00:00:06:00 - 00:00:41:00
Unknown
Into the wild and go into the wild, I am. It's been a while. Freedom, child, since I left my roots back home into I don't go into the wild I had. It's been a wild freedom child since I left my roots back home. Welcome to the Free Birth Society podcast. This is a radical space for women who are ready to celebrate their autonomous choices in birth, motherhood and beyond.
00:00:41:06 - 00:01:01:00
Unknown
Together, we'll learn about wild birth through personal narrative. We'll explore the politics of birth and will analyze everything that relates to our lives as women. From a feminist perspective, here's your host, Emilee Saldaya. Wild freedom check.
00:01:01:02 - 00:01:11:16
Unknown
Saints have left my room bare home.
00:01:11:18 - 00:01:36:02
Unknown
Oh, women, have you heard? The show is coming to Austin, Texas. Join me Saturday, November 16th for the first ever live recording of the Free Birth Society podcast. We'll have an amazing guest tell us her truly wild Texan free birth story, plus a tell all Q&A with me. It will all be emceed by the epic Austin beloved local Devon May.
00:01:36:06 - 00:01:59:00
Unknown
An actual evening of hanging out with free birthing women basking in story medicine. Yes, please make it a date night or come with your besties. It's going to be so fun! Tickets are on sale now. Go grab yours and then come hug me in real life. Link for tickets are in the show notes. I'll see you soon. I was about 21 when I decided that I wanted to be a midwife.
00:01:59:00 - 00:02:32:17
Unknown
I was really drawn to this idea of the comradery and the like, sisterhood and caring for mothers, essentially. So. So yeah, I went into midwifery very naively, not knowing what it would be like at all, and I was quite shocked with what I found, really. It was. I mean, it was so many things. It's so complex.
00:02:32:17 - 00:03:01:11
Unknown
It's so huge. The system is very hierarchical. So you have doctors at the very top, senior, you know, senior doctors, junior doctors, senior midwives, junior midwives. Then you have healthcare assistants and students sort of together maybe, and then women right at the bottom. And by women, you mean the patients. Yeah. Yeah. Women giving birth. Yeah, definitely at the bottom.
00:03:01:11 - 00:03:33:18
Unknown
And then you have this I don't know, it's it's just a lot of bullying. Particularly in the hospital that I was in. They had a particularly bad culture of bullying. But I think that is pretty universal. I learned later I actually switched hospitals because I found it so appalling. And this is how how many years were you a student midwife?
00:03:33:20 - 00:04:01:05
Unknown
Three and a half years. And so that included rounds in the hospital. Working in the hospital. Yeah. So you could straight in like first year, straight in the straight in. I remember I started in community, my first placement maybe six weeks after I started in first year. And then you go into I think I went into birth center first and then labor ward and then and then you do like your rotation of all the different.
00:04:01:07 - 00:04:33:22
Unknown
And this is you being on track to become an NHS midwife in the UK. Yes. Okay. Just want to make sure that's clear for everyone listening. So yeah. So it sounds like pretty early you're like, whoa, this isn't exactly what I thought it was. Yeah I remember my first placement is it really hit me when I was on the labor ward, and I was with a mentor who was shouting at a woman giving birth, and she was threatening her that she didn't push.
00:04:33:22 - 00:05:12:20
Unknown
She would get the doctor and get them to bring the forceps. And just like, what do you do with that? Like it was just completely like, I think I really disassociated probably around then onwards. And I was, yeah, just I could feel myself becoming a shell of my former self. And I just looked at the midwives around me, and I didn't want to be like them.
00:05:12:22 - 00:05:21:02
Unknown
And. Yeah. And my, my, you know, over the three years I.
00:05:21:04 - 00:05:54:15
Unknown
I continue through all my placements and had a particular interest in home birth. That was something I felt really passionate about. And I was I felt passionate about being calm and just like keeping it very simple. And I felt most at home in the kind of birth center or home birth setting. But I unfortunately wasn't able to do a home birth like witness at home birth or do a placement because I had to reset a labor ward placement.
00:05:54:17 - 00:06:22:07
Unknown
So yeah, they didn't. They kind of obstructed me from doing home birth experience. Yeah. So three years down the line, I, I want to complete my midwifery, but I kind of know at this point that it's not something that I want to continue with you. Did you have the language for. Why not?
00:06:22:09 - 00:06:49:18
Unknown
I didn't really have the language. No one around me was really questioning things, right. I felt like a complete outsider, actually. I because I was questioning things and then I was sort of being, I don't know, it felt like I was. That wasn't welcome very much. Wasn't welcome? Yeah. And I, I made my own life very hard because I asked questions.
00:06:49:18 - 00:07:12:04
Unknown
And I have always that's just who I am. Always ask questions. And just why are we doing things? Why are we doing things this way? And why are we not doing it this way? And can we try this? And that just wasn't a culture of curiosity that was very much shut down. So I felt it. I didn't really have.
00:07:12:06 - 00:07:33:03
Unknown
Yeah, I don't know if I had the words, but my body felt it most. And that was the thing that really alerted me to the fact that I couldn't continue because my body was in crisis. Basically, I was having like migraines all the time. I was just incredibly anxious all the time. I, I was a bit of a mess, to be honest.
00:07:33:03 - 00:07:55:01
Unknown
And when I wasn't on shift, I'd come home and just be recovering. And that wasn't a life that I wanted to lead. So was it framed in your mind like, oh, I'm just not up for being a midwife. Like, it's just so taxing on me. It's just so, like, hard on me versus, like, my nervous system is fucked up from abusing women.
00:07:55:01 - 00:08:23:19
Unknown
For three years. It was. I saw it then as it's just a complete shit show, okay? And I saw it as it's a problem of so many. There's so many things. It's such a complex issue. One is that it's just it's a set of guidelines and policies that are designed for the masses, that doesn't fit for the individual.
00:08:23:19 - 00:08:46:07
Unknown
That for me, was just just a very clear issue that has such widespread consequences and meant that I couldn't look after women how I wanted to and how I what I knew they needed, just on a very instinctual level. And I didn't want I felt this conflict like this permanent internal conflict when I was like having to, you know, write notes permanently.
00:08:46:09 - 00:09:25:00
Unknown
Check the CTG, like, fiddle with CTG straps, like, deal with medications, all the bits that you have to do and all the multitasking felt completely and conflict with being with the woman, just being with her. And that was what I wanted to do. And that's what I knew that women wanted. And I just saw them being corralled and coerced and having experiences that they didn't want, and that left them kind of shell shocked and and yeah, I just knew that there was better than that.
00:09:25:00 - 00:09:36:20
Unknown
And I didn't know what it looked like at that point. So I hadn't seen it, I hadn't experienced it or witnessed it for myself.
