Birthing with Only Spirit and IntuitionApr 21, 2023
"I gave birth for the first time at my home in the trust of my body, my lover, our baby, and some warm water.
My path to freebirth began about six years before giving birth. It was when I started to acknowledge and trust the sacred power of my womb. She spoke to me loudly through consistent bleeding. I'm talking about a week-long period every other week...for almost six months.
Meanwhile, I went to gynecologists and doctors; all they could offer were various forms of birth control. So I knew I had to tune in and figure out how to balance myself and my body.
A couple of months into my pregnancy, I was sitting in meditation with my womb and some tarot cards, during which I had a flashback to the moment a year earlier when I spoke to my baby, asking for more time.
My body became chilled when I realized this new conception happened in the same ovulatory cycle exactly one year later! I thought, what a patient little lad or lassie; this baby really wants to be a Gemini. Then I started to have many dreams of twins. I was a little nervous and excited by the potential of twins, but I wasn't sure if they came from Gemini vibes or actual twins.
This was helpful for me because I had been making a lot of artwork and paintings during my pregnancy to be present in my transition from maiden to mother and was given the opportunity to have a solo exhibition.
I sat down with the calendar to intuit the right date. I wanted plenty of time to finish the work but didn't want to try and have a show during my postpartum period. Feeling pretty confident that this baby was a Gemini, I decided to make the show date the last day of the Taurus season. When it came time for the exhibition, I was very large!
It was such a magical show and felt more like a ceremony. I had sewn the skin for a giant red tent tipi installed in the exhibit’s center. Friends and family came, and we circled in and around that sacred womb all night.
Then, on our drive home, I began to have contractions!! I wanted to think that labor would wait until after I had some rest, but that wasn't what my body and baby were thinking.
When I felt my water break, I wasn't sure what it was since I was in the water...then I saw a little bit of mucus and said I think I just lost my mucus plug.
I felt between my legs, and there was a bulge that felt so big it made me panic a little bit. I was quite nervous about tearing, and when I felt that bulge, I thought my yoni couldn't stretch that much. But, at that point, I knew there was no turning back, and I just wanted to get that baby out no matter how.
Then, I felt his head ease down and then back up. I knew this would help with the stretching, so I was trying to be patient, but after three times that happened, I was so ready for him to come out.
With the next contraction, I gave a little extra push, and my baby shot out of me so fast I saw his head, shoulders, and torso.
We were absolutely amazed, and it took minutes of staring at him before we even checked to confirm the sex. We had suspected he was a boy for a while, but I finally looked and told my partner, and he was in tears.
I felt relieved to have birthed our child with only spirit and intuition as my guide.
Trusting that my body and baby knew what to do helped me let go of any fear and doubt that came into my mind. I am so grateful for how everything unfolded and for the magic of this life!"
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