00;00;00;07 - 00;00;31;13
Unknown
It wasn't undisturbed berth for me because the second one, because of this war situation, we had explosions every single day. Area the attack sirens were started. Then stop editing. Actually calculate the due date of my second. It was a wild pregnancy. I knew I didn't know how, but I knew that this time I will give birth alone. Highwaymen.
00;00;31;15 - 00;01;06;27
Unknown
Before we dive in today, I need to name something important. This episode, along with all episodes that you will hear until our winter break in mid-December, was recorded before my birth prior to mid-August. Since then, our family has walked through the unimaginable. Our son was stillborn and we are in deep mourning as the shows air, you'll hear and see me pregnant, which now feels incredibly painful and weird.
00;01;06;29 - 00;01;36;27
Unknown
Given that you are holding the sacred knowledge of what came after. So please forgive the dissonance. These stories still deserve to be shared and heard. We welcome your prayers, your loving thoughts, and your support as we navigate this spiral of such deep grief. I hope you find resonance and nourishment in this conversation today. Thank you. Welcome to Free Birth Society.
00;01;36;27 - 00;02;02;24
Unknown
I'm Emilee Saldaya, and this is where we break the spell of medicalized birth. Remember what's been forgotten and rise together into our birthright to live birth and mother as sovereign women. All right. Welcome, Natalie. I'm so I'm excited to hear your story today. I know it's a big story. You know, all I really know is what you shared in our one of our MMI classes.
00;02;02;24 - 00;02;26;28
Unknown
That you gave birth to your second child when there were bombs dropping in your country, in Ukraine. I mean, wow. So that obviously just caught my attention. And I just wanted to give you all the space to walk us through what happened and how it was. And, you know, I think there was a midwife involved in the beginning and then she left.
00;02;26;28 - 00;02;46;28
Unknown
So you were really faced with free birth. That's kind of all I remember. And so, yeah, I'm just excited for you to have, you know, this full hour to really flesh out your story as, as you want, as you can. But let's start with your first child. And as you became a mother. What do you want to share about your first birth?
00;02;47;01 - 00;03;43;26
Unknown
It was my intention was to to give birth at home. But it also surprised me, this decision I made, because back then I worked at a big companies and supported insurance issues with employees. So I knew that hospital is the only way and I knew the better one's own worst and so on. And then I quit from my job at some point, and I guess it five years later, I gave birth to my first, and being on the 30 or 28 weeks pregnant, I first time visited Red tent gathering of women and the doula who organized this red tent.
00;03;43;28 - 00;04;19;24
Unknown
She shared information about and about Sister Morningstar's approach of wild pregnancy of wild, wild women. And I was, oh, there is another option. And I made it so. And when I asked myself, how can I prepare to this? The answer was to find somebody, to find home midwife. And in Ukraine, we actually don't have this profession as licensed midwives or something.
00;04;19;27 - 00;04;57;11
Unknown
It is actually illegal to give medical support at home by medical professionals, including midwives, so they can not support birth at home. And I knew it would be hard to find somebody, but since do love from there our first red tent. She said that she know the midwife in Ukraine who also visited City Morningstar's classes and as she said, it would be the only option.
00;04;57;11 - 00;05;29;18
Unknown
I will give somebody permission to attend my birth. And I just met this midwife and I liked her. But I was confused because I was in this, you know, medical system paradigm. And I asked her, what should I prepare the list of something to, to be on hand at the birth? And she said, give you pack some bags for hospital or something.
00;05;29;18 - 00;05;32;15
Unknown
I said, no.
00;05;32;18 - 00;06;01;03
Unknown
I don't feel that I should do. And she said, oh, you ready for home birth? It's okay. I see that you don't already. And you understand what go what was going on? And the hospital is not even option to you. You don't prepare for it. And I started to give birth at midnight. I remember my friend asked on Facebook.
00;06;01;05 - 00;06;34;00
Unknown
It was a question. What kind of present do you want to receive on the 8th of March? So on the Women's Day and I said, I want to feel the start of the labor and you mean it's before midnight and the day my contractions started and as I had no any kind of sensation during my pregnancy, I guessed that maybe it's training contractions.
00;06;34;02 - 00;07;10;27
Unknown
Something like that. I went back to sleep and I slept for three hours. And then I realized that no is actually birth. Because I started to go to talk about this eliminations on and on and on. And at 6:00 in the morning, I guess, I called to midwife and she said, I asked actually my husband to call her, and she wanted to hear me and to to understand where I am in my labor.
