Speaker 0
Into the wild, I'm going into the wild, I am. It's been a wild freedom child, since I left my roots back home. Into the wild I'm good. Into the wild I am. It's been a while, freedom child, since I left my roots back home.
Speaker 1
Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood, and beyond. Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative, we'll explore the politics of birth, and we'll analyze everything that relates to our lives as women from a feminist perspective. Here's your host, Emilee Saldaya.
Speaker 0
It's been a wild freedom change since I've left my rules back home.
Speaker 2
Today on the show, I welcome one of my closest friends and favorite people, Julia. Julia lives here in community with us, and so I'm extra excited to have her on to share her story. Julia is a truly wild mother of three, turns out soon to be four. She's a homesteader, a gorgeous, insanely talented homemaker, and really just the embodiment of strength, fortitude, and integrity. Can you tell I adore her? She's free birth twice, and the second time, she literally labored on my land, the matric rising festival grounds. How cool is that? Julia began her mothering journey quite young, having found her sweetheart at age seventeen. When Julia found herself unexpectedly pregnant, she was already living somewhat outside mainstream culture and knew she would not birth in a hospital. Sadly, though, the medical midwife she hired found ways to create drama throughout her pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. A huge awakening followed by a move from LA to North Carolina to figure out this homestead life brought Julia's and my family together in organic friendship. It's all very cute. She invited me to be her birth attendant. Our husbands met and fell in love, and the rest is her story. Though she and her family have certainly faced challenges figuring out this rural farm lifestyle, Julia consistently devotes herself to her family, her community, and to the fullness of her family's vision. Julia's two free births were really different experiences. The birth of her son, although powerful and sweet, hit her really hard. So for the birth of her daughter, she chose pleasure and presence. Julia's story is a powerful reminder that we can all make big choices in our lives and really manifest our dream realities. Come see the beautiful land that Julia fell in love with too at matriarch rising festival. Go to matriarch rising festival dot com to get your ticket today. Once you experience community here, you may just have to return home and create it for yourself. Julia will be leading the toddler yoga and the mother meetup every morning at matriarch rising festival, so come join in and say hi to my bestie.
Speaker 3
Welcome to the show, Julia.
Speaker 4
Happy to be here.
Speaker 2
This is a super exciting one for me because if anyone or for those who don't know, Julia is one of my very, very, very best friends, and she lives five minutes away from me. And we are in a very tight, special little community here, IRL. Literally, as I'm saying this
Speaker 3
to you, Johnny just texted, let's have dinner with the hippie seeds tonight on my thing. No way.
Speaker 2
Anyway and so, yeah, this is extra special because having my dear sisters on the podcast, who have free birthed is just, like, a very apex,
Speaker 3
you know, climactic experience for me. So, yeah,
Speaker 2
I'm happy to have you for all the reasons, and I I think I'll just leave it there. So, Julia, you just rebirthed your third little sweetie Petey
Speaker 4
Little Mae Mae.
Speaker 2
Who's now, like, way too old, But she's the baby of our group right now.
Speaker 4
Not for long, but for now.
Speaker 3
Long, I'm sure.
Speaker 2
Yeah. So take us to the beginning. Who are you as you enter motherhood? You became a young mother. You have this, you know, romantic story about you and your partner. So tell us who you are before you're pregnant with your first child.
Speaker 4
Alright. Well, her first child was conceived when my husband and I were both twenty one, and we are high school sweethearts, have known each other since we were, like, seven years old, second grade.
Speaker 3
I can't.
Speaker 4
And and we never, like, saw our lives going that way. By that way, I mean, like, having a bunch of kids together. But it just, yeah, it just worked out that way. And if someone had told us that a couple years even before our first solstice was conceived, we would have never believed them. It was just, like, not on our radar that we were We
Speaker 3
were twenty.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Yeah. Have this, like, wonderful, tight, lovely family unit. So even though we were young, we had both, like, lived a lot of lives already. You know, growing up in LA will do that to you. You mean you've done a lot of drugs? That too. Yes. Also that.
Speaker 3
I think when people say they've lived a lot of lives, that's, implied.
Speaker 4
Okay. It's a classy way to say it. Yeah. True.
Speaker 2
LA kid.
Speaker 4
So we come out of high school, go our separate ways. We both go to college. I go straight to New York City, and he goes to Arizona. And I, like, thought I was gonna be this, like, fashionista city girl, you know, bar hopping, riding the subway, and all that. And it was so much fun and a really, really great year. But by the end of it, we had decided to just move to Oregon together and uproot our whole lives to be together and to go from there. So we come into Oregon as these just, like, fresh faced, cute kids ready to ready to really be together and to really live together, which was, like, a mature thing to do for our age. But we went all in, and we both, like, left all those lives behind. And I turned from city girl to, like, super spiritual vegan yogi. You know? Yeah. Just constantly hiking in in nature, like, deep deep in the forest and camping and, yeah, doing doing the whole nature thing. That just, like, really became the center of our lives together. I'm doing a lot of drugs in nature too for a little while. It's a theme. Yeah. We're going to school at the time. We're academics in in Portland, and it was just, yeah, really looking back on it now, really, really special time in our lives. And we had this, like, rapid, rapid few years of self discovery and, like, really, you know, deciding who we were gonna be as individuals. And then there came a point probably right around conception of our first child's hostess where we were gonna, like, decide to either be together and, like, do this whole thing and, like, be, you know, life partners as far as we could tell or not or go our separate race. So we decided to stay together. Because of. And Thank god. There was this really funny moment right before she was conceived. We were, like, out out on the town with our friends, and there was a baby in a bar for some reason, but, like, next to us at another table. And Kyle says something to our group of friends, something like, oh, that baby is so cute or something. And our friends go, I've never heard of, like, a twenty one year old dude having baby fever before. And that was really my first tip-off that, like, there was there was this little little girl in our field who was about to change the course of our lives. And so that happens. I get pregnant with my first solstice, and we were kind of kind of already, like, on the outs of mainstream culture at this point just, like, doing the nature thing and veganism. So we knew I knew not to, like, go into a hospital right away or something or contact, like, an OB right away. Although, actually, funny detail, it must have been when she was first conceived. I still had health insurance at this point. And I go to, like, this doctor who I
Speaker 3
I love that we, like, laugh about having health insurance.