00:09:36:22 - 00:10:19:11
Unknown
Well, we I think for so many of us who grow up with this, like vision of midwifery or this kind of, you know, maybe it's some sort of remembering. Maybe. Maybe not, I don't know. But I think the women who are really called to midwifery young for, for like the real reasons, like the authentic, you know, reasons when this is the only path in front of them, it's super weird and doesn't fit the the sense of what you're called to do, like you're talking about, of actually being with women, you know, it's like putting a totally different frame or paradigm onto what is otherwise a really pure vocation.
00:10:19:11 - 00:11:00:21
Unknown
It's like a spiritual calling, you know, to serve in such a significant and pure way. And then the path laid out ahead of you and most people is to go through this very patriarchal, very hierarchical, like medical route, but call it midwifery. And it's confusing. You know, I think, I think women I guess what I'm saying is it's so heartbreaking how many well-intended women who are called to midwifery get captured by allopathic and then can call that midwifery and they don't actually get to do their souls calling or not get to?
00:11:00:22 - 00:11:25:23
Unknown
I mean, you could choose to, but when they get captured, they do something very different. Yeah. And it is a capturing I think. And it is a choice of course. And I chose to leave. But I also heard so many midwives say this is wrong and I can't leave because I've got mortgage to pay. You know, those trappings that are all connected with everything.
00:11:26:01 - 00:11:46:10
Unknown
Yeah. And, and you know, the whole mindset of the, the type of people who get captured are very much those who want to help and feel like it's their duty to stay and to kind of sacrifice themselves and be a martyr. But I knew that I couldn't do that. I knew that if I went on, I would just sort of die a sort of spiritual death.
00:11:46:12 - 00:12:17:15
Unknown
That's how it felt at the time. And I knew that there was better. I didn't know what that was. I was pretty wrecked, but I just knew I had to leave. So I did, and I kind of I went and worked in a completely different sector. I worked in the homeless support sector for three years, which was a complete like that was felt very own taxing in comparison.
00:12:17:17 - 00:12:36:15
Unknown
And I actually really enjoyed it. And I kind of closed that the lid on midwifery and I had a real grief around it, and I, and I would often sort of feel like, oh, do I go back there and I want to go back there because it feels it's my calling and, and I just and I can't.
00:12:36:16 - 00:13:03:09
Unknown
And I remember one midwife I spoke to who was then a private midwife who had left the NHS, said that it felt to her when she left, like leaving an abusive relationship. And I can definitely, I can definitely understand what she was saying, like the the kind of claws that it had in me was still there, still trying to sort of pull me back.
00:13:03:09 - 00:13:32:06
Unknown
But I knew that it I knew that it wasn't healthy for me or for anybody else, but I knew also that my that part of myself was still there, but I, I yeah, it was another maybe five years before I sort of opened that box again. And then I went from the angle of doula. I did a doula training, and I attended one woman as a doula, and that felt much more aligned, like I was actually able to be with her.
00:13:32:06 - 00:14:08:18
Unknown
And, you know, just what kind of setting was it? She was in the hospital. She didn't want a home birth. It was her third child, but it was the back of her. Second was a cesarean. And luckily it went very smoothly and very quickly. But it was a case of luck that she that it went quickly for her and that basically wasn't time for intervention, in my opinion.
00:14:08:19 - 00:14:28:00
Unknown
But that didn't feel right either. Like it felt much better. It felt much, much better. And, you know, I wasn't having to like, right notes and like, fiddle with machines. I was just able to to sit with her and, and rub her back when she wanted me to and, you know, put a cold flannel on her head and give her water, that kind of thing.
00:14:28:02 - 00:14:52:23
Unknown
And that felt good. But it didn't feel like I my whole body again just tensed up when I went into the hospital. Okay, sisters, listen up. This is really big and really important if you are a sovereign birth worker of any kind. If you are working with women holistically, totally independent of the medical system, the worldwide Sovereign Birth Professional Directory is finally here.
00:14:52:23 - 00:15:20:03
Unknown
I am thrilled to announce that the Match of Birth directory is live. This is a long time coming and something we have been working really hard on behind the scenes that is going to majorly support the longevity of the birth liberation movement. We are contacted here at Freiburg Society on average 100 times a week by women around the world asking for our help in connecting them to sovereign birth professionals.
00:15:20:04 - 00:15:39:21
Unknown
So that really guided us to create something that fills a major need. No need to be underground anymore. No need to be at a loss of how to find your clients, or in reverse, where to even start looking for a radical birth keeper. We did the hard work to create the network so that you beauties can all find each other with ease.
00:15:40:03 - 00:16:02:09
Unknown
So here's the deal. Through the end of the year, we are in taking professionals who offer sovereign pregnancy and birth support. So that's coaching, education, birth, witnessing any and all of it. Women who offer postpartum support of any kind, women who offer holistic fertility and psycho coaching, and women who offer birth trauma integration sessions. Now this can be live in person or virtual.
00:16:02:10 - 00:16:25:11
Unknown
If you are a professional that offers anything within these categories, you need to head over to match or a birth directory and get yourself listed. If you're a woman or a mother seeking these services, you can drop your name on our waitlist and be the first to hear when we go public. So all of you, but especially those of you in the professional world of birth, head over to Match Rebirth directory.
00:16:25:12 - 00:17:01:20
Unknown
Com and join the network. When I went into the hospital and I wanted to run away, it was the feeling that I got when I went in to support her. So then another. I'm also at this time also farming. I'm a yeah, growing and setting up a farm with some friends and so not doing much in the in the birth work world.
00:17:01:22 - 00:17:48:09
Unknown
And and then I become pregnant in 2022, beginning of, and I was actually at a for passenger ten day silent retreat at the time when I sort of realized that I might be pregnant, which was such an amazing time. It was really wonderful. The first day of the retreat, I was sat down, and that should have been the day that I came on my period, and I was really regular and I didn't come, so that was a real signifier, but I was just I was in for passenger, so I was very much with the sensations in my body and not in my head.
00:17:48:09 - 00:18:18:06
Unknown
So I just made like a little note of it and then thought to myself, well, we'll see what happens. And then, sure enough, the days went by and each day my period didn't come. And I thought, okay, well, we'll see what happens the next day. And it didn't come. And then it was not until my partner Sami picked me up at the end of the retreat, and after about half an hour of chatting, I sort of mentioned that my period hasn't come.
00:18:18:07 - 00:18:54:06
Unknown
And he was like, oh, having a baby. And I was like, I feel like we're having a maybe at this point, maybe, baby maybe. And then, you know, a few more weeks passed and it turned into we're having a probably. And then. Yeah. But yeah, I actually really credit Vipassana for the teachings that it gave me that I used in labor and actually postpartum and just every day up, you know, up until now.
00:18:54:08 - 00:19:31:13
Unknown
Yeah. So pregnancy, I'm still, pretty indoctrinated, you could say, and, and also aware of the way that things work in maternity, in the maternity system. So I remember thinking, I want to experience what it's like on the other side. So as a pregnant woman. So I went along to my appointments. I requested that, like you sign up with an ace.