00;07;10;27 - 00;07;52;07
Unknown
And as I answered her, she said, oh, we have time, okay, I'll come to you. And I guess 2 or 3 hours later she came and she offered me to evaluate the case of cervix opening. Yeah, to check me. And I rejected, said okay, no problem. And all this time I was sitting on my bed and was leaning on football, and just as she, she asked me if I have this experience for the whole time I'm in labor and said, yeah, it's all.
00;07;52;14 - 00;08;40;17
Unknown
And she offered me to lay down and to rest. And after I lay down, I felt that my sensation going bigger and more intense. And I was, oh, actually, yeah, this house is so, so helpful to me. And then she checked me. I don't remember the whole story. It was six years ago, so I don't probably I attempted this and I remember at 10:00 she said to my husband that we have maybe 8 or 9 hours more to deal there emerge of our baby.
00;08;40;19 - 00;09;10;19
Unknown
But he came to us two hours later and I, I was laying on my this side, on my side, and I just experienced this contractions. I was totally in ward and at some point she came to the room. She for almost all the time she left the room and I was totally in my nest. I built in my room this red tent.
00;09;10;20 - 00;09;38;15
Unknown
We just made this red cloth from the to the walls, and I really felt like being in the town. And there was a long most of the time. And then she came and she said, oh, you have the push stage. It's not a contractions anymore. I was so surprised because I didn't feel the difference between any sensations. And I feel I felt the urge to sit down.
00;09;38;15 - 00;10;16;06
Unknown
She had this spiritual birth chair, and it's not even in the whole it was like this shape chair. And I was tried to situate myself on this chair, but it wasn't comfortable. And I asked to just, is it okay to just stand on my knees and said, for sure you do. You may do whatever you want. But she was afraid about the duration of the push and stayed with no actually luck because the baby wasn't.
00;10;16;11 - 00;10;45;13
Unknown
He was inside of me actually, for two hours. Yeah, and she proposed me to touch the the head of the baby. And I remember this feeling. I was so surprised by this purpose because I said, oh, no, it's impossible. I can't reach there for a few months now, and I can just reach to my only to touch his head.
00;10;45;15 - 00;11;16;11
Unknown
And she said, okay, but but she said, just try it. And I realized that actually I feel his head and I was sure that I was confused during being in world and I he had some here over his head and I touched this here and said, realizing, oh, how strange his course is going from his head. Not not from the belly, but but it was.
00;11;16;12 - 00;11;56;24
Unknown
Yeah, it was my mistake. I just felt his hair there and then. She was afraid about duration of the pushing stage, and she offered me to make a little dose of Peterson and. Yeah, and now I'm surprised. And then I was actually surprised and I rejected. But later she made me the water of the whole dose. And I felt actually after that I felt that I have no contractions anymore.
00;11;56;27 - 00;12;26;10
Unknown
It was so strange because I know the stories were women said that it's intensified. They are construction. What did what did she do? So she offered you pittos2 when you were pushing? Yeah. And you said no, and I said no for a few times. But then she said, we can go to the hospital. It's not an option. And yeah, I as, as I understand now, I was in panic.
00;12;26;11 - 00;12;55;13
Unknown
And then she did give you the pit. Yeah. Oh shit. Like she shot it. No. And my hips and everything stops at that point. And she was like, oh boy, what's going on? But a few minutes after, I was like, what's going on? What's wrong was why nothing happening. It's already stopped. And at that point I was afraid.
00;12;55;13 - 00;13;28;15
Unknown
Also, I remember this thought came into my mind that, oh boy, I am becoming a mother forever. And it was so scary. Thought yeah, I knew that I will have a child. But full realization of this point I felt only that moment. Oh boy is forever. And later contractions began over and over again and after 2 or 3 pushing, he came and I laid down.
00;13;28;15 - 00;14;06;15
Unknown
I started to breastfeed him. He legend, legend and I guess I half an hour later she said that we have to burn placenta and she gave me the rest of the small dose, a bit of business and again, and percentage just falls from. Yeah it came out. Yeah, yeah came out from another and the worst was complete. It was the first one.
00;14;06;15 - 00;14;31;15
Unknown
And then when you get pregnant again, how many years have gone by. My older was two and a half, almost two and a half. And so do you hire the same midwife? I texted her, but at that point I knew. I didn't know how, but I knew that this time I will give birth alone. Oh, I thought you hired a midwife.
