Around 20 weeks pregnant, I made the choice to fire the midwife who had attended my son’s birth.  It was during the pandemic, and I refused to have anyone in a mask attending my birth.  I knew that I didn’t need to be managed, and I didn’t need anyone there.  During the time leading up to my birth, I learned to turn inward and protect my energy and space.  

At just short of 40 weeks, one morning, I woke up and realized that labor might be starting.  I went through my day as usual, keeping in mind that later in the night the hard work might start to begin.  Things definitely started to pick up that night around 10pm.  I tried to sleep between contractions, but couldn’t get comfortable, so I came out to the living room to labor alone.  

The next few hours were almost psychedelic.  I was able to rest in between waves and I had Devi Prayer playing on repeat.  I called my husband in to join me and hours passed blissfully.  As the morning arrived, I felt the urge to get in the tub and things started tp pick up.  I remember crying, “I just want my water to break!” and, about thirty minutes later, I felt it pop.  

I decided to get out of the tub and try and rest in between waves.  Once I got in the bed, I started feeling pushy, and after a couple of hours, I felt my baby’s head emerge!  I yelled out that I wanted to finish in the tub, but as soon as I stood up, the sac exploded and I proceeded to make the most guttural sounds as my son finished being born.  

His cord was wrapped all around his body, and instinctively, I untangled him and calmly held him on his belly.  He screamed immediately, and I couldn’t believe how fast his emergence happened!

After about three hours later, my placenta came out, and our journey was over.  We curled up in bed as a family of four, just pure magic. 

--Madison

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