00:19:31:15 - 00:20:00:22
Unknown
Yes. And you're okay. Got it. Yeah. So that's interesting. Yeah, yeah. For being like, I can't handle working here, but have you did you have any reference point for anything else yet? No. So free birth was just a word, really. It's a word that I had encountered. And and I knew that women did it. And it wasn't in my life.
00:20:00:22 - 00:20:31:07
Unknown
It wasn't part of my consciousness. It wasn't something I did or thought about doing at all. I was all about home birth. Like I knew I wanted a home birth. Definitely. Definitely. So yeah. So I went along to my appointments. I requested that I see the same midwife because to me, continuity was a slightly less bad way of doing it, in that I knew that the midwife would learn to, you know, we'd grow a relationship of some kind, and she'd learn to trust me.
00:20:31:07 - 00:20:56:22
Unknown
And I heard some degree, and then she would be less suspicious of, you know, my body of of everything sort of going on in that kind of realm. And there'd be less chance that she would try and coerce or kind of what about what you knew about the on call schedule with, like, getting her at your birth, though?
00:20:57:00 - 00:21:38:06
Unknown
Well, so at this point in time, home birth services were suspended. So this was 2022. So, you know, the case was that they were still recovering from a lot of midwife midwife midwives leaving and sort of Covid disruption. So the home bus service wasn't something that was running. So I was pretty. Yeah. Like, you know, pretty Invicta I would say pretty like, oh, this is not fair.
00:21:38:07 - 00:21:49:14
Unknown
Like, you know, I worked in midwifery and there's a very about and now it's my turn and I can't have my home birth kind of thing. And.
00:21:49:16 - 00:22:16:13
Unknown
Yeah, I explored every single option that I felt was available. Like, I explored going moving my we were living on a narrowboat at the time. I explored moving that to a different city so that we could access, like birth center. There. We visited the birth centers, lots of different birth centers, but none of it felt right. I, you know, explored even going to hospital.
00:22:16:17 - 00:22:46:13
Unknown
I went on a tour to the hospital and my whole I felt my whole body just tense up and I was like, no, no, exactly what I thought would happen. But I at some point realized like, oh, I don't have to try and mold to this situation. Like, I can just stay at home and see what happens. So, yeah, but it took a while.
00:22:46:14 - 00:23:10:05
Unknown
Like I really considered birth center and hospital because the hospital in my city doesn't actually have a birth center either. It's just labor ward. And then the birth centers were in other towns around. Yeah. So I actually had a.
00:23:10:06 - 00:23:50:22
Unknown
Doula as well who suggested free birth. She planted that seed quite early on and just as an option. And so that had been planted. And it wasn't until I was maybe 35 ish weeks. And that's when I really started thinking about free birth. And it went from thinking, I'll just stay at home and see how things go to I'm going to free birth.
00:23:51:00 - 00:24:20:14
Unknown
At that time. And that shift was like it felt monumental. I was I remember a point where I realized that if I didn't invite anyone into my space, who into my home, who I didn't know and didn't trust, then I didn't have to do any of this advocating, which is a word that's often used in the world and the midwifery world advocating, which to me is just fighting, like fighting.
00:24:20:14 - 00:24:51:05
Unknown
Well, really what it is, is asking permission, you know what I mean? Which results in that sense of fighting. But the whole concept of advocating for yourself is being like, please, can I can I please not do this? Could you please not do this? Like it's so insane that adult women are willing to go into these really gnarly, predatory, you know, institutions and then be like, but please, God, I know.
00:24:51:05 - 00:25:16:10
Unknown
And the kind of maneuvers it feels like a chess game, almost of like, you know, you never know what the attitude of the midwife is that you're going to have. You don't know who she's going to be, don't know what mood she's going to be in. You don't know. You know, there's so many things to consider that I once I realized I didn't have to do that, that's when the word free birth really came alive.
00:25:16:10 - 00:25:36:21
Unknown
I was like, oh, man, I just like to say, I think if we're going to say it's like a chess game, the mother only has half her pieces on the board like it's it's an unfair matching. Right. Like she's only got a couple of players and then there's a full of full arsenal on the other side going against you know.
00:25:36:23 - 00:26:07:02
Unknown
And she hasn't been told all the rules either. Totally. Okay. Yeah. Only only one. Only the opponent knows the rules. Yeah I mean I think it is it is a very liberating and very important, you know, thing for everyone to realize that for you to have a home birth, you don't need anyone else there. And we've gotten so brainwashed to think that home birth means a medical provider is with you at your home, which is almost funny.
00:26:07:03 - 00:26:36:12
Unknown
You know, like a home birth means you have a baby at home. You need a home in order to have a home birth. That's what you need. You don't need anyone. I mean, I hear, you know, I coach women from all around the world, and I hear these wild, creative, stressful, dramatic stories of how women, you know, on small islands or in places where there aren't medical midwives, like, import them in and, you know, all this expense and fly to places where there's just so they can have their home birth.
00:26:36:12 - 00:27:08:07
Unknown
And it's like, oh my God, that's not what you're doing. That's not what you're doing. You're trying to have a medical midwife assisted birth. You can just have a home birth. You know, it's it's really speaks to how successful the language has been manipulated. Yeah. It's like a colonization of birth, isn't it? Like it doesn't belong to you anymore.
00:27:08:09 - 00:27:45:00
Unknown
So. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a big deal for you to be like, whoa. I actually am just gonna stay home. Yeah, yeah. And I could really start visualizing myself giving birth at home. Once we moved off of our boats and we had the opportunity to rent a house, this beautiful little house in a woodland. And it went from being because a narrowboat, which I absolutely love, but it's basically a corridor next to a public footpath.
00:27:45:01 - 00:28:37:04
Unknown
I just couldn't know, couldn't quite imagine myself, you know, completely letting go and like, you know, making the noises I wanted to make and just feeling really free. So as soon as we moved into this house, I just felt like this. Oh, I can see it now. I can see it and and. Yeah, I just really I stopped working at the farm about 36 weeks, about the same week that we moved house and just started really slowing down and yeah, going inwards and going on lots of wild swims and singing with the women from my women's circle and yeah, just and, and and learning all my fears which, which was the work that I
00:28:37:04 - 00:29:01:01
Unknown
was having to do at that time. And I had a lot, a lot of them really come up that were, that were there from my midwifery days. So yeah, it was quite an unraveling and unlearning. So did you know anyone who free birth? Like who did you talk to? Who did you how did you resource yourself for such a crazy thing?
00:29:01:03 - 00:29:33:02
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was very selective about who I told. And yeah, I just, like, drank up as many stories as I could. The free birth society. Just listen to all of those episodes I spoke to and sought out women like, online who had had free births. I spoke to friends, and if they knew someone who had a home birth, I would contact them.