00;14;31;17 - 00;15;02;29
Unknown
No. Okay. No. I texted her and she said, okay, I'll be there if you want. No problem. But I knew that maybe she will late. Maybe she will be somewhere else in the other town, or something will happen that I will have to birth by myself. So I think I have this feeling, intuition, feeling of scenario of my next birth.
00;15;03;00 - 00;15;39;03
Unknown
And she said that she will be on Paul whatever I want to call her, but I didn't. I didn't have this, I don't know, I didn't actually calculate the due date of my second because I it was wild pregnancy with my first. I did all these checks with OBGYN in private clinic, and I remember she asked me where I planned to give birth and I said at home was like, why?
00;15;39;05 - 00;16;02;25
Unknown
Just it will be safe here for me. And she said, maybe somebody will support you. Maybe you hired a midwife. And I said, yes. And she was curious about who will be at least midwife. And I give her a name. And she was she was terrifying by this because, oh, this, this is only me. Who are you talking about?
00;16;02;26 - 00;16;29;18
Unknown
Now you're talking about the ob gyn. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. And she said, oh, no, not this midwife, whoever you want to hire, but not her. Please don't. And so yeah, she expected me to ask it why. And I said okay it's it's your point of view okay. But I will be there with her with, with this midwife.
00;16;29;19 - 00;16;53;15
Unknown
So what happens for you after the birth of your son to two and a half years later, when you know that you will have a wild pregnancy and you will birth alone? Where does this awakening come from? I don't know, I just knew it. I kept to my education on natural birth and I don't remember this like, awakening point, you know?
00;16;53;17 - 00;17;20;09
Unknown
Oh, okay. I just prepared myself to rumbles, and I understood that I should be prepared to do it by myself with my husband only. And our oldest son. Had you heard about other women doing that yet? No, no, no, actually, no. But but I knew that I'm capable. I didn't know how. I knew that I'm capable to do it.
00;17;20;10 - 00;17;54;11
Unknown
So what was it about your first birth that you didn't want to repeat at that point? No, I didn't have this. So maybe maybe it was the feeling that I want. I don't want somebody to be here at my home while I am giving birth. I don't know, really. I don't know why I didn't feel comfortable with the midwife, actually, I felt at the buoyancy came to me.
00;17;54;11 - 00;18;26;29
Unknown
I felt relieved that, oh, okay, now I'm ready. I'm ready. You know, it was like this. But two years later, I understood that I don't need the support anymore. I really capable to do it by myself. I know how I have experienced to to give birth and so I knew I know it, and maybe next time it will be easier and more understandable for me.
00;18;27;00 - 00;18;55;09
Unknown
And I wanted to have more experience to to feel my power. What can I do without any help? And how old is that baby now? Is three okay? I have two boys, six and three years old. Okay, so three years ago or more than that, you're pregnant. You decide to just do it alone. So tell us that story.
00;18;55;09 - 00;19;23;01
Unknown
And I started to prepare was the first one I knew that I don't want what a birth. But with the second one, I knew that I want to have this pool, I ordered it. It was a whole story of this point, and I prepared as I prepared myself by watching the classes, reading the books. I read the City Morningstar's.
00;19;23;03 - 00;19;54;15
Unknown
I actually think it was. Maybe it was the point when I. Yeah, at first, because I didn't know that somebody given birth free freely. But for the second one, yeah, I realized it from the City Monsters, the book, The Power Women. And at that point we started to text with her, and she supported me in many ways during my postpartum and during the this month before the birth.
00;19;54;16 - 00;20;35;27
Unknown
I remember that I made other over there on her side, and I made this comment to the my order that I hope that I will have to talk for some day. And she answered with the questions about how am I from the line where actually it was war for for eight years in Ukraine. But I was in the capital and it was about 400km away from us, and she asked if I'm ready to move.
00;20;35;27 - 00;21;06;01
Unknown
Some were if it will be needed, and I was so sure that the war will never happen in such a massive way. And I said no for the whole years. Then we were pretty far away from this. We have no reason to leave our home. Not later. We we did it. And so I realized that there are women who capable to give to go through free birth.
00;21;06;08 - 00;21;52;23
Unknown
I didn't know this term. I started to listen to your podcast, I guess the year after I gave birth, or maybe maybe 18 months or so. To which kid, after the second one, I first Primrose and then find you. And I realized that all these women is is actually two women I want to learn something from. I don't know, actually what what actually, I wanted to know from you, but maybe this feeling, just being in the mood of non hospital paradigm and seeing natural approach to the birth and all life processes.