Speaker 2
Oops.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So funny.
Speaker 4
And so I go to this woman that, like, I had had a relationship with because she took my IUD out, like, a couple years prior or whatever. And, I went because I was feeling weird. I was pregnant. I was, like, very nearly pregnant, very early, maybe just, like, in, I don't know, two weeks after conception. And it was, like, the one time that they didn't ask me to take a pregnancy test there, and so, like, nobody picked up on that. And so I have these, like, nudes of newly in the in the doctor's office in the mirror, and I'm, like, very newly pregnant, which is, yeah, hilarious.
Speaker 0
Did you
Speaker 2
say you have nudes? Yeah.
Speaker 3
Wait. You took
Speaker 4
That's what I said.
Speaker 3
You took nudes of yourself at the doctor's in the doctor's office?
Speaker 4
There was, like, a nice mirror, and I was waiting for the for whatever the
Speaker 3
case is. Shit. That's funny.
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 3
Love that detail. Okay.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 4
That was hilarious, and that was the last time that I saw a doctor, minus that sinus infection thing. Whole another that is a whole another story. Whole another. And so we contact a local midwife who seemed amazing, and she was adorable, had these, like, outfits and curly hair, and she just was yeah. It seemed so great. And spoiler, was not. And, yeah, the whole pregnancy I mean, I felt amazing. I was just, like, killing it in school and hiking, and we're eating amazing food and going to the farmer's market and, like, getting really close and just getting so excited for this baby and to, like, form our whole lives around becoming parents. And then on, on the flip side, though, there's so much drama with this woman and, like, the testing and what she wants us to do and doesn't want us to do and and all this. And it was, like, the epitome of everything wrong with regulated midwifery. I mean, on every, yeah, every every single What
Speaker 2
was the drama?
Speaker 4
Oh, there was so much. Using the Doppler once, she, like, heard an arrhythmia, and so sent us straight to, like, maternal fetal medicine specialist. And then they, like, see some Down syndrome markers on their, like, extended length ultrasound, and I run out crying. Gotcha. And just yeah. I mean, oh, there's fluid in your baby's kidneys now, and, you know, you're gaining, like, this amount of weight, and you're measuring like this. I don't know if it's your baby small. Are you bit? Like, is
Speaker 2
God. They really don't know anything and just fuck with women. It's crazy.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Yeah. And I I was fucked with
Speaker 2
for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 4
And, I don't know, but we were kind of able to, like, compartmentalize that. I say we because he just goes along with, like, whatever, you know, my choices are with this kind of stuff. Because I was able to, like, compartmentalize that, and that was, like, this one part of it. But on the other hand, yeah, I was just really enjoying being pregnant, and I, like, loved being pregnant and, like, knew I really knew that everything was gonna work out. And I knew that, like, the fate of my baby was all good and the fate of me and this was all good. Yeah. But the drama just kept on going through the whole thing up until birth, up until postpartum. And it's a little a little sad to look back on, and my sweet solstice definitely, like, that imprinted on her somewhere for sure. Yeah. And so we get close to birthing time, and it's it's fall. And we had graduated college at this point, and so and I had quit, working, which was working was like teaching fifteen yoga classes a week. So I was in this really just special, like, state that I'm never gonna get to be in again. Right? Yeah. Totally. Just, you know, yeah, really floating around. And I taught all these prenatal yoga classes, and it was just so, so sweet to spend so much time with the other pregnant women, yeah, every week. And so, you know, me being a super healthy twenty one year old at this point, birth comes on exactly as it should, and, like, everything goes, you know, perfectly physiologically at least. And, yeah, it was just like a very normal birth, I would call it. And then the other layer to that is it was very disturbed and disrupted, in so many ways from cervical checks and Doppler stuff and them asking my husband to make them coffee when they arrived in my home a few hours before my baby was born because they were tired.
Speaker 2
Mhmm. Because it's about them.
Speaker 4
Like, they didn't go make the coffee.
Speaker 2
Yeah. If you if you are a midwife and you haven't spent enough time in a woman's home to know where the coffee is and how to make it, you're not doing a good job. Like, that's such a big part of the point is spend time in her home. Know your way around the kitchen. Know your way around the kitchen. So that then part of it is that then when birth unfolds, there's this, like, familiar layer to it where it doesn't feel like you're being intruded upon. Yeah. I think I I think I might have told you this before, but in LA, I started attending with quite a few midwives who they came with like, in the film industry, it's called a rider or in the music industry, whatever. In the in the industry, it's called a rider, but what it means is, they came with a list of requirements that the family had to have for her, like, certain type of orange juice that she needed and and certain type of creamer. And I would have these clients that would stress out, not knowing, obviously, when they're gonna go into labor and stress out about being stalked for the midwife.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I mean, like, early labor was definitely a thought in my mind. Like, we need to have snacks for them and not, like, out of the goodness of my heart.
Speaker 3
Okay. So they show up. They're like, not great.
Speaker 4
It's not great, but I'm doing it. I'm having my baby. I know it's gonna be fine, and, yeah, we're getting through it. It's super painful. First birth, it just it I was like, wow. This is really painful, but I love it. And my daughter is born in the water, and we look at each other, and it's amazing. And this midwife's assistant, her one job was to take some photos. And there's two photos after Solstice was born, and they're so blurry. They're it's just not a usable photo. Yeah. I'm still grieving that part. But then her cord snaps, and they rushed me out of the birth pool into the bed, and everyone is freaking out freaking out, like, trying to get her on oxygen and all these things, and I'm just, like, holding her so tight. Like, everyone it's fine. Give me some space. It's all good. She's fine. She's fine.