00:29:33:02 - 00:30:05:10
Unknown
And I'd have telephone conversations where women, you know, that I'd never met before would tell me their birth stories are just so lovely. I really cherish that. And, and a friend. Well, it was a a friend of mine who I've never actually met, from the online world, who had a free birth, who also lived on a boat, told me about The Complete Guide to Free Birth.
00:30:05:12 - 00:30:43:16
Unknown
And so The Complete Guide to Free Birth. Which friend who doesn't know Emilee and Yolande did was, like, instrumental in my own learning. And my. Yeah, I felt completely guided and held by that, actually, as well as the stories that I was hearing and collecting. Yeah. So I was 42 weeks and three days, when I went into labor.
00:30:43:18 - 00:30:46:19
Unknown
And.
00:30:46:21 - 00:31:16:19
Unknown
In the weeks following up to that. So I was still I stopped attending midwifery appointments at about 37 weeks. Because I felt like it wasn't the energy that I wanted to invite into my space. And I was just really noticing that, you know, when I came out of those sessions, I was just feeling kind of separate from my body, very much in my head and more stressed and more fear, even though I knew I knew what I was looking out for.
00:31:16:19 - 00:31:38:10
Unknown
And I knew the kind of moves, if you like, that midwives would utilize to try and but it's still a field, you know, it's still. And this is where I think women really need to understand. Like it doesn't matter how strong you are, it doesn't matter how much you know, it doesn't even matter if you were a medical midwife student.
00:31:38:11 - 00:32:06:20
Unknown
It's a field of consciousness. It's a field of energy that when you are in it, man, it's hard, it's dark, it's heavy. It it is all the stuff you're describing. And I think, you know, I see so many women be like, well, I know enough that I can like, hold my own. And I think that analogy we, we made up is, is, is maybe, maybe a good one is like, okay, but you are you have half your pieces and you don't know the rules.
00:32:06:20 - 00:32:35:19
Unknown
You think you know the rules and you're wrong. You know, I mean, I mean, maybe you can know some of the rules, but but no one gives a shit and you have no power, right? No. Gives a shit. No one gives a shit. I mean, that's that's essentially. Yeah. I think there's a lot of truth in that, unfortunately, because, you know, the focus is essentially on maintaining registration and ensuring that you're not litigated against as a midwife.
00:32:35:19 - 00:33:19:04
Unknown
So that felt that felt like the main concern. And, you know, I'm sure there's midwives who who do a much like a much better job than what I'm kind of making it out like. But yeah, but they have the same, they have the same. They're up against all the same stuff that you were and that you've described. You know, I don't, I don't I think I mean, I'm going to say that I think the only way that you can do this job long term is to, what's the right word like is to let go of that really pure part of you that wants to be in full presence and really serve from this.
00:33:19:05 - 00:33:45:11
Unknown
Like, I don't think you can do that and stay in this job and survive emotionally. You know, it's almost this, this difference of is it a job or is it a calling. And I think that midwives and it just midwives, you know, women that work in the hospitals, that shit's a job. That's not your calling. It's not spiritual midwifery that is checking the boxes high volume, you know, keeping your head down, doing what you can.
00:33:45:11 - 00:34:19:16
Unknown
I'm not saying that there aren't good people in those systems. Of course there are. There's good people everywhere. It's about, you know, so much more than that. People, like, get so upset when I say stuff like that. But come on, you can't actually, like you said, be one on one, be with the individual when you are under such a, I mean, you know, the shifts alone are abusive, you know, like much less the actual job description and then the pecking order and all the ways you're trying to keep it together and just literally do your job so that you can get your check and go home and be with your own kids.
00:34:19:16 - 00:34:55:02
Unknown
You're not you're not able to be resourced enough or hydrated enough, or slept enough to show up in the way that we're talking about. I don't think it can happen in the system. No. And I completely, completely agree. It's just like way too many demands on an individual. And this idea that you are responsible over women is extremely heavy and like an impossible sort of idea as well.
00:34:55:04 - 00:35:24:23
Unknown
Idea. Yeah. He's like unborn creatures. You're also. Yeah, it's an impossible. And then it's also pitting in many ways. It's pitting the medical midwife against the patient. If there's any sort of friction or requests that are beyond what's appropriate for her, her for the midwives own like culture in the ward and with who's on, you know, like the whole thing is really tricky politics to navigate.
00:35:25:00 - 00:35:45:03
Unknown
Even the most well-meaning midwives or nurses who really want to be with this patient and really want to see her and honor her and hashtag advocate for her, it's still not able to be done in an ethical way because of all the other stuff that they're having to juggle and navigate. And, you know, you know, you know, all the stuff.
00:35:45:03 - 00:36:12:13
Unknown
But there's this like pitting against, you know, a woman on woman, you know, bullshit. That kind of by design has to happen. Ultimately, when the midwife is in a position where she has to look out for herself in this toxic dynamic, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like a survival is like, the midwives have to find a way to survive.
00:36:12:15 - 00:36:34:01
Unknown
In a month, she's going to get in trouble. Like, yeah, if she's going to get in trouble easily, if she steps outside of what her superiors want, what's expected of her, I mean, there's there's only so much wiggle room for a nurse or a medical midwife in the hospital before it gets weird in the pecking order. Yeah. I mean, would you agree?
00:36:34:03 - 00:37:07:10
Unknown
Totally. Yeah. With everything you said. Yeah. Yeah, completely. Okay, so you're. You are at the fort, you're 42 weeks and a couple days and you know, you're going to free birth. You've resourced yourself. You did your last NHS thing. It didn't feel good. So you stopped doing that. What else is there to to say if anything. Pre birth.
00:37:07:12 - 00:37:26:19
Unknown
I think I felt really strongly, particularly towards the end of the pregnancy, that those I wanted to be really intentional about who I was spending time with and what I was consuming, not only, you know, food and and drink, but also.
00:37:26:20 - 00:37:55:11
Unknown
In terms of information, in terms of, yeah, the energy field that I was in. And I got really irritated with, you know, the impatience that people were having. So I was 42 weeks now. And, you know, babies don't babies can't go to 42 weeks. Can't they, like, do they let you do that or those kind of comments that, yeah, I was surprised actually at how irritated I felt.
00:37:55:11 - 00:38:24:09
Unknown
But there was a lot coming up. And so, and I had the hospital calling me every day at some point around 40 weeks. Yeah. So because you just kind of stop coming. You didn't like, break up with them? No, I didn't break up. I just explained that I didn't feel the, you know, didn't feel it was necessary and all was good and kind of, you know, put a little balm on it as well and said, you know, you'll be the first people I contact if I think there's a problem.
00:38:24:10 - 00:38:51:11
Unknown
And, you know, which was important to to do it that way. Because always in the back of my mind was, you know, you don't want to do a social services referral. So being very mindful of the way that I interacted with them, because I was very aware of that from my training, that it's always at the discretion of the midwife.