00;21;52;25 - 00;22;39;12
Unknown
So yeah, go back to your pregnancy. Tell us a little bit about when the war starts, just how that experience is for you. And it was strange. I was on 30th June, 33 weeks of pregnancy I already made. I paused all my business. I shared with my women's circle information that we will not gather anymore before the birth, and we actually prepared my perspective as I had this experience of classical support by bringing in food, making dishes, making a lot of actually support to me.
00;22;39;13 - 00;23;17;22
Unknown
And we established this plan to spartan support for me. And I was in relaxing mode because I just we were in my nest and planning with my husband what he will do with our son while I'm giving birth. We shared this expectations with with the song. It was said that mama Will will give birth to your brother right here at home and all the songs he may make and all the stuff house can be.
00;23;17;24 - 00;23;56;24
Unknown
And we just were in, you know, relaxed waiting mode. And one morning at the 22nd of February 2022, we woke up with the sound of explosions. And as we lived at the fifth floor, I asked my husband, maybe is a car accident right the next street? And he said, no, it's it's much louder. Something happened, but I remember his jokes.
00;23;56;25 - 00;24;28;08
Unknown
You don't think that is the beginning of the war? And they said, oh, for sure. And then the next explosion and then we, for the first time, we experienced the signal of air raid. And we was like, I was possible. I know it's impossible. Are you one of the many women out there addicted to this podcast, wondering how on earth you can bring the good word of free birth to the women of your life and community?
00;24;28;11 - 00;24;51;18
Unknown
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00;24;51;18 - 00;25;15;14
Unknown
And yes, you are allowed to explore this. In fact, if you feel the call to serve women in this way, that is your permission. So join us. This is an international training ground for women who are remembering what birth truly is and reclaiming what it means to serve with honor, clarity, devotion, all wrapped up in a container of deep self work and business training.
00;25;15;18 - 00;25;40;21
Unknown
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00;25;40;23 - 00;26;03;28
Unknown
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00;26;03;28 - 00;26;30;01
Unknown
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00;26;30;02 - 00;27;07;13
Unknown
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00;27;07;14 - 00;27;40;07
Unknown
They propose to make this group travel just to to leave Ukraine within our Or so. And it was 6 or 5 in the morning and we were totally not prepared for this leap. And we decided to like in labor and to just to wait and watch what was going on. Maybe it's just accidentally and maybe it's a long time in, in a lifetime, but it wasn't.
00;27;40;07 - 00;28;24;10
Unknown
And later in this evening, this day, in the evening, we decided to pack our stuff and to leave 300km away to his parents house because attack was going on. Yeah. And it stops in the night. And the next morning we had this explosions again. And it begins intensifying and closer to us. So we backed everything. We felt important documents, my books.
00;28;24;11 - 00;29;00;29
Unknown
It was my point to to feel the safe and some, some clothes for us and for kids, because we were completely sure that it will last a week, maybe or two. But it was three years plus plus for now. And I remember we also packed my husband's tablet because he's to the artist, he just painting on his tablet and it's huge.
00;29;01;01 - 00;29;42;17
Unknown
And his computer monitors on all this stuff. And our car was fully was full with, with all our stuff. And we have the kids chair there. And I remember the last one we in my pool, my breathing because it was flexible and we just situated in between our stuff. Just just to take it was with us. Yeah. And the trip that usually takes about three hours due to traffic and all the people live in the country.
00;29;42;24 - 00;30;19;17
Unknown
It took us almost 18 hours. Wow. Yeah. And it was actually shortcut. And we made it. And including all shortcuts we made during the it might be much longer. And I remember my son was asleep. We came at 2 a.m. at my husband's parents house. And at that time it was restrictions. It was actually restrictions at the streets after midnight.
00;30;19;17 - 00;30;49;11
Unknown
And I remember my husband left the car just just to open the gate and to go to the yard. But I realized that I feel on me some lights and I, I'm pregnant. I'm keeping my elder on my hands asleep, and I have this flashlights in my face. And police asked, what are we doing here? Who are you?
00;30;49;12 - 00;31;30;12
Unknown
Do you have some weapon with you? I was like weapon? No, we just came. We just trying to find a safer place. We came from the capital and from Kyiv. And then he realized that I'm pregnant and all the situation. And he apologized and left when my husband came back. And what happened? What, are you so scared? He didn't notice this interaction because he was all with the staff of preparing place to our car, and it was terrifying.