Speaker 2
I'm gonna get her on oxygen. Yes. Good lord.
Speaker 4
They shoot me with the pitocin. Not a word about it. You know? Damn.
Speaker 2
Just Brutal.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Like, the severe end of the spectrum of fat midwifery. You know?
Speaker 2
I would not call that the severe end, sadly.
Speaker 4
Oh gosh.
Speaker 2
Yeah. It can get, you know, it can get way worse, but it's really fucked up. It's okay. Trauma is not competitive.
Speaker 4
That's true. Okay. So postpartum is still so sweet. We just kind of, like, leave all that there, and I write her bad Yelp review, and we move on.
Speaker 3
Of course you do. That's amazing.
Speaker 2
Yeah. But it doesn't, like, mess you guys up.
Speaker 4
Not so much. The first the first few days, I was pretty freaked out because she made that call to me. The midwife made that call to me in the middle of the night and asked to put my baby's breathing on the phone. And that, yeah, that spiraled me for a couple days, and I was just, like, googling everything in the world and, yeah, just got on some bad bad web pages. You know?
Speaker 2
Wait. Just to be clear to the listeners because they obviously don't know this story, the midwife, what was it? Day one, day two?
Speaker 4
Middle of the night. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Middle of the night. She calls you and says, I'm just, like, nervous about the baby. Can I hear her breathe?
Speaker 3
That's so intense.
Speaker 4
And then it's just
Speaker 2
like, okay. Great. She sounds good, and then she hangs up and leaves you to just spin? Yeah. Wow. Wow.
Speaker 4
Yeah. So it was really, really tempting to, like, stay there in that spun out place and, like, seek out everything. But but I didn't. And, actually, it was illuminating illuminating to how much I actually really did trust myself and my baby and Mhmm. Life and things to happen as they will without extreme intervention and things. Yeah. And so, like, the takeaway from all that wasn't like it wasn't anything bad. It was actually this new confidence that I had in myself, in my body, in my family, in my baby, and mothering. And it just gave me really clear direction on, like, how I would do things, next time.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. So when does the concept of free birth enter your reality?
Speaker 4
Early postpartum, the solstice. Yeah, just like a couple months after she was born, the podcast came on my radar, and I would, like, walk around the neighborhood and listen to it and be like, oh, yeah. Obviously, that's yeah. That's it. That's it. So we're still in Portland at this point. Then we move down to LA to be with my elderly father who had a stroke the day that solstice was born, which was like this yeah. Just weird wild timing from
Speaker 2
Oh, weird.
Speaker 4
Yeah. The universe. I don't know. So we spend a few months down there. COVID happens. They shut down the beach. There's caution tape in front of the entire beach, and there's, like, golfers standing here, armed guards. And I'm like, I have my little baby on my chest. Like, what the okay. We got
Speaker 3
And, like, when they when they would, like, unhook the swing seat so that it was just chains. Yeah. I swear they put up
Speaker 4
a giant fence around the playground. Just it
Speaker 2
was They took the basketball hoops off Exactly. So that it was just the backboard.
Speaker 4
Basketball hoops, volleyball nets, all of it. I mean, it was unreal. And we never, like, planned to stay there or anything. And I actually we weren't scared we were gonna, like, get stuck there or anything, but it really gave us, the fire and the push to just, like, get out right away. So we're there for a few months, and then we start looking for land all across the country. Stumble upon North Carolina and basically just get up and move our whole family there and settle in and, like, dive head first into the homesteading thing and acquire all the animals that we can on this, little piece of land.
Speaker 2
It was one acre. Right? One acre. You blew that acre up.
Speaker 4
We did.
Speaker 2
Every part of that acre was was fruiting and blossoming. But I have a question about veganism. When do you put that to rest? Because by the time I meet you, which is pretty quick, we're almost there in your story.
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 2
You were, like, totally how you are now.
Speaker 4
Yeah. I think we, like, got some crabs from the farmer's market when I was, like, eight or nine months pregnant with Soul. I have this horrible haircut. It's like a coconut bob, and I have two crabs in my hand in this photo that we got. Crabs are what did it? Yeah. Crabs. Those are fresh. Crabs and, like, lemon buttery. Yum. Yeah. And pretty soon after that, we made, like, the complete
Speaker 2
Was there, like, a particular, like, around putting that that lifestyle down?
Speaker 4
You know, I actually did really well with it for a little bit of time. I wouldn't recommend it, obviously, for pregnancy and postpartum and all that, but it was, like, a really extreme detox for me for a couple years that, like, felt really good and, like, gave me this clean slate. I feel like Yeah. Be in better health now. But my husband, Kyle, he did not do so well with, like, only eating soy. Yeah. And so he, like, really needed to switch. And at first, I was not on board. The first time he brought a rotisserie chicken home, I made him eat it outside.
Speaker 2
Yeah. That is a strong smell if you're not into it. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4
And I had him, like, take a notepad out and, like, take notes of
Speaker 3
how he's feeling. Wait. What? Say it again.
Speaker 4
I had him take out, like, a notepad with him outside when he's eating his chicken to, like, take note of how he's feeling. Yeah. It was a it was I was a crazy vegan person.
Speaker 2
That's like a weird controlling thing about you.
Speaker 3
I didn't know. It was yeah.
Speaker 4
That is has been put to rest.
Speaker 3
Oh, that's amazing. And was he, like, wrote writing down, like, I feel great? Yes. Leave me alone?
Speaker 2
Yeah. Okay. So by the time you get this cute little acre in in Asheville, you're, like, all in the homesteading nose to tail, DIY your life consciousness.
Speaker 4
Yep. That was that was it. And we, like, knew, yeah, exactly exactly how we want to live. Leaving California, we were seeking, like, clean air, you know, clean water, wild spaces, nature spaces, and we were just really, really clear on what we wanted, and it just actualized so quickly.
