Free Birth of Eshma Jean
July 23, 2018
On Sunday morning at around 1 am, I started doing the Miles Circuit, per recommendation from a good friend of mine, to ensure that baby was in good positioning for birth. To my surprise, at 5 am I woke up to contractions along with a bloody show. I didn't think anything of it, as I had never experienced this, so I did a little research and went back to sleep. Or I tried to at least. The contractions kept coming at random intervals but I was consistently experiencing them every hour. Still, I thought nothing. The start of my contractions instantly put Trentiss into preparation mode so we went out to grab some last minute necessities for our birthing pool.
We were out running errands for hours, contractions were still coming, and I was still in denial. I had a feeling that once I got home, things would start to progress faster. At around 6:45 pm, we got home. I started making cloth wipes, picking up around the house, squatting, dancing, doing whatever I could to keep myself moving and preoccupied. As I figured, the contractions began to get stronger, closer together and harder to bear. By 8 pm, I decided it was time for a hot shower to ease the pressure. By the time I got out of the shower, the surges were so frequent and intense that I couldn't keep track anymore. This is when I (finally) knew that it was time.
I got into the birthing pool at around 9:30 pm, it was like a natural epidural and took so much pressure off. But not for long. It was approx 10 pm and I knew I had reached transition when I started crying to Trent, "I can't do this, my body can't handle anymore of this pain, I don't think I can make it". Shortly afterwards I felt like I'd take the biggest $#!+ of my life, and that's when I knew that it was time for me to get out of the pool and birth my baby.
With the next surge, I jumped out of the pool, grabbed a chux pad and got on all fours. Trent was applying pressure and massaging my lower back. I was so afraid of tearing that I found myself resisting the urge to push and that's when a little voice in my head reminded me "listen to your body". I stopped fighting it, FER (fetal ejection reflex) kicked in, and within three surges, SHE was out! And mama didn't tear at all.
But wait, let me just take a moment to talk about how amazing my man was. The pool water never got cold (it actually ended up being too hot hence why she was born on the floor. I always saw myself birthing her on my living room floor anyway, I knew I wouldn't birth in the pool), there were fresh apples and pomegranate waiting for me during and after birth, he was encouraging and confident the whole time, amongst many, many other things. He was the ultimate support person. I couldn't have done it without him.
Making the decision to have an unassisted birth did not come easily and actually wasn't originally apart of our plan, but this is the path that we were meant to take in bringing our child into the world. It takes a lot of courage and confidence to have complete faith in yourself and not let the worries and disapproval from others discourage you. There was truly no better way for us to have done this.
I'm still in awe that we did it on our own.
I'm amazed at my body.
I feel like such a Goddess.