00;31;30;13 - 00;32;09;14
Unknown
And then we had this whole new life experience, you know, and I was it wasn't undisturbed. Birth for me was the second one because because of this war situation, because we had explosions every single day and area the attack Syrians were started, then stopped, and sometimes it was only a short an hour between between it and I remember a sister texted me.
00;32;09;20 - 00;32;39;06
Unknown
She said, it's all good. You are at nature now. You can go out and just feel the grass under your feet. And I said, I can't. I was unable to go out from the house and all my thoughts was about I can't protect my older son. Can I give birth?
00;32;39;08 - 00;32;45;07
Unknown
To someone I can protect?
00;32;45;09 - 00;32;57;26
Unknown
And it was of shock, of grief, of.
00;32;57;28 - 00;33;08;10
Unknown
I desperately wanted to go back home.
00;33;08;12 - 00;33;14;14
Unknown
But I realized that it's impossible.
00;33;14;17 - 00;33;19;26
Unknown
Day by day I.
00;33;19;28 - 00;34;00;28
Unknown
Do. I like that now I know why I had this feeling to give birth alone, and I understood that I'm. I was ready to give birth alone, but I didn't. How did you give birth? Year in the war? And little by little, I just said to myself that, okay, you didn't know about it, but you maybe knew it.
00;34;01;00 - 00;34;46;27
Unknown
He knew where to come and how to come to your life. So you just a carrier here, you just to cure him from one point to another point. And if he is so brave, you may also be the same as his mom. And I did everything I, as I knew to make my my myself feeling safe and supported and held by other women, by God, by nature, by everything surrounded me.
00;34;46;28 - 00;35;25;14
Unknown
My husband's family and I read my books. I remember when my construction started. I was listening the class of Jean Hardy Collins on the wisdom of the circle and about the women's seasons, life, seasons, and on blood mysteries and women pieces. And I made some notes and I thought, oh, something happening. Maybe. Maybe it's starting. But no, I will I will continue to make my notes.
00;35;25;14 - 00;35;59;28
Unknown
And I remember this paper with the notes when I was at the beginning of the labor. It was stride ladders, everything nice and cute. And then I feel contraction. The letters are going down and okay, like, let it just take it aside. And then the next one and I'm listening. And few hours later I said to my husband, you better feel the you, but you better find a way.
00;36;00;04 - 00;36;31;02
Unknown
And he was so excited that he he forgot to jump the pool and all the water goes through the pool, down, down to the floor. And we have this pool. And the room became the pool. Actually it's someone. Yeah. And then we realized what's going on, and I came to the pool and he arranged all, all the stuff with the excessive water.
00;36;31;05 - 00;37;11;07
Unknown
And he made this nice cards with expressions about labor. It was flowers. It was something like you want with beautiful, your birth is perfect and so on. And he just clipped it all over the walls. And the pool was under the lamp. And when I leaned back at the pool and and see all almost on the lamp, this card, it was so, so nice, so so sweet.
00;37;11;07 - 00;37;50;13
Unknown
And I, I remember myself laughing on this card that that the baby is coming out much, much faster as I as I'm laughing and I feel this like, you know, unexpected mercy that for almost 30 hours there is it was first time from the beginning of the war that there was none Nunatak, no non explosion. It was totally peaceful, totally silent.
00;37;50;17 - 00;38;31;10
Unknown
And I remember at some point I was just scared about now I realized that it was maybe adrenaline effect on me, because it was a few minutes prior to our baby came and I was like, oh, you should call to midwife. Oh no, don't call her call to my friend to Bulla and tell her that my baby is coming with my uterus totally closed and he won't take away the uterus with him.
00;38;31;12 - 00;39;02;13
Unknown
I was in this stage. He's coming with my uterus. The cervix is closed, totally closed. And he will come just with their own mom. And I remember he just calling and to my friend. And she was not she didn't pick up the phone. And the next time she called back and he said, oh, everything okay? The baby is here.
00;39;02;16 - 00;39;46;02
Unknown
And she said, oh, okay, I understand. And I was like, oh, it's possible it I knew it. That is coming with the uterus. But it was only him. It was only him and he, this neutral cord, this two times around his neck. And my husband just took him and all this court and give the baby to me. And I came out of the pool to the bed, and I tried him to to breastfeed, but he didn't let him.