00:38:51:11 - 00:39:29:17
Unknown
And, you know, if egos feel bruised, then there's more of a chance of referral. So yeah, that's just how it is. Unfortunately, it's a very real part of it. And even even just even more simply, it's very easy for someone who's been seeing you prenatally to know that you haven't given birth because you haven't contacted them to calculate that you're 42 weeks and be genuinely concerned at how stupid you are that you you know what I mean?
00:39:29:18 - 00:39:57:18
Unknown
Like what an unfit, stupid, neglectful woman who is genuinely putting her baby at risk. Like her baby's going to die if she doesn't get induced. You know, like there's a lot of righteousness in the brainwashing that it is their duty to step in with these stupid women who don't know what they know. And it is, I think, so much to do as well with the relationship.
00:39:57:18 - 00:40:12:11
Unknown
So that there wasn't the midwife I had seen all along that was calling me necessarily. It might have been her, but it was, you know, it gets passed along. If she's not on shift that you get passed to the midwives in the unit who would call you, and they've never met me. And then they're very concerned because they've never met me.
00:40:12:11 - 00:40:30:22
Unknown
And how do they they don't know who I am and how I think big system. Yeah, the big system. So it's a scale thing as well as a relationship thing and yeah, all for an end to the mix. So I told them at some point, don't contact me like you can contact me in a week, just don't contact me anymore.
00:40:30:22 - 00:41:01:18
Unknown
So, that was, Well, you know, it's kind of pitched as this voluntary free service, but actually, you're, you're opting into, like, a big daddy super, you know, surveillance program. You know, I mean, I have interviewed a lot of women who didn't call the NHS midwives and had social services. Yeah. Up there postpartum, you know, of course it's it's so intense.
00:41:01:20 - 00:41:11:20
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. I mean the postpartum stuff. Yeah. Or maybe touch on that later, but,
00:41:11:22 - 00:41:39:16
Unknown
Yeah. So you're able to kind of push them off. Don't call me. I'll call you. Yes. And so things are fairly settled. It sounds are fairly settled. Fairly settled. Yeah. Yeah. Fairly settled. I, I didn't know many people or any people around me who had free. I did feel kind of I did feel kind of isolating.
00:41:39:18 - 00:42:05:08
Unknown
But I also had this really intuitive sense that I just wanted to be, you know, I wanted to be around people who I felt really comfortable with and like sisters who who I loved and, you know, and, and what I felt really called to do was sing, and that felt like something that would bring on labor and and I yeah, we gathered with, with my women's circle and we had a sing.
00:42:05:10 - 00:42:36:18
Unknown
I ended up singing that song that a friend taught us that day in early labor, which was really lovely. Yeah. And, and. Yeah, so the day that I went into labor, it was, it was October, I think it's quite a sunny day. And Sami was on the farm working, and I'd asked him to come home bit that day because I'd felt like I needed him around a bit more.
00:42:36:20 - 00:42:57:13
Unknown
And I'd like to go on a walk every day, but I was getting slower and slower each day, like slower than snail's pace at this point. And my hips were like. I didn't really think of anything of it at the time, but they were just so clunky and I was so slow. Baby, I think was just really low.
00:42:57:14 - 00:43:28:08
Unknown
But at the time I didn't really, you know, think anything of that, really. I know the here nor there. It was just part of pregnancy. Those usual feelings of am I going to be pregnant forever is that, you know, googling has anyone ever been pregnant forever? No, they haven't. But that morning I'd had a nap, which was quite unusual for a couple of hours.
00:43:28:08 - 00:44:01:16
Unknown
And I had a really, like, lovely, like, warm, glowing, really gradual contraction in the morning. And I felt kind of spacey that day and just sort of plodding around, tying up some last bits. And Sammy came home about midday, and I got the number of a woman who had free birthed her first baby, and she'd gone to like 43 weeks plus plus a few days.
00:44:01:18 - 00:44:17:17
Unknown
So I called her up. She told me her story, and that was so lovely. I was so grateful to her because I came off the phone and I went into labor.
00:44:17:19 - 00:44:53:15
Unknown
The medicine of story. And actually I wanted to touch on as well, that this birth really taught me about the power of dreams, because I had meditated on the birth that I wanted, and I had been, you know, like a self-proclaimed realist up until then and thought, you know, I was quite hesitant to do a meditation on what I wanted, because to me, that felt like setting myself up for disappointment.
00:44:53:16 - 00:45:05:13
Unknown
But then I did it anyway. And I ended up having that birth that I had dreamed of.
00:45:05:15 - 00:45:11:07
Unknown
Which, yeah, I feel.
00:45:11:09 - 00:45:41:12
Unknown
I tie that in with a lot of the the work that I do now with women and in pregnancy circles and with coaching and working with women. And you know that the power of dreaming and knowing your desires and illuminating them before you is incredibly powerful. And I've, you know, seen that now, I've experienced that. And that thread also links back to when I was a midwife.
00:45:41:12 - 00:46:12:20
Unknown
I was doing my midwifery training, and I knew that something better existed, but I didn't quite know what it was. And then through this birth, I then was able to have evidence of what that was and know that. Oh, okay. And it opened up this whole other world. Well, I think there's a there's a really important difference between planning and dreaming, you know, and I think, you know, women who aren't familiar with that will think they're the same thing at first.
00:46:12:20 - 00:46:34:11
Unknown
And you have to kind of untangle it's one thing to sit down and plan, you know, like when women tell me, like, I'm going to have a water birth and my baby's going to be born on, you know, I was like, okay, like, you think you have a plan. That's not the wisest thing, you know? But that's really different than wonder and dreaming fantasy.
00:46:34:11 - 00:47:01:21
Unknown
And you know what? If it was like this. What if it was like that? And. Oh, that sounds like it would be so nice if I had that. And, like, opening up that creative consciousness creates bigger and wider possibilities. Right. It's like uncapped, you know what I mean versus planning. And so I think I know a lot of women are hesitant to dream because they first think they don't want to get disappointed if it doesn't go that way.
00:47:01:21 - 00:47:25:22
Unknown
But that's a plan that's a different you know what I'm saying? Yeah, totally. Yeah. It is a creative, unveiling, isn't it? It's like what is possible? What is possible? Where can I allow my mind to go? Where where does it want to go? What does my heart want? Right. Women don't even ask themselves for their entire life.
00:47:25:22 - 00:48:04:05
Unknown
What do I really want? Women don't ask. What do I want out of a marriage? What do I want out of my career? What do I want my house to look like? What do I want my birth to be like? I mean, women are in such a reactionary, uncreative state, in such a survivalist state until they're not. Obviously, they're also not in that, but until they're not, you know, it is kind of a it takes some work to kind of deprogram out of the matrix, as they say, you know, to really get willing to ask yourself what you want and then get willing to have it, which is what's so cool about the catalyst of
00:48:04:05 - 00:48:40:08
Unknown
a sovereign birth, like the possibilities embedded in that. And pregnancy really asks that or could ask us, what do I really want? You know? And then like you said, you know, people actualize. It's so cool. It's amazing. Yeah. I don't think I'd ever experienced anything quite like that. I think I think I'm someone who's quite, especially in the years before that, very in touch with, you know, going for what I want and, and being in my heart space since leaving midwifery actually.
