totally.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Speaker 2
I used to teach these classes when I was, like, straddling into sovereign birth work, and I would call them hospital birth optimization classes. And what they actually were were two hours of just breaking down what will happen. I let go of all this the untrue rhetoric of, like, knowing your rights and, like, all this bullshit because it's not true. You know? It's just not. You know? Across socioeconomic status, it's not true, which is, somewhat interesting. Like to read. Yeah. It's somewhat interesting that I've been with celebrities in hospitals and and seen similar treatment to the same treatment as when I've been in the most low income environments even with, you know, crack crack addicted moms. I have seen the same assembly line applied, right, which is which is significant in in it's an interesting layer of the narrative because the system is what the system is. It's not like rich white chicks are getting amazing treatment, you know, at all. This is a global issue. This is a woman's issue. This is a family issue. You know, this is a mother issue, and and there's something really profound around the truth that all women across the planet are significantly impacted by the harms of obstetrics. Right? But anyway, I feel you, and and I've gone through a lot of my same a lot of those same, yeah, kind of confusions. Oh, that's what I can say. This this hospital birth optimization class, it sounded like it was, come on. Learn how to optimize your hospital birth. And in two hours, everyone's jaw is on the ground because I'm like, it's all bullshit. This is what will happen to you. This is what will happen. And, you know, there's some variance, but there is a assembly line formula here. And, you know, once I started seeing women actually, punished for speaking to their rights, everything changed for me. I had a client years ago who said for months, she had said, I don't want a heplock. I have a fear of needles. I you know, I don't you know, that that saline lock here. Like, I can't have it. I'm I have a super big phobia of needles, and I'm choosing this this hospital with these midwives because you're all saying we don't need it. We don't need it. So she goes for months talking about this issue with all the midwives on rotation. The long and short of it is we show up in labor, and, of course, the resident comes in to give the heplock, and she says, you know, no. No. I can't have that. You know, we try to say, like, no. It's okay. They've already told us we don't need it. And I'm fast forwarding through the story, but it goes up to the attending OB who's actually in charge, right, who's managing all the CNMs. And he gets pissed about it and CPS gets, threatened. They don't actually get called because she capitulates, of course. Right? So after six months of them telling her that she won't need it, she actually got threatened with child protective services for not agreeing to insert a needle into her vein. Anyway so after that, I was like, okay. I have to be really careful with with what I'm saying. Because, because, yes, it's good to be informed, but I don't ever wanna feed anyone the illusion that being informed helps you in a hospital. Because sometimes the thing being informed will work against you. And if you're like, I know that it's my legal right to decline. I I I saw a woman one time say that, and, the doctor whispers to the nurse, and, something goes into her, IV port, and she went unconscious as they took her baby away. Yeah. Of course. Anyway, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3
I definitely understand.
Speaker 2
It's so intense.
Speaker 3
And it's so What I'm hearing is is just crazy too because where I am mentally present day, like, many years ago, I used to work postpartum at a at a hospital here
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
In Detroit. And, I didn't understand, you know, what I understand now. And my moms would come downstairs, and they would be so upset. And I would just be like, why are they so upset? They just had a baby. Like, this is supposed to be a beautiful time in their lives. It's like, yeah. Because upstairs, my l and d, they just got ran over.
Speaker 2
You know
Speaker 3
what I mean? So I get it. I get it a thousand percent, and I don't know. I guess I just, I grapple with how to do the work and I know. To bring and bring the people. Mhmm.
Speaker 2
You know
Speaker 3
what I mean? And bring, like, how to make it like, I I don't I I've do you make it
Speaker 2
how do you make it? Helpful?
Speaker 3
Yeah. Like, I'm not at home.
Speaker 2
I mean but, like, you started this whole but how you started this whole episode, you know, was to say, I don't wanna die. Right? Yeah. That's a pretty powerful angle to untangle why women are dying, and it's not because we aren't built to birth. Mhmm. That's not it. That is not why we're dying.
Speaker 3
In class, by the way.
Speaker 2
Say it again?
Speaker 3
That's the name of my birthing class.
Speaker 2
What?
Speaker 3
Built to Birth.