Speaker 2
I mean, that's what happens. Yeah. That's what happens when people are like, I just don't know. It's like, well, yeah. Then that's where you'll stay.
Speaker 4
So we just don't When
Speaker 2
you know what you want and you can clarify it, then you can tell I mean, I say the universe, but really you're telling your own mind what you're gonna do. Yeah. So then what?
Speaker 4
And we did it. And so then I'm about one year postpartum with solstice, and we feel amazing as a family. And I feel so good, and, yeah, we're just, like, thriving and so excited and happy that we, like, made it here to this big jump. And so, naturally, we invite another baby in. And the second one, since he was definitely, like, the most conscious conception, there was, like, a metaphorical door that I opened. Cute. Have him have him join us. So I bled once postpartum after solstice and then, yeah, then following cycle since was conceived. Threw up a lot
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
Again through the pregnancy, and it was not as enjoyable this time with the little toddler. I was throwing up the whole first pregnancy too, but it was just a little bit easier to handle.
Speaker 2
Damn. So you've had mega puking pregnancies, all three?
Speaker 4
All three.
Speaker 2
Oh, man. I hope that stops.
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 2
Worth.
Speaker 4
Me too. I'm confident that
Speaker 3
I will. Think?
Speaker 2
I mean, you'll be the most mature and grounded that you will ever be with the next one.
Speaker 4
It has to stop.
Speaker 3
Right? It just Oh, I
Speaker 2
hear you. So okay. So you're pregnant. You're puking. You have a toddler.
Speaker 4
I'm pregnant. I'm puking. I'm nursing my toddler. It's hard, but it's it's great. It's just so, like, vital and full of life, and our animals are here. We're gardening, and we're cooking and baking. And, yeah, it was, like, everything that we didn't know we wanted there.
Speaker 3
We knew what
Speaker 2
alive. You're, like, fully engaged in your life.
Speaker 4
Fully. And we, like, just were, yeah, really happy with the choices that we made. And, like, we're kind of just, like, relishing relishing in that because it was kind of we didn't treat it like so, but it was kind of a big deal to, like, move across the country and opt out of all these systems and opt out of, like, me working after I have, you know, these degrees and this, like, academic status.
Speaker 2
Totally. And it's,
Speaker 4
like, choosing to stay home with my babies and bake is, like,
Speaker 3
a big deal. Well, we are literally all better off because of it. Yes.
Speaker 2
I believe Erica just dropped your bread off to my home.
Speaker 4
Oh, good. I got some cute bags. You'll see.
Speaker 3
Cute. I want you to try the cool leaf thing that I sent you.
Speaker 4
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.
Speaker 2
That is a freaking cool idea. Have you ever done that?
Speaker 4
No. I've never, like, put anything on it, but that's my scoring is, like, a little bit problematic. It's my weak spot.
Speaker 2
Yeah. But can you just put these cute little leaves on it and not do the scoring?
Speaker 4
It's possible. And then you're like, I I gotta look at the video again. I'm gonna I'll try it next time.
Speaker 2
Julia is our local baker.
Speaker 3
I'm So we're all very invested.
Speaker 4
Yes. Okay. Everyone invested at this point.
Speaker 2
You're happy. You're puking. You're pregnant.
Speaker 4
We're happy. You're puking. We're pregnant. And, yeah, just this brand new life, and it was awesome. And I we just, like yeah. So our dream's manifesting. And then you and I get connected, which I realized was there was a woman near Asheville that was, like, looking for birth support. And so you and her got in touch, Lacey.
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4
I've seen that that.
Speaker 2
Oh, right. Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, but didn't you refer her?
Speaker 4
To you. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm.
Speaker 4
Yeah. I said, like, I didn't know you personally yet, but I said, like, I knew I know of this woman who is local and, like, might attend.
Speaker 2
You were in the membership?
Speaker 4
Not yet. Okay. But then I joined shortly after once I realized that you and I were local now. And, basically, it was like, oh my gosh. Emilee can be my midwife. This is amazing. This is great. I get, like, the free birth movement leader at my birth. How cool is that? Yeah. And it it was just, like, so so special, and, like, a peak experience of wise women support. You know?
Speaker 3
If only.
Speaker 4
Yeah. If only everyone could just get out there worse.
Speaker 3
No. I mean, if only. This is not what wound up happening. Right.
Speaker 4
Right. And so, summer comes and, yeah, there's, like, all this new life around us. The goat gives birth and which has happened actually twice now.
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
I've got with my pregnancies, which is funny. Yeah. Summer comes and I'm, like, fully pregnant and finally caved on getting an air conditioning unit in our bedroom. I held off for so long, but the end of pregnancy did me in on it. Needed some needed some chill there. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm gardening one morning, and Kyle and Solstice are out on a hike because she had this, like, spurt where she would wake up at four thirty in the morning and, like, need to be awake, and I need to sleep. And yeah. So he would take her out hiking way deep in the forest. So I am just gardening like normal, and I get into, like, a deep squat to plant some seeds. And my water just exploded, and it was so exciting. I was just so excited for birth. There was, like, no hesitations or hang ups at all. It was just, like, pure excitement. And I head inside and take a shower to rinse the dirt off, and then it must have been ten minutes since the since my water broke at this time. And I'm already, like, in it, just super in it. And I called you because we were gonna have you attend our birth, and you're like, should I come now? And I didn't wanna jinx it because I thought I don't know what I thought.
Speaker 3
Well, you were playing it so cool too.
Speaker 4
I do that.
Speaker 3
You do that. And I'm
Speaker 2
two hours away at at this time, not five.
Speaker 4
And so I was like, oh, let's just give it, you know, another thirty minutes or something and see where we are from there. We didn't even make it that far before before Scentsy was born. Yeah. And it was just whoof. It was such an intense birth, such an intense experience, is probably, like, thirty minutes from the time my water broke to him being born.