00:48:40:10 - 00:48:56:08
Unknown
But that idea of actually meditating on what I wanted and that exact thing happening was new to me and, and wild, really. So I.
00:48:56:10 - 00:49:22:09
Unknown
Yeah, I went into labor after this conversation. We were going to go on a walk, like a bit further afield, but I felt like just going on and walk around our house was a good idea, and I didn't really know why. I was just, you know, going with the flow. And so walking through the woods and with my partner and my dog and singing this song that I had sung with the women a few days previously, and the sun was just going down.
00:49:22:09 - 00:49:46:21
Unknown
It was about 6 p.m. at that point, maybe, and Sami said, oh, this will be the last sunset, just the two of us. And I was like, yeah, that's sweet. And also, I don't know, you know, it's like I'd prepared myself for it to be maybe three day long labor. Who knows? I was just very much with the sensation as it was coming and just.
00:49:46:23 - 00:50:13:22
Unknown
And it was a lovely it was a lovely moment as well. And we went back home and the contraction started picking up, getting more intense. We thought, right, but I have a bit of a rest, bit of food, and I had a bath and some food and Sammy had a bath too. So just, you know, preparing for the long haul really potentially, set up the birth pool.
00:50:14:02 - 00:50:35:21
Unknown
By that point, our boiler had packed in because we'd already had a bath. So Sammy was then using the kettle to top up the pool. I tried that, I didn't feel good at that point. So, I came out and just was laboring in front of the fire like the log burner, which was so lovely to have that element there with me too.
00:50:35:23 - 00:51:06:06
Unknown
And yeah, they really started to pick up and my doula, Nova, I didn't quite know if I was going to be calling her, and I didn't quite know there was a possibility that she wasn't going to be around as well, because she was going away. And I knew all of this before we'd agreed to work together. And I was up for the the gamble, because really, I wanted her there.
00:51:06:08 - 00:51:33:15
Unknown
And also, I only really wanted her there. I didn't really know anyone that I wanted to invite into that space. And I labored for about six hours before we messaged her, and, and then Sammy messaged her when my contractions were really close together and really strong, and I was just very much with the contractions, I wasn't really in my head.
00:51:33:16 - 00:51:53:20
Unknown
And remember she asked like, oh, you know, she asked me how how regular they were and I, I, I was like, oh, I'm not counting at all. But then I sort of came into my head. I was like, okay, oh, they're about 4 in 10, right? Okay. 4 in 10 minutes. 4 to 5. And so it was going to take her a couple of hours to sort out childcare and get over.
00:51:53:20 - 00:52:21:08
Unknown
So that was a good time. It felt to me. And so that was the only real that was a moment of like assessment. And then I dropped back into my body and I was very much with my breath and just meeting the sensations. And I was sort of like I was in the passenger just meeting the sensation and going straight to it and not trying to change it, just being there.
00:52:21:10 - 00:52:26:17
Unknown
And that worked pretty well until.
00:52:26:19 - 00:52:32:00
Unknown
Until it didn't. I.
00:52:32:02 - 00:52:59:09
Unknown
Yeah, I carried on like that and I remember I really wanted to lie down so I would lie down, but then contracting lying down just felt like unreal. Like I couldn't do that. So when the contraction came, I'd like, flip over and go on my hands and knees. And that felt much better. And at that point, Nova had arrived and I felt real relief at that point.
00:52:59:11 - 00:53:16:07
Unknown
Felt good to have her there. And she was a very calm, gentle presence and didn't say anything really. She was there and, you know, giving me water and occasionally reminding me to pee and.
00:53:16:09 - 00:53:41:23
Unknown
Yeah, at one point I felt quite stuck, like it was becoming a bit too much for me. And Nova, seeing this, suggested maybe the pool would be a good idea to try. And I was upstairs at that point, and it's a spiral staircase to get downstairs where the pool was, and it felt like quite an impossible feat, but I made it.
00:53:41:23 - 00:54:11:10
Unknown
I like ran down as much as you can run when you're in labor between contractions and launched myself in the pool, and that felt good. And then, yeah, I've really started to feel like I was getting sort of thrown about by the contractions started to feel like, oh, I can't match. I can't meet it anymore. Like I'm feeling really out of control and like it's just beating me up and.
00:54:11:12 - 00:54:37:23
Unknown
Yeah, that's the point. When I started to look for a way out and I said, I'd like you to call the midwives. And I knew that they wouldn't come out because the service was suspended. But I didn't know what else to, to do. Like, I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do the labor or the birth anymore, and I wanted someone else to do it.
00:54:37:23 - 00:55:11:05
Unknown
So I pulled that card as the only one I really had. And Nova and Sammy were like, super calm and didn't like. They listened and they heard it, but they didn't do anything about it straight away. They let me contract a bit more and then I was like, can you call the place? And and we spoke about it and it wasn't really a real reason.
00:55:11:05 - 00:55:28:05
Unknown
Like, I couldn't really articulate a real reason. It was that I wanted a way out. And we. Yeah. Anyway, Sammy went out of the house. He made this phone call.
00:55:28:07 - 00:55:52:20
Unknown
I think he knew that it would be, you know, quite disruptive to to the room, I guess, having it inside. And he came back in and said, I spoke to the midwives and told them you were pushing because I had been pushing a bit by that point. And they said that it's an emergency and you need to call an ambulance.
00:55:52:22 - 00:56:14:15
Unknown
So obviously that I knew that that was not what I needed. And in that moment I was just like, what? Okay, fuck the midwives with my words. And that was the moment when I was like, okay, I'm going to get down to it. And it's down to me like the kind of funny thing is, it was always down to you like, what were they going to do?
00:56:14:16 - 00:56:23:16
Unknown
It's not like she's gonna what? Do it for me. Top in my body and. Yeah.
00:56:23:18 - 00:56:45:06
Unknown
Trade souls with you. Yeah. That wasn't an option that they that they offered. Yeah. I mean, getting in an ambulance, calling anyone, getting like this is ludicrous. That just wasn't. No, that wasn't going to happen. And so I kind of like slotted back into this mindset of like, okay, no, this is me. I'm giving birth. I'm going to do it.
00:56:45:06 - 00:57:15:03
Unknown
And the mantra I had in my head was, the only way out is through. And so, yeah, I started pushing and I had a feel and I could feel my baby's head right at the top of, of my vagina. And I, you know, pretty sure it was a head. Could have been something else, but I was fairly sure at the head, and after about an hour of pushing it, like it felt good to push, like I was pretty like actively, consciously pushing as far as I could actually.