00;39;46;05 - 00;40;13;29
Unknown
He was so asleep. He was so calm. He didn't cry. He was like, oh, okay, you're here. Okay, I will go to sleep. And I remember my husband's mother of four, nine or so days. He asked that, why is he not crying at all? Is he okay? I said, yeah, it's okay. It's okay for babies to not cry every time.
00;40;14;00 - 00;40;49;15
Unknown
It's it's totally okay. And so, so, so surprising. And then maybe sitting minutes after he was born, I asked my husband to bring the ball. And I felt like I have this feeling that something growing inside of me, and I want to push it away. And I just dispose of the goddess who gave birth. She's squat. Go down.
00;40;49;16 - 00;41;27;27
Unknown
Yeah, I wanted to squat down and I heard something splashing, and I was so sure that it was placenta and just goes out to the bowl. And I remember I noticed that really long cord, bigger than meter lens was pretty long, and I. Yeah, I just squatted, heard the splash and oh, okay, I'm done with placenta. And then I realized that the cord is still attached to me.
00;41;28;04 - 00;42;00;20
Unknown
So there is it's not a placenta in the bowl. It was a really big portion of the blood like a clot. No, it wasn't clot. It was liquid. Gotcha. Yeah. And I asked my husband to send this message to the chart of the midwives home. It was it was international chart and asked to evaluate the blood loss. Is it okay?
00;42;00;23 - 00;42;34;25
Unknown
And the answer was is okay, but it's time to stop it. The bleeding. It's enough. And I realized that I have to give birth the placenta. But I felt failing. I felt so weak at that point that I'm almost lost my conscious, and I didn't want to lay down because I understood that I will. I will have no capacity to open my eyes more.
00;42;34;29 - 00;43;06;10
Unknown
And I felt that I want to fall asleep and just to stay awake. I stayed sitting and I made, I made, yeah, I'm. I tried to burn placenta once again, but no luck. And I kept bleeding and I realized that it's it's too much for me. I don't know if it's too much for everyone, but it was too much for me.
00;43;06;10 - 00;43;48;05
Unknown
And baby was asleep and I tried to awake him, to latch, to just help me with the person of placenta. But he was totally engaged in this process and he was just just sleeping peacefully right on me. And when I tried, I just put him next to me. And he was born almost at 6 p.m. and it was 8 p.m., as I remember, I tried to burst my boss and I realized that I'm unable to one more try.
00;43;48;12 - 00;44;19;00
Unknown
I'm too weak and one midwife from the child to reach to my husband and offered to help me, she said as a as I see she's okay, placenta detached and all we need is just pull it from her bills. And my husband just washed his hands and he tried to pull the center with the court, but the court was told, and he has.
00;44;19;01 - 00;44;54;07
Unknown
Oh, we got a problem here because yeah, the court was in his hands but was still in me. But he tried again. I guide him from my side because he didn't know what what he is touching my cervix. My margin is placenta. And when he took this percentile, he just pulled from from my uterus. And I felt so big relief.
00;44;54;10 - 00;45;22;02
Unknown
Finally. And it was almost nine and a half. Yeah, yeah. So it took three plus hours to give birth to placenta. And I was bleeding during all this period. And then did the bleeding stop when the placenta was born? Yeah. Well not not like switching on off. Yeah. But but it's becoming less and less and less. And it stopped.
00;45;22;04 - 00;46;00;25
Unknown
And I remember this feeling of weakness and I wasn't sure. Am I able to go asleep because I was so not sure that I will be in conscious. And I remember I ate some food, sweet, sweet food, warm porridge. And it was some some drinks with nettles and lemon and now and, and the next day I had migraine for almost the first time in my life.
00;46;00;27 - 00;46;36;18
Unknown
And I know that it's maybe because of the success of bleeding, because there was not enough fluids in my body. And then I it was at the beginning of the next story of my motherhood. I breastfeed my eldest until he decided not to let you know. And actually it was in the beginning of my second pregnancy, but with the second one I had no milk and I wasn't able to to start breastfeeding for the first three days.
00;46;36;18 - 00;47;15;15
Unknown
It was not enough for him to it colostrum. But then yeah, he started to lose his weight and I asked all breastfeeding consultants for some advisers for some support. And it was actually very strange situation with all of them. Most of them left the country at the time and they were only online, but they were so busy with beginning their lives in other countries and so unsupportive.