Speaker 2
Oh my god.
Speaker 4
And I I couldn't catch up. No. I couldn't. I didn't. I Of course. Yeah.
Speaker 2
I didn't. And wasn't Kyle, like, hiking with his phone off or out of service or something?
Speaker 4
Right. He was out of service hiking with his phone off, and I was texting him like, okay. Come home. You gotta come home. I knew he didn't have service, but he did he did make it home, in time of, like, fifteen minutes. And him and Solstice walked in, and they were like, oh, okay. It's it's like that. You know, she's just under two at this point. She's a little baby too. So he's blowing up the pool. It's, like, obviously not gonna happen. He's, like, training his dog. You're like, what the hell is he doing? It's his dog right now.
Speaker 3
Yeah. We have to say that. You're very, very lovable, sweet, sweet husband for some reason. Buys a puppy buys a puppy, like Yeah.
Speaker 2
Right before you give birth.
Speaker 4
Couple weeks. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 4
And yeah. So I'm on all fours. I'm in my bedroom away from this beautiful bird space that I had curated, which was far away in the other room. I'm looking at my gray wall. I'm screaming, crying for help, and asking my baby to slow down. And it's just like freight train and there he is.
Speaker 2
Brutal. That's so intense. Yeah. And Solstice has the noise canceling headphones on.
Speaker 4
We have an adorable picture of her, like, hands out ready to catch his head.
Speaker 2
That's so cute.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Ready to catch her, bro. So he's born and he's great, and I have him. And, yeah, it took a little while to, like, come down from that. Just shaking and, like, what just happened?
Speaker 2
Well, it's almost like you missed the birth.
Speaker 4
Yeah. It was, like, not what I wanted, really.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Like, you think about your whole pregnancy. You think about, at least to some degree, you know, about the birth and imagine it. And then when it's thirty minutes, it's like you blink and it's done. It's it can be really, disorienting.
Speaker 4
Yeah. It totally was. And I remember a few days before he was born, I said something to Kyle, like, you know women have births that are, like, twenty minutes sometimes. I was like, there's no way that'll happen to me, though, and there's no way, like, this will go down during the daytime. There's just no way. And, yeah, he was born at, like, nine thirty in the morning. Both of which things did happen. But it ended up being, yeah, just a wonderful surprise that it went down like that because I was so excited to birth again Mhmm. Even though it was crazy. And so that postpartum time was, again, just really sweet and special, and we're in bed. I'm nursing two babies. And then when it was time to get out of bed, like, reality kinda kicked in, and I was like, okay. This is a little hard. I mean, mothering two tiny is like that.
Speaker 2
But, also, you're like you guys keep getting trapped in this weird sick cycle. Yeah. Right? I mean, that was I think a huge part of it was realizing your home had mold.
Speaker 4
Yes. It did.
Speaker 3
Because you
Speaker 2
guys it would just, like, you guys would keep getting sick, which is, like, so weird for a healthy outdoor kind of family. Right. Unless
Speaker 3
unless you're getting poisoned.
Speaker 4
Poisoned every day. Yeah. So there was, like, a basement in the home, and it's really wet out here in Western Tennessee and you know? Yeah. So I was, like, so tired, and it was, yeah, it was just hard. There was a few months where we were like, alright. Like, this is hard. We were totally up to the challenge, though, also. It was never, like not not that we had a choice, I guess, but it was always like, we were always every day, like, ready to show up as joyfully as we could and, like, cherish whatever we could.
Speaker 3
Probably.
Speaker 2
I mean, you're hearty you're hearty folk.
Speaker 4
Yeah. And I just, like, you know, I I really knew who I was at this point, which is, like, maybe kind of a naive thing to say in your early twenties.
Speaker 2
Not if it's true.
Speaker 4
Like, I knew who I was as a mother. I knew how to take care of my babies. I knew I knew what to do. Yeah. How to take care of my family. So I was confident, and we moved forward and ended up looking for land over here right by you guys.
Speaker 2
Right. So some backstory is in your pregnancy, our families start to get close. And I'll say for me as a birth attendant, that sometimes happens and sometimes doesn't. You know? Like, I'm not getting super tight with any with every single family I attend. That's not always the connection. But sometimes it is, and that's such a joy to it's such a joy when that happens because I remember you guys, really, just because you were my client, coming coming to have dinner with my family, and then our husbands just, like, bromancing so hard for each other.
Speaker 3
They still are. Yeah.
Speaker 2
I mean, they still are for sure. And just and our daughters, you know, becoming friends. And, you know, to me, that's really the essence of community midwifery, the essence of, like, everything that that matters, you know, is what what we have gotten to do over the last couple of years, which is just the beginning. You know? It's so it's so freaking cool. Yeah. So our families are getting really tight throughout the pregnancy. I don't I don't make it to your birth even close. I wind up staying on the phone with you. Mhmm. And just you know, we decide because because I would have to go over a pass where I would lose service, and you didn't want me to hang up. And so I was like, I'm just gonna stay on the phone until the placenta's out. Once we're good, you know, then I'll come. And so I'm on speakerphone in Johnny's office, and he's standing outside the door. I didn't know he was, but he's standing right outside the door listening also because you're pushing and birthing since. And then when I open the door, like, you're done. Kyle's telling me what he sees. I'm kind of whatever on the phone, and then I open the door, and Johnny's standing there with tears just streaming down his face.
Speaker 3
I He's like, you're so white. You're so sweet. Yeah.
Speaker 2
So, anyway, that's some of the backstory of how we had this really organic, beautiful, you know what was it? Like, over a year, I guess. And and we yeah. We're we're like,
Speaker 3
please move here.
Speaker 2
And thank god you did.
Speaker 4
About a year and a half, and we yeah. And we knew that, like, moving here and saying yes to this was gonna be this, like, really, yeah, profound thing in our lives. And it has been.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Right.