00:57:15:06 - 00:57:40:16
Unknown
Which felt good. It felt like it just felt good. And an hour later, I had another feel, and the baby had come like halfway down my vagina. And at that moment I was just like, oh my goodness. Like, I'm doing it. And and this feels good. And I could feel my baby moving. And I knew that she was, but I didn't know she was a girl.
00:57:40:16 - 00:58:14:16
Unknown
Actually, I knew that my baby was well and, just felt amazing. And yeah, push for another hour and Sammy was still there, like, filling the water, the birth pool with them, pounds of hot water. Because at this point the kettle had broken. So he was like heating them up on the stove and then running through at one point, like got me a bit on the bum, which wasn't part of my birth dream, but it was nonetheless there.
00:58:14:18 - 00:58:49:01
Unknown
And it was fine. It wasn't bad. And and the baby started to crown and I remember thinking, oh, okay, well, that's why they call it the Ring of Fire, because it feels like a ring of fire. And at this point, very much with every single sensation. It was so lovely to like, feel everything that was going on. Like, I could feel her feet wiggling and it was just amazing.
00:58:49:01 - 00:59:06:09
Unknown
And even the Ring of Fire was amazing in its own way. And, I did feel like my clitoris was going to ping off at one point. I don't know if that's TMI, but.
00:59:06:11 - 00:59:12:15
Unknown
Shocked me. Then you won't be the last.
00:59:12:17 - 00:59:43:17
Unknown
That did surprise me. But even so, you know, all these sensations was such a privilege. I just felt very privileged to be experiencing them and in their fullness and, And yeah, baby, I you know, I was quite intentional about, you know, just going quite slowly at this point and not not pushing really a lot and, and just easing, easing the baby out and letting the tissues kind of gradually stretch and make way for the baby.
00:59:43:17 - 01:00:12:23
Unknown
And, she, her head was born and Sammy, like, hopped in the pool and she was facing me. So she had her back towards it. So she was back to back and and then. Yeah. And then so her head was out, and then I put one leg up and I was really trying hard to keep my bum under the water because all I wanted to do was like, rise up like this.
01:00:12:23 - 01:00:33:06
Unknown
But I knew if I rose up, then my bum would be out of the water and she might sort of flop out via the air into the water. So that didn't seem right to me. So I wanted to like, keep my bum down. And I was asking me to like, help me keep my bum down, which, just for listening like that is fine.
01:00:33:06 - 01:00:56:16
Unknown
And that babies are born that way all the time. You mean like where they come out into the air and then into the water? Yeah. Freak out about it on like I post. I've posted many videos of of women free birthing that way and people lose their minds. Yeah, I've seen it. It's fine. What you really don't want to do or what?
01:00:56:17 - 01:01:06:09
Unknown
Seems to my mind, the thing you want to be careful of is putting them back in after they've come up.
01:01:06:11 - 01:01:29:17
Unknown
Which I've also seen and seen babies be fine, but like in the shifting of the legs and moving them around when they're born in the water, but going like I've seen quite a few pages just fly into the water or even like slip through the hands, you know, like mom's trying to catch and they fall into the water, into the toilet, into the water.
01:01:29:18 - 01:01:54:10
Unknown
But anyway, whatever that was on your mind that you didn't want to do that. Yeah, totally. And I'd like to watch those videos to, to kind of like, feel that because, you know, it's it's an idea that's come from my midwifery training again that that was there. And but also those babies are very unlikely like taking a breath before they're getting the water.
01:01:54:11 - 01:02:16:13
Unknown
I mean, we're talking about a second. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean they're pretty slippery. So they fly. I also just I've never seen it be a problem, you know, like they're from from water. If there's a split second of air into the water. I mean, I understand the potential concern, but I haven't actually seen it play out as a problem.
01:02:16:14 - 01:02:21:07
Unknown
That's interesting.
01:02:21:09 - 01:02:57:17
Unknown
Yeah. So I went into a lunge position after her head was born, and then she was born with the next contraction. I remember thinking, oh, should I, like, push now or should I wait for the next contraction? I sort of like trying to think like, oh, what is it I meant to do? And she was born and I picked her up into my arms and, and just sat there staring at her was like incomplete or and, I mean, there's nothing like that moment when you go from being.
01:02:57:19 - 01:03:27:03
Unknown
Yeah, pregnant to now you've got a child for the rest of your life, and, and this is them, and this is the person you've been waiting to meet. And this is this is her. And. Yeah, we just discovered that she was a girl, which we were completely delighted by and sort of secretly both wanted a girl, which would only admitted to each other, like a day or two before birth.
01:03:27:05 - 01:03:59:07
Unknown
And had no idea. Either way, when the baby was going to be, you know, boy or girl. So it was lovely, lovely surprise. And yeah, maybe no more than a minute later, I had really strong contractions and my placenta came and caught it in a bowl and I got out of the pool. My legs were super, super shaky I think, because I've been pushing quite hard and I guess it had been 12 hours by that point being in labor.
01:03:59:07 - 01:04:40:06
Unknown
And yeah, my legs were very shaky, but I was fine. Sammy was holding the placenta in a bowl, which was still attached to my daughter who was in my arms, and I just, I sort of stumbled a meter or two to the sofa and just sat there and she fed on my breast straight away. And yeah, Nova bought us some food and some tea and, yeah, I was sort of like checking over, checking us from afar and just making sure we had what we needed.
01:04:40:07 - 01:04:54:05
Unknown
And my dog was there too. He'd been there the whole time. Kind of annoyed that we were keeping him up, I think.
01:04:54:07 - 01:05:31:06
Unknown
But. Yeah. Yeah, it was really beautiful. And by that point it was maybe we had the birth was maybe about five, 6 a.m.. I'm not sure about then. So after a couple of hours, like snuggling on the sofa and feeding and, the cord had gone white and we said a few words of thanks to the center and prepared prepared my daughter for the patting of the cord and said a few words of thanks and cut the cord and and then, yeah, Nova had done it.
01:05:31:06 - 01:06:02:02
Unknown
She'd, like, changed the bed for us and done a bit of washing up. And then she left and we went upstairs to our bedroom, and I stayed there for like six days. And before I came downstairs and yeah, it was just beautiful, like a very beautiful postpartum like, I feel like I was staring at this beautiful baby for like at least six months.
01:06:02:04 - 01:06:32:04
Unknown
I still am, actually. But yeah, it was it was very it was beautiful. Like just having the woodland next to us as well and going for walks with the trees. And every single day it felt so held and peaceful and, and I really think that the birth, well, the birth was, you know, was the, the foundation of that.
01:06:32:05 - 01:06:57:05
Unknown
Yeah. And and Sami was was wonderful to in his support of, you know, making sure I had everything that I needed and we were able to be very present and just really enjoy really enjoy.
01:06:57:07 - 01:07:41:15
Unknown
Yeah. So then kind of in, in closing, take me through, you know, kind of up till now, like you take RBK at some point. What's your work in birth look like now. Like how did that. How did going through that school support you up till what you're about now? Yeah. Wow. So after I had my daughter, I had quite a few women contact me asking if I could support them with their births because the home birth service was still suspended.