00;47;15;15 - 00;47;58;15
Unknown
And I received some comments like, you know, you have to receive blood when it's adding some blood into your blood transfusion to transfusion. Yeah, but transfusion in their first hours after birth. So you will not have these problems with breastfeeding. I was like, okay. And we started to talk breastfeeding with donors milks. Okay. I didn't know how it was possible in that circumstances, but we find a few milk mommas for our baby and my husband every day two times a day.
00;47;58;16 - 00;48;37;24
Unknown
And the attacks on the explosions. He visited these three women to just receive their milk. They pumped and we started to breastfeed my baby. And actually, I didn't have milk this time at all because I understand that it was a few lines why it's happening because of the horrible situation with no safe, with no calm at all around us and and because of blood loss.
00;48;37;25 - 00;49;15;21
Unknown
And it was funny when I when we finally two weeks later find it the breastfeeding canceled and they are in the name of the town. She came and the baby alleged and he was just just breastfeeding. But when she left, everything stopped. And I now I understand that it was my state of mind and said of state of tension being totally alone on all of the situation and with no support.
00;49;15;21 - 00;49;53;27
Unknown
And we had to make this all this horrible paperwork to have this, his birth certificate. And it was another point of story, because we have this protocols to receive birth certificates, you have to visit your OBGYN and you have to visit pediatrician, and you have to gather some forms from them. After they evaluate you, your baby and his placenta, you have to bring the placenta there.
00;49;54;00 - 00;50;26;07
Unknown
Yeah. And the second protocol is you doing the DNA test. And then you have to visit your doctor and he even your you some form of the evaluation your baby and his placenta. So and after that you are able to receive birth certificate and everything is should be done by the mother self with the baby, with the placenta.
00;50;26;07 - 00;51;09;22
Unknown
And it was totally nightmare because to go home as we decided to to go home after receiving birth certificate, we we had to arrange all this paperwork to to receive it and nobody at the town knew how to do it. And it was probably the first home birth ever at this town. And they were so terrifying. As I called to one hospital to reach to the doctor and she said, oh no, you should call to other one, and I call it the other one and said, oh, oh, we already knew your your last name.
00;51;09;22 - 00;51;36;12
Unknown
And you said, oh no, no, no, we can't accept any request from you. So you have go to another one. It was six hospitals there in this town and they already knew about us everything. And then when we came to final point, the president of this hospital, it was it was actually like a CEO in the company director.
00;51;36;19 - 00;52;08;06
Unknown
He called to police and social services as it was impossible for them situation to give birth somewhere at home and being so weak after birth. And I remember seeing my baby, he was pretty big. He was two kilo and 200g and I don't know how to say it in metric system. And she said, oh, you probably have tears.
00;52;08;06 - 00;52;40;00
Unknown
And I said, no, somebody supported you vagina during the birth. No. And you're so lucky you being in hospital, you would receive all the support, all the help from our team. And I said, no, never, ever. And I remember we even visited private clinic and they made ultrasound to prove that I gave birth. And they had this ultrasound.
00;52;40;00 - 00;53;14;05
Unknown
And the doctor said, oh, I can't, I can't take this responsibility and I can to just to put endanger my clinic by giving you some forms to register your baby. Yeah. It was so insane. And I felt like I'm, I'm like in the movie with no one who understand what's going on and how to just give us the forms.
00;53;14;07 - 00;54;03;04
Unknown
We knew the numbers of forms. We have templates of these forms, and nobody from the doctor's side didn't feel any of it. Then we have a few stages of registration. Did it eventually work? Yeah, we we took our certificate for the baby and we just pack our stuff and went back to Kyiv. And the next day I received a call from police department that and they said that we came to the address you mentioned at the we had as we traveled from Kyiv to Venus, we had to register ourselves in this town during the war.
00;54;03;06 - 00;54;28;13
Unknown
And I had to give the address will be and they said, we didn't find you. So where can we find you to understand what's going on with your birth and what your baby and so on. And so I said, oh, luckily we left the Kyiv and we are not anymore. They said, oh, okay. In this case we have no questions to you.
00;54;28;18 - 00;55;16;24
Unknown
It's all all the stuff from the piece part of police and nothing happened with it here. So we said yeah. And then you went, you went home. Yeah, yeah. And how much longer did the war and the bombings last? We still have. Really? Yeah. Last night. Whoa. And previous and previous. How close is it to you? Actually, sometimes I see the lies of explosions and some houses are destroyed just in hundreds of meters away.