Speaker 4
And so we're looking for land with you guys. Oh my goodness. What a fun time. You guys are towing the towing the four wheeler around town for us, and we're riding up on these crazy mountain hillsides.
Speaker 2
That was one.
Speaker 4
Looking at, like, hundreds of acres, and it was just yeah. It was so epic. So cold. So cold. The kids are so little still at this point. Not that they're not now, but, wow, a couple years even is a big difference. So we find our our perfect plot of land, and it's this gorgeous special, like, mountaintop type of thing. And we basically sell all our shit and buy an RV and get ready to live here and do this. And we were really ready for more land to to expand everything we had going. So we're on the land in this RV, and I'm pregnant again. But I have no idea really when it happened at all. I didn't have any cycle between Sense and Mabel. Damn. And
Speaker 2
I remember you sitting at my dining table. It was when you told me, and you just looked at me and maybe some other women are were around. I don't remember the context of us hanging out, but you were sitting at my dining table, and you were like, oh my god. This is happening again.
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 3
But you
Speaker 2
were, like, both nonchalant about it and deer in headlights
Speaker 3
at the same time.
Speaker 4
Yeah. It was just such a surprise, which, like, sounds silly, obviously. Know how babies are made and where they come from, but it was, yeah, it was just, like, not something on my radar
Speaker 3
God.
Speaker 4
At that moment.
Speaker 2
So does that mean that you made the, like, kind of classic assumption that since you weren't bleeding and you were breastfeeding, it was safe to go all the way.
Speaker 3
Well, keep it PG.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Pretty much. And I yeah. Yeah. Just, like I don't I don't know. It's so naive. I was like, well, the baby won't come. Like, a baby won't come through if they shouldn't come through. Like, I'm not gonna get pregnant if it's not, like, totally aligned and meant to be or whatever.
Speaker 3
Uh-huh. Okay. And then I was
Speaker 4
like, okay. Wait a minute. I meant to tell. Did I say that?
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. But plus, obviously, another baby is great. You guys want a ton of kids, but you guys live in an RV at this point.
Speaker 4
We live in an RV, and we're trying to get a house built, but for I mean, it's raw land that we purchased. I think I mentioned that's totally raw land. There's no power. There's no there's no utilities. There's nothing. Trying to get a house built. It was just yeah. That was supposed to be our focus, and it took months to get power and water, which we did. We succeeded, and we have those things now. Don't have a house there yet, but one day. And so we're in this RV on the generator. I'm throwing up in the RV toilet, and there's two other little toddlers, and it's, ugh,
Speaker 2
it's
Speaker 4
hard. It's so hard for a while. Kyle schlepping water buckets around and pouring them in the RV. We're, like, showering outside, and it was just like this this vision manifestation thing gone a little bit wrong because in so many ways shadow side. Everything we had hoped for and everything we wanted for our lives and for our family even to, like, live this really rustic back to nature, back to the Earth life and be on the land and be with the land.
Speaker 3
And then you're like, I'd like to get off the land.
Speaker 4
I'd like a toilet on my land, and a bathroom would be good too.
Speaker 2
Fair. God. Yeah. We we we would refer to you guys as the you're in your pioneer phase.
Speaker 4
That's a cute that's a cute way to put it.
Speaker 2
Yeah. But winter was coming.
Speaker 4
Winter was coming. And, gosh, yeah, it was just this this funny thing of, like, okay. We didn't, like, refine this part of the vision properly, I suppose. And so you so graciously offer us up one of the yurts. And for a while, we were like, no. We're not doing it. We are sticking to this. We are getting this house built until finally
Speaker 3
I, like, demanded it.
Speaker 2
Yeah. I like what I've been talking to
Speaker 3
you about it. Then I finally just called Kyle and was like, you need to do this.
Speaker 4
Yeah.
Speaker 3
God. You're gonna be cold.
Speaker 4
We needed to do it. And if we fun to have you around. It was so fun. If we had no other option but to stay in that RV and do it that way, okay. But we did. We did have options, and we weren't, like, stuck in this hole. You know? There was creative ways for us to be more comfortable. That's all it comes down to, more comfortable, for a while. So we get into the year, and it was so comfortable to have, like, a big king bed again and an oven and a shower and, you know, the basics.
Speaker 2
Still no walls.
Speaker 4
No walls. But it was very telling because we were gonna end up building our own year on our land because that could be done the fastest, and we we needed something fast for May's birth. And so after living in New York, we realized that maybe it's not the number one choice for our full on forever family home.
Speaker 2
For family of five? Yeah. Yeah. Family of
Speaker 4
five and growing. So we, like, put that put the year dream on hold and started, yeah, looking for other options. And, I mean, the pregnancy is not, like, not kicking my ass. You know? I'm throwing up all the time. I have scents on my back hiking around. But I'm loving it, genuinely. Like, I loved it, and I was up to the challenge of, like, the crazy everyday sense on my back and vacuuming the rug to put him to sleep with this giant belly. Wow. Yeah. And there was, like, no part that like, I wanted all of it, and I, yeah, saw just, like, the opportunity in it. And I felt my body getting stronger and my mental fortitude, like, building. Yeah. And it was it was great. And so we find a house for our baby to be born in and come over here and get settled. And at this point, I have no idea how pregnant I am at any time through the pregnancy, really, But it wasn't really relevant super relevant till the end, I guess. And so there's just, like, weeks and weeks and weeks of every day we think the baby's coming.
Speaker 2
Oh my god. That's so intense.
Speaker 4
Because I'm contracting. My uterus is contracting, and I'm moaning, and I'm, like, grabbing onto walls and, like, pausing meals to moan through it. Yeah. And you guys are throwing me little birthing time celebrations on on boats and country nail salons.
Speaker 3
Just trying to get you through the week.