01:07:41:17 - 01:08:13:23
Unknown
And there are a lot of women out there who, like me, wanted the home birth and were looking at other options. And my baby was super young, still like four months old and younger at some point. So when the, when these women came to me and I didn't quite feel like it was a good time to leave her or anything, but I really felt that calling and I and and I wanted a kind of a bit more guidance and support by me.
01:08:14:01 - 01:08:42:18
Unknown
So I'd done The Complete Guide to Free Birth and absolutely loved it, and love the way that you guys taught. And just the whole thing felt so like just everything that I needed to prepare for, for the birth. So, so I felt like I had, but that was a good, good sort of route into working with you guys more.
01:08:42:20 - 01:08:54:14
Unknown
Yeah. And I did the school. And when did I do that? Yeah, it was 2020. It was 2022.
01:08:54:15 - 01:09:02:22
Unknown
Oh no. Sorry. It's 2023 2023 spring. And.
01:09:03:00 - 01:09:19:23
Unknown
Yeah, I mean, it's changed my life completely. Like the birth and then doing RBK and then women coming to me and.
01:09:20:00 - 01:10:05:18
Unknown
You know, and supporting them. And I've started a pregnancy circle. I was already running women's circles for a few years. And then I started a pregnancy circle earlier this year, which has been just, like, beautiful to witness the kind of connections and the the ripples that come out of that and women sharing their stories. And even we've had women who aren't pregnant yet come to those circles to and just be kind of exposed to those stories before they're pregnant, which I think is so important to have that exposure before, if possible.
01:10:05:20 - 01:10:40:23
Unknown
And yeah, just a building community in this area. And yeah, it's it's just been such a simple thing that that has come out of being part of the school and feeling like that community and then wanting to create sort of a version of that in my hometown and spread the word and let people know that it's an option.
01:10:41:03 - 01:11:12:09
Unknown
And yeah, just kind of illuminate birth for what it is. And it is a very beautiful thing that, like, women get together and we sing and we eat food and we share stories and, we just. Yeah, we're in our in our hearts with one another and.
01:11:12:11 - 01:11:45:16
Unknown
Yeah, we've had like for babies were born in May and two of those were free birth from our circle. One of them was a breach as well. And yeah, there's just there's so many more coming as well. And we all there's a few of us now who are either pregnant and planning free birth or have had free birth, who all kind of thought we were on our own and that there was no one else doing it.
01:11:45:17 - 01:12:02:12
Unknown
And now, you know, we've got this collective community that just keeps growing. It's very exciting. And I have had the pleasure of supporting.
01:12:02:14 - 01:12:36:02
Unknown
Supporting one woman with her birth. Yeah. And it was just an absolute. Well, it was just a dream again. It was. I was able to support her exactly how I imagined I could and I wanted to, and it all just happened like that. And it was so simple and beautiful and, you know, like, oh, just the whole process from, from the very beginning.
01:12:36:02 - 01:13:06:19
Unknown
Like she contacted me before she was even pregnant, because she had had a baby already in the hospital and wanted to know that when she got pregnant again, there were other options because she'd had such a horrific time. And so that whole process of just gently getting to know one another and building our connection and yeah, it's just divine and I.
01:13:06:21 - 01:13:31:08
Unknown
Yeah, I can't think of anything else better to do in this world. Can I put you on the spot and ask you to sing your, your birth song and how we close your episode? Okay, I've got a bit of a sore throat, but I think I've got enough for a song. There's there's different parts, but I'll just stick to the one part.
01:13:31:09 - 01:13:35:14
Unknown
I don't think I'll manage to be on my own.
01:13:35:16 - 01:13:57:17
Unknown
It goes like this. Home. Going home. I need the lamb to feed my soul. Take me home, take me home. Over the green green hills and far away.
01:13:57:19 - 01:14:00:23
Unknown
It's beautiful.
01:14:01:01 - 01:14:13:09
Unknown
Thanks, Emilee. Yeah. Thank you. It's nice to hear your story. Thank you for hearing my story. It's. Yeah. Feels good to get it out there.
01:14:13:11 - 01:14:18:17
Unknown
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:14:18:19 - 01:14:44:04
Unknown
I hope you enjoyed the show today. You can support this podcast by donating to it through the link in the show notes below. And of course leaving an awesome review on whatever platform you listen on. The more reviews, the more visibility the show gets. So let's spread the good word of sovereign birth. Don't forget, you can watch our podcast interviews on YouTube and see the women as they tell their birth and power stories.
01:14:44:04 - 01:15:14:17
Unknown
And you'll also find our viral free birth collection of epic raw birth videos on our YouTube. Make sure you're subscribed to our channel. We've always got a lot going on at Free Birth Society, and you can find out all about it at Freiburg Society, at Freiburg Society on Instagram and opt in to my newsletter. Below we offer courses on free birth, authentic midwifery, the blood mysteries, as well as one on one coaching, in-person retreats and of course, our annual women's gathering.
01:15:14:17 - 01:15:41:19
Unknown
The Matriarch Rising Festival, our exclusive private vetted membership. The lighthouse is definitely something to check out if you're looking for a community of wise sisters to get guidance from and to meet in real life, together we rise. Sisters, we must speak our stories, fully, claim our lives, and support one another. This is the living revolution and I am so grateful to be in it with all of you.
01:15:41:19 - 01:16:17:05
Unknown
I'll leave you with our gorgeous free birth society theme song, Wild Woman by Aruba. Read I honor you for the wisdom you held, the ancient traditions of plant medicine and womb magic. Magic. I feel the spirit of the ancestors as I place my hands upon my belly. This sacred portal will be honored eons upon light beams of survival standing the eradication of our power by design.
01:16:17:10 - 01:16:43:20
Unknown
I will not allow the separation of our young to be forced upon me. My sisters will no longer birth in captivity. The picket line redefined from burning our wild women to paralyzing us and drugging our babes, strapped down in a clinical white bed, drying up the milk from our breasts. Keep your needles. My family will never again be doomed to chase those dragons.
01:16:43:20 - 01:17:09:23
Unknown
All your poison. We reject your fear. We choose love. Everything with intention, death, ascension. I will fly and bring our backs on the star. Just watch us. While the moon is still lives inside.
01:17:10:01 - 01:17:31:20
Unknown
Wild woman from you I will not hide. They could not find your spirits away. So please teach me your way. I'm ready to learn from you. Why?
01:17:31:22 - 01:17:39:05
Unknown
I still run around with the wolves when it's time.
01:17:39:07 - 01:17:46:16
Unknown
I still runs on the run. We were all once wild.
01:17:46:18 - 01:17:54:01
Unknown
I still run, run, run. Where the wolves when the sky.
01:17:54:03 - 01:17:59:10
Unknown
We all came from. While the woman.