Speaker 2
So cute. Okay. You're already doing it. I love it. Yeah. I feel you.
Speaker 3
And I understand I'm with you a thousand percent. Like yeah. We just trying to trying to figure out a way of doing the work, spreading the message.
Speaker 2
You are doing it. Yeah. Yeah. But your classes are amazing, and getting women to show up to childbirth classes that are not funded by the hospital so that you can actually speak the truth is incredibly important. I'm really glad you're doing that. Yeah. Because you're in I mean, you're in this work with me. You know?
Speaker 3
We are.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Which is good. So how can women find out about you and follow you and give everyone your your stuff?
Speaker 3
Okay. My name is Jalyn Ryes on Instagram. So you can find me at j a l y n n r I s e. I currently offer childbirth education classes called built to birth. I'm also a Reiki master. And I have a couple other things in the work that I'll be coming out with soon. So just help me and stay close, and I appreciate your love and support.
Speaker 2
Have you and do you do virtual work, I would imagine?
Speaker 3
I just started doing virtual, like, last week. It was my first time. It it just hasn't been a I told you, nobody's knocking down my door. So it hasn't been a need for it at this point. That's not how
Speaker 2
it works. It's the opposite. It's that you, the analogy I use with my students at the in the Radical Birthkeeper School is you are a lighthouse. What does a lighthouse do? A lighthouse sits there and shines their light out, okay, specifically to the ocean so that the ships can find their way home. Whoever's ready to come home is gonna find that light and find their way home. Right? And so your job isn't to convince anyone. It's not to certainly not to wait for someone to knock on your door. It's to shine your light with as much clarity and focus and dedication as you can because then women know where to come when they want it and they will come. They will. I know they will because I know where I sit. I have women all over the world asking to do sessions with me, wanting to talk about how to have a home birth. Women all over the world, in countries, embarrassingly, I've never even heard of sometimes, you know? And so I know there's a space for, let's call it, a free birth coach or a home birth coach or whatever. And and I could see your virtual offerings being the the backbone, you know, with your Instagram and with your offerings being the backbone. And then you do a community class in your in your actual community, you know, once a month or seasonal. And that can have low stakes because you are putting out your virtual stuff, and it'll it'll all just kind of come together. I could see I can see it, and there is such a value. The fact that you are a black woman in Detroit who chose free birth for all of the in all of the reasons that you've laid out, you have a power in your message that I don't have. Right? And so women will wanna coach with you because of exactly who you are, what you've got, where you've come from. Right? That's how it works. And your spin on things and how you teach, and there are just like you said about the midwives, there are women out there looking for women who look like them, who have walked this path. Mhmm.
Speaker 3
And I needed that so much. Thank
Speaker 2
you. Okay. Good. Good. Because it's it's big. You know, it's a big deal. It's a big deal that you chose this. It's a big deal that you're willing to teach about it, and, yeah, I hope you stay motivated.
Speaker 3
Thank you. I appreciate you so much.
Speaker 2
Well, thank you for your time.
Speaker 3
Most welcome. Thank you for having me, and, I'm excited for everything that's to come. I'm excited to collaborate and continue to do the work. Thank you. Alright.
Speaker 2
I hope you enjoyed the show today. You can support this podcast by donating to it on free birth society dot com and leaving an awesome review on whatever platform you listen on. The more reviews, the more visibility the show gets, so let's spread the word of Sovereign Birth. We've always got a lot going on at Free Birth Society, and you can find out about all of it at free birth society dot com, at free birth society on Instagram, and opt in to my newsletter below in the show notes. We offer courses on free birth, authentic midwifery, and the blood mysteries, as well as one on one coaching, in person retreats, and, of course, our annual women's festival. Our exclusive vetted private membership is definitely something to check out if you're looking for a community of wise sisters. Together, we rise. We must speak our stories, claim our lives, and support one another. This is the living revolution, and I am so grateful to be in it with all of you. I'll leave you with our epic free birth society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 4
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of eons upon light beams of survival, withstanding the Eons upon light beams of survival withstanding the eradication of our power by design. I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in captivity. The picket line we define from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging our babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons or your poison. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention. Death, ascension. I will fly and bring her back from the star.