00;55;16;26 - 00;55;48;00
Unknown
It's pretty close. And you are staying there. Why? Because it's restricted for men to leave the country. And I'm not ready to separate my kids from totally. But. So the men are not allowed to leave Ukraine? Yeah. In age between 18 and 16. But you could go live somewhere else as a woman. Yeah. He can't leave his town.
00;55;48;03 - 00;56;24;25
Unknown
He can't leave the country. But what about living somewhere else in the country that has less bombings? There are actually no less bombings, okay? And we have all these military points all over, around the towns, and they just militarized men who trying to cross the border of the town. It's just easier to stay. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah, it's easier not not safe.
00;56;24;25 - 00;57;00;18
Unknown
You're not. Right. But not not easily actually, but. Well, yeah, that's the wrong word. It just doesn't sound like there's many options. Yeah. Stay. Stay alone. Somewhere in the world without my husband. Oh, we can try to travel. And you will be took away to the war. Yeah, those are not good options. Yeah, yeah, I'm a while. I'm submitting my request for some training or some long programs.
00;57;00;19 - 00;57;14;16
Unknown
I'm just praying to stay alive until they are. There's been bombings that have targeted your town. Yeah. Last time it was.
00;57;14;19 - 00;57;44;18
Unknown
430 drones, actually. Bombs. Oh my God. And 300 came here to. Because you're in the capital. Not actually about the capital. Last night, it was the small town at the west of the country, and it was more than a hundred bombs attacked, not even the capital of the region. Yeah.
00;57;44;20 - 00;57;53;22
Unknown
Is there anything else you want to say before we close? Yeah, I feel completely.
00;57;53;25 - 00;58;24;24
Unknown
And you want to ask something? I'm open to answer. Well, just totally wild reality to be forced into adjusting to. I mean, I obviously wouldn't pretend to imagine. Yeah, I'm here for three years plus with this circumstances, but I still can't just. Right. How do you. It's so wild to be in bombing at night and the next day.
00;58;24;24 - 00;58;56;11
Unknown
Just living our lives and the next time. And so. Well, planning the walks with our kids by checking if it's okay. It's a person in the sky. Actually, we have no civil plans for all these three years. And if you hear the sounds of the plane, I remember with the first one he just run to the window and said, oh, was the plane.
00;58;56;14 - 00;59;46;10
Unknown
Look at the plane in the sky. And now when I hear this planes, I understand that, that it's not in good. So when you hear the planes, do you guys do anything? Do you, like, go somewhere in particular or do you just wait and see what happens? Oh, actually, we have no shelters next to us, and it's impossible to pack at night to kids to bring them somewhere where a lot of actually hundreds of people with their dogs, with their babies, with it's totally wild and crazy and it feels more.
00;59;46;12 - 01;00;12;20
Unknown
Comfortable, maybe to stay at home, but we just stay at the room where we have no windows. And actually we know that if it will happen that the windows are just explosion, we will not be injured by it. Probably. So. God.
01;00;12;22 - 01;00;39;19
Unknown
Well, I'm glad you're and MMI so that I can keep tabs on you. Wouldn't this work? It means a lot. Really? Well, thank you for sharing your story. All right, women, I hope you enjoyed the show today. You can support this podcast by donating to it through the link in the show notes below. And of course, leaving an awesome review on whatever platform you listen on.
01;00;39;20 - 01;00;58;28
Unknown
The more reviews, the more visibility the show gets. So let's spread the good word of free birth. Don't forget, you can watch all of my podcast interviews on YouTube and see the women as they tell their birth and power stories. And you will also find our viral free worth collection of epic Raw Birth videos on our YouTube channel.
01;00;58;28 - 01;01;20;05
Unknown
So make sure you're subscribed. We always have a lot going on at Free Birth Society, and you can find out about all of it at Free Birth Society. And I am at Freiburg Society on Instagram. Please opt in to my newsletter below so that you don't miss a thing. We offer courses on free birth, sovereign birth work as well as one on one coaching, women's retreats so much.
01;01;20;08 - 01;01;44;02
Unknown
Our exclusive private vetted membership. The Lighthouse is definitely something to check out. If you were looking for a community of wise sisters to get guidance from and to meet in real life. Together we rise. Sisters. We must speak our stories fully, claim our lives, and support one another. This is the living revolution and I am so grateful to be in it with all of you.
01;01;44;03 - 01;01;45;10
Unknown
Till next time.