Speaker 2
I mean, it is. It's a trip to not know. That's, you know, it's somewhat unusual for this time in history to be like, well, it it could be March. It could be April. It could be May. It could be June.
Speaker 4
We have a house. We're ready. I'm big and moaning and unsure of when when the baby will come. And leading up to the birth, we were some of us girls were chatting on your porch, and you were asked something like, oh, do you have any, like, hesitations or something? And I remember saying, like, I it's just really painful. Birth is just really painful, and I'm, like, not excited for that part of it, which is so funny because, spoiler, this birth wasn't painful even though I, like, had it in my head that it was gonna be. Yeah. And so all the days are just, like, bleeding into each other at this point, and it's rough, and I want my baby here. And I'm used to just, like, living with sensations at this point all throughout the day and night. And, yeah, things started to shift a lot, like, a few days before.
Speaker 2
Well, we so in April, we go out on our double date, and you have the seafood pasta. Mhmm. And we all think you're in labor. You're like, this is, like, early labor.
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
Let's eat seafood pasta. I'm gonna puke it up later. I'm gonna have a baby tomorrow.
Speaker 4
Quite the birth story.
Speaker 3
That's not actually what happened.
Speaker 2
But we went out to dinner with you thinking this is your last meal.
Speaker 4
Yeah. Yeah. Because at that particular day, it was sensations on and off for ten hours and timed properly, like, every ten minutes or so. They were consistent. Yeah. And I I go another month after that. Damn. Woo.
Speaker 2
That's heady.
Speaker 4
And then you guys are going to Mexico. I think you had a trip, and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. My baby's gonna be born, and you're not gonna be here. So sad. And that did not happen either. You guys come and go and come back. Yeah. And then the goat gives birth again, on our land over there, and I'm just scrambling to get the garden planted because it's, like, yeah, just right around that time here in NC where everything needs to go in the ground outside. Oh, and it was just so funny trying to bend over that way and dig all these things. And it was great, though. Like I said, I had cultivated this not only physical strength, but mental fortitude, and, like, I was strong and ready. Mhmm. And then one day, I have to get down on my hands and knees in the goat pasture in the goat paddock, like, in the fence. And I was like, oh, okay. This is yeah. Alright. Things something has to be happening if I just did that.
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
Let's go poop. So a few days goes by, and then it's at the end of May. And it's just gorgeous in spring, and there's new life everywhere. And, yeah, I know my time is soon and get my hair braided after I drop the soul off at school. So I have these, like, warrior princess birth braids.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Love that.
Speaker 4
Hoping that that my hair would be braided for birth.
Speaker 3
I thought that off?
Speaker 4
I did.
Speaker 2
And then didn't you, like, come work out with us or something crazy? What did you do?
Speaker 4
We were just over there, like, laying in the sun
Speaker 2
Oh, okay.
Speaker 4
For minutes. Yeah. And they're like, are you in labor? I'm like, oh, not any more than I have been. Last month.
Speaker 3
But you're, like, on hands and knees over on the festival grounds.
Speaker 4
Yeah. And I'm
Speaker 3
like, no. I don't I
Speaker 4
don't know. It's normal. But then I get Driving. Yeah. That's oh, yeah. You were like, why are you driving? Yeah. But I I'm driving home from your place, and I'm on on this back road. I get a really big surge, and I have to, like, okay, push the brakes a little bit in the car. And it's it's a rural road. It was fine. It was safe. No one was around, but I was like, okay. I got it. Yeah. Alright. This might be something. So I get home. My oldest daughter is at school, and the boy, Scentsy, is in the car. He's sleeping. I make this smoothie that has really stuck with me for some reason. It was dragon fruit and raspberries, honey, eggs, and liver. And it was just like this bright beautiful pink, and I was like, okay. Great. If I throw up, then this will come out, and it'll be pretty. So I chugged that, and then I think I text you, and I'm like, is this Meconia?
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. Because you had some some, like, bloody show.
Speaker 4
Yeah. And it was, like, so obviously, like, nothing. But, hello. If your bestie is Emilee Saldaya, you ask Emilee Saldaya your birth question.
Speaker 2
Text her your cervical fluid.
Speaker 3
K. Text her pictures. Yeah.
Speaker 4
It's true. And so then I just get this, like, giant balloon popping feeling in my womb. But it was different than Scentsy's water breaking and, like, gushing. It it felt something, like, something internal. I don't know. It just yeah. Balloon popping inside. And I'm, like, hitting the floor, with my fist. It just, like, brings me down to my knees. And then I text my husband to come out of his meeting, and we're like, okay. Great. The baby's gonna come now. And I don't know. We thought it'd be maybe a couple hours. I was like, okay. This is the start of, like, really active labor. Here we go. Yay. Finally. And it was probably from that point. Ten minutes later, she's already born. So this timeline is kind of, weird to, like, talk about and articulate, you know, because it's just such a short amount of time. But con in contrast to Scentsy's birth, which was actually longer, this time, like, I did get with it.
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 4
And it wasn't, like, it wasn't too much or, like, over my head. Like, I was yeah. I don't know. I was there and, like, in my body and ready and
Speaker 2
yeah. You also got that that interesting phase of hanging out in pre labor, whatever, for so long and getting obviously, that is labor. Like, you were you were having sensations, and you were contending with birth, really Mhmm. For weeks. Yeah. So it's it's like a totally different headspace to be so ready. You know?
Speaker 4
It was totally different. Yeah. It's so different. And so I, get to our bathroom, and I wanna get in the bathtub. So Kyle's, like, filling the tub. He's, like, not even a quarter of the way full. It's probably two sensations just back to back in the tub before I, flip over and stand up. And I'm, like, standing up holding the wall at this point, And she's crowning, and her head is there. And I'm not, like, screaming or writhing in pain or anything. Actually, I stopped there, and I get this, like, whatever, download message transmission. I don't know. This thought comes through my head to cherish this. That was it. Cherish this as she's happening. And I was like, oh, okay. Like, this is great. And this is, like, a peak life experience right now happening right now. And I just, like, had this invitation to, like, really just bring everything there and be there with my baby. Yeah. And then I'm still pounding, and I'm I'm doing this pounding thing instead of, like, vocalizing, which felt so good this birth for me because since you birth, I'm on the phone with you, is different and just, like, really kept
Speaker 2
Mhmm. Organized.
