I lost my mucous plug at 41+5 and finally had an solid inclination that labor was near. 

 

10pm: I began having contractions that were 10 minutes apart. At that point it was just me and my toddler in bed together. I was excited for impending labor!

 

12am: I was feeling tired and frustrated that I was in labor instead of sleeping. I didn't want to be alone so I called my mom and asked if she would come over and comfort me.

 

She arrived and climbed into bed with me. The contractions continued and were about 5 mins apart now. My toddler was being restless and all over me and it made me anxious. I went to the living room to labor and ended up on the couch. 

 

2am: I called my boyfriend and he said he'd be "right over". He took forever. Turns out he got almost to my house and went back to get the “Emergency childbirth manual” I had him print out a couple months earlier. When I called him and heard that I was so angry.  "WE DON'T NEED THAT HURRY UP AND GET HERE". 

 

3am: He finally gets here with his stupid birth manual in hand. My mom and daughter went to lay down. I was in the middle of active labor now with someone who was here to help, but didn't know how. I directed him what I needed, but found myself annoyed when something wasn't done perfectly. I started wondering if I should go to the hospital. I thought this was just the beginning and imagined laboring for hours and hours. I doubted if I had the strength in me.

 

But at that point I was naked, no hospital bag packed, and there was NO way I was getting in a car.

 

I decided to be my own doula while greg sat next to me. He did what I physically couldn't, like reach for something far away, but I held my own cold wash cloth to my belly and head. In my head I was coaching myself, surrendering to the pain and letting it just wash over me. I told myself “This is okay” and that gave me strength. “This is happening, and this is okay.”

 

He informed me that contractions were 3 minutes apart. I started getting back labor and feeling like laying down just wasn't right. I got up and just started walking aimlessly. I ended up at my bathroom door and something told me to get in the tub. There was already luke warm water in it from earlier.

 

I filled it some more to my liking, labored on my knees in a kneeling position and FINALLY found my rhythm. We had only a night light on, and my glasses were in another room so everything was blurry and dreamy. I was in my own zone, swaying my head and body during contractions. Praying to jesus that my pain could be united with his on the cross. I looked over at my boyfriend and he was trying not to laugh at me...ugh whatever I just ignored him and continued. A moment later he asked if he could rest his eyes for a bit. I didn't mind at all. 

 

I thought my labor was still in the early stages because the actual pain of contractions started to disapear. But suddenly I felt undeniable pressure in my butt, and the bearing down feeling I had read about. I was in denial though. Where was the horrible transition labor and the back to back contractions? Mine were short, and had (what seemed like) long breaks in between...so there was no way I was feeling the urge to push already, right?

 

I kept relaxing and rode a couple more waves The pressure increased with each one and I felt a big pop and a gush. My waters had broken! That's when I knew my son would be here soon. Things were feeling too good to be true.

 

My body instinctively raised enough to have space between myself and the floor of the bathtub. I felt my baby descending into my body. When I reached down I could feel his head right there. With each contraction I allowed myself to only push enough to feel slight resistance down there. Then I'd relax and allow him to go back inside. I did this with 4 or 5 contractions and he came out with ease. No ring of fire. I could feel with my hand the opening stretching and I was amazed.

 

I then felt his body rotate and the rest of him slid right out. Just like the YouTube videos I had watched. I pulled him up and he let out a big cry. My boyfriend thought he was dreaming. I was in disbelief myself. Our son was here in my arms. I did it. I had my home birth and in the end it was perfect.

 

We turned the lights on and my mom and daughter came in to see. I was shocked at the amount of blood in there with me. Honestly I didn't know what to do, he sounded like he had fluid in him. I held him belly down and lifted him up and down, letting the fluid run out of him nose. The placenta came out within a few moments, along with his first poo. My daughter looked shocked and confused. It was surreal for all of us. I tilted him at an angle and let the fluid run out of his mouth and nose. 

 

My boyfriend, who had been on the fence about freebirthing, proclaimed that he now felt that this is how birth was meant to be. And I couldn’t agree more.