Speaker 4
Yeah. It was clear, and I just was with it. I don't know how to say it. I was with it. I was I mean,
Speaker 2
there was also fear in the room with senses. That sounds like there wasn't with Mabel.
Speaker 4
Yeah. I was scared.
Speaker 3
Yeah. To
Speaker 4
see. I was I was scared of of the pain, really. Sure.
Speaker 2
And the fastness, just like, what is happening?
Speaker 4
Yeah. And I think, it must have been a couple hours before she was born or maybe a few minutes. I don't know. At some point, you texted me choose choose the door.
Speaker 2
The pleasure door.
Speaker 4
And so I had this, like, really nice visual of a door that I could choose, and I would say I chose it.
Speaker 2
And Thank you, Yolanda. Mhmm.
Speaker 4
And it was
Speaker 2
because you had just listened to that episode with Yo. Right?
Speaker 4
I think I I don't know if it was a few days or weeks. Yeah. But it Yeah. In one of my, like, pre labor spurts.
Speaker 2
We're referencing Yolanda's book portal and her birth with her ninth that she, in her labor, came up against this door, and it was clear to her that she could choose it, and it would be choosing pleasure and and birth without pain. So Julia and I had talked about that in the days leading up, which is what choose the door means.
Speaker 4
And so, yeah, I chose it chose it, and I got this birth that I could have never even dreamed of or imagined, like, in my wildest dreams that my baby would be born in twelve minutes. My god. Yeah. And we went to bed and birthed the placenta, and you guys brought my daughter home. And we were surrounded by ladies and food and meals.
Speaker 2
And since he stayed asleep the entire time and then just woke up once you
Speaker 3
were ready for him, like, so perfect.
Speaker 4
Yeah. And came into his new baby sister and yeah. And it's just all three of my postpartums have just been such a special special quiet integration time in our family. Yeah. And then it was already festival time a couple weeks after, three or four weeks after. And so I got to bring my new perfect little baby five minutes over to this premier women's festival, with my besties. And it was, like, so cool to just And your mom? And my mom. So cute. And I have my sweet little baby there. And then my forty days came, and we went with you guys to party in Florida, which was That's
Speaker 2
an epic way to wrap up a forty days.
Speaker 4
We took this, like, eight hour drive with all our tiny children, But it was, yeah, just full circle and perfect, really. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Pain free,
Speaker 4
I would say so.
Speaker 3
Wow.
Speaker 4
I would say so. I could not categorize that as painful. Whatever happened.
Speaker 2
You just, like, looked down and there was a head?
Speaker 4
Yes. I felt it. Like, I felt her her body, like, in the birth canal, but I was like, no way. And then
Speaker 2
Wow. Wow. Amazing. So who are you now, mother of three?
Speaker 3
Who am I now?
Speaker 4
I mean, I would say, you know, we obviously I'm evolving as I need to for my family and myself and things, but I'm pretty close to, like, the same woman I was when I first became a mother. The, like, the value systems are the same, and, my, like, responsibility to myself and my family and our community is is there and is the same. And yeah. That's it.
Speaker 3
Well, I love you, and I
Speaker 2
love your family so very much. And it is really one of my absolute greatest joys that our families have found so much depth and compatibility to co parent together and be there for each other and the highs and the lows. And it's so, so cool to get to watch you, mother, and
Speaker 3
hopefully hopefully, I can learn from you and find that damn door on my third. Anything else? Day.
Speaker 2
Oh, and and then for the moms that wanna follow you because you are gonna start Julia is a very, she's not a very boastful lady, but she's a very talented lady, and everything she does is just quite incredible. And so she, is really, like, a phenomenal, what is it even called? What's the term? Domestic goddess?
Speaker 4
That was what you coined it. Yeah. No.
Speaker 2
I didn't coin that. But but, like, everything you do is beautiful in your home, you know, the food you make and just all the stuff that you do. And so, hopefully, you're gonna put a blog out, and you started running our wild mothering calls. And I just think you embody a lot of I know that you embody a lot of the traits and skills and commitments that a lot of women are interested in learning about. I know that to be true for sure. Anyway, so how can women find you if they wanna follow your life?
Speaker 4
Yeah. You can find me on Instagram at the tended dot life. And as as opportunities arise to get more content and put it out there, we'll that'll be, like, the main hub, and everything will come through there.
Speaker 2
Beautiful. Love you. Thank you for your time.
Speaker 4
See you tonight?
Speaker 3
Yeah. See you in ten minutes.
Speaker 2
I hope you enjoyed the show today. You can support this podcast by donating to it on free birth society dot com and leaving an awesome review on whatever platform you listen on. The more reviews, the more visibility the show gets, so let's spread the word of Sovereign Birth. We've always got a lot going on at Free Birth Society, and you can find out about all of it at free birth society dot com, at free birth society on Instagram, and opt in to my newsletter below in the show notes. We offer courses on free birth, authentic midwifery, and the blood mysteries, as well as one on one coaching, in person retreats, and, of course, our annual women's festival. Our exclusive vetted private membership is definitely something to check out if you're looking for a community of wise sisters. Together, we rise. We must speak our stories, claim our lives, and support one another. This is the living revolution, and I am so grateful to be in it with all of you. I'll leave you with our epic free birth society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba Red.
Speaker 5
I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored. Eons upon light beams of survival, withstanding the eradication of our power by design. I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging out babes. Babes. Strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts, keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons all your prisoners. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention. Death, ascension. I will fly and bring her back from the